^^ Jack (Mask On) ^^
There are times when you manage to act like a total jackass, and it ends up being wildly funny for everyone involved.
Today was not one of those days.
Having received a message requesting my time from a dashing young man at 3am, I was of the impression that he was here because he was rather intrigued by me and was wanting a romantic, or perhaps steamy, rendezvous; with that in mind, I dressed in a cougar robe and my flashiest set of digital lingerie, (a gorgeous red lace set that I'd gotten for a steal, about a year ago,) and headed up to the loft, descending down the stairs with slow, steady strides, my robe casually tied barely closed and really only there to give the illusion of modesty.
The armored man was sitting on my guest couch, positioned intentionally for this exact purpose, and froze like a deer in headlights as he laid eyes on me, though his head turned to slowly follow me as I made my way across the room and sat on the couch across from him; I crossed my legs and placed my arms on the back of the couch, which spread the robe out even further 'accidentally'. He gulped nervously, and I smiled, happy with my affect on him so far.
"Well... you've got a moment of my time, Jack... whatever could you need, knocking on the door of an unmarried woman so late at night?" I asked sultrily, trying to keep eye contact and failing because of the damned helmet he always wore.
'I... Uhm? I came because-... I mean, I came here because- you know how you fixed my Tag?' -Jack. He cleared his throat and looked away, leaning his elbows on his thighs and crossing his legs.
I raised an eyebrow slowly at the gesture. 'Ahhh... you have a V, my dear? Good to know...' "Yes, of course... did you want it changed to something funnier? You picked an odd time to do it..." I smiled even wider, intrigued by the excuse he'd thought up.
'Sorry, I didn't mean to- I opened the game as soon as I got up the guts, and it must've been later than I thought, I didn't mean to bother you!!! I can come back tomorrow?!?' -Jack.
I chuckled softly. "Dear, I'm not angry, you can stop apologizing... now, what is it you wanted that required Guts, hmm? I assure you I don't bite... I prefer the gentler stuff."
If only I could see his face, I'm sure I could've lived off that expression for a month, no questions asked. The heat of his blush very nearly made the entire room ten degrees hotter as he flailed his hands in front of himself like he was signaling a plane. 'WAIT, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, I just wanted to ask you for a favor, is all, and you said you wouldn't mind, and then I felt awkward asking, and I just decided to ask, because the worst thing that could happen is you say no, you know?' -Jack.
"Ooh, Favors are my favorite... it's so good to see young men actually making sure their partners get what they need, it gives me faith in your generation..." I purred, moving sinuously across the short divide and sitting next to him, draping myself across the couch like a Tiger Rug and watching his panic with an amused gleam in my bright green eyes.
'Waitwaitwait- no that's not what I meant!!! I just wanted to ask you to help me with my Character!!!' -Jack.
I frowned slowly, and hummed, closing my robe with one hand. "You're sure? It's not because I came on too strong and you're having second thoughts? I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, dear..."
'Nonono, you're great-, I mean you're very pretty-, I mean I'm flattered, but I really didn't come here for anything... like that?' -Jack. He hadn't moved away from me, which was a good sign, but he was clearly shaken by the proposition.
"Hmm... alright... well, I apologize for misunderstanding your intentions, then... do you want me to change?" I asked, opening my inventory and selecting my Gestalt Set.
'No you don't have to, I don't mind,- I mean, I-, you're not making me uncomfortable or anything, just a bit nervous because you're very pretty, but it's your house, you can wear what you want?!?' -Jack.
I hummed and closed the tab. "Alright, I appreciate your honesty... now let's get to Brass Tacks, my dear, what do you need done with your Character? Your Tag, your Class Change... what?"
'Uhm... so, can you hack my account and force it to Re-Scan my body, so my Avatar reflects my Me? And my Voice, too? Is that possible?' -Jack.
"Hmm... honey, I'm going to ask you a question, and I will stress that the answer will not leave this couch; are you asking me because your Avatar is severely 'Outmoded' because you've since undergone... changes?" I asked as delicately as the rude question could be asked, examining my nails to give him a brief respite from my piercing gaze.
'... yes?' -Jack.
"And you have not yet applied for this Update because your account is very old, and probably monitored, and you are not the Admin, nor would the Admin allow or approve of this change?" I added another question on top, watching as he visibly deflated.
'... yes.' -Jack.
"Alright, then I'll see what I can do, but I will stress that I am not Hacking anything; that would be Illegal, and this is my Professional account, do you understand?" I asked, returning my drill-bore of a gaze right between his virtual eyes and watching him begin to quiver, nodding his head silently. I let up before he wet himself or melted into a puddle, whichever came first, and then opened a Chat Request marked Private.
'Who are you... Uhm... talking to? If I can ask? Is it a Hacker?' -Jack.
"Say that word again, and I will have you over my knee faster than you can blink." I tapped his helmet sharply with one plain nail, and typed into the Chat Request. 'Subject: GM Code Monkeys, Come out, come out, wherever you are!!!' -Samantha-Bordeaux,-Lead-Reactionary-Coder,-Project-Vikings(R).
'I thought you were just a 'code monkey'?' -Jack.
"They're one and the same, dear. I worked there for eight years, so of course I worked my way up the ladder a bit. Still, even the Lead Reactionary Coder for the Project answers to the GMs, who answer to the Designers, who answer to the Suits, who answer to the Boards, who answer to the Shareholders; all in all, 'Lead Reactionary Coder' is a presumptuous way of saying 'Highest-Paid Intern'." I explained casually, watching the screen for a response, and was soon rewarded.
'Go for Code Monkey Faraway, what can I do for you Miss Bordeaux?' -CMFaraway.
'Hey, doll, I have a query to put through; I have a player here on an account that hasn't had his Avatar updated since he was like 13, and he's a little fed up with looking and sounding like a little kid, but the Admin of the Account refuses to allow the Update. Can you use a Push Update to force the Avatar to make itself reflect the Player properly? All I'm asking for is a push notification with an .exe and an Admin Approval.' -Samantha-Bordeaux,-Lead-Reactionary-Coder,-Project-Vikings(R).
'Hmmm... I see you've already been meddling with our Code... but you only changed his Tag, so that's fine. There's a System Update and a Class Update scheduled for six minutes from now anyway, -which I advise you read, because it's all about the Alchemist Nerf, sorry,- so I can definitely do that for your friend. What does he want his new Tag and Name to be? And does he want the Legal Name requested to be Adjusted as well? We can facilitate that quietly, if he's a Legal Adult, although still it's a lengthy process. Also, the Admin can be changed, but he'll have to pay the Monthly fees himself.' -CMFaraway.
'They can do that?!? Please do!!! Jack Gerson! Tag Jack-Skellington!!! I'll pay the 300$ a month no problem!!!' -Jack.
I chuckled and typed his response up. 'That's a definite and enthusiastic Y/N, and a go for Jack-Skellington as Tag, Jack Gerson as Name, Player as Admin.' Samantha-Bordeaux,-Lead-Reactionary-Coder,-Project-Vikings(R).
'Rrrrrrroger~, Wilco.' -CMFaraway.
'Thank you, dear; I'll owe you a favor, alright? If you need a shift of Code-Grinding or Player-Watching covered, I'm available Tuesday-Thursday!' -Samantha-Bordeaux,-Lead-Reactionary-Coder,-Project-Vikings(R).
'I may take you up on that, Miss Bordeaux. The New Years Event is wicked crazy every year, and we always find new bugs just beforehand; an extra set of hands (or eyes) would be very helpful!' -CMFaraway.
'I'm too low-level to take part this year anyway, so I don't mind watching out for cheaters! I'll turn my living room into a viewing room and bring in some fresh eyes!' -Samantha-Bordeaux,-Lead-Reactionary-Coder,-Project-Vikings(R).
'Good; well, the Update is happening in 45 seconds, so your friend may want to go somewhere private and remove any Equipment they're wearing; the new Avatar Decal will remove everything anyway, and it may end up damaging the items.' CMFaraway.
Jack leapt up and raced up the stairs instantly, and I heard the sound or armor clattering to the ground, then turning to dust and entering his inventory.
'Thanks. Now tell me more about this Nerf? The Alchemist has the weakest combat abilities by far, unless you're using several magical items, and their Crafting Abilities are the only thing that makes them able to balance with other Players, in terms of DPS, and don't get me started on their weak-@ss HP!!!' -Samantha-Bordeaux,-Lead-Reactionary-Coder,-Project-Vikings(R).
'I agree, but the Magic Items you can make infinite amounts of are basically a Dupe-Glitch, so we had to fix that; we only called it a Nerf to make everyone happy. The Gun thing is stupid, so we ignored the people whining about the Steampunk and focused on everyone who liked the Trope, they were the main audience anyway.' -CMFaraway.
'Hmm... I suppose. What changed, then? The Gestalt Sphere? Or the Acid Slimes?' -Samantha-Bordeaux,-Lead-Reactionary-Coder,-Project-Vikings(R).
'The Acid Slimes, obviously? Wait, You have a Gestalt Sphere?!? Wow, I was wondering where that thing went; there's only 3, each different, and almost no one has actually activated them properly yet. But you have an Acid Slime and an abundance of chemical knowledge, you'll figure it out. Anyway, bye! I'll send you the Screens for watching the day of the Event, alright?' -CMFaraway.
'Sounds good, looking forward to it. Bye, Faraway.' -Samantha-Bordeaux,-Lead-Reactionary-Coder,-Project-Vikings(R).
Chat Closed.
"Hmph... I suppose the Slimes being able to make Magic Items was too much, but hopefully it just makes it so that they can't enchant things anymore..." I sighed, sending the screens away, then sat straight up at a loud yell from my upstairs. "JACK? You okay, honey?"
"Uh... yeah? Sorry, I forgot how to- I mean- never mind!!! I'm fine!!!" His voice was as cute as I imagined, with a cute little gasp at the end, and I tilted my head slowly.
"You forgot how to what? If you're masturbating in my bedroom without me present, I will personally bend you over my knee and turn your ass into a collective welt!" I frowned upwards, and waited for a response... Then waited some more... and frowned again, stepping up the stairs and raising an eyebrow at the young man standing in front of my mirror, covering his privates. "Well? You forgot how to what?" I asked sternly, tilting his face down to get a look at him. He was taller, now, at about 6'4", but would have been skinny as a pole if not for the obvious muscles that spanned his whole body, which I was trying not to ogle. There was no reason to be rude, after all.
He blushed, waving a hand and equipping a set of simple boxers and a shirt, then some pants and a jacket. "Nothing! I was just.... examining the changes? It's been a while since I saw myself, is all."
"Oh? You don't see it when you log off?" I asked, surprised, and spun him around slowly, examining his new look from every angle. "It's quite dashing, and I like the sharp cheekbones and slim shoulders... have you chosen your Mage Look yet? Have you changed your Class?"
He grinned, and nodded excitedly. 'Yeah!!! Oh, right.' -Jack-Skellington. "Yeah, I did!!! Want to see?" He opened his inventory and equipped a long black double-breasted sailor's jacket and pants, -covered in needless buckles and straps like a Mid-1990's Goth Scene,- then a sleeveless, deep hooded cloak to go over it all. He threw the hood up, and immediately a magical shimmer appeared over his face, and an exceedingly creepy white porcelain mask replaced the shimmer as he tucked his long blonde hair into the hood.
I raised an eyebrow slowly, looking him up and down, and nodded seriously. "That is legitimately impressive... the Goth Wizard is a Theme I can get behind, and the staff I made for you actually matches, surprisingly enough." I presented the staff from my inventory, as well as the 'Wand of the Conductor' that the Lvl 25 Bard had used. "The wand isn't really useful unless you're a Bard, but it's still worth some money."
He pulled back his hood, the mask dissipating, and accepted the staff with a grin. "It is delightfully dark, I love it!!! Thank you so much!!!" He squeezed me in a hug, picking my 5ft tall frame up and shaking me around a bit.
"Dear, as much as I approve of your enthusiasm, you must remember my state of dress?" I raised an eyebrow down at him with a smirk, and he squeaked, dropping me instantly. "And never drop a lady when you're holding her; very bad manners." I added after landing lithely. (I'd expected to be dropped.)
"Sorry." He mumbled, looking down at me with another blush.
"It's alright, so long as you learn from that mistake. Now, unless you plan to stay the night and snuggle with me, do you need anything else?" I asked, laying down on my bed and keeping eye-contact; being able to see his face made my game much, much more fun, but I had to be careful... He was a delicate one, my favorite type, and I wanted to be sure I didn't sour my budding kinship with the Party just for my fun, nor did I wish to make him truly uncomfortable. My game was simple: nervous was good, but scared was bad.
He looked honestly indecisive, before clearing his throat and pulling his hood back up, hiding behind the Mask. "I appreciate the offer, but I-I think I've taken enough of your time, so I'll-Uhm... I'll see you tomorrow? Yes, tomorrow!" He logged off in an instant, disappearing in a gently plume of sparks.
"Hmph... running away is no fair... let's look at this Update, then, since I'm not working..." I headed downstairs and poured myself a glass of tea from a pitcher I had made, sitting on top of an Elemental Trap for Cold; the trap was pretty weak considering I cast it at Level 4, but it kept my drink ice-cold so it was fine. My couch was L-Shaped, perfectly shaped for me to lean back, snuggle into the warm couch, and sip my tea while I read the Update and it's summary.
'Update 14.6.1 Alchemist Nerf Main Points!!!
1: Alchemist Acid Slimes can't Duplicate Magic Items anymore. (Non-Magical unchanged.)
2: Alchemist Potion Damage is now determined by the stats of the Player, not the Enemy!
3: Alchemist Servants can only share one Skill with their Owners, decided by the Alchemist that gives the Contract! (Return to the same Alchemist later and it can be changed.)
4: Alchemist Artillerists can still make Guns, but their Damage has been Nerfed!
5: Lucky Items have been Nerfed; No Luck Modifiers to Dmg allowed! Instead Lucky weapons will increase Luck (+10)
6: Artificers are now incapable of Changing the Enchantments on their Weapons instantly in Combat; Enchant Time has gone up to 1min!
7: Battle Medics receive a Low-Level Aura, heals 2hp a Second and grants resistance to Poison and Miasma.
8: Added a Sliding Scale of Growth for Potion Prices; NPC's will have more potions available, at slightly lower prices.'
'Hmm... that isn't that bad... my killing a Lvl 25 with a few potions probably pissed people off. I guess they had to make sure it didn't happen again... and the removal of the Slime Fabrication makes sense, I knew they'd do that eventually; they can still make non-enchanted Items, and I can now Enchant them properly. The sliding Potion Prices was probably in recognition of how much more popular potions are going to get for a little while, before slipping back down if I don't do anything. My dungeon and Shop mixture will hopefully manage that situation properly, here in the Mortal Realm... and a Luck of 30 will be legitimately amazing... for as long as it lasts, because they'll Nerf that as well.' I nodded and opened the Dungeon Guide I'd found, which listed every monster I could have in a dungeon, and how that whole process worked; it was more complicated than I'd expected, and far more expensive.
Every monster costed money, the size of your dungeon costed money, and the Level of your dungeon costed money. Every Level was 100gold, ever 1000ft squared on the surface(1Million sqft) was 500 Gold, every monster that you bought was 10gold per Level; Mini-Bosses were 50 per Level and Bosses were 100 per Level, unless you had a Phase-Type which was 150 per level. That meant it was only worth it if you had Three Mini-Bosses and one Boss, (a Level 20 or above dungeon,) or if you intended to make the dungeon bigger at a later date; not needing to pay for another Mini-Boss later would save you a good chunk of change. Altogether, to achieve the dungeon I had designed, it would cost me 11,750$. A cool 12K to open my own Dark Gate.
That's not even including the cost of my Shop, which would be significantly less, but still expensive; I could buy a spot in the city for 1,000$, or pay Rent of about 200$ a month, (easy choice,) and then spend enough money to stock the shelves. Once that was ready, I would have to have Employees. The Merchant's Guild (the IRL Financial Lawyers who made sure everyone followed finance-related laws, essentially the Digital IRS,) could provide me an NPC that knew basic Alchemy for 500$ a week, or I could hire a real person from them for significantly more, because Minimum Wage is enforced here just like everywhere else in the Virtual Worlds. Renting an Unskilled NPC was also possible, considering as soon as I figured out the Gestalt Sphere I would be able to leave that in the shop, safe, and just have the NPC feed herbs into a Hopper and shelve the resultant bottles; this was considered Unskilled Labor, according to the Bot I chatted asking questions about the process.
All in all, for startup Capital I would need about 20-25K$, and I would need a Revenue of 5K$ per month to make profit, which, in terms of Business Startups, wasn't actually that bad at all; I could also phase it in, opening my store first and profiting off of that and my adventures for a bit and starting the Dungeon at Level 20, if necessary, which would only cost about 5K more, at 17,100$.
The cup in my hand had lost it's bitter chill, which was my sign that it was time to go to bed and get some sleep; I had several different Dungeons to Conquer, tomorrow.