7k...wtf. i love u.
Harry Styles
Christmas Day
I woke up in bed alone, which automatically had me worried about where Lydia was.
I grab my phone and check the time. It was only 7 in the morning. Where was she?
I got out of bed quickly, literally in just my boxers.
I rush out of the bedroom, my half-asleep mind scared that Lydia might have been taken in our sleep.
I immediately prepared myself for the worst scenario. I was ready to call the guys to help me, even though I was pissed at them—Louis mostly. I was ready to fucking murder whoever dared to lay a hand on her. I was also fully aware that I was in fact half naked running around our apartment like a madman.
From the moment I woke up I had a million thoughts racing through my mind.
Who would've taken her?
Why wouldn't they have taken me?
Where is she now?
Is she okay?
But all these thoughts came to a halt when I found her passed out on the couch. She was wearing one of my t-shirts, curled up on the couch next to the Christmas tree.
I sigh a breath of relief upon seeing her safe and sound. I slowly walk over to her. Her chest was steadily moving up and down and her hair was draped over her face. I push it out of the way to reveal her beautifully relaxed features.
I don't know why she was asleep out here, but I was just glad she was safe.
Her body began to stir slightly and her eyes began to flutter, eventually slowly opening.
"Good morning." I say, kneeled down in front of her.
She smiles. "Merry Christmas."
"Why are you out here? Why weren't you in bed?" I ask, running my hand through her hair.
"I was doing something." she shrugs with a suspicious smile.
I tilt my head. "What?"
"Okay, I know we said we weren't doing gifts...but let this be an exception." she says, reaching over the side of the couch and grabbing a small box from under the tree.
I take a seat beside her on the couch as she hands me the box. "You shouldn't have gotten me anything."
"Shut up and open it." she says playfully.
I laugh under my breath and turn my attention to the small square shaped box in my hand, wrapped in Christmas-themed wrapping paper.
I start to rip it off, revealing the black box that it concealed.
I side-eye Lydia, seeing her legs bounce in anticipation as she waits for me to open my gift. She was keeping her lips pressed into a line as if she was trying not to blurt out what was in this box.
I smile to myself and slowly open the box.
Inside was something I honestly didn't expect at all. A ring.
Not just any ring. It was a ring that matched the one I gave her. The band was thicker, but the same gold. The pink gem was bigger than hers and more embedded in the band rather than hers which just sat on the ring.
I look over at her, unable to find the words to describe what this meant to me.
The ring I gave her was a symbol of promise. And here she was, returning the promises with a matching ring.
She shifts on the couch because of my silence. "D-do you like it?"
"I love it." I shake my head. I couldn't even fathom how much I loved her.
Her lips pull into a tiny smile. "You do?"
I nod and immediately pull her in to me tight. "Thank you, baby."
I pull away and look back down at the ring. Lydia delicately slides it out of the box and onto my ring finger on my right hand. It sat above another one of my rings.
"Perfect." she says with a grin.
"When did you get this?" I ask out of curiosity.
"This old woman I work with has a sort of passion for making jewelry. I told her I wanted to get you something special and then I showed her my ring. She made it and gave it to me like a week ago." she explains, looking down at her hands at the ring on her finger.
I examine the ring among the many other rings on my hand. The craftsmanship was impressive.
I had something that to give her as well. It was something that I had some trouble obtaining, because I've never done this stuff before. The gift I got was sort of for both of us...but I really bought it for her because I know it would mean a lot.
"Well, it seems that we've both broken the 'no gifts' rule, White." I say smugly, making her take a sharp breath in and squint her eyes in judgement, playful judgment.
"You're something else." she shakes her head.
I chuckle and hop off the couch. "Close your eyes."
She smiles and covers her eyes with her hands.
I get up and rush to this spare closet in the hallway that we never use. I put my gift in there because I knew it wouldn't get found.
So, that brings me back to what the gift is. I felt kinda stupid, because I'm not familiar—nor am I good—with these sorts of things...however, I'm going to use this thing in particular as my 'training wheels' for the future. Sounds dumb, I know.
I got us a car seat. For the baby.
It wasn't an impulsive decision at all. I actually thought it through for a really long time. I figured that putting the seat in the back of the car before the baby arrives will help us with getting used to having that presence in the back seat.
It seems like something that should be so simple...but for us, it just isn't. We have to changeable adjust our whole lives in order to welcome a baby.
I bring the large box back to the living room, planting it in front of Lydia. I didn't have time to wrap it, so that's why I had her close her eyes.
"Okay. Open." I direct, sitting down next to her.
She takes her hands away from her eyes, slowly opening them right after.
Once she sees what's in front of her, her eyes widen and her mouth drops open.
"Harry, oh my god." she says.
I couldn't really read her reaction. I couldn't tell if she was excited or not.
"I know it's kind of stupid...but I think it'll be good for us to-"
"Stop. It's perfect. I love it." she says, looking at the picture of the carseat on the box.
"Oh thank god." I exhale a breath of relief.
"I know you might not show it as much as me..." she starts, swinging her legs over mine and lifting herself up so that she was now straddling me. "...but I can tell that you're really excited about this baby." she gleams a toothy smile.
"I'm excited to have a baby with you. I wouldn't want it to be with anyone else." I say, looking up at her as she sat on my lap, her hands on my shoulders.
Truth is, if it wasn't Lydia having my baby...I wouldn't want it. It might sound bad, but she's the only person on the planet who has even caused me to consider starting a family outside of my gang lifestyle.
And also, if this baby is going to be anything like Lydia, then that'll be a whole other blessing in itself.
"Do you ever think about how they're gonna turn out? Like one day they're going to grow up and be their own person...with their own personality." I say.
She pulls her lips to the side with a small grin. "They're gonna be great. I know it."
I sigh, and look down at her stomach. "I'm just worried they'll end up like me, some damaged psycho."
She grabs my face, making me look back up at her eyes. "Hey, dont say that." she says seriously. "You weren't born damaged. You were made that way by people who didn't deserve to have you." she explains. "I know you, Harry. You're an incredible human being and I wouldn't change you for the world."
A corner of my mouth lifted while my eyes glistened at the sight of her. My ears tingled at the sound of her soft, soothing voice telling me I was worth it.
She thought I was worth it.
"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me." I whisper, squeezing her hips.
She threads a hand through my hair. "I love you, Harry Styles."
She brings her face in close and connects her lips with mine. I take in every moment of her soft mouth meeting mine. She was intoxicating and enchanting. She was so surreal that she made me feel like I was constantly living a dream.
I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I just don't know how to tell her that.
I've never thought of marriage as an option in my life. I've never met anyone who made me want to devote my entire life to them. Except Lydia.
I'd marry Lydia.
//
:,)