"Looks like you got another Sunday roast to finish. I saw what happened from here." Tiana told you as she removes her gardening gloves
You sighed and rubbed your face. "Yeah, guess I give out some kinda odour to attract those assholes like flies."
Tiana shook her head. "That's what ya get for being a damn bottom." You showed her your middle finger.
Then, you told her everything that has happened. From the death of your phone battery, to Vasilios's amazing voice acting, to his multiple meltdowns and finally to Thor's birthday. You only earned a sympathetic nod from Tiana.
"Oh yeah, turns out Vassy ain't only swinging in one direction." You raised an eyebrow.
"As long as whoever that person is a bottom, he'll bang. Guy, girl, both or none, if their resume fits his criteria, boom. You're hired."
"Huh, guess Harlowe's right. He really is a public dildo." You snickered.
"But get this, most of the dudes he banged didn't really like him. Yes, they loved his skill in bed and his 'sexy dominance', but they didn't like that he forced them to crossdress and act like a woman sometimes." You grimace at Tiana's information.
"Hey, that ain't cool. Wait, so that means they left him on their own?" Tiana covered her mouth.
"Umm, some yeah. Some nope. Accordin' to those who broke up with him, Vasilios just rolled his eyes, ghosted them and blocked them from all forms of contact. It's like, he literally disappeared from the face of the earth."
"Damn."
"And for those who tried to rekindle what 'they had' between Vassy or tried to be his friend after the breakup was slapped with a restraining order. This applies to all his exes, by the way." You knitted your eyebrows.
"...so all his umm... old flames were slapped with a restraining order?" Tiana nodded.
"Nah, only those who wave hello to him after breaking up, his body count is so high that its probably in the hundreds or something, I dunno." Tiana licked her dry lips before continuing.
"I heard from a buddy of mine, she was an ex and tried to say hi to Vassy in the mall's parking lot. He ignored her and like zoomed off. The next day, she received a restraining order from him in her mailbox."
"That bad?"
"Yep, guy's a prick." You scratched your head.
"Brandy found (f/n) yet?"
"Nope, but he did send a guy on the case."
"Who?" You asked.
"The guy who you sucker-punched him so hard that a tooth came flying out." You grimaced and hissed in embarrassment.
"Oogh, right. Lizard T-boy. Why is he helpin' me out after that, though?"
"He wanted his 'great, greater, greatest grandma's' music box back. Brandy promised that you'll get it back for him after this snitching thing is resolved." You nodded your head and smacked your lips bitterly.
"Right, his music box. How is he now, though?"
"We don't know either, we tried calling a few of his phone numbers but he ain't picking-"
"Weed chick!" Both of you turned around to see a heavily injured Lizard stumbling into the farm. His clothes were ripped and drenched in blood, his face was swollen and bruised.
"Lizard!" You exclaimed.
"What the hell happened to you!?" Tiana rushed to him.
"Dudette, I don't even know how I got here. All I know is that my brand new gun ran outta ammo and my wallet went bust. Gimme some beer, my whole body hurts and I wanna numb this shit." Lizard turned his head to you.
"I ain't givin' no locations unless you give my music box back." He pointed at you.
"I don't have it!" You replied.
"Well, weed girl. Then I don't have (f/n)'s location either!" He snarled. "I didn't go through so much shit just to have no payment, man!"
"Oh, come on..." you pulled on your hair. You were so close to ending this once and for all!
"Hey, continue yer bickering later. This guy right here is dying." Tiana slung his arm over her shoulder and lead him to Brandy's office, leaving a trail of bloody footsteps on the floor.
"Wait... where's Brandy and Harlowe-"
"Holy shit, where did Lizard go!?"
Brandy burst into the farm followed by a furious looking Harlowe.
"Yeah, where did that bitch go? I'm gonna teach him a lesson for interruptin' my sleep!" She cracked her knuckles.
"Hey cool it, he's probably dyin' from an infection or blood loss." You pointed at the bloody trail leading to Brandy's office.
Harlowe squinted at it and marched towards the office. "Hey, wait a minute Harlowe, what are ya gonna do?!"
"Beat the crap outta him, of course!" As soon as she steps foot into the office, Lizard releases an ear-piercing scream.
"Crap!" He shrieked as he pulled out a metallic piece from his pocket.
"Harlowe! Watch out-" you pushed her to the side as Lizard pulled on the trigger, sending a flying bullet to your direction.
"Agh!"
It collided with the left side of your lower torso. You were thrown back due to the tremendous force of the bullet.
"(Y/n)!" Harlowe shouted.
Well, it was certainly a miracle.
Or a freaky coincidence.
You panted and wheezed, sweating out whole rivers and trembling like a leaf. Your shaky hand reached out to touch the area where the bullet was lodged in. There's no blood! You weren't shot, so what saved you?
Then you remember, you're still wearing Vasilios's jacket and the clothes he gave you.
"Argh! Sorry, weed girl!" Lizard yelled from his seat.
"I thought you said this shit's empty!?" Tiana shouted in his ear.
"Yeah! I thought it was empty too! I pulled it out, tryna' intimidate that Harvard chick there!" Lizard pointed his gun at Harlowe.
"It's Harlowe!" She yelled back.
You snapped out of your shock and quickly unzipped the jacket. You examined the part with the bullet hole.
You got back up to your feet and ripped the section open with your bare hands, surprised to see a somewhat thick metal disk embedded in it. The bullet made a deep dent and it was stuck in it.
You brushed away the extra cotton from the torn jacket and examined the peculiar item.
There's a small, LED on the edge. Flickering red lights on and off.
Looks like the bullet damaged it.
"What's this?" You brought it up and showed it to Brandy. He looked at it with wide eyes.
"I... damn, how did he get this? This is a tracking puck, I use this to track my weed bulk in case they get stolen or mysteriously 'missing' overnight." Brandy took it from your hand and flipped it over.
"Yep. Same model too. Looks like loverboy has been trackin ya."
"What!?"
"Chances are, he probably knows yer here cause you like... found out about it when Lizard shot you." Tiana continued for Brandy.
"Crap!" You clutched your head.
"What do I do!? I don't have the music box with me, (f/n)'s gonna snitch and I'm being tracked! Brandy!" You grabbed his shoulders and shook him back and forth vigorously.
"Calm down! Calm down! If you want my advice, I'd say get the hell back to your boyfriend's home, trick him a bit, snatch the music box and then ask Harlowe to help you escape him!" Brandy pulled your hands away from him.
"Easier said than done!" You responded. It earned a shrug from him.
"Well, that's my idea. Feel free to ask the rest of them." He gestured towards Harlowe, Tiana and a very, heavily injured Lizard.
"Harlowe?" You turned to her.
"I'd say we beat the crap outta him." You winced at her suggestion and turned to Tiana.
"Tiana?"
"Beats me, I dunno what's the extent of this but if I were you, I'd come clean to Vasilios, explainin' how (f/n) is blackmailing you into doing this shit and you don't really love him." You bit on your thumb, that's definitely not a good idea.
Then finally, "Lizard?"
He sighed and snorted. "The things I do to hear that groovy tune again... okay bros, I have a dumb idea."
"How dumb?"
"Like, super. Dude."
______________________________________________
A/n:
Lizard in this whole chapter:
Harlowe to Lizard: