Riker's muscular arms keep a tight hold on my waist as I rest my head against his pillow. My blue eyes are tired and drained as they stare up at the tv screen. I'm not really paying attention to the random sitcom that is trying to keep us entertained, all my thoughts can focus on is how broken and empty I feel inside.
I feel betrayed by my own family, who I haven't spoken to in three days. I haven't been able to get out of Riker's bed, my limbs feel numb. I can barely function.
My hair is in a messy bun and one of Riker's lacrosse hoodies is covering my body. It's pretty baggy on me, so it's very comfortable. I haven't had the energy to get dressed or put on makeup. All I want to do is lie in this bed and sob for hours.
A low chuckle comes out of Riker's mouth, which causes me to snap back into focus. His fingertips automatically find my hair. "That's hilarious."
"Huh?" I mumble.
"The show." He clears his throat and glances down at me. "I hate seeing you like this, Dolan."
"Like what?" I play dumb, which I seem to be doing a lot of lately.
"All sad and mopey. I haven't seen you crack one smile since you started crashing here." He places his large hand on my cheek and moves my head up. My eyes automatically look into his as I sigh. "What's going on?"
I have barely spoken two words since my arrival here. I don't know what to say, especially to Riker and Theo. They keep asking me random things, like if I want breakfast or my laundry cleaned. They get the sense that something is wrong, but have been too nervous to speak up and ask.
Jesse and I haven't really spoken since the incident at my house. He hasn't been home, and usually heads to the beach whenever I'm around. He's avoiding me for whatever reason.
I get he implied that he didn't want me to stay with them, but he never specified why. My life gets more confusing every single day.
"Dolan." Riker lowly whispers, never taking his eyes off mine.
"I got into a fight with my parents, I don't want to see them right now." I inhale a breath and look back at the tv screen.
"What was it about? It's clearly really bad if you're skipping class." He shakes his head in disapproval of my actions. I didn't attend class yesterday or today.
"The semester is almost over, you know that. I already wrote all of my essays." I defend myself.
"It's still not very Grace Dolan of you." He teases.
"Well, maybe I don't want to be Grace Dolan anymore." I say with a low whisper, meaning the words.
"Don't say that, I happen to like Grace Dolan. A lot, actually. She's sexy, and badass." His grin turns into a smirk as his grip tightens around my waist.
Those words don't seem to describe me anymore. I'm not sexy or badass. I'm a sad, lonely mess whose life is falling apart.
"Why didn't you go to class?" I shift the topic of conversation.
"Cause why would I do that when you're here?" He says matter-of-factly, almost like the question was a no-brainer.
"I'm not much fun, I've been lying in your bed the past three days." I turn on my side to face him.
"You act like that's such a problem." The smooth texture of his fingertips run along my jawline in a gentle caress.
I stay quiet, simply allowing my vision to take in his features. We stare at each other in blissful silence for a moment, and my nerves begin to go crazy.
"Have you talked to Cameron?" His low voice asks.
"Cameron hates me." The words slip out so easily, it makes my stomach sick.
"What? No he doesn't." Riker laughs.
"Yeah, he sort of does." I sigh and break away from our stare. Rubbing my lips together, I inhale a deep breath.
My mind often flashes back to the intense kiss we shared in his room the other night. Coming to terms with my feelings for Cameron has been hard. I don't gravitate toward relationships, which is what he wants and deserves.
I'm terrified to really make a move with him, because if it doesn't work out, we'll never be the same again. I'll lose my best friend forever. Even though I kind of already did. It's better off to remain friends, no matter how much he fills my brain.
"Why would he hate you?" Riker furrows his eyebrows.
"My life's falling apart, Sinclair." I look up at his ceiling, placing my hands on my stomach.
"I would try to help, but you keep shutting me out." He sighs.
"I don't mean to it's just-"
"Complicated?" He tries to guess.
"Extremely complicated." I laugh at my crumbling life. "That word is an understatement."
"Well, talk to me about it." He peers down at me with hopeful eyes.
"I'd rather not talk at all." I mutter, casually shrugging my shoulders.
"I'm totally down with not talking." He smirks and inches his face closer to mine. A low smile forms on my lips as his hands slide down to my hips.
I hook my arms around his neck and press my forehead against his. The smell of his aftershave is taking over all of my senses. Without overthinking, I crash my lips against his. Riker's kiss is addictive and filled with hunger.
He threads his fingers through my hair as I swing my legs around his torso. His hand runs over my shirt, ultimately cupping over my bra. He gives it a light squeeze and I can't help but moan. I run my fingers through his hair and pull onto it. He lets out a satisfied groan.
My breath hitches as I feel a pit forming in my stomach. Nerves begin to grow as I lightly push on his chest. He quicklys rips his mouth away from mine.
"You okay?" He furrows his eyebrows.
"Yeah. I, uh, just need to use the bathroom." I sigh and sit up.
"Okay." He stares at me with an unconvinced facial expression.
Nervously gulping, I exit his bedroom and shut the door behind me. I place a hand on my forehead, feeling light headed all of a sudden. My eyes shift to Jesse's bedroom door, that is left open. I walk toward it and slowly enter his room.
The surfboards on his walls are more familiar than ever. I invade his personal space by running my callouses along his wooden dresser.
I take a seat on his bed and glance around his room. There's a picture of him, Riker and Theo on his night stand. They're on the beach, shirtless, and sticking their tongues out.
Jesse is in the middle of them. Riker and Theo hold their surfboards under their arms. I can't help but notice how impersonal his room actually is. There aren't any other pictures besides that one.
I can't believe he's my cousin. The shock will most likely never wear off. I want to know every detail about his life. Did Ethan teach him how to surf? Does he have any other old photographs of his dad? Is my dad in any? What was his childhood like? How did his parents meet?
It seems like I never get the opportunity to really pick his brain. He can't just reveal that we're related and then shut me out.
"Grace?" Riker's voice calls from the hallway. Shit, he thinks I'm in the bathroom.
I panic and rise to my feet, not knowing what to do. His footsteps get closer, until he enters Jesse's bedroom. His eyes widen when he sees me standing in the middle of it. "What are you doing in here?"
"I was just, um.." I look back at his drawer. "Looking for a condom."
"A condom?" His eyebrows raise.
"Weren't they in here last time?" I nervously gulp.
"Now the box is in Theo's room." He points toward the hallway.
"Oh, gotcha." I make awkward eye contact with him.
"So, do you want me to get one?" He tilts his head, eyeing me up and down.
"Sure, if you want." I quickly nod.
"No, if you want. Do you want to have sex?" He gulps, almost like he's nervous to ask such a question. His cheeks lightly flush.
Normally I would never pass up the opportunity, but right now I'm not in the right headspace. I'm standing in the middle of my cousins room like a deer in headlights. I'm about to break down at any moment.
"No." I choke out.
"Wait, what? I'm confused. You're raiding Jesse's room looking for a condom but don't want me to get one?" He seems taken back by my random lie.
"I'm sorry, Riker. Everything is so screwed up lately." I bury my face in my hands and feel tears pricking my eyes.
"Hey, it's okay." I feel his arms wrap around me in a tight embrace. "Can you tell me what's going on? I'm worried about you."
"My parents have been lying to me my entire life. I can't trust them anymore." Tears stream down my cheeks as I bury my face in his chest.
"What do you mean?" I hear him whisper.
I want to tell him that Jesse is my cousin, but I can't bring myself to say the words to him. "They're keeping a lot of secrets from me."
"Like what?" He's still not understanding.
"Things about my family and my childhood." I briefly answer.
"Did you catch them in a lie?"
"Yeah, a huge one. My entire world just shifted on its axis."
"Have you tried talking to them?" He rubs my back in small circles. My body tingles at his touch.
"I don't want to see them, I honestly don't know what to say." I admit.
"What about Cameron? Does he know what's going on?" He pulls away from our hug to look me in the eyes.
"Kind of, it's really complicated right now. He doesn't want to speak to me." I sigh.
"Why? Did you do something?"
Of course I did something. I ruined my entire friendship with him because of my confused feelings. I have no idea what to say to that.
"He's just mad at me right now, forget it." I mumble, wiping a few tears away from my eyes.
"I don't want you to be upset." He cups my cheek and looks down at me.
"I just wish my parents would be honest with me. They've been keeping so much a secret, and I'm sick of it. I deserve answers."
"Is there a way to get them? Find out what they've been hiding?"
I think for a moment, my brain scrambling to find an answer. I automatically think back to the metal safe in the back of my parents closet. "Well, I found a safe in their closet."
"A safe?" He questions.
"Yeah, it was hidden in the back. I never knew it was there. I tried to open it, but there's a lock."
"Did I ever tell you that my hidden talent is picking locks?" A smooth smirk hugs his lips.
"You think you could get it open?" I blink a few times, making sure I heard him correctly.
"Of course I could. We just need to head over to your house and get it." He casually tells me.
"Like, break in?" My stomach turns.
"Well, it's not breaking in if you have a key. Is anyone home now?"
"No, my sister is at school and my parents and Duke should be at work." I bite down on my lower lip.
"Then we can go and get it now." He nods.
"What about the security camera?" I groan.
"Is there one in the back of the house?"
"No." I shake my head.
"We can drive to the block behind yours and sneak in from the back." He sends me a wicked smile.
"That's insane, I can't break into my own house." I cross my arms over my chest.
"It's not insane if you want answers." He convinces me.
I pause for a moment, thinking the situation over in my head. "I guess you're right. It just feels weird."
"We'll take the safe and bring it back here. I'll open it and we'll finally see what's inside. You deserve answers, Dolan."
I gulp, knowing he's right. Instead of waiting around for answers, I need to go out and get them myself. If my parents don't want to take the easy route, I'll play a game of hardball with them.
"Okay, fine." I confidently nod and look into his eyes. "Let's go."
-
do you guys think grace is ready for some answers? 😬