Word count : 3151
Summery: Bucky wants to propose to Tony .... but it doesn't go to plan -
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"You know, Anthony," Bucky said, putting on his most sincere expression, "we've been together for like a little over a year now, and --"
"If you lead with that, he's going to think you're breaking up with him," Steve pointed out rolling his eyes at his best friend.
That was true. Tony was prone to jumping to all the wrong conclusions almost constantly; especially where it concerned their relationship. His mind worked faster than anyone's he knew- including himself - one of the things that made him fall in love with the man - but he knew he had to be very cautious.
"Argh!" Bucky ran both hands through his hair, tugging when he got to the base of his skull. "I don't even know how to do this."
"It's Tony," Steve said. "You can't build anticipation, you know that. He'll either not be listening, or he'll spin his wheels trying to figure out what's wrong. Just keep it simple. Preferably after he's had a cup of coffee." Steve smiled trying to lighten the mood, but Bucky only sighed in frustration.
" who knew this would be so hard?" He muttered
Bucky snatched up the little velvet-covered ring box. The ring was simple, a blue and grey crystal merging into each other. He loved it as soon as he saw it- blue for the arc reactor ( his heart) and Bucky's signifies metal arm. even if it was expensive, and custom-designed - It would look nice on Tony's finger. Bucky thought about it for weeks making sure it was made with no edges, so Tony could wear it even when he was working.
"Do you think he'll say yes?" Bucky couldn't help the words that spilled out. Nerves, he guessed. He looked up at Steve with big grey eyes.
"I don't know," Steve said, raw and honest as he always was,... yet completely not helpful. "It's Tony. If I could predict anything he'd do, I'd have fewer headaches."
Bucky snorted. That much was true. Unpredictable was Tony's middle name. "He loves me?" Bucky said. He meant it as a statement, but somehow it sounded more uncertain and he knew the nerves were showing once agin.
"Yes. We all know that," Steve said, rolling his eyes. "And it's not a matter of love, I don't think. He's just... got... issues. Marriage may be one of those things. I mean, you two have been together for almost longer than anyone else he's ever dated. Don't... don't take it to mean he doesn't love you, if marriage isn't something he's up for."
"So, you think I shouldn't --"
Steve sighed. "I think you should," he said, "because you want to."
Bucky tucked the ring back into his jacket pocket. "Okay, one more time, for luck."
Steve rolled his eyes indulgently. "alright, only 'cause I love ya punk."
Bucky drew in a deep breath, reached for the ring. He took Steve's hand in his and knelt down next Steve's chair. He conjured up a picture in his head of his tousle-headed boyfriend, eyes still heavy from sleep, coffee cup in one hand. "Anthony, would you do me the very great honor of agreeing to be my husband?" He presented the little box to Steve.
"Perfect," Steve said, and leaned over to pat Bucky's shoulder . "That was lovely, Bucky, do it just like that. He'll say yes."
——
Tony ducked behind the wall, hiding. His heart hammered in his chest, lungs heaving for oxygen in a world that had suddenly caught fire. No, no, no.
God, it hurt. Hurt. Like someone had ripped his heart right out of his chest, and he knew what the fuck that felt like, because he'd gone through it before. His genius brain couldn't help but replay what he'd just seen; Bucky on one knee at Steve's feet, holding up a little square box, the shape of which was familiar to every single person.
He rested his head on the cold surface of the wall behind him as hot tears welled in his eyes, his mother's words echoing in his mind, the same words she said after his first break up...
'If you love someone, let them go
If they come back to you, they're yours
If they don't, they never were'
For as long as anyone could remember, Bucky had belonged to Steve, belonged at Steve's side. He should have known. Maybe they'd had a thing, back in the day. Bucky'd never said, but Tony never asked, either. Not wanting to know, because Captain America was not a thing that Tony could compete with- a thing not many people could compete with- if anyone. He'd known that his whole life. But there'd been Peggy, his aunt....
So, of course, Tony was just the side dish, someone to kill time with until the spot at Steve's right hand was open again.
And now Bucky was laying a claim in a more permanent way. Jesus, was it too much for Bucky to at least have broken things off with Tony before moving on?
"Friday, get me a suit on the landing pad," Tony said, pushing up from the wall and striding toward the elevator with ground-eating steps. he couldn't stay here, not right now. And for the first time - he was prepared to leave everything behind - to start again. Because this reality was too painful. He didn't think he would be able to survive another heart break- betrayal.
——
Access denied
The hand-scanner beeped at Bucky, flaring red.
"What the hell?" Bucky stared down at his right hand as if he expected it to have also been replaced. The penthouse door had his print for almost nine months now. He still had a suite downstairs, where he kept a few things, and occasionally retreated to when Tony was in a mood....
"Friday?"
"I'm sorry," Friday said, her accent snippy, "but you no longer have access to this floor."
Bucky sank to the floor, disbelieving. What the utter hell was going on? He hadn't seen Tony all day; he'd gone for a flight in the Iron Man suit before even stopping at the kitchen for coffee, but that was relatively normal, sometimes Tony got a craving for coffee from a shop halfway across the world, and impulse control was still a thing Tony didn't have and don't have to worry about- he was a billionaire. And then there were the times where he put the lab on complete lock down because he had a break through and didn't want to be disturbed.
But Tony had left the lab without saying anything to anyone... And apparently locked Bucky out.
What. The. Hell.
Bucky put his back to the wall right across from the door and waited. Friday would see him on the security cameras and eventually the AI would get tired of watching him; she'd tell Tony he was out there.
When the door slid open, it wasn't Tony at all, but Bruce, looking exhausted.
"Oh," he said, staring down at Bucky. His normal calm expression wavering on extreme annoyance. . "Haven't you done enough?"
Bucky squinted up, his sensitive nose picking up traces of whiskey. "Can I just --"
"No," Bruce said. "You can't. He's passed out drunk for the first time in months, and he's in no state to talk to you. You know, I wouldn't have encouraged this, if I thought you were going to --" Bruce waved his hands around. "-- screw it all up."
"What the ...? Bruce?" Bucky scrambled to his feet.
"Did you think he wasn't going to find out about your little scandal ? I can't believe you'd hurt him like this." Bruce shook his head, then, when Bucky grabbed his wrist to try to keep him from walking away, Bruce whirled on him. Eyes a dark shade of green "Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like that."
——
The hangover was bad, like nightmare levels of bad. Even with the blinds still neatly over the windows, the only light coming from the bathroom and the alarm clock on his bedside table, Tony felt like someone was drilling an icepick into his forehead.
"I cannot believe I used to drink like that all the time," he muttered, getting one hand over his eyes to hold them in place.
He staggered to his feet, stumbled into the bathroom and brought up what had to be at least half a bottle. Ug. The floor looked nice, which was good, because Tony was about to meet it, up close and personal.
"Here," someone said. Tony managed to roll over to look up -- and up -- at a very pissed-off Natasha. "Glass of water and some pills. Get up, Tony."
"Why do you hate me, little red?" Tony groaned. "What even are these?" He indicated the little bowl where she'd placed three purple and black caplets.
"Poison," she said, flatly, then stepped over him to get a washcloth. She wet it, squatted, and washed Tony's face for him like he was a toddler.
Oh, well, in that case- Tony tipped the pills into his mouth and chased them with the water. the water soothed his aching throat and Nat's hands on the washcloth were gentle, no matter how much she seemed like she'd rather break his neck .
"What were you doing last night?" she asked, wetting the cloth again and wringing it out. She pressed the cool material against the back of his neck and God, that felt good.
"Getting drunk," Tony said, because really, wasn't it obvious? He used to be better at it, too. He vaguely remembered Bruce taking the second bottle away from him and not wanting to get up to get it. "How are you even in here?"
Natasha rolled her eyes at him. "It's me," she said, like that was supposed to mean something, and Tony figured probably it did. There weren't places that Natasha could be kept out of; if she hadn't invaded a locked room it was because was wasn't interested in what was on the other side of the door. "Care to tell me why you were drinking?"
"Why ask me," Tony said, "when he's your friend."
"Tony," Natasha said. She ran two fingers down the side of his face to catch him under the jaw. "Look at me and tell me what's wrong. I can't fix it --"
"You can't fix this, Nat," Tony said, wearily. "Not for me. There's no fix. They're gonna get married and live happily ever after, and I'm just not. But we knew that, didn't we? Happily never happens for me."
Natasha blinked at him a few times. "Walk me through that slowly, hmmm?"
Christ, why did The world want to torture him like this? What had he done to her, that would make her want to make him drag out the details?
"I saw them, Nat," Tony admitted, trying to keep his voice steady. "The whole thing , down on one knee, the ring ... everything. I saw it. Okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?" His voice went from wavering on the verge of tears to beyond angry.
"Saw... who?"
"Are you playing stupid for a reason?" He snapped
"No, Tony," Natasha said. "I am confused here. Who is getting married?"
"Bucky and Steve."
Natasha swallowed hard. "Jesus."
"I know, right?" Tony asked. He pushed up from the floor, because now he really needed to chase down that other bottle. "I can't believe I ever thought --"
"Whatever you're going to say, stop right now," Natasha said. She was on her feet and had her hand on his shoulder, keeping him from leaving , "because it's going to be wrong. And if you don't say it out loud, you won't have to regret it later."
Oh, he already had regrets. So very many regrets. Letting Bucky get close to him, letting himself believe, that just once, it might be real, that it might be possible...
"Tony, you're not listening," she said. "Please, just go talk to him. I promise, you want to hear what he's got to say."
"Okay, all right," Tony snarled, pulling his arm away.
"Wait, first," Natasha said, getting in front of him and blocking the door, "brush your teeth, fix your hair."
"I don't need to dress up for my execution, Itsy Bitsy," Tony said. But Nat just glared at him and it was easier to humor her. Also, she was still perfectly capable of breaking his arm if he pissed her off too much. He wasn't that careless.
——
Bucky was exhausted; he'd gone twenty minutes with several of the super-soldier sandbags, ruptured one after the other until Steve finally tried to force him into the showers, and possibly sleep.
Bucky had cleaned up, but there was no way sleep was a thing, even if he had someplace to sleep, which he didn't. There was no way he was going to let any of the other Avengers see him sacked out on the sofa in the common room, and despite Steve's offer, he didn't want to have to pretend to sleep on Steve's couch. Because he wouldn't sleep and then Steve would know about it, and the argument would just go on.
So he was on the roof,just watching the world go by. It hadn't changed much since the war- there were still masses of people every, thousands of light and buildings - and the city never seemed to sleep. Some thing never change- and maybe that's what he needed right now- a reminder that something change- and others don't. Yet it didn't really help.
It still didn't help, except he didn't know what else to do.
He wasn't entirely surprised when Tony found him up there; the sun still just creeping along the streets, early morning fog lifting. Tony looked miserable; his face was pale, lips gray, eyes dark and heavy. He'd taken some care with his hair, and he smelled a little like soap and toothpaste. He leaned against the wall near where Bucky was sitting and kicked his foot up, balancing on the other leg. If he looked at Bucky, there was no way to tell; he was wearing dark sunglasses. "Natasha said you wanted to talk to me."
"Do we need Tash running messages for us like we're in grade school?" Bucky said,. "Is that what we're doing?"
"Apparently," Tony said.
"Bruce said you were pretty upset last night," Bucky ventured. "I didn't... I didn't think you'd react like that, you know."
Tony dropped his shades down his nose a little, studying Bucky over the rims. "How did you expect me to react? You want me to be happy?"
"I guess not," Bucky said. He reached into his pocket. He still had the little box and he tumbled it around in his hand a bit. "Stupid of me. Thought... nevermind what I thought. Thinking's not my job. You don't want it? you don't want it! Throw it off the side of the building and we'll never talk about it again."
Tony didn't like to be handed things. Bucky sighed, looked down at the box and let it slide out of his hand. It rattled with it hit the cement, rolled over and popped open, spilling the ring out. It glittered there, in the faint sunlight.
"I just want you to know, Tony," Bucky said. Reaching out to him, right at that very moment, might have been the hardest thing Bucky ever did. He was so scared that Tony was about to drop him, just the way he'd been dropped by Steve, and that had been an accident... and this would be on purpose. "I don't need to be your husband to love you. I just... wanted it."
Tony didn't say anything; he just stared, then twisted into a squat to pick the ring up off the ground. He turned the gold band in his fingers, looking at it, then his breath caught.
reading the inscription on the inside of the ring it read in Russian, ' your heart shines bright, And in the darkness, bind them.' He turned, very slowly, hands shaking. "You didn't buy this for Steve Rogers."
What?
"What? Tony, no," Bucky said, confused. "What the hell did you --"
"You bought this for me," Tony said, his voice low, choking.
"Of course I bought it for you," Bucky snapped, waving his hands around. "Who else would I want to marry?"
"I saw you," Tony said, and he was shaking so hard now that Bucky actually put a hand out to steady him.
Oh. Oh.
"You saw me practicing," Bucky said, his voice equally unsteady. "An' you thought... you thought I was ... On Steve?"
Okay, seriously, just no. Why did everyone want to pair him up with Steve? Christ, he loved the guy, but he was just... no. No! They were best friends, they were comrades in the army, they were brothers. And Steven G. Rogers was a pain in the ass.
"You want to marry me?"
"Yes." Bucky thought about that for a second, then frowned. "Give me that back."
"No," Tony said, looking down at the ring greedily. "No takebacks."
"I ain't tellin' people you didn't let me propose to you ," Bucky said. Tony rather reluctantly handed the ring back. Bucky dusted it off, collected the box, then dropped down to one knee in front of Tony.
And, being Tony, he did a little flutter, ending with his hands clasped together next to one cheek. "For me?" He mocked.
Bucky barely restrained himself from rolling his eyes. "Anthony," he said, "I'd be very pleased if you --"
"Yes."
"-- would do me --"
"Yes!" Tony smirked. "I will absolutely 'do you.'"
"-- the honour(!) of becoming my husband."
Tony pursed his lips his boiling. Expression wiped from his face. "I'll have to think about it."
And before Bucky had any time at all to make a face, to be disappointed, or even become exasperated. Tony grabbed Bucky's wrist and hauled him to his feet. "Yes, yes, yes. I will. I want to. Yes. Absolutely."
Bucky managed to pry the ring out of Tony's hands (again!) long enough to get it on his hand, where it was supposed to be before Tony finally pushed him against the wall and kissed him.
", I can't believe you thought I would propose to Steve," Bucky mucked . "Why would I want Steve when I have you?"
Bucky would never have said he was the brains of the relationship , but he knew exactly when he'd said the right thing. Tony lit up. With surprising gentleness, he leaned into Bucky's kiss again, his mouth pressed, hot and soft, against Bucky's lip. "I love you," Tony said.
Bucky grinned, shrugged, tipped Tony a wink. "I know."
For just a second, Tony gaped at him. "Oh, good, good.A Star Wars reference? In a proposal. You are such a nerd. Kiss me again."
"As you wish."
———
An
I can't believe this book has gotten over 5k views!! I honestly never thought a pas of story's that I had written for fun could be so popular- and I just wanted to say it means the world to me!!
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