Aileene possessed knowledge of the real world, but in the end, it was only knowledge. It wasn't something that she could directly experience. She could only learn the information, see the images and process it. The real world was extremely different from Vain and at times it was almost too strange for her to believe in, but of course, she did because of the constant reminder that she was still within a game with a system that existed to manage everything.
She had tried to ignore everything so that she could live a normal life, but how did that work for her. Her parents had been murdered unjustly and it was all caused by her. If only she could have fulfilled her role better. If only she had been a better villainess. But as much as she regretted, nothing would change, nothing could change. She could only hold onto her own revenge and despair. No one could save her now.
The system was ousted by her, its own product. This was the only life she would manage to have, then it would all end. She would no longer exist, she would disappear, as a code that was imperfect. The system would move on and create a better villainess, a better Aileene and the cycle would just repeat. There was no end, there was no solace for her. Aileene could never feel peace. What was the point of anything?
She talked big, she wanted grand plans. But who was it for? Was it for the sake of her innocent parents? Or was it for her own selfish desire to find some form of fulfillment for herself? What could she want so much to fulfill?
Was it to kill the Austrion Royal family? Was that too—
Was it to simply lie to herself? All this time, what did she want? Was it love? Was it happiness? Or was it her wish to somehow matter, to somehow exist, in every sense of the word.
To exist—to be real.
'Vain is simply a game, no one truly exist within a game.'
❅
Aileene didn't know when she had escaped from her dormitory, but she had. She couldn't think nor breathe properly and she felt trapped within her own room, within her own world, within Vain. So she ran and ran, afraid and lost. But there was no place for her to go, nowhere to run to and nothing to run from.
Her mind was in a frenzy and tears fell down her cheeks. She silently cried in the cold embrace of the snow. The white flakes billowed in the harsh winds around her and she searched for any sign of warmth, as she huddled against a barren tree within the Academy garden. Her thin blue gown soaked from the wet snow.
❅
Then it was late in the afternoon, the sky was still faintly blue and Lucian had woken up in cold sweat. These days he had been mindless enough to even fall asleep at his desk. Something that the normally perfectionist him wouldn't accept, but somehow he had gotten used to it. He massaged his neck and pinched the bridge of his nose, he had apparently slept in a bad position, since both his neck and head were hurting. He took in a deep breath to orientate himself in a moment of silence and his grogginess quickly faded away, replaced with the feeling of wrongness that he had woken up to hitting him in full.
He couldn't describe the feeling, it was just a sense of unnaturalness. It was as if he was meant to be somewhere else, somewhere that wasn't here, somewhere that someone needed him. So Lucian left his seat and grabbed a coat before getting out of his dorm room. His logical side was long gone and he accepted the fact that a simple emotion had driven him into the cold blizzard that attacked the calm of the Academy.
Most students were indoor and readying themselves for the big day tomorrow, the official first day of school. Everyone had already gotten their assigned classes so they were merely studying the Academy map or hanging out with their friends. Lucian was once again alone, he had been rather reclusive if not even consciously present. Aside from his worsening schedule and absent-mindedness, he felt that his own thoughts were changing. He had never wanted anything more than the completion of his goal, there was never an after for any of it. But what if there could be, what if there was an aftermath that he got to choose himself. An ending that would fulfill his own wishes.
Pushing the door to the dormitory building open, he was first hit by the prickling cold. The snow blew wildly in the wind, heading west. Lucian became shortly panicked after entering the storm, he felt rushed to arrive somewhere. Something told him that if he didn't hurry, it would be too late. So he started running, he ran and he ran with no clear direction.
Time had no clear passage and the sky was getting darker, as the day approached its twilight. Lucian stopped running once he felt he had arrived at where he needed to be, the sky was still light enough for him to see and a tall black tree caught his eyes almost immediately, it stood in contrast to the white plying snow that he had to tread through while he ran towards it.
The snow had perfectly coated the person he saw leaning on the tree and when he had tried to move her, he finally realized who it was—Aileene. He reacted quickly, taking off his own coat to wrap around her as he picked her up. She was unconsciously and shivering, but still alive. His heart hammered in his chest and his mind was racing, just as his feet were. He needed to get her back to his room, he had to warm her up. She couldn't die like this, she couldn't leave him. There were so many things he wanted to tell her, if only she would listen. But she was so cold, she was barely hanging on. Even as he tried to warm her up, she didn't respond to him. He ran as fast as he could, but the distance was unending in his mind.