"The Isle..."
PG 13
Summary: What "Riverdale" did to "Archie and Jughead" and "Betty and Veronica", I'm doin' to "Gilligan's Isle" ...
Disclaimer: All characters of Gilligan's Isle remain property of that series...Any resemblance of fictional characters to those living or dead is purely coincidental...
Part III...
"So you have a boat...?" the heavy-set mustachioed man named as "Steve" eagerly addressed Gilligan as he and Karen, leaning on each other to use their respective good legs, walked beside him on the way back to the Minnow.
"Yeah, the Minnow, but she took a bad pounding in some storms coming here and we took some big holes getting through the shoals and reef here." Gilligan sighed. "But at least we're all alive..." he brightened. "And maybe the Professor can fix our radio...Say, is your plane here? Maybe we could get spare parts."
"Nah..." Karen shook head. "That's two or was it, three...? Mostly deserted islands back. We sailed here on some of the mad billionaire who hunted us' motorboats. Obviously they didn't have much poop to them. And no radios on them."
"Wow..." Gilligan stared. "This guy actually hunted people?"
"He and a few very rich friends, yeah..." Steve noted. "And it was a shame, at first he seemed a really nice guy...And you know, his taste in wives was not what you'd expect...Take that guy Trump or the other one, Crumpt, for instance...Say did either actually run for President? That must have been a joke..." he grinned.
"Trump went to prison for fraud...Mr. Crumpt is running and he may win the nomination...Somehow...If he manages to get back home. He's here." Gilligan told them to stunned surprise.
"Here?" Karen stared... "He finally had to flee the cops too?"
"No, he and his wife took our charter...Kinda strange...He came up in his limo just before we were gonna do our last sail and came on board. His wife too. Seemed a little odd..." Gilligan shook head.
Though very well planned...More so on Jonas' and the Agency's part than Crumpt's. Right down to the stoolie Russian contact and the arranged isolated key meeting with Putinsky's agents.
"Ya think? The guy's supposed to be a billionaire, though frankly I thought he was bankrupt ever since I saw himtrying to shill his brands of salsa, t-shirts, and window cleaner on Letterman, right after Trump did his dance there. God, I'd thought Letterman mocked Trump but Crumpt...What a clown. But he's still trying to get the nomination?" Karen stared.
"They say he'll get it...If he gets back alive, of course." Gilligan noted, innocently.
"Well, they do say he'll 'Make America 1925 Again'." Steve nodded. "That appeals to a lot of the Republican/Klan Party since the Dixiecrats took over in their plot to use Lincoln's party to turn things back to 1860."
"He says, there's no 'they'." Karen fumed. "And he's in league with the Russians."
"Karen's a Bernie supporter." Steve explained. "They see conspiracies everywhere."
Well this one's right...Gilligan thought. And I got the confessions from captured Russian agents to prove it, if those could ever see the light of day...
"But why did you leave the other island, once you..."
"...Killed, beheaded, peed on...That guy and his rich friends." Karen noted.
"...He didn't have anything but those motorboats?" Gilligan asked, carefully.
"Oh, he had a helicopter...But Owen, one of our dumbest dumbasses crashed it." Karen frowned.
"Amazing that he survived that one as well..." Steve reflected.
"And he had a radio transmitter...We called for help...But the only people in range were friends of his and Danny's evil sister."
"Danny?" Gilligan asked.
"Our billionaire...Or would be if he's survived and will live to see home again." Steve noted. "Very nice guy for a billionaire. But he's his father's heir and the sis, who seemed a nice person at first, is determined to either leave him stranded or better yet, kill him. She blackmailed the friends of the mad billionaire to send a squad of mercenaries to kill us all and leave no traces else she'd tell the world how they hunted people."
"Probably no one but the International Criminal Court would act but it would look bad for their charity fundraising..." Karen noted.
"Yeah...I see that." Gilligan nodded.
"So after they firebombed the island and strafed us, killing some of us whom none of our own clique really knew at all...So..." Karen shrugged. "We managed to find a secret Nazi underground base, the billionaire guy was of course, a neoNazi as well, like Trump and I hear, Crumpt, that he'd kept intact, right under his mansion, for old and neo- Nazi meetings with a secret Nazi prototype missile defense system that had never been used but he kept to show off to the old Nazis..."
"Fortunately Danny, Karen, and I got it to work..." Steve noted proudly.
Karen rolling eyes...Me...Me got it to work...She mouthed to Gilligan.
"Yeah...In any case those little suckers took out the two helicopters the mercenaries had and the electric fence on the property took out the only two survivors on the ground." she nodded.
"Then we found an old U-boat in the submarine pens of the base, but that sank..." Steve sighed.
Yeah...Karen eyed Gilligan "sank"...Rolling eyes.
Cut to shot of Owen, a tall, lanky, bearded guy in worn track suit, and Danny, a heavy-set, bearded guy likewise in track suit, in Uboat, screaming at Steve trying to close the valve he'd just turned to see what it did as the sub filled with water...
"So then we took the motorboats but they weren't really designed for open ocean sailing..." Steve went on. "So, just before we would've sunk we spotted this island...I was rather hoping it was New Zealand, my home, you know...And landed here." he concluded.
"Oh..." Gilligan smiled. "So...There are more of you..."
Hmmn. A problem...That may require Grum the Cleanser as well as me...A few witnesses, great. Too many and there could be ramifications that could unsettle the government of the United States and more important, compromise the Agency.
Could be as bad as Bernie actually beating Hillary and winning the Presidency...
Crumpt would've been worse, of course...But that problem is just about dealt with...
"...A happy ending, huh?" he innocently and brightly noted. Narrow-eyed stare when the two looked elsewhere...
Yeah... "You were lucky. How many of you were...Lucky?"
"Seven of us..." Karen noted... "All that was left...Except for people we left behind on the first and second islands, natch. And then some of us..."
"Died?"
Hopefully...And good for you, I think we could deal with just two more...
"...disappeared." she eyed him.
Hmmn...Disappeared as in, tragic accidents...Or, as in checked in with the Russkie equivalent of the Agency?
"Just disappeared, no trace?" Gilligan stared.
"Oh, one came back..." Steve sighed. "After two months, during which the remaining three of us fought to survive..."
Karen, mouthing...When I carried these chumps...Figuring if all else failed I could feed on them for a year...
"Jess came back...Someone we actually knew and have associated with for months...But it wasn't Jess." Steve solemnly.
"That's still under dispute..." Karen noted. "Remember she lost her memory and became a different person on the last island for a while."
"Yes, but she didn't return in a uniform-ish outfit then, with a rather large gun, and try to capture us for her employer." Steve noted.
Hmmn...Boris, watching, trying to read lips as the sound quality was just terrible...Going in and out all the time. Really have to replace some of this ole CIA equipment from the 70s soon.
I think they're telling the boy there who found them about Jess coming for them...
Perhaps, now I've located them again at last, I should send her out after them again...
With backup...? Igor's already out there, looking for Amelia's host again. Poor fellow, I sense that romance was doomed from the start when he captured her for me.
Or, perhaps best to just let the boy and his fellow castaways think these two are nuts. They won't be able to locate my base within the old base. And if these new people are not the innocent fools they seem, with the launch just days away now, I can't afford to have the island swarming with US agents. Or agents from anywheres, really.
Not trying to be jingoistic here.
Yes, for now...Till I know more about these mysterious castaways...Best not to show Balinkoff's dark hand...Mah, ha, ha, ha, hah!
Look, I tole you...Scientist, yes...Mad, no. He eyes us firmly, pressing a button.
"Dr. Balinkoff? Security here." a woman's voice on speaker.
"Yes...I want you to cancel the next physical security sweeps of the island...Monitor the new arrivals by camera and radar only for now. I want to know who they are without arousing any suspicions. Understand? Constant monitoring but no physical contact. It should not interfere with the launch, make sure mission control is aware of that. And maintain red alert in case these new people are more dangerous then they seem. Radar and drone sweeps to one thousand miles..."
"Yes, sir. I'll pass that on." Jess, a short lovely Asian-American woman in a sort of grey uniform hung up her microphone at her security monitor station two levels up, peering at various cameras.
Oh...So there's Karen and Steve...Where have they been hiding? And where is Danny? She eyed one monitor. And that's one of the new guys, the young kid.
Not as cute as the guy in the white shirt but not too bad...
Say, was that the Amelia host chicken on camera two just now...?
...