October 18, 2018
Everyday I wake up in pain, knowing nobody loves me at all, people say they do but don't know anything about me.
I met this one man on Minecraft, I made a video on him applying for his server, it's the first time I talked to someone outside of a video.
Hopefully it goes well...
October 19, 2018
I went to school today only to get hurt even more, everyday it gets worse, Dave's been hitting me harder and longer for everyday now, it seems he has things going on too.
Sometimes I feel like it's not worth living anymore, I overhear my roommates talking about kicking me out, I don't have anywhere to go after this, I escaped my parents since the only thing there is verbal abuse.
I cut myself a total of 15 times today, my new record.
I wonder if anybody really cares about me.
October 28, 2018
Terrible. Terrible, i just want to die, it's not worth it anymore, my channel is dying, I haven't uploaded in 10 days, I've ran out of pre recorded stuff.
During 7th period I was caught off guard and ended up in a bad spot with the bad group, it seems they got a new person, there name is George, It seems Harvey and Clay are already close to them.
Overall I cut myself 57 times in 10 days, I'm a fucking disgrace.
December 2, 2018
Ive been kicked out, I wasn't able to pay my part of the bill.
I have nowhere to go, I only have a suitcase full of mostly my PC parts, I have nowhere to go.
I think I'm gonna do it soon.
December 3, 2018
My shitty channel reached 500k, I thanked my fans of course, but to me, it's just another meaningless statistic.
I live in the school now, I've made a decent corner in the cafeteria, I try to ge- I try to steal food before it's locked up, I only get 2 meals now, maybe 3 if nobody is looking.
My suitcase? It's in the abandoned closet, I only get a shower once a week. My phone bill unpaid.
Everything is driving me over the line.
Dave pulled a knife on me, he held it to my neck and laughed, he then punched me in the left eye, something about my left eye he loves.
The BadBoyHalo person seems nice, I only talked to him a few times when I get lucky with WiFi.
Is it even worth the struggle anymore?
December 23, 2018
Fuck, people are starting to catch on, I've been wearing the same 3 hoodies and same 2 pants for over 3 weeks. My life is getting more confusing. Dave was about to hit me on the 5th in the bathroom, his eyes started watering and he suddenly kissed me.
He ran away after, he ever laid a hand on me so far.
This BadBoyHalo dude is genuinely nice, instead of asking about stupid things, he asks about me, I never experienced that before, people only talk to me when they need something.
But in the end, it won't even matter