They ate dinner in silence. The roar of the fire was one of her favourite sounds. It had the same cathartic effect of hearing rain patter as it falls. However, this time it only made the full room feel emptier with the way the sound echoed around.
The fear of impending danger struck her the greatest. The others had experienced that before but it was a first for her. She had mostly lost her appetite but the stew could possibly be her last good meal for a while so she ate as much as she could stomach. Geralt stayed beside her the entire night as if it were to make sure that she knew that he was there for her through it all. His fingers brushed her side, his thigh touched hers, his presence was warming.
The pain in her cheek has mostly subsided bar the times in which she'd move her face. It gave her some sort of reality to hold onto, though. Between the fear she had for Geralt, the soldiers and sleeping with him, she needed something to remind her of reality. Something tangible that she could feel. That pain. It kept her in her place and let her know where she was.
Geralt explained to Cirilla and Jaskier her run-in with the soldiers as she found all of the dried meats and fruits in the house and packed them. She took as much as they could carry without being slowed down. She had some orens saved for a rainy day and by that point, it was more than a rainy day. It was a storm. The type of storm that shook every fibre of her being.
*
She tried to convince them to leave the following day as they had travelled for days and it meant that she had time to prepared some potions for Geralt and dry more food. It would have also given her more time to do something about her animals.
Geralt agreed that they could stay until after she sold all of her livestock. She did not have a plan for her cat, however. She did not want to part with it but there was no way that it would be able to travel with them. It was also not feasible to just leave her cat there when she was not sure when she would return.
Her tabby was in Geralt's lap. It was unsurprising to her by that point. It pained her to have to say good-bye to it. The creature that kept her sane. The one that brought her comfort and eased her loneliness. Her companion. She scratched the cat's head which elicited a low purr and it was like the tabby knew that they were going to part ways.
Nobody spoke. There was too much to say and far more to ignore. The air suffocated her. Too much was happening for her to truly comprehend the magnitude of it all. Her entire life would be uprooted. Her home abandoned. It was the price she had to pay to be with Geralt.
She got Geralt to slaughter a number of her animals so that she could smoke them. It would provide sustenance for a while. As she dried and smoked two lambs, Geralt destroyed the furniture. He wanted to make the place look ransacked so her disappearance had some merit.
He wanted to make it look like the soldiers had scared her from her own home. Made her fear for her safety so badly that she escaped the town.
He slept with her that night. His arms wound tightly around hers. He kept her grounded. Reminded her that she was not alone. Not anymore. Never again. Geralt was going to be there for her when she needed him, when she didn't need him, and even if she didn't want him there.
He knew that he had a lot of making up to do and he intended to spend the rest of his life doing so. He held her all night and would not sleep until her muffled sniffles and cries stopped and she stilled in his arms.
*
She left for the market early in the morning. The sparse light gave her a little cover but it also gave her more time. It took a while to round up her animals and she had to take them all herself to avoid any suspicion. The walk was beautiful, as always, but she took the time to take in every detail one last time.
The jewel green trees were lightly illuminated by the sun, of which small rays would peek through. She let herself briefly stop to feel the rough bark and smell the rain-soaked ground before she got back to the task at hand.
She had sold all of her animals for 10 marks. Not a lot. Far less than they were worth but it needed to be done. She would not be able to care for them once she left and it also meant that they had a little more money.
The mark on her face had darkened into a bruise which she tried to hide from those in the market. A few people asked and she gave them a weak, unbelievable lie before they felt uncomfortable enough to leave her alone. It was a horrible trip to the market for her but she bought a loaf of bread for breakfast. She kept the eggs the hens laid that morning for them.
*
She tried not to cry as she made her way back to the little cottage she could call home no longer. She'd already parted ways with her animals and now, she needed a way to remove her attachment with her cat.
Geralt was awake when she got back. He waited by the door for her. He anticipated her tears. She was leaving her life and everything she knew behind because of him. And for him. He did not deserve her. 'Come here, love.' He kissed the top of her head as she sobbed gently into his chest. 'I know it's hard. I'm so sorry.'
He comforted her until she pulled away. She started to cook breakfast so that they could leave as soon as possible. She feared the return of Nilfgaard so badly. Geralt roused Cirilla and Jaskier for breakfast and then she said good-bye.
She said good-bye to her life for her new one.
*
The walk was harsh but the weather made it much worse. Geralt had caught wind of a monster in the mountainous regions north of Sodden and the rain made everything slippery. The narrow paths of the mountain made it difficult for them to walk. Geralt walked in front to guide Roach through the perilous trek.
She almost fell over the side but Jaskier caught and steadied her. If he hadn't, she was certain that she would have fallen to her certain death. As much as she feared the dangerous journey, she feared Nilfgaard far more. The thought of them finding her again sent fear through her body, freezing her like ice.
She pushed the fear out of her mind and followed Geralt. It was all that she could do by that point. Survive. Step by step, day by day. She had never travelled before, nor has she walked so far in one go. Her feet began to blister and she grew tired.
Jaskier seemed to have been accustomed to the tiring journey whilst Cirilla and Geralt were superhuman. They had much more strength, power, and stamina than she did. The heavy rain and strong midday sun made it unbearable to walk. It was humid and the air was thick. It was hard to breathe and all she wanted was to sit and rest but Geralt refused. He insisted that it was too dangerous to stop until they got to Sodden.
She felt guilty when Geralt helped her onto Roach. Not only would the conditions be horrible for Roach but everybody else was walking. She insisted that she could walk but Geralt saw right through her. 'Let me take care of you for once.' He was stern and she nodded in resignation, too tired to argue.
She felt the relief instantly. Being off of her feet was delightful even despite the fact that her dress clung to her skin and it was impossible to breathe. She was just grateful for the respite. Geralt kept on high alert, his hand above his sword at all times.
It would have been quiet but for Jaskier's singing. She knew well enough that it no longer bothered Geralt and he had actually grown to somewhat enjoy the singing. She could not say for certain how much he enjoyed it but she knew that he did.
Geralt did not say much. He waited for her to initiate conversation but she did not feel like it. She grew more and more exhausted the further they travelled. The furthest she ever went was to the market but this was much, much further. So much so that they reached Sodden at nightfall.
As soon as they entered the town, Geralt was greeted by a woman. She was stunning, curly brown hair with eyes to match and a multitude of freckles. She felt a pang of jealousy looking at the other woman. Why was Geralt not with someone as stunning as her? She later learnt that the woman was a sorceress called Triss. It pained her to know that Geralt knew numerous stunning sorceresses but she pushed those thoughts aside like her fear of Nilfgaard.
Geralt insisted that it was safe for them to reside for the night there. He even thought that it was so safe that he insisted that the rest of them should stay in Sodden as he travels with Roach to his hunt. She tried to protest but she knew that he was right. There was a sorceress here that could protect them. She was also aware that if she was with him, Geralt may be distracted.
He went to the local inn and booked two rooms. One for them, and one for Cirilla. Jaskier had to pay for his own but it was an agreement between them so she said nothing. She winced in embarrassment when a loud gurgle erupted from her stomach once she smelt the stew bubbling on the fire.
It was nothing fancy or particularly cozy but it did remind her of the inns and taverns from back home. She had always assumed that they would all smell the same. Like stale ale. The stench poured from every inch of the establishment. By that point, she would not be surprised if the table were infused with it.
Geralt took the hint and ordered them all dinner and ale. They all ate quickly, each of them wanting to shed their damp clothes and take a bath. Her hair was soaked and the water dripped onto her shoulders. They were sat as close to the fire as they could without crawling into the fireplace but it was not enough to ease the chill in her bones.
*
In her room, she found a clean set of clothes for her and for Geralt. The clothing provided was exactly in her size. A beautiful ruby dress and when she showed it to Geralt, he explained that Triss had left them clean clothes.
Geralt walked over to her and gently kissed her. When she tried to reach for more, he shook his head to which she whined. The disappointment lessened significantly when he guided her to a warm bath. She lustfully watched him strip and climb into the steaming water. 'Are you not going to join me?' Geralt reached his arm out as she shook her head, embarrassed that he would be able to completely see her. 'Don't make me undress you myself.'
She paused for a brief second to think. In the end, she deducted that it would be less humiliating to undress than if he were to do so for her. His gaze was fixed on her. He wanted to see every minor movement she made and he wanted to see the way her chest rose and fell with each breath. If she timed it just right, Geralt would not see too much of her. As she slid out of her dress, her hands instinctively went to cover her breasts.
In displeasure, Geralt stepped out of the water and stood in front of her. His lips grazed her forehead before he took a step back to look at her. Arms crossed over her breasts. He pulled her arms down and kissed her on the lips. Slow. Sensual. 'Don't hide from me.' It was both a plea and a demand.
Before she could respond or even comprehend the situation, Geralt took her arm and pulled her into the water. She could not help the low moan from escaping as she stepped into the warmth. It soothed her aching muscles and she relished in the idea of finally being clean. Geralt sat behind her and she felt his start to clean her with a damp towel. 'Geralt'
'Let me take care of you for once.' He cut her off and moved her hair out of the way so he could wash her neck, her shoulders, and down her arm. All thoughts of protest dissipated when he started to massage her shoulders. It was the most intimate they had ever been. It was loving and it felt so right.
All of her thoughts and fears melted away for a moment of tranquillity. She had no home or clue as to what would happen from there on out but she did not care. Not at that moment, at least. She trusted Geralt and he made her feel safe. In spite of all that happened, she knew that he was there for her, that he loved her, even if he never said it.
The past few days had taken a lot of the fight from her, in certain respects, yet she had never felt more determined. She was determined to not let Nilfgaard destroy her life, but she also knew that she no longer had to fight Geralt. In spite of how utterly shit the past few days had been, they were also incredibly enlightening.
There was a lot that she needed to learn but none of it mattered. Not in the present. All that she cared about was the feeling of Geralt's hands. By that point, it was not even sexual. Just intimate. She loved it. By the time she returned the favour and cleaned the mess of the day from him, the water was cold.
They got out and before she really felt a chill, Geralt had changed the water. It was scalding but she loved it. She finally felt clean. The mental and physical grime had been scrubbed and burnt off of her body. She shifted closer to Geralt. It was not hard as his large frame took up much of the space but she shifted until she was practically sat on his lap with her head at his bare chest. 'Do you have to go tomorrow?' She spoke the same way she did when they slept together. Softly, tentatively, and growing tired.
Geralt reached his arms around her until they were wound and bound together. 'I have to.' His usually gruff voice was soft like hers and he kissed the top of her head. She sighed into his touch and closed her eyes. She wanted to treasure the moment more than anything. There were too many unknowns and there was no safety in her cottage anymore.
Their little bubble had popped and they were in the real world now. Permanently. If a mage asked her if she would trade knowing Geralt to have her life and home back, she would outright refuse. He was the best thing in her life by far. If it were not for him, she would probably be a lonely spinster in her little cottage. Living day to day, not thinking past the following morning. 'I don't want you to.' Her voice was whiny and unlike her but she was desperate to have him for just a little bit longer.
'I'll be back before you even know it.' He kissed the top of her head once more and started to absentmindedly play with her hair. He loved the feeling of it in his hands. It was taken care of, unlike his. Whilst he loved it, if he was ever asked to describe her, he'd speak of her eyes and how anyone could see the love and kindness in them. He loved that about her.
He gave her a reason to live. It was not about survival but actually having a life. Having people to love and care about. Having a reason and a purpose to be awake and alive. So, she treasured the sound of the slow beat of his heart, his cool body, and his soft lips. Whilst she could always feel his love, she wanted to remember the feeling of his touch, his body, and recite each piece of him to her memory. Until each part of him was engraved into her entire being.
The dangers of his job meant that nobody ever knew how he would return, if at all and so she was committed to not forget a single detail about him. At some point, Geralt roused her from her thoughts and lifted her from the tub. She noted that he was dedicated to taking care of her once he dried her and helped slip the dress around her body before he took care of himself.
She was not used to it. She was usually the one that looked after others but knowing that he was there to look after her without asking brought a warmth that replaced the fear that Nilfgaard instilled into her. She led him back to their room where the fire roared and its soft glow illuminated his yellow eyes.
'Sit down, Geralt.' He sat on the floor between her knees as she sat on the bed before she reached for his hair and combed it with her fingers. 'Thank you.' She barely even whispered but she knew that he heard it. Again, they relapsed into silence as she braided his hair away from his face. She draped her arms around his neck and touched her cheek to his damp hair.
The relished the quiet between them. It contrasted all of the noise that filled their lives beforehand. She needed nothing more than to just exist with him and he gave her just that. There was nothing she needed more than that stillness. After all of the running and moving, the feeling of being still and grounded was enough to regain most of that strength she thought she lost over the years.