"The most we can do is to allow people we love most to see us at our worst. At our lowest. At our weakest. True intimacy happens when nothing is perfect." -Amy Harmon
----------------> "I LOVE HIM," Rose repeated with a soft smile and flushed cheeks. "God, it's weird and crazy and I am pretty sure that I have Stockholm syndrome; but when has love ever made sense? Nagini, I love him. I really, really love him."
Nagini stayed silent as she watched Rose get a starry-eyed look in her eyes.
"I don't even know why I love him." Rose continued. "But I know I just do. And I do, I really do."
"You know he's a murderer," Nagini repeated once again slowly. "Rose, you know that the Dark Lord has done unspeakable horrors and he will continue to do so."
Rose smiled. "That oddly enough doesn't bother me. Whatever he has been or has done in the past is something that I do not want to hear about. It doesn't concern me, and I was not there. I love what I see now and that is all that matters. To me, he has been a complete sweetheart. After all, Shakespeare said, 'Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind'." She paused before speaking again, this time hesitantly. "Do you- do you think he likes me back?"
"No.," Nagini said shortly, refusing to look up and meet her eyes.
"Why?" Rose questioned, lightly frowning her eyebrows. "Did I - did I do something wrong?"
"It's not you," Nagini reassured her. "He just can't love, Rose, at least not properly..."
Rose frowned her eyebrows in confusion. "What do you mean he can't love 'properly'?" she asked with a nervous laugh.
"He... He was born under the effects of a love potion. Those born under the effects of a love potion cannot love." Nagini confessed.
Rose let out a shocked strangled gasp.
"That's not possible." She said in denial. "Everybody can love. Love is an emotion. It's not something that somebody can be deprived of. It's impossible."
"You thought magic was impossible a few months ago." Nagini pointed out. "Rose, I like you. I care for you. I don't want to see you get hurt. He cannot love, Rose. Maybe he will be possessive of you, or perhaps addicted to your presence, or even feel comfortable and extremely happy whenever you are around or whenever he thinks of you... But know that he will never be able to reciprocate your feelings."
Rose did not reply, choosing instead to blankly stare at the wall.
"What did you expect?" Nagini hissed, slithering close to Rose's warm body. "A confession back? Marriage? Kids? A manor with white picket fences? This is the Master, Rose. The Dark Lord. He. Cannot. Love."
Rose's face broke out into a sad smile. "You've made that explicitly clear, Nagini. I get it. He can't love. But somehow, that fact doesn't scare me. Rather, it gives me motivation."
If Nagini could raise an eyebrow, she definitely would have. "What do you mean?" Nagini asked her wearily.
Rose stood up with a determined look on her beautiful face.
"Dad- Uncle Vernon- always encouraged me to try everything before I declared it to be impossible. You never know till you try, right? Besides, we are soul-mates, aren't we? It's not like he can just kill me." Rose replied with a bittersweet laugh at the end.
Nagini raised her head looking thoroughly confused, "I don't understand."
"Nothing much, really. I'm just going to romance the living hell out of him." She explained sweetly with a determined smile.
------> 0o0 <------
She abruptly walked in front of him before stopping and meeting his cold eyes.
"Marvolo, would you mind giving me a map," She winked to the Devil himself, "to your heart?"
He glanced at her for a second with confused eyes before walking around her and continuing down the hall of his Manor. Rose quickly turned and ran to walk beside him.
"I'm sorry, but it's just that I get a little lost," She explained before winking at him once again, "in your eyes."
He grabbed her arm roughly.
"Stop it, Rosalie." He said looking at her cooly.
He never called her Rosalie.
"You are behaving stranger than usual. Why is that? Be honest." Marvolo said in a firm tone.
And Rose being Rose blurted out the first thought that crossed her mind. "I love you." She said, blushing deeply all the way to the roots of her hair.
Marvolo looked at her as if this was the first time he had seen her. "Pardon?" He asked, confused.
"I-I love you," Rose repeated, more confidently this time. "I don't know why, when or how but I know I do. And-And I know it's crazy and I'm scared but I do, Marvolo. I really do love you. I-I love the way you always must have a proper English breakfast and the way you always make snide comments saying I eat too much sugar, but you always take all the caramels from the chocolate boxes that Aunt Cissa gifts me because you have a secretly huge sweet tooth and you absolutely love caramel. I love how you are ambitious and motivated and intelligent in ways people can only dream of being. I love how you eat my very, very tasteless and disgusting-tasting food, even though you know how horrible it is. I love -secretly, but not anymore, I guess- how much you cared that I was threatened by someone. I love how you took care of me when I was sick. I love the spark in your eyes when you answer any questions I have. You'd be a great teacher, you know? I love all the little things you do- the way you tilt your head slightly when you are reading a book you find really interesting or the way you subconsciously lean forward whenever you're excited. I love everything about you. I love you."
Marvolo looked deep into her eyes before laughing.
And every note that his laughter musically hit was like a knife punching into her skin, slowly and painfully.
Once Marvolo's full-blown laughter had been reduced to amused chuckles, he stalked around her in circles, much like a predator does to its prey.
"You love me? So what? Do you really think you mean anything to me? That your love means anything to me?" he asked cruelly with a frigid cold laugh. "No, it does not. I don't love, Rosalie. Let alone do I love you. You cannot change that. Did you expect me to confess my non-existent love to you so we can walk into the sunset and live happily ever after?" he mocked.
Her face was downcast. Her hair covering the sides of her face like a silk curtain. He scoffed at her before turning around to continue walking.
"I don't need to be anything to you." She said quietly. He still heard her. "I just need my life to mean more to you than my death."
He pauses in his steps, still looking straight ahead.
"Well, it does, but not in the way you think it does." He said. His voice, frigid. "You are my Horcrux, and so your life is important for me. For that reason and for that reason alone will your presence mean something to me."
Rose gave him a weary smile. "Your mouth says no, but your body language says different."
He turned ninety degrees so that he was now facing her. "My 'body language' says that you are being delusional."
Her lips quivered, her eyes broke and her smile shattered. "No!" She yelled loudly. Hysterically. Desperately, as a lone tear escaped her misted green eyes. "I need to know, Marvolo. I need to know the truth."
"This is the truth! What is so hard for you to understand!" He exclaimed loudly. "Salazar! I don't love you, Rose. Get that inside your mind. I. do. not. like. you. Stop convincing yourself otherwise. It's not like I can anyway."
"You can!" Rose screamed, lips trembling. "You can love, Marvolo. Love is a quality. It cannot be just taken away. You can love. You just need to actually open your eyes and see."
"No.," Marvolo said sternly. "I don't know where you heard that, but you are wrong."
"You haven't tried hard enough-"
"I haven't tried? I haven't tried!" Marvolo laughed bitterly. "On the contrary, I have tried too much. I have searched every single book hoping to be proven false, but no! Stop being so utterly ridiculous."
"Have you ever thought that it's not written in the books because love can be expressed in different ways, in different forms?" Rose questioned.
"You sound like Albus Dumbledore," Marvolo said dryly.
"Then have you ever thought that he might be right?" Rose asked, stepping close to him.
Marvolo looked at her with a cold glare in reply. "It's late. Go to sleep."
Rose shook her head, taking another step forward. "You're always there for me. You protect me. You teach me. You took care of me. You must at least minutely love me, right?"
"No." Marvolo firmly. "Have you ever considered that I took all that trouble for you because you are my Horcrux?"
"Well no, but-"
"Then consider it." Marvolo interrupted.
"That's another thing." Rose began. "I have your soul within me. We are literally soul-mates!"
Marvolo's words died in his mouth at her reply. He hadn't actually considered it that way.
"I heard about the prophecy from Master Snape, at least a part of it. I'm the only person who can kill you, and I don't want to, and we both know that you won't kill me." Rose continued slowly. "We are soul mates, Marvolo. We are destined for each other."
"No.," Marvolo said again. "You are being delusional." He repeated.
"Maybe I am," Rose admitted, another tear escaping her eyes as she gave him another weary smile. "But I need to know how you feel- how you actually, honestly feel. I need to know Marvolo. Forgive me for doing this, but Legilimency!" she shouted. She didn't have her wand and she had only been briefly taught the mind arts by Aunt Bellatrix a few days ago with promises of exploring it later. But she was making eye-contact with Marvolo, so she took her chance and willed all her power into the spell- only to be blocked immediately by his strong mental barriers.
All of a sudden, someone had gripped her wrists tightly.
"Don't EVER try to get inside my head again," He snarled, immediately slamming her against the wall.
For several beats they stayed there, -staring at each other-, his grip crushing her wrists.
Finally, his icy eyes softened.
"My mind is a dark place, Rose. You don't want to be there." He said softly.
He was calling her Rose again.
They kept looking at each other- green meeting blue.
His blue eyes held more darkness than any brown eyes she had ever seen before.
The grandfather clock a few meters away struck twelve, breaking the moment by chiming loudly. The only other noise was the light pitter-patter of the raindrops outside.
"We should sleep," Rose said finally, still pressed up against the stone wall with him holding her wrists.
"I don't sleep," Marvolo admitted quietly. "My mind has the scary capability of being dark and demented."
"You are afraid of your dreams?" Rose asked softly.
"Yes." He answered quietly.
Later, he would wonder what exactly made him admit such a thing and show so much vulnerability and weakness to Rose of all people. But right now he was content to just staring into her eyes, looking for signs of deceit and falsehood.
Rose brought her hand up to his cheek and lightly kept It on his cheeks, her eyes softened and filled with an emotion Marvolo couldn't recognise.
"Don't trust them," Rose told him softly. "Don't trust your dreams or your nightmares. Instead, paint your own reality."
His handsome face twisted into a bitter smile. "Why do you care?"
"As hard as it is to believe, I love you, Marvolo. So of course I bloody care!" she screamed before her voice cracked. "I can't –won't give up on you. So please don't give up on yourself."
He looked at her sincere eyes. She had always been an open book, but until now, he had been illiterate. And she didn't know that that stupid little conversation meant so much more to him than she could ever think. She chased away his demons with stars in her eyes.
So he kissed her.
He kissed her without warning, without permission. Without even deciding to do it, but simply because he couldn't have done anything else. He needed that breath she was holding. It belonged to him and he wanted it back.
He gradually but reluctantly released her lips.
Both of them did not know what to say, and quietness descended upon them. It was easier -so much easier- to pretend that the kiss didn't happen, and both of them were too tired and neither of them knew how to deal with the consequences of the unexpected kiss that was this time initiated by Marvolo. Sometimes, it was better to pretend that some things did not happen.
A blanket of silence eloped them.
"You said you love me," Marvolo said softly after a few minutes. "Why?"
"There is no proper reason, and there shouldn't have to be. When you love someone, you'll just know it." Rose replied softly before her lips curled upwards and a bitter sad expression took over her face. "You don't love me, do you Marvolo?"
"No." He replied shortly, after six slow and painful seconds.
But in his hesitation, she had found her answer.
Rose let out a tired sigh before smiling wearily and meeting his face, "Look, if you're going to break my heart, can we do it outside?"
"It's raining." He replied pointedly, still looking into her eyes.
She looked at him weirdly, "That's the point, Marvolo. That way I can go all-in on my melodramatic movie moment just like they show in the telly."
He laughed beautifully, breaking the tense atmosphere because that sounded like such a Rose thing to say.
"You need to smile more," Rose said softly as his laughter receded, her hand still holding his cheek. "Not your evil smile, sarcastic smile or even your amused smile. Just a happy smile, like mine."
Marvolo raised an eyebrow. "Like yours?" He teased.
"Exactly like mine," Rose replied, removing her hand from his cheek. He felt odd at the lack of warmth.
This is exactly what he loved- enjoyed, he meant enjoyed. This is exactly what he enjoyed about their... unique relationship. One moment they could be confessing their undying love for each other or announcing death threats and the next moment they were laughing and teasing.
"I smile a lot, so I'm pretty sure I can influence you to do so as well," Rose said smartly.
"Really? And how do you plan on doing so?" Marvolo asked pointedly.
Rose shrugged. "I don't remember when or which, but I'm sure I read about a study which showed that smiles are actually contagious."
"Then I guess it's a good thing that I am vaccinated," Marvolo smirked.
Rose smiled but said nothing.
The clock chimed again. It was 12:30 in the morning.
"I have to go to sleep," Rose said quietly.
"You are free to do so. What's stopping you?" Marvolo asked.
In reply, Rose looked pointedly to their intertwined hands, where his right hand was still holding her left. He released it immediately as if it were on fire.
"Thanks," Rose said as she smiled again slowly. "I- I have to go now. I'll see you in the morning. G- Good night." She said hurriedly and without waiting for his reply, she ran down the corridor, up the stairs and into her room.
------> 0o0 <------
"What did you do?" An angry Nagini hissed as she barged into his study.
It was 1:47 am and he was still not asleep, choosing to do some paperwork instead.
"I have no idea what you mean," Marvolo replied, confused.
"Rose came into her room crying. She has been shedding sweat from her eyes non-stop, no matter what I tell her. You are my Master and I respect you, but what did you do to her?" Nagini hissed angrily.
Marvolo sighed. "I simply told her that I cannot love her, and she should simply give up clenching on to the hope that I would."
"She knows that!" Nagini snapped. "I told her, but you of all two-leggers know how stubborn she is. She even has this stupid theory about your disability to love being all wrong. Something about blind belief and quality and emotion, I forgot." Nagini took a few seconds to calm down. "Master, whether or not you choose to reciprocate her obvious feelings is between both of you. But since you made her cry -directly or indirectly- it is best if you comfort her. I have already tried, nothing I do works. Perhaps you will have better luck in that."
Marvolo stayed quiet. His Horcrux was upset. No. Rose. Rose was upset.
"I don't know what to do," Marvolo admitted after a while. "I am used to making people cry, Nagini, not comforting them."
"It's easy," Nagini said. "Why don't you start with a hug?"
"With what?" Marvolo asked, bewildered.
------> 0o0 <------
And that's how Marvolo Slytherin found himself taking a deep breath before knocking on the wooden door of Rose's bedroom at almost two in the morning.
He heard a soft, "Come in."
He opened the door and was met with the sight of a crying Rose.
Her blonde hair was spread all over her face and her emerald eyes were glistening with yet-to-be-shed tears. Her cheeks were red, wet and puffy and she was slightly hiccoughing. With a big warm blanket wrapped around her petite body, she looked precisely like an adorable little puppy who had been kicked.
She looked up to meet his eyes. The confusion was written all over her face.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice slightly hoarse from all the crying.
"I would like to join you in acknowledging the difficulties of your life." He said smoothly.
She let out a laugh, "You are the WORST at this comfort thing." She said before patting a spot next to hers invitingly, "C'mon. Keep talking. I like the sound of your voice and your heartbeat calms me down."
So he joined her. He just held her, as she quietly leaned against his form.
"I'm sorry," Rose said after a while, breaking the silence. "It was wrong of me to force you to.. well, yeah. It's just that I was- No. I shouldn't defend myself. It was wrong of me to do any of the things I did. I'm sorry. Again. I don't know what got into me. I'm sorry."
Marvolo stayed silent, but Rose could feel him nod slightly.
"Will you stay the night with me?" She asked quietly, afraid of his answer.
She was his Horcrux, Marvolo reminded himself. She was crazy, stupid, stubborn, weird, delusional and incredibly naive, but she was his Horcrux.
"Alright." He replied.
And so, they slept beside each other.
She pretended that the smile on her face was not a mask to conceal her sadness and he pretended that the only reason he felt himself becoming... fond of her was the sole reason that she was his Horcrux.
But it was still the best sleep that either of them ever had.
And in the morning if they found themselves spooning and cuddling each other, they both ignored it before continuing with their respective day as usual.
And the next night if Rose came quietly into his bedroom and slept beside him, he once again did not say anything, instead, covered her with half of the blanket and both of them continued to pretend that everything was perfectly fine in the morning.
After all, why wouldn't it be?