December 13th.
Maddie's POV:
Billie hasn't left my house since I got my dog and since I got my house in general. It's literally just like my apartment, but today she actually has shit to do which means I can put my plan into action.
Billie: "But I don't wanna work! I was having fun with you!" She was laying on my bed while Milo was laying on her chest, I think Milo loves Billie more than me. But it's cute so I can't be mad.
Maddie: "You have to work."
Billie: "Do you wanna know what I'm doing today?"
Maddie: "What?"
Billie: "I'm recording everything i wanted."
Maddie: "Really?"
Billie: "Mhm. I also had a song idea too, but I don't know if I'mma do anything about it today."
Maddie: "What was your idea?"
Billie: "I don't even know, a fan said something to me on tour. I wish I could remember her exact words because that shit was a good ass line."
Maddie: "Are you gonna start working on another album?"
Billie: "Not yet, at the the end of the year they're probably gonna want me to do another tour. It's not confirmed and I haven't even had a meeting about anything, but before I start working on another album. I want to get touring out of the way."
Maddie: "Makes sense."
Billie was scratching Milo's ear before she got up, she walked over to me at my vanity and gave me a kiss.
Billie: "I'mma head out, I love you."
Maddie: "I love you too, when you go downstairs will you let Milo out?"
Billie: "Of course."
I finished getting ready, it was like eleven maybe twelve? I don't know, but I have been so productive recently like I'm on top of my shit. I pre-filmed. That's a rare occurrence.
I have a meeting with Kenzie today, then I have a nail appointment then I need to call Finneas.
I walked outside to let Milo in, but then I realized that the lighting is hitting different.
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Milo and I walked in together, Milo is such a chill dog. She's affectionate of course. But like if it's just her and I chilling, she'll do her own thing. She sleeps a lot, like I aspire to be her.
I was sitting at the island looking at the calendar, I like everything where it is. So I think I'mma leave it there, Kenzie is on my ass about opportunities I got before tour. But I don't even think I'm the same person I was when I left, so I don't even think I wanna do those anymore.
I told her I was down to a majority of those things when I left, but I don't want to do them anymore. Because before I left for tour, it was the same thing every day and I just hated it. But now there's actually some variety, and I love it.
Billie low-key plans my career and she doesn't even know it, I based my whole career around her tour, now I'm basing it around the list that she made.
I wanted to call Finneas before Billie got over there though.
Calling Finneas😁:
Finneas: "Maddie!"
Maddie: "Is Billie there yet?"
Finneas: "Nope."
Maddie: "Good, I was wondering if you would help me with her birthday present."
Finneas: "I would love to, what is it?"
Maddie: "I have an extra room in my house, and I was wondering if you would help build a studio because I have no clue what one would look like and need."
Finneas: "I would love to help."
Maddie: "I'mma tell you this now, I'm not forcing her to like record here. I have it to where I can work from your house and I want to be where you guys could work from here, because I know recording at your house is like a special thing for you and her."
Finneas: "I already knew that was your mindset, what's the date?"
Maddie: "Um today's the 13th."
Finneas: "I could have it done by the 17th. What time does Billie get back?"
Maddie: "She said 5, but I'mma take her out so you have more time. I'll pay for everything of course."
Finneas: "You guys are so cute."
Maddie: "I know."
Finneas: "What did you name your dog?"
Maddie: "Milo."
Finneas: "You didn't."
Maddie: "But I did."
Finneas: "You're so good to her."
Maddie: "I try my hardest, I have a meeting though. I'll see you later."
Finneas: "I'll send Claudia over to get your credit card."
Maddie: "Okay, thank you."
Finneas: "Don't mention it Mad's."
Call Ended.
I locked my phone and waited for Kenzie to show up, at this point I was sitting on the couch with Milo. I know I've been happy, and I know that I have never felt this before, I think about it all the time.
I feel like I'm changing, I don't know if I'm changing in a good way. I love being happy, I do, but I catch myself doing things that I would never do three months ago.
I'm starting become too vulnerable, like don't get me wrong, I was vulnerable with Billie before but now it's like I rely on her for everything. I was never this vulnerable with anybody, and I thought that I could never bounce back from what Nicole did to me. Looking at it from someone else's perspective, I have no clue how the hell I bounced back.
She took away my family, they're still there. But after what they did, I don't want anything to do with them. But if Billie left, I would be destroyed. I thought I was destroyed when Nicole left, no. I was damaged. Billie is my everything, I don't wanna lose my everything.
But like I was saying, I'm different. I don't feel the same, I don't look the same and I don't think the same. Certain aspects of that, it's a good thing. But I don't feel like I'm Maddie anymore.
It's not the fame, I was famous before tour. I'm famous after tour. It's the happiness, I don't know what to do with it. I'm not getting used to the feeling because I know how quickly it can get taken away from me, I've learned not to take anything for granted. Especially happiness.
Babygirl❤️:
im taking you out tonight.
okay, are you good?
yeah.
shorty.
Read at 3:32P.M.
It bothers the fuck outta me that she can see right through me, through a text message! I love that she can, but it's like I can't hide little things from her.
There was a knock on my door, I assume it was Claudia. I haven't really hung out with her since tour, like I see her at Billie's all the time, but I feel like I don't talk to her. She can read me just as well as Billie can.
Claudia: "Maddie!" She pulled me into a hug.
Maddie: "Claudia!"
Claudia: "Oh my god! Look at this little pupper." She bent down to scratch Milo's ear.
Claudia: "What's her name?"
Maddie: "Milo."
She looked at me and smiled, she stood and looked into my eyes.
Claudia: "Are you okay?"
Maddie: "I'm fine."
Claudia: "Why are you lying?"
Maddie: "Why are you pushing?"
Claudia's face instantly changes.
Maddie: "I'm sorry, I wasn't being serious." I exhaled.
Claudia: "You're right, I shouldn't have pushed since I knew something was wrong. But I know you know this, but if you wanna talk I'm a phone call away."
Maddie: "I know, it's just- I'm happy for the first time, like ever. It's changing me and I don't know if I like that feeling."
Claudia: "Are you changing for the better or?"
Maddie: "I wanna say yes, but then I wanna say no. I always told myself that I wasn't going to vulnerable and rely on everyone for my happiness after Nicole destroyed my relationship with my- not important, I was doing okay being semi-by myself. I was okay with keeping to myself about things, but now it's like I can't keep to myself. I talk about everything and I rely on Bil for everything, I hate that but I love that at the same time."
Claudia: "You think you're changing because you talk about your feelings?"
Maddie: "No, I don't know. I just never thought that I would do this again. I don't know I'm just scared."
Claudia: "What are you scared of?"
Maddie: "I'm scared that I'll get hurt again."
Claudia: "Billie would never hurt you on purpose, you're her everything. Billie's not going to just get up and leave, I don't know if Billie's said anything, but she's been through it too. I don't know what you've been through either, and I'm not asking you to tell me. I remember when Billie was talking to Finneas about when you told her, like she didn't say the details or anything. She said that you could see and hear the hurt in your voice. But like I was saying, Billie's been through it too, she knows what it's like to get hurt she would never put you through that."
Maddie: "I know she wouldn't, I know she's been hurt. But she could get up and leave like it's nothing."
Claudia: "She wouldn't. You mean too much to her, it would hurt her to walk away."
Maddie: "But what's stopping her?"
Claudia: "Her love for you."
I stopped and thought about what she said, Billie does love me and I know that. I'm not scared about her leaving or whatever, I'm just scared that I'll take my happiness my for granted.
Maddie: "I'm not scared she's gonna leave or whatever, I'm just scared I'm going to take my happiness for granted and that's the one thing I don't wanna do."
Claudia: "You're not going to take your happiness for granted, because you deserve nothing but happiness."
Maddie: "I know, but I also know that my happiness could be taken away from me at any minute."
Claudia: "What is your happiness?"
Maddie: "There's not one thing that defines my happiness, if you asked me that a month ago, I would say Billie. But overall I'm just really happy with life right now. But like I don't remember what it's like to be sad."
Claudia: "It's amazing that you don't remember what it's like to be sad. I'm happy to hear that you're happy with life, I know you've struggled with happiness and to hear that you finally have it, is the best news."
Maddie: "I mean I guess, thank you, that means a lot Claudia. Here's my credit card, I have a meeting to attend."
Claudia walked towards me, and gave me another hug.
Claudia: "Finneas will give you your card back, but try and keep Billie out of here during the day."
Maddie: "I will, thank you though."
Claudia: "Don't mention it babygirl." She bent down to scratch Milo goodbye and she walked out of the door.
The talk made me feel better, and like that thought wasn't bad enough to question my happiness.
Billie's POV:
I've been at my house for hours, I was supposed to go back there so she could take me out, but I want to finish this. I called her and told her this, and she said she understood and she wasn't mad about it. I know something's still wrong with her though.
I heard the front door close meaning that Claudia was back from wherever she went, Finneas was gone too. there was a knock on my door, I got up and let them in. it was Claudia of course.
Claudia: "Hey Billie, so I was with Maddie."
Billie: "Is she okay? She texted me saying that she was gonna take me out, but I need to finish this, I asked her if she was okay and she left me on read."
Claudia: "She'll be okay overall, but right now, she's scared that she's gonna take her happiness for granted and it's all gonna leave when she needs it the most."
Billie: "Why does she feel that way?"
Claudia: "She's never been happy for this long before, she's scared that she's gonna get used to it and she said that she doesn't remember what it was like when she was sad. I told her that's a great thing and she agreed."
Billie: "What is her happiness?"
Claudia: "She said that she doesn't have a source, she said that if I asked her that a month ago she would say you. But she said that she's overall just happy with life right now."
I looked at Claudia taking everything that she was saying.
Claudia: "What happened with her?"
Billie: "What do you mean?"
Claudia: "Why is she hurt?" I could see the pain in Claudia's eyes.
Billie: "I can't say anything, but I'll talk to her and see if I can let you know what happened. But if I can't, then I'm not going to say anything, I saw how hard it was for her to open up to me. I'm not going to break her trust, that was the one thing that she was scared about. I haven't even told Finneas and I tell him everything."
Claudia walked father into my room and sat in bed, she ran her hands through her hair.
Claudia: "I don't know, it's just I spent so much time with her on tour. I hate to see her sad when she was just having fun."
Billie: "That always happens, she'll be having fun and then the next day she won't be having fun anymore. I just want her to be happy all the time, and I feel like there's nothing I can do to make it stay that way."
Claudia: "No, you're not understanding she's happy. She's just scared that she's going to take her happiness for granted. Just make sure that she talks to you and she's transparent with you."
Billie: "I always do, I'mma go back over there in an hour."
Claudia: "Okay." She placed her hand on my shoulder and rubbed it reassuringly.
I'm not really worried about Maddie and what's going on because I know it's not permanent and I know how she works. She's going to doubt her happiness for the rest of today and then she'll be fine tomorrow.
I was almost done with the song I was touching up, I don't even think I'll do anything with it. It's just nice knowing that I have a song if I need it.
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madisonvoyage: i will never get a nail idea as good as my last nail idea.
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I knew she had a meeting today with Kenzie confirming what she's going to do and when she's going to do it. Ever since last time there is a worry of her getting overworked, but I think she's learned and won't schedule shit so close together. She doesn't have a reason to schedule anything so close together because she's not working towards a tour again.
I cleaned up my room before I left.
Shorty❤️:
im leaving my house now, do you need anything?
Delivered.
I waited about twenty minutes, before deciding to go to her house. It didn't take me long to get there, I pulled into the garage. I opened the door and I'm immediately greeted by Milo.
Billie: "Aw hi Milo! How was your day?" I set down my keys and I picked her up. I started to walk towards the kitchen, I grabbed a water out of the fridge and Maddie's asleep on the couch.
^ that's her dog by the way.
I let Milo out and I walked over and kissed Maddie's forehead, she let out a relaxed sigh before sitting up.
Billie: "I'm sorry if I woke you up, I wasn't expecting you to be sleeping." I said as I closed the lid on my water bottle.
Maddie: "You didn't, you're fine." She looked at me with tired eyes, I leaned down and kissed her.
I waited a minute before I let Milo in, but when I did I picked her up and I sat on the couch by Maddie.
Billie: "I talked to Claudia."
Maddie: "Mhm."
Billie: "Are you okay?"
Maddie: "Yeah. She was right, I shouldn't feel like I'm taken my happiness for granted because I deserve every inch of happiness and I have worked so hard to get here."
Billie: "You do deserve your happiness, I have seen you struggle to get here and you have worked hella hard to get here. You deserve to be happy and you deserve to have fun."
Maddie: "I know, thank you."
I wasn't going to tell her that Claudia wants to know what happened, because Maddie will feel pressured into telling her and I don't want that.
She rested her head on my shoulder and moved closer to me, Milo was laying in between us. Maddie was petting her lightly.
Billie: "Do you wanna go to bed?"
Maddie: "I thought you would never ask." She smiled at me, it was a genuine smile. I knew this wasn't going to be a big problem.
I took her hand and we walked upstairs, Milo followed us of course. She lays right in between Maddie and I, she perfectly fits in that little space.
Maddie walked to the bathroom and I walked to the closet and changed out of what I was wearing. I ended up in the bathroom with Maddie and started getting ready for bed.
She finished everything before me because she was in her longer, she wrapped her arms around my waist and placed a kiss on my neck.
Maddie: "I love you."
Billie: "I love you too shorty."
We eventually ended up in bed, and she had her head rested on my chest. I was stroking her hair and I could see her visibly relax.
Maddie: "I know you're worried about me, but I'mma be fine. I'll be fine tomorrow."
Billie: "I know how you work, I knew that."
She let out an amused laugh, shortly after her breathing evened out and she was asleep. It didn't take me long long to drift asleep with her.
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i literally brainstormed ideas on how to make maddie sad, and there just isn't one. i mean there's on, but like i don't wanna cause permanent damage 😉
thanks ily
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