Word Count: 588
Warnings: Cheesy thoughts and that's about it. Yes, not even curse words.
Song for chapter 22 - "Liar" by Camila Cabello.
***
It was around 2AM as I was laying on my back on my bed, staring at the ceiling and contemplating my feelings. Did I like Richie? Had I liked him all this time and hadn't realized it? I didn't know the answer to any of those questions, however I did know that Richie meant a lot to me. I never thought of him that way, I just considered him as a best friend.
Now, that I think about it, he was beautiful. Those dark brown eyes behind the glasses, making them look huge. His curly dark brown hair. The freckles scattered along his cheeks.
I shook my head, realizing how weird those thoughts sounded. It probably wasn't me liking him. No. My mind was just playing a trick on me, I didn't like him. I thought I liked him, because I saw how he felt, so my brain copied it out of pity. All I felt for Richie was pity, that I didn't like him back. That's all.
I closed my eyes, trying to sleep again. The voices in my head prevented me from it. Sometimes, I questioned my sanity. Was it actual voices or was it me pretending to be the voices?
After a while, I finally succeeded in falling asleep.
***
It was the next day and I was sitting in history, which I shared with the class Richie was in, because their lesson apparently had been cancelled, so they split us half in half and moved half of our class and half of their class to a different lesson, while this half was in history. It was fucking confusing, but at least I was in the same class as Richie. I sat next to him and from my angle, it was appropriate to stare in his direction, because the teacher was there and I was sitting in a corner, so I had the chance to sneak glances at Richie. He looked interested in the topic the teacher was telling us about, but I was too busy admiring him.
I saw him turning to look at me and I immediately looked away. In the corner of my eye, I saw him take a piece of paper and write on it. I hoped this teacher didn't yell because of note passing.
Richie sneakily passed the note to me and written on it was: 'hey you feeling okay? you seem a bit flustered'
I gave two thumbs up and a goofy smile as a response that I was indeed OKAY. Richie obviously didn't see through my bullshit, but he ignored it for the lesson. He never was the type to confront anyone, he minded his own business...but he might ask again if I was okay, because of the Alyssa incident yesterday.
I just zoned out as the teacher went on with the lesson, like always.
***
It was almost last lesson and I was really on edge, because I told Richie I was going to talk to Alyssa. I really didn't want to hurt her feelings, but I didn't want to keep living lies.
It was English, which I had only with my class (which meant Richie was in a different lesson). Alyssa was sitting next to me. She noticed my leg bouncing up and down at the speed of light, so she nudged my shoulder and gave me a questioning look.
"We need to talk. After school." I quietly whispered, so nobody next to us would hear. She gave me a concerned look then slowly nodded.
Oh, boy.
***
Ooga booga