New York: September 24th.
Billie's POV:
It was about two hours before the show, today is the day of the meeting and I'm stressed. Like I know she's staying, my label loves her. They have no reason to not let her stay.
Soundcheck just started, and Maddie was on the bike as usual making me laugh when she zoomed out. I watched her as I laughed and it created her smile that I love.
I could tell that Maddie's still off about everything, she thinks that I'mma be mad if she leaves. She's not leaving, I've said it once and I'll say it again. She is not leaving.
Tour has been amazing with her, she makes everything so much more fun. I'll be sitting in a meeting, and I'll just think that I can go talk to her after this. That makes this whole thing so much easier, before I knew she was coming. Everyone thought I was crazy, for saying that she was planning to come on tour with me but look where we are.
Maddie and I's relationship has grown so much, and I couldn't be happier and I know she's happy too. But with this whole meeting thing, I know she's stressed out about it. It's just how she thinks, she can't help it.
Soundcheck ended meaning it was about thirty minutes before the meet and greet, and an hour and a half until the show. An hour until the meeting probably.
Maddie and I walked backstage holding hands. She sat down on this couch, and I rested my head in her lap. We're completely switching roles, Maddie used to rest her head in my lap all the time. Like she still does it, but now it's like... I'm the bottom.
I opened my mouth instantly at the thought, I was in complete shock. I sat up, and Maddie looked at me.
Maddie: "Are you okay?" She laughed.
Billie: "Lay your head in my lap right now."
Maddie: "Okay?" She did as I said. My hand found its way into her hair.
Maddie: "Why did you look like that and why did you ask me to lay in your lap?" She asked, still laughing.
Billie: "I realized that I was becoming the bottom and I cannot have that happen."
I have never seen Maddie laugh so hard, she didn't realize what was happening either.
Maddie: "Oh... oh my... god. That is the- the funniest thing." She's still laughing.
Billie: "Haha, very funny."
Maddie: "It is, but we all knew I was the top anyways."
Billie: "Excuse me?"
Maddie: "Who has the tongue ring?"
Billie: "You do but-"
Maddie: "But nothing."
Billie: "But-"
Maddie: "Don't make me bring up New York last time, and don't make me mention last night."
Billie: "Shorty, I will do anything to prove to you that I'm not a bottom."
Maddie: "Anything?" A smirk appeared on her lips.
Billie: "Anything."
Maddie: "I'm not going to make you do anything to prove that you're a top babygirl, I'll just let you think that."
Maddie got up and walked towards Claudia, I watched her walk away, still in shock I didn't even realize what I was doing. There is no way in hell that I'm a bottom, it's not possible.
I ran my hands over my face, Finneas walked to where I was.
Finneas: "You okay?"
Billie: "She's manipulating me."
Finneas: "Maddie?"
I didn't say anything.
Finneas: "How is she manipulating you?"
Billie: "You don't wanna know."
Finneas: "It's a good thing?"
Billie: "She's turning me into a bo- never mind."
Finneas smiled at me, "Aw, Billie the bottom. Look what she's doing to you."
Billie: "This is not acceptable, I have to fix this."
Finneas: "Keep that idea to yourself."
Billie: "I plan to."
Finneas walked away, and I still sat there. I was never a bottom and I'll never will be a bottom.
I walked into the room where Maddie was standing, looking at her phone, Claudia was with Finneas because I watched her walk out of there.
Maddie was typing on her phone and she didn't hear me come in, I placed my hand around her neck and pushed her again the wall. Her eyes closed as she turned off her phone.
Billie: "Hi shorty." I whispered.
Maddie: "Hi babygirl."
I looked her up and down and bit my lip.
Maddie: "You still intimidate the fuck outta me."
Billie: "I know."
I started leaving light kisses on her neck, I wasn't going to leave any marks because of the meeting she has to attend.
Maddie: "No marks."
Billie: "I know." I tilted her head to give me more access, her hand found her way into the mess of chains around my neck and pulled me closer to her.
Maddie: "It shouldn't bother you that you're a bottom."
Billie: "But I'm not."
Maddie: "Okay, I get it, I'm not gonna win this argument. Especially with your big ass ego. But it shouldn't matter, I just like that you're affectionate."
Billie: "It doesn't bother me that much, I just wanted to make you laugh. I like being affectionate, and I like when you make that little pout you do when you look down at me in your lap."
I pulled away to look at her and she had a smile on her lips, my intimidating attitude went away the second I looked into her eyes.
Maddie: "God, you're perfect."
Billie: "You're perfect."
She placed her hands on my hips and stood on her tippy toes to kiss my forehead. She then wrapped her arms around my waist and gave me a hug.
Billie: "Are you nervous for your meeting?"
Maddie: "Nah I'm okay."
Billie: "I'mma make Finneas take his phone on stage, so text him when you know."
Maddie: "Or you could just wait until after the show."
Billie: "That's too long."
I could sense that Maddie rolled her eyes even though her head was rested on my chest.
Maddie: "Whatever you wanna do."
I let a smile form on my lips and my mom walked in.
Maggie: "Billie, time for the meet and greet."
I kissed the top of Maddie's head and she held my hand until I was out of her reach.
Just so you know, I lied back there. It bothers the fuck outta me that I'm turning into a bottom, I don't know what I'mma do about it yet. So I'm just going to let it go for right now.
The problem is, is that, every single time I look at her now. The day she surprised me replays, just looking at her makes me soft. I don't understand how someone can do that, I mean don't get me wrong, I used to look at her and get soft. But now it's different.
The meet and greet went good, how it always does. I now have about thirty minutes before the show, which means Maddie's meeting gonna start any minute.
Via Instagram:
Liked by: bhadbhabie, claudiasulewski and 5,235,350 others.
madisonvoyage: ever since tour started, my outfits either pop off or they're horrible, there's no in between.
claudiasulewski: a bad bitch though?
billieeilish: your outfits are always fire shorty.
Okay, hear me out, I used to comment things like that. But not often enough to where it created speculation, but now I do all the time just to give the fans something they want. Because I see the comments, I fucking see everything, and they ship the fuck out of us.
I am so happy that they ship us so hard, because I feel like it would get to Maddie. Even though, I fixed her or whatever, she still does have her moments and my goal is to get her all the way there. But I doubt my ability to do that, because I don't want her to think that she needs fixing.
I just want her to have fun with her life, and I hope that is what she's doing. I know I make her happy, and I know that she enjoys being with my family. She would never admit this to me, but my family is like, adopting her. They're treating her how she should've been treated.
At first I know Maddie was scared to get close with my family, I wouldn't force her to become close with them because I know what she's been through. I let her do this all on her own, and she became close with everyone. She let her walls down, and she let them in. She's never gonna regret that decision.
I walked backstage to let them give me everything I needed, they gave me the things I put in my ears. I started stretching, because I damn near broke my ankle yesterday walking off of the tour bus.
I see Maddie come in and she looked down at me and smiled, she was holding two waters. She handed me one, I looked at her with my smile and leaned down to give me a peck.
Maddie: "Have a good show, don't hurt yourself."
Billie: "No promises, but don't forget."
Maddie: "Don't forget what?"
Billie: "You're not leaving."
Maddie: "I know."
She gave me a smile and caught up with my mom, they walked into the meeting room and all of a sudden my heart started racing.
What if my label doesn't like me getting all this attention because I'm dating her? No, my label doesn't care. Okay, I need to get my shit together, she's staying. It's going to be okay.
Finneas walked past me, I grabbed his leg to get his attention.
Billie: "I told Maddie you're taking your phone out there, so she's going to text you when she knows if she's staying or not."
Finneas: "You must be dumb as hell."
Billie: "What do you mean?"
Finnea: "You're telling me, you want me to tell you if she's staying? What if she doesn't? How are you going to react?"
Billie: "Normally I'd argue, but since they don't have a reason to send her home. I know she's staying."
Finneas: "If you know then why-"
Billie: "Just help me out, you'll put your phone on your keyboard and then I'mma look at you after every song. Give me a thumbs up if she's staying, if she hasn't responded just shake your head or some shit like that."
Finneas: "Okay, 5 minutes until show time."
Billie: "Okay."
I saw Claudia walk out of the bathroom, she saw me sitting on the ground.
Claudia: "Did she talk to you?"
Billie: "About the meeting?"
Claudia: "Yeah."
Billie: "Yeah, she did. I reacted horribly, but we fixed it. She's not leaving so we're all gonna be okay."
Claudia: "I know." She placed her hand on shoulder reassuringly and then she was on her way to the family area.
I stood up and took a drink of my water, this is the biggest show that I have done all tour so far. So this should be hella fun.
...
So far I've performed three songs, I looked back at Finneas and he shook his head. She should be out of the meeting by now, I started to sing bitches broken hearts. This is probably one of my favorite songs to perform, just because I like to see the crowds reaction. I looked over to the family area, and I see Maddie talking to Claudia, it almost looked bad.
There is no way that she is leaving, they can't make her leave and I won't let her. I finished singing the song, and I looked back at Finneas, he waved his hand and told me to come to him. His phone was unlocked and it was Maddie's texts.
Maddie V.
tell the dumb bitch i'm staying.
I let every ounce of worry leave my body and I looked over to her, she was looking at me and she mouthed I love you. I mouthed it back.
God, I am so happy that she gets to stay.
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this chapter's all over the place, but i enjoyed writing it.
thanks ily
words: 2014.