Song of the chapter: Tenerife Sea – Ed Sheeran
Emilia's POV
After shoving my notebook inside my backpack for the last time this semester, I go into my bathroom and stand in front of the mirror and stare at the girl who I don't even recognize. If I were to have taken a photo of myself at the beginning of the semester and compare it to what I see now, I would be looking at two different people. The short brunette in the mirror is someone who I'm proud of. She made it. She overcame her struggles and leaped over every hurdle that came her way. It was difficult and there was so much to be learned, but she did it. She became strong and courageous, though she's still a bit anti-social seeing that she still only has five friends, but it's more than what she started out with.
To think this is me now...
Damn.
Not only is my mentality different, but also my physical self. My hair is longer and now reaches past my boobs. I'm pretty sure this is the longest that I've ever had my hair. When I was younger I always kept it shoulder-length because it was easier to handle, but after my parent's death, I just let it grow out. Now, I actually like the way it looks. The natural waves to my hair don't look like shit and it makes it look like I actually put time and effort on it when in reality, all I did was brush it.
I've even lost a little weight too. My shirts fit me even more loosely than they did before and I have to pull up my jeans all the time and it's rather annoying to be honest, but I feel comfortable in my body. I don't know how I even lost weight seeing that all I do is eat and sleep, although, I guess walking around campus burned all those calories over time. And stress. There was plenty of that.
"Emmie?" Ashton walks over and stands behind me, placing his chin on my shoulder. "What are you doing? I know it's the last day of class, but we're going to be late if you keep standing here and you're very meticulous about being on time."
The last class of the semester and I am not prepared at all. I got over most of the cold, flu, or whatever study sickness I had on Sunday thanks to Ashton telling me to stop thinking about school and just rest because I was over-working myself. I only have some congestion now and somehow Ashton is still as healthy as can be and not showing any signs of sickness whatsoever even after kissing me. Damn him and his superhuman immune system.
He was also nice enough to take me to each of my classes for my finals and waited for me just to make sure that I was alright. Even though Michael was there during our history final and promised to look out for me, Ash still waited outside the classroom. He earned himself a good amount of "awesome boyfriend" points, as Julia says, for that.
My trig final was the most difficult and I ended up feeling light-headed because there was too much math. But the great thing about going to a private university is that since there are smaller classes, it doesn't take that long for tests to be graded and I thankfully passed trig—barely, but I passed nonetheless. It'll hurt my GPA a bit, but since I made A's on my other two, that should make up for it.
All that's left is our communications project presentations and I am just now starting to freak out about it.
"Being late one time won't kill me," I say.
Ashton down at me in disbelief. "Really?"
Who am I kidding? "No, it definitely will."
"I know you too well." He smirks and looks back to the mirror. "So why are you just standing here?"
"I thought you knew me? Shouldn't you know the reason for that?" I tease, poking his nose and he narrows his eyes at me and squeezes my sides, making me squeal. "Fine, I'll tell you. I was just thinking about how much I've changed from the beginning of the semester to now. It's weird but I don't even remember what I looked like back then and it was just a few months ago."
"I remember," he says and pulls his phone from his pocket. He scrolls through the camera roll until settling on a single picture and showing it to me. My hair was up in the ponytail that I always wore (and still like to wear occasionally), I was expressionless yet I somehow looked pissed off at the world and extremely bland. "I took this photo when we first started hanging out. I like to look at it every once in a while just to see the progression that you've made."
"How many 'sneak' photos do you have of me?" I ask.
"Enough," he says, smiling from ear to ear.
I probably shouldn't say anything because I have quite a bit on my phone of him as well. "So what do you think of my 'progression?'"
He keeps his eyes locked on me, not once glancing down to the phone in his hand. "You're still the same person, but compared to the girl in that photo, you're happy."
I grin at his words and bashfully lower my head. I am happy. So, so happy. I don't ever want to go back to being the introverted girl who only spoke to one person. I don't ever want to go back to living in solitude and building walls that are too high for me to even climb. I don't ever want to go back to being trapped in my past. I don't ever want to go back to being that.
"You probably should have saved that line for when you present me to the class," I say, tucking my hair behind my ear.
He hums against my shoulder and wraps his arm loosely around my waist. "Nah," he declines my suggestion and smiles. "I think I have more than enough to say about you."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah," he says, detaching himself from me. "But you're never gonna hear it if we don't go to class, so hurry up." He pats my shoulders and then leaves the bathroom nonchalantly.
I look at my reflection one more time before grabbing the black elastic hair tie on the counter and pulling it over my wrist. When Ashton and I go downstairs and to his car, the canvas covered with the black sheet occupies the backseat. I ask him what it was, but he keeps silent with a smug grin playing on his face.
After getting to school and receiving odd glances from the other students who were watching as Ashton replaces my hand with the large canvas and carries it all the way to the lecture hall, we go to sit in our usual seats and join in on the whole, 'talk until the professor gets here and when he does, we're going to keep talking anyway,' phenomenon.
With everyone talking around us, I can barely keep my thoughts together. I still have no idea how the hell I'm going to present Ashton to the class and I'm honestly hoping that I'll be able to come up with something because even though I may know his traits, it's hard to describe them in a way that makes him sound interesting and not just like the average guy. However, what's making me even more anxious is the canvas leaning against the seat next to him. Not knowing what's underneath it is driving me crazy.
Ashton nudges my arm with his elbow. "Are you nervous?"
"I'm not sure." If the definition of nervous is wanting to throw up the breakfast burrito that I had before we left to school and potentially having a heart attack because I can hear my rapid heartbeat in my head that sounds like it's going to burst a hole through my chest, then yes, I am nervous.
"Do you not like giving speeches?"
"I'm not sure," I repeat. "I've never really had to give a speech. I always found a way to opt out of them if the opportunity presented itself. So we'll soon find out if I don't like them."
"Do you want me to speak first?" His voice is soft and patient, almost soothing in a way. And the way he rubs his thumb on my thigh helps ease some of the nerves and replaces them with comfort.
I place my hand on top of his and squeeze it tightly. "Yes, please."
Leaning over to me, he pecks my cheek and whispers in my ear, "You've got this." I was expecting a "don't worry," or "everything will be okay," but Ash doesn't pressure me with phrases like that. He knows exactly what to say to give me the slither of encouragement that I need without raising the expectations.
I should probably say that about him...
He leans back against his chair and stares ahead of him before slowly closing his eyes and squeezing my hand. His glasses hang lowly on the bridge of his nose and his hair is parted slightly and pushed to either side of his face, exposing his semi-relaxed features in full view. The only thing keeping him from looking like he's got it completely together is the slight crease in his forehead and clenched jaw.
I guess even he gets nervous sometimes. It's unusual to see him like this. With his outgoing personality I figured that speeches would be an easy task for him, but I guess I was wrong. Although, maybe he's not nervous about the speech—maybe he's worried about showing off his painting. The few times that he's actually showed his work, he was in the presence of his friends and no one else. He'll be showing off his work to over 60 students. Strangers. No wonder he's freaking out. Something personal of his is going to be on display and judged.
His eyes shoot open when the double doors close shut after Professor Ross enters the room and the loud voices around us cease. For a single moment, the room fills with panic and silent cries for mercy because the moment that many of us have been dreading has finally come.
Professor Ross stands in front of the podium and scans the room while rubbing his hands together. "For the first time you guys actually look lively. Maybe I should come up with projects more often," he jokes, but he's the only one who laughs. He clears his throat. "We don't want to waste any time because there are a lot of you here, so which pair would like to come up and present first?"
Forcibly lifting my hand in the air along with his, Ashton signs his death wish. "We'll go," he announces and all heads turn to us.
I pull our arms down. "Ashton! What are you doing?" I seethe, wishing that I was anywhere but here right now.
"If we go first, we can get it over with and go home," he explains, standing from his seat.
I grab his arm and pull him down to my level. "I would like to reevaluate our relationship," I whisper harshly. I can handle going second or even better, last, but first? No. Hell no.
He has the nerve to give me his signature dimpled smile that almost diminishes my growing anger towards him. "It'll be quick, I promise."
Looking down to Professor Ross, he gestures for us to hurry up. I stand up from my seat and glare at Ashton as he leads us down the aisle with his paining in hand and over to the front of the lecture room. "I hate you so much right now."
"Not for long," he says, placing the canvas on the metal railing on the chalkboard.
"Your time limit is 7 minutes," Professor Ross informs as he goes to sit amongst the students to observe.
"Each or together?" Ashton asks.
"Together," he clarifies and that helps reduce the anxiety that's starting to build as I endure all the stares burning into my skin. "So you each have 3 and a half minutes. Start whenever you're ready."
Ashton finds his way next to me and rubs the small of my back reassuringly as we stand before our classmates who whisper amongst themselves. "I'm not going to introduce myself because she's going to do that, so I guess I'll just jump straight into it," he says, looking to the crowd and then down to me with a light curve of his lips. "This is Emilia Anderson. She wasn't someone who I was expecting to meet, but if it weren't for bumping into her, I'd still be a walking mess. She's quiet, but she isn't afraid to speak her mind when she has to. She remarkably intelligent and even though I'm older than her by a couple years, sometimes I feel like I am talking to someone twice my age.
"She's extremely stubborn and eats like it's her last meal, but I like that about her. She's comfortable around the people who she cares about and can let her guard down and be herself without having to hide behind a mask. I feel like I'm not doing justice by describing her like this, so I painted something. It took me a while to finish and Emilia hasn't seen it yet so it'll be a surprise for her." Taking my hand in his, he pulls me over by the chalkboard and unravels the knot from the sheet and removes the cloth to reveal the vibrant canvas beneath. I take a few steps back to view the picture in its entirety and my mouth falls along with the rest of the class's as they awe in admiration at the painting of me.
It takes me a moment to figure out the point of view from which the painting is being presented in, but I realize that what I'm looking at is being shown through Ashton's eyes. What's weird though is as I look at the image in front of me, I'm taken back to that day where I really feel like we became the closest.
The royal blue dress that he picked out for me is painted to perfection and almost looks realistic to the point where if I touched it, I would expect to feel the soft chiffon fabric. My hair is detailed down to the very last strand, showing off the small amount of natural red that I have within the dark brown mass. The small amount of makeup that I was wearing still makes me look like a different person, my skin looks almost flawless, and the smile that I was wearing is more dazzling than I can ever imagine. But what I find most difficult to comprehend is the girl looking up at me with the happiest expression as she dances with the person that she cares for the most. This is how Ashton sees me. For the first time I can see for myself what I look like to Ashton and I'm almost in denial because of it.
"It took me a long time to get it to look like this," Ashton reveals, looking at his own work and then to the class. "The first time I had painted this, it was only in black and white, but as time went on and I learned more and more about Emilia, little by little I was able to add color to it. Some days it would be a single color, others an abundance. What you see painted is the exact moment when I knew I had fallen for Emilia. I didn't fall for her because of how stunning she looked. I fell for her because of who she is and what she has done.
"This is a girl who was able to show me what it's like to see the world in color. This is a girl who you can confide in and know that she will never judge or ridicule you. She's caring and she shows it by being sarcastic and witty. And Professor Ross is gesturing for me to wrap it up so I'd like to leave you with this: she may not look like it to you, but to me, she's the light that everyone needs in their life to illuminate the world around them and see it the way it's supposed to be seen—unreal."
A world so perfect that it cannot seem real, created by a single person. I'm not the only one who has done that and he knows that. So much thought went into his presentation and the painting was the cherry on top. He knows me inside and out and can even describe the things that I don't even know about myself.
Everyone claps for Ashton and a few guys shout cheers at him. I'm at a loss for words and I don't know whether I should clap along with everyone or continue to stand here motionless. I do neither and grab his hand instead. "I'm sorry, excuse us for a minute." I rush the words out and don't even look to Professor Ross for permission. I just pull Ashton over and out the double doors and into the hallway.
"Emilia, what are you doing?" He asks as he staggers when I come to a stop. "Did I say something I shouldn't have?"
Placing my hands on either side of his cheeks, I bring him down to my level and kiss him. He's startled, but recovers quickly and places his hands on my hips. Our lips brush lightly against each other when I pull back and rest my forehead against his. My breathing is jagged and I'm almost out of breath from sheer adrenaline. I know I have to make this quick because I still need to do my presentation, so I kick down the final wall that has been holding me back and let it shatter. "I love you," I whisper and his grip on my hips tightens.
A low chuckle escapes his lips. "You don't know how long I've been waiting for you to say that."
"You don't know how long I've been wanting to say it."
One hand slithers to the back of my neck and the other finds its way around my back and quickly pulls me to him, leaving no space between us as he smiles against my lips. My hands make its way around his neck and I can almost feel his irregular heartbeat against my chest as I pull myself impossibly closer. It feels so good to finally tell Ashton that I love him. He's so happy. I'm so happy. We're lovesick idiots who are over the moon and I love it.
Breaking our mini celebration of reciprocation, someone clears their throat. "Hey guys?" We break apart and stare like a deer in the headlights at a guy peeking his head out of the door to the classroom. "I hate to break this Hallmark moment, but Professor Ross said that if you two don't get back in here, he's going to start docking points from your grade."
"No, no, no, no," I chant, detaching myself from Ashton and pushing past the random guy who brought me back to reality. I will not have points deducted from my grade. I love Ash, but I've got a GPA to uphold. Ashton slowly strolls back inside with me and shows off the biggest grin her can muster up. "Sorry, I'll get started," I tell Professor Ross and face the class.
As I look out onto the crowd of faces, some students are whispering to one another while others have their arms crossed, waiting for me to get started, and I realize that I have nothing prepared. I already knew that, but now that I'm here standing in front of everyone, my mind has gone blank. I can't just say nothing. Ashton gave an incredible presentation and I should at least be able to say something equally as nice. Dammit, Ashton. You just had to set the bar high.
Taking a deep breath, I shake the nerves off and speak. "This is Ashton Irwin." Alright, good start. "If you couldn't put two and two together during his presentation, I'll make it clear: we're dating. Ash is the type of person who would be considered the "best friend" in every group. He's loyal, trustworthy, selfless, and sometimes overly kind. When I first met him, he spilled my drink on me by accident and went through the trouble of buying me a shirt from the bookstore even though he didn't know my name. He helped a complete stranger out of the kindness of his heart. Not very many people do that anymore which makes him one of the special few who do.
"Ashton is loud, annoying, and sometimes he can be a bit of an idiot, but despite all of that, he's the most amazing person that I've ever encountered. As you saw, Ashton is a bit of an artist and I will admit that I was thoroughly surprised with what he did. He's extremely talented and he does it with such ease, and his work conveys some of the greatest emotions. Ash has had a rough life, but he always finds a way to smile everyday and I swear that he can make anyone smile just by showing off his dimples." He smiles next to me, showing off those wonderful indentions and making a few girls in the front row smile back at him.
"Even though Ashton may seem very outgoing, he has another side to him that not very many people have seen nor do they want to see it. Just like everyone here, Ash has his own life struggles but he's good at concealing the impact that they have on him. He would rather worry about others than worry about himself because in his mind, it's the most gratifying thing to help others in need. One thing that I find most interesting about him is how much he considers his friends as his family. It's a small family but it's all he needs to feel content." I look over to Professor Ross and he's twirling his finger in the air, telling me that I need to hurry up and finish. I thought I had 3 minutes, but I guess he shortened my time for leaving the classroom.
"Sometimes we meet people by accident and you may not want anything to do with them, but sometimes that meeting isn't an accident. I think that everything happens for a reason and the people that we meet in life have an impact on who we are and what we become. Ashton is a prime example of that. He's almost like a mentor in a way and I've learned so much from him and to this day, I'm still learning. He's wise beyond his years and always knows the right thing to say in any given situation. He's ordinary yet unordinary and I love that about him." I give a small smile as my ending and let the applause eat away at the remaining nerves still lingering in me.
Clapping his hands together at a slow pace, Professor Ross stands to his feet and gives us a standing ovation. "I've already told you guys this, but this is what I wanted to see come out of this project. Not only was a friendship established, but a relationship as well. The rest of ya'll better have as good presentations as these two."
Standing out of his seat, random guy who disrupted me and Ash shouts, "How are we supposed to compete with that? They literally just screwed us over and made anything that we do look like absolute shit in comparison to them."
Ashton and I look to one another with raised eyebrows and shrug. I honestly thought my presentation sucked, but apparently it didn't. Hooray for lack of preparation and pulling words out of my ass!
"You better find a way to step up to the plate and give a damn good presentation," Professor Ross tells random dude and then flickers his eyes over to us. "Emilia, Ashton, great job. I'm really proud of your work. Since it's the last day of class and I'm feeling rather generous as well as the fact that you volunteered to go first, you two may leave. Have a wonderful break and I hope to see you around in the spring."
Fuck yes. "Thank you so much," I say.
Ashton and I run up to get our stuff from our seats and then hurry towards the doors hand in hand.
"Don't you want your painting, Ashton?" Professor Ross asks as we rush out of the threshold.
"Don't need it!" He shouts. "I've got the real thing right here."
We snake around students wandering in the hallways and make our way out of the building and into the falling snow outside. Our last class of the semester is finally over. A long five months of excitement, depression, hurt, stress, and love has come to an end and we finally have a break. For my first semester here at DU, it's more than I had anticipated, but I don't regret any of it. I wouldn't change anything. Though the experiences were troublesome and I wish that a lot of things didn't happen the way they did, it all led to where I am now; looking to the sky as the white flakes slowly fall with the single person responsible for everything.
"So if I say 'I lava you,' will you say it back?" Ashton quizzes, smirking at me.
"That depends on how cheesy you sound when saying it."
"I lava you." He stretches out the last syllable and pecks my lips.
I try to stifle a laugh, but fail miserably. "I lava you too."
"Okay, hearing you say it makes it sound even more cheesy," he admits and I lightly hit his arm. His laugh is infectious and it makes my cheeks hurt from smiling so much at him. "I do love you though."
Every time he says it now, it means so much more than it did before. "Good," I say, "Because I love you just as much."
That smile. Those crinkles by his eyes. Everything about his expression is priceless and I just want to etch the image into my mind so that I can remember it forever. He kisses me sweetly and takes in my very existence by moving against me in a slow rhythm. If this is what it's like to be in love, I wish I had realized it sooner than I did because it is riveting.
After standing in the below freezing temperatures for a lengthy amount of time like idiots, we high tail over to his house where Ashton decides to make a grand entrance and announce to the entire house that I told him that I love him. At first I was embarrassed and Julia and the boys didn't make it any easier because they smothered me and thought I was so cute for finally saying it back, but I got over it because I realized how hard they were rooting for me this entire time.
"Emmie," Michael calls me over to him and away from everyone else. He holds out a white envelope and hands it to me while smiling from ear to ear. "Happy belated birthday."
"You really didn't have to get me anything," I say.
He shrugs. "It's no big deal. Just think of it as my payment to you for helping me out with history. I probably wouldn't have passed if it weren't for you."
He's right. He wouldn't have. I smile and slide my finger under the sealed flap and rip it open. Inside are two reservations to the Chamberlin Observatory on campus for a tour and star gazing.
"I thought it would be something good for both you and Ash. Now that school is over, you two can go out more," he says.
I wrap my arms around the red headed boy and smile uncontrollably. "Thank you so much, Michael."
"You're welcome, Emmie." He squeezes me tightly and then lets go.
Tapping on my shoulder and spinning me around, Luke pulls me into a warm side hug. "Just so you know, I helped pay for those reservations, but don't tell Mikey that I told you," he says. "I told him that he could have all the credit."
"Is this your way of having me thank you as well?" I tease and he plays with his lip ring.
Shrugging, he replies, "Maybe."
I scoff playfully and pull the blond into another hug. "Thank you, Luke."
"Anytime, Em." His chin rests on my head and he rubs my back soothingly.
"So is everyone getting hugs except for me?" Ash pouts and pulls me from his friend's arms and into his. "What's that?" He points to the white envelope in my hands.
"My birthday present from Michael," I answer. "They're reservations to the observatory."
"The observatory? I didn't know that it was still open to the public. If I had known I would have taken you there for our first date."
Even though it sounds like a good idea now, I still like that we went rock climbing for our first date. "Well, we can go here for our second date."
He gasps. "Emilia Anderson, are you asking me out on a date?"
"Not if you do that again," I tease and remove his glasses from his face so that I can see those hazel eyes that seem to be more captivating every time I see them.
"And here I thought you loved me." He frowns and forces his lip to quiver.
"You're such an idiot." I laugh and bury my face into his chest. He smells like peppermint today. I'm not very keen on the scent, but I like it on him. Although seeing how whipped I am, he could be slathered in salami and I would somehow find it attractive. Human attraction is seriously some weird shit. "You know I do."
"Do what?" he hums.
"Love you," I murmur.
"I know." He kisses the top of my head. "I just love hearing you say it."
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A/N:
Asdfghjkl; She said it. YES. This was actually really hard to write for some reason. I hope you guys enjoyed it though!
And because I got so many comments on the last chapter, I will make this statement again: YES, PYW WILL BE ENDING SOON, BUT (THERE IS A BUT!!) THERE WILL BE A SEQUAL CALLED PAINTING FLOWERS!!!! SO ASHLIA WILL NOT BE OVER.
Thank you guys so, so much for over 100k reads!! I was so happy when I saw it and I was texting my friends and freaking out. It's seriously unbelievable that it has gotten this far and I can't thank you guys enough. I hope I am doing a good job at writing this story and I hope that you will continue to support and read it :)
I will not be able to update for about two weeks because dead week starts this week for me and then the following is finals, but afterwards the semester will be over and I get to binge write and I can't wait.
Please don't forget to vote, comment, and share! I love you all! –Rebecca xoxoxoxoxoxo