Jade's POV
I'm currently avoiding Josie right now hiding in the walk in staring at the cooler. Even tho I've been on human blood bags since I got back . I can't help but get urges still and Dr.S said it's gonna take time but the problem is I can't tell him when they are happening . He wouldn't let me around his daughter he trusts me but I don't trust me . I'm so wrapped up in thought I didn't hear the door open .
" Okay babe what's wrong . I tried to let you deal with it but when you start avoiding me all together that's when I draw a line. Tell me please . "
" It's embarrassing . Also I'm kind of ashamed to admit it ."
" Babe I promise I will be here to help you with whatever you need just tell me ."
" The reason I've been avoiding you is because I'm having hard time controlling myself around you especially when we are alone and we can't keep our hands to ourselves okay. I'm ashamed because when I'm kissing you I shouldn't be thinking about ripping your throat out even if it's just a flash of a thought
then it's all I start to think about . Your intoxicating to me in a great way and also a really bad way . Your the only thing I truly care about and if i hurt you I wouldn't be able to live with myself . I just don't know what to do I've read everything I can and nothing's working . "
" Not necessarily you haven't read everything especially my stepfather's diaries. Long story short Stephan my Mom's husband that died was the first ripper . Babe if I had known it was getting this bad I could have helped you . We can go up to Stephan's room it's actually still here since it was there house once my father didn't feel right making it a dorm so it's kinda my own personal sceret magic library nobody else knows that it's here. I spell the door so no one but me can see it . If you want can come with me and I promise we will figure it out ."
" I'm sorry for avoiding you it was childish from now on we will figure it out together I won't run from my problems anymore when I know your gonna be there to help me while I get through them . I'm sorry really am."
" It's okay babe I'm not gonna be mad you were just put in my well-being and safety first"
" Because I love you."
" I love you too now let's go get reading and hopefully figure out a solution"
" Lead the way Saltzmen "
We had been in Josie's little hidden library for a couple hours now when came across something thing one of Stefan's journal he wrote "today was a hard day but in order to defeat the Originals I needed to feed on human blood from now on I'm just not as strong when I drink animal blood . I don't trust myself , Elena shes foolish but brave , she trusts's me enough to take just a few drops a day and I love her too much to ever hurt her . So a few drops became a little more and more until i built up a tolerance for small amounts of blood nothing major. Elena trusted that the fact I loved her so much would be the key at keeping the ripper at bay and she was right she was the only person I ever fed on that I didn't kill . But at least now I don't have to worry about drinking the entire stash of blood bags when I get an urge ....." and just as I get done reading the last sentence I feel arms wrap around my waist and she puts her head on my shoulder ..
"Find anything useful because all's I found was angst filled pages about Hope's father "
" I found something but I don't feel like putting you in a situation that is dangerous because it is. Josie what this is saying is that he fed on his ex girlfriend Elena ... even tho it was only a few drops every day it is still dangerous . "
She takes the book and sits down on top of the desk in front of me and quickly reads the journal entry and puts the book down and sighs and then she grabs the desk chair and motions for me to sit . So i don't question it I sit then she grabs a knife off of the desk and kneels right in front of me she takes my one hand and looks me in the eyes .
"Jade I trust you and I love you . You can do this , You can control yourself . I believe in you babe but you right this is dangerous but I know you and you would never hurt anyone let alone me . It's up to you do you trust me ."
"Of coarse I trust you Joz, I don't trust myself . That's the problem."
"Babe you have got t stop . If you don't learn to start trusting yourself you never will hence why I'm giving you this golden ticket take it . I want you to be able to be around blood I want you to be able to go back to EMT training and make a career because I know that is something you want...I Just........"
I cut her off by crashing our lips together . I don't fucking deserve her she is literally too ood for this fucking world . We kissed and kissed till finally she ended up in my lap , things were starting to get heated and then I pulled back and looked away to calm down my veins were showing but I felt Josie's hands on my face making me look at her and suddenly they were gone .
"Don't ever look away from me . I love every piece of you. Are you ready I know a spell so I can heal myself ?"
"As ready as I'll ever be "
Josie made a small cut on her palm just enough for a tiny bit of blood to come running down her hand I took her hand in mine and shut my eyes I opened them and I could feel my fangs but I didn't bite hard I don't want to hurt her , I could never but I counted 1....2.....3.... okay that's enough and then I flung myself backwards until she could heal herself . Once she did she was in front of me instantly pulling me into a hug and I just sat there and held each other because I didn't think I could stop myself but because I really thought I was going to hurt her and that scared me, I've never been so scared . She sat in lap head on my shoulder drawing patterns on my back for a while before she spoke
"babe it's okay you did it . You didn't hurt me , You did absolutely amazing . I'm so proud of you"
<<<<<<<<<<<SMUT WARNING YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
She then brought me in for the most sensual kiss I ever ever received like she was trying to say just what she meant . She pulled back and kissed underneath my eyes then my cheek down my jaw until she found the sweet spot on my neck . I threw my head back and let a moan roll out as i gripped a hand full of her hair I picked her up with my other hand and vamp sped her to the desk. I placed her on the desk and slid everything else off of it she took my shirt off leaving me in my pants and sports bra . I stop the kiss to let her catch her breath and intertwine both our hand I kiss her forehead , look her in the eyes and ask her.
"Josie ,....... are you sure ?"
"Yes I want you ! Please Jade I trust you "
"where do you want me Joz"
"Here Now"
She grabbed my hand and put it in her pants . So I took her shirt off and threw it aside then I took her pants off I started kissing from her inner thigh up to her stomach then when I finally gain confidence and start to kiss her neck which she then cranes it I must be doing something right she finally pulls me into a kiss and we are back to a heated session finally My hand starts to wander back towards where she needs me the most I start to rub my finger over top of her underwear I hear her breath hitch so I smirk I move her underwear aside and slide a finger in slowly and wait for her to adjust when she starts to move against my finger that's when I slip a second one in soon after she reaches her climax she and I just lay back on the desk books scattered all over the place and I'm just holding her . Nothing could be better then this
***********************************************************************************************hello dearies you can yell in the comments if the smut was bad but to be fair it is my first time writing such a scene I promise it can only get better from here *assuming anyone wants more smut ( 0.0) * any who lol normal note nothing special just thank you guys for coming back and reading every update it means a lot . Again this chapter was half done and my phone deleted it so I re wrote it on my surface pro so if you see some grammar mistakes its because this bitch doesn't do auto correct apparently . All Updates will be made on my laptop from now on so they wont get deleted so bare with me if it seems I'm taking longer to update its because I have to constantly back up to capitalize or put a fucking comma or apostrophe on every fucking its actually quite annoying so if anyone knows of how to fix it let me know lol till next time dearies ;)