-There was a broken heart begging to have someone listen-
He grabbed my hand...led me down a small path, through some thick bushes, and stopped before a beautiful lakeside that was hidden by thick bushes. There were chairs placed around the lake, a bench placed near the steps that were leading to the depth of the lake.
Under the bright full moon, the lake was crystal clear and glimmering. The subtle wind blowing made its waves roll before me. I took a deep breath. He was now staring at the flowing lake, looking for some words; both of us had agreed to talk, but there was just so much to say...he seemed like he didn't know where to start from.
"This lake is named after nano. There was a local industry that started using this lake as a dump for throwing away harmful chemicals. It killed so many lake animals. Nano immediately sued that industry, bought land around this lake and built a rescue centre for the injuries creatures." Demir spoke. He was talking about Madam Geena-the woman who had so much hope in us. She was a gem. Honestly, despite her naivety and belief in this world, she had been such an inspiration for me.
I remember when I had first arrived at the hill city. I was broken, tired and completely lost. The need to earn money for my family had been chewing on my sanity...making me feel so incompetent and miserable about myself.
She found me working in a local antique shop. My visible boredom...personality contrasting with the surroundings...made her take pity on me and pull me under her wing. From there, she was always uplifting me...telling me about her family.
Joining her for tea in the evenings was when I would learn about the silent miseries hidden in her luxurious life. She was lonely, bored and exhausted by her rich lifestyle. Her family consisted of rich tycoons who were too busy dealing with business deals to bother about spending quality time together. It was a loss. I felt it. Money had never equated to happiness for me; it was all about necessities and needs.
Feeling Madam Geena's pain and silent cry for company, I would try my best to act as a family member for her. Despite being horrible at cooking, I would try for her. And she, being the gem she was, she would always accept my treats with a happy smile. It was so comforting bonding with Madam Geena and being loved by her. She reminded me so much of my own miserable grandmother. She took care of me, gave me a job...but I never knew her kindness would in return burden me for life.
Demir had always been Madam Geena's favourite grandson. She used to tell me about him being a mischievous teenager. The gleam in her eyes, the adoration...it showed how much Demir meant to her, and honestly, hearing about how charming he was and his mischievousness...I, somehow, didn't mind listening to Madam Geena talk about her grandson. It had been wrong of her...wrong of me to listen, but the burdens, the sense of gratitude...they would always keep me weighed. When she asked me to marry her grandson...begged me to take care of him, I couldn't really say no. I should have. It would have saved me. But I didn't.
Now, as I thought about the woman who both healed and broke my heart, I couldn't help but miss her terribly. I owed her so much. She hadn't told me about her grandson's past, but that doesn't mean she meant ill. She was one of my biggest fans. I loved her for that. Having her be in a coma for so long had been tough. Part of me was happy that she was finally at peace. She deserved that.
"She was a gem," I agreed, trying to keep my emotions at bay. Despite being adored by her, only Demir had the right and permission to call her nano.
"She loved you so much," Demir then turned towards me, eyes gleaming earnestly. "She threatened to leave you everything in inheritance if I didn't marry you," he confessed. My eyes widened in shock.
I didn't know that.
To go to such an extent. I knew that she had offered money to the family, but this...this was blackmailing and making me seem like a complete gold digger. What was she thinking?
"Demir, I-" I wanted to tell him that I had no idea that she was blackmailing him. I had no idea that she was doing so much for me. I never meant for this to happen.
"I was so mad at her," he continued as if I hadn't even spoken. "I was jealous that she was picking a complete stranger over her own family, hurt that she wasn't bothering about my emotions and forcing me to marry so ordinary and below our status. My father had done that...she was doing just the same...I was hurt because she was the only one I thought was on my side...who understood me, but it seemed as she really wasn't."
Listening to his words...his hurt and his thoughts about me really pained. It took seconds to have thick tears roll down my eyes, anguish embrace me tightly, but he was quick to wipe them away.
"But then I saw you," he spoke, voice echoing with so many emotions. "That day Nano introduced you to me at the restaurant, it was like I knew you would be dangerous. The walls I had built...I knew that you had the power to tear them down with a single glance. That is what your eyes did to me. You never met your gaze with me until our wedding day, and I purposely avoided them because I was in danger; in danger of falling...in danger of moving on. I couldn't. You weren't supposed to make me feel just like my father. I wasn't supposed to understand my father...and learn about the power of truly adoring someone. Hurting you was the only way I was saving my ownself."
Now, I was openly sobbing. The pain...the hurt...the anguish...all those emotions I had fought against, they were roaring out loud, taking me back towards the dark place I had rescued myself from. I didn't want to hear his side, hear he had reasons for making me feel this heartbroken because it would take away my reasons for hating him.
"Don't do this." He quickly grabbed my hands that were now covering my face, his own expressions looking so broken and pained. "There should be no more tears caused by me." His voice cracked, thumbs continuously rubbing over my knuckles. I didn't listen to him. I couldn't. This time...I had to show him my pain and my tears. He had to know what he had truly done to me.
"You have been so cruel to me, Demir," I continued crying, my voice so accusing and so full of pain. "The day I saw you-" It was my time to confess. "In fact, the day Madam Geena started telling me about you... my heart felt so alive and naive. It was ridiculous of me, but I had truly fallen for you. I had been taught about fairytales...and you were it for me. You ruined me...made me forget how to truly care about people. Opening my heart for anyone is no longer an option. You took that away from me." Immense angry fuelled through my veins and replaced my tears. "You took that away from me," I repeated, pulling my hands away from his grasp. "Zaheer, who never even talked to me, has shown me more respect than you ever showed to me. In trying to save yourself, you crushed my soul, and you don't really do that to the people whom you claim to adore."
"But I did...I do." He quickly grabbed my hands again in a desperate plea, eyes begging for me to believe him. The wind was lightly caressing our faces, the subtle rolls of the waves were echoing the intensity of our emotions and words. "The moment I saw you, all my demons turned real. I was in a dark place. You were the promise that kept haunting me. Falling for you created such havoc for me. I was lost...and the only times, I felt like looking for the shore was when I felt your soul calling out to me. You were my weakness and my strength. This intensity is what scared me...this obsession and pain were what tortured me. I had dealt with loss. I didn't want to go down that road again. I didn't." His voice cracked. My tears were back escaping from the corner of my eyes.
"But when Meeran came back in your life...you chose her, Demir," I countered, voice so lost and low.
"No, I didn't-"
"You knew about my feelings, Demir. You knew that you had tortured me enough for always allowing Meeran to hold a big part of your life. My pain and insecurity should have made sense to you, but it didn't when it came to her. In fact, I had told you about my past...how badly my grandfather used to treat my grandmother. You didn't bother about the damage you were doing when you decided to strike me for her. It was a dark place I never wanted to visit, yet you pushed to towards it. You chose to destroy me for your first love, so you did choose her over me."
"No, no." He started promising, grip tight on my hand. "I never did. I never struck you for her. It was my own fear...my desperate need to keep clinging to the past. When I found out that you hid something like that for me...I felt terrified...scared by how intensely hurt I had felt by your actions. You...that was the fact haunting me. Not her. Only you. I told you I am never an abuser. Hurting you has been a defence for me, but it only broke me further. Seeing your tears makes my own heart bleed. To pull me out of the dark place, I have worked with my counsellor-doctor. I promise...I will never break your heart again because there will be nothing left of me if I do." His voice reached octaves, eyes gleaming with unshed tears and repressed fear. This was him putting his heart out in the open...hoping that I would give it another chance, but how could have, when I was so terribly scared. Just like him.
"But how can I forget the pain, Demir?" I cried. "You promise to change. In fact, you have shown me a tender side, but how can I expect you to spare me when you have so brutally crushed it? You slapping me showed that you never respected me. Your temper had no problems throwing my past straight into my face. I showed you my wounds...and you used it as a bait to torture me. How can you ever make me believe that you will cherish me...treat me with respect? I believe that you care, but I know that you never will respect me. Did you ever raise your hand at Meeran? Did you ever let your temper abuse her?" I questioned, knowing well that he had never hurt her...never abused her. This was all for me.
He turned speechless for a second. Eyes staring intensely into mine, face reflecting under the full moon. His gaze moved over my angered expression, furrowed brows, and he gently started smoothing the creasing on my forehead, making my patience run thin, and then gave me a sad smile.
"I never did." He sounded so defeated and pained. Like he knew what his confession would do to me.
I closed my eyes in agony. "My point exactly."
"Losing her was when I entered a dark place." He continued bruising my heart. "I was guilty and full of regret. But, even after losing her, I didn't lose myself...my everything. Her loss made me bitter...but days without you made me no longer bother about anything. You were, are and will always be my universe...my everything." I opened my eyes at that. He was breaking past my shield. I didn't like that.
"I-I-"
"She never terrified me. You did. She was safe, but you were the one who haunted my senses. Your face...your eyes...they would never leave my mind. Even when I was hurting over losing Meeran and missing her, it was your eyes that filled my dreams. Every place I looked...I only saw you. I never hit Meeran because I wasn't dealing with overwhelming hurt and confusion. It was never about respect, but about me being in a terrible place. I am not there anymore. I told you I am not an abuser...and I will never go back to that place again."
"How could you be so sure?" My voice broke, yet again.
"Because I know you are it for me. I am sorry that I hurt you, Maya" He caressed away an invisible stray of hair away from my face, making me shiver. "I am sorry that I was such a terrible husband. Breaking your heart is something I will never forgive myself for. Ignoring your love will be one of my biggest regrets. But I am not sorry for falling for you. I am not sorry for adoring you. I am not sorry for begging you for one more chance. I know this is selfish of me, but I want to fight for you. And this is why I am giving you a choice. I will let you go if you say no. I will sign the papers, but I won't stop loving you." he spoke. This was what I had wanted to hear for so long. This was what I needed. I was sobbing again, knowing how messed up everything was, wishing to close off my emotions again because this was hurting...this was hurting badly.
"You know people will consider me extremely weak for giving this another chance," I weakly reasoned. "People will question...criticize...eye our bond with frowns and disappointment."
"I won't let anyone dare to say a word about you...us." His gaze turned dark. "In fact, people don't even matter. They don't know what we have is real...so worthy. They don't know our story. By giving me another chance, you will not be forgiving me for the abuse, but you will be allowing me to cherish you for life."
"And, what about me asking Zaheer to wait?" I whimpered. "What about the man who only chose to respect me and asked for no promises? What about him?"
"The only person I care about is you," he cooed. My heart broke at that. Zaheer would be hurt. Just like I got hurt. This cycle would repeat over and over again. Someone had to put an end to it. Someone had to stop this.
"No," I shook my head, backing away from him. "I can't." It hurt my heart to say this, but I knew the pain I felt when Demir had apparently chosen his first love. That crush of hope. I didn't wish it upon anyone.
"Maya,"
"I am sorry, Demir," Tears were frantically flowing down my cheeks. "But I can't do what you did to me. Zaheer is a good guy...worthy to be loved, so I want you to let me go. Forget us. I promised you a month. That is all I can give." And with that, I turned around and rushed away from him.
My heart was so badly hurting...sanity completely wrecked. All my emotions were out in the open now. I had made my choice, but it was so badly hurting me. I was breaking...tearing up. Everything seemed so tangled, painful and torturous. I had made a choice, but why did I feel like I had made a huge mistake. Nothing felt right...now that I was feeling again...letting him inside my heart again.
His intense gaze...his words...promises...images of his sad smiles...they were suffocating me, making me feel so much. This was a mess. A big mess. A torturous mess. He had broken me...and feeling healed by him now felt so threatening and painful. Without my walls and shields, I was feeling so vulnerable now...so weak and lost.
I rushed back to the hotel, not bothering about who saw me. It was late at night, so there was hardly anyone in the gardens. I wanted a warm hug...sweet warmth...someone to caress my open wounds and mend them with care.
My heart felt like it was breaking all over again.
***
Zaheer was sitting in one of the chairs left in the gardens, hiding away in the shadows. It was dark in the night...and his heart just seemed silent. A sense of betrayal and sorrow was toying inside his soul. He knew that he wasn't like the city boys...couldn't compete with them, but that didn't mean that his heart was numb to complicated emotions. He dreamt...cared...perhaps too deeply, but his emotions were just like his personality-simple and honest.
Maya had been the city girl whom he had adored since he was a little boy. Her lifestyle...her humbleness and attitude all had been fascinating to him, but he was a fool to think he could compete.
After accidentally stumbling down a secret path, he had found himself standing behind thick bushes and see Demir and Maya stand in front of the lake...so sounding engrossed and emotional. It broke Zaheer's heart to see this. But instead of confronting the couple, he decided to just head back to the huge grounds. It wouldn't be right to interrupt.
Despite whatever, he respected Maya. He didn't want to embarrass her in any way. She had never led him on...had been clear about her first marriage and given him the choice to choose whether he wanted to wait. This was all his choice now.
He chose to get hurt. He chose to break his own heart. He chose to act like a fool. It was all him. However, he wasn't the only one hurting. When rushing back away from the couple, he had almost stumbled into another girl-the bratty girl who had just this morning thought of him as a valet and given him her car keys. He had been so furious, felt so insulted...but he didn't bother correcting her. He was raised as a gentleman. And no gentleman ever insulted or raised their gaze in front of a woman...they treated women with respect.
Thus, after begrudging parking the car for the rich girl, he had handed the main counter her car keys...while shaking his head over the rich city girl's snobbish ways. Loud and headstrong girls annoyed him so much. He despised arrogance and elitism.
However, upon nearly stumbling into the girl...listening to her try to suppress sobs...had caught him off guard. The rich princess had seemed so rude, but her vulnerable side had him feeling curious...almost intrigued. From what he knew about Maya was that she was a good girl with manners. This rich girl seemed so loud, arrogant and so complicated. He didn't know why she was crying, but somehow he had an idea. He could recognize the sobs of a miserable and broken heart.
Simply pulling out a tissue paper and handing it to her, he had walked away from the girl. She didn't bother saying thank you or anything, but the quick grabbing of the tissue paper had made him half-smile and shake his head. 'Rich city girls' he had thought.
Anyhow, hiding away in the shadows, he now lightly dabbed his eyes and got up. Village men were taught to never cry. It made them seem weak and not capable of doing fieldwork. Though, right now, his emotions weren't that overwhelmed to make him like crying...but there was still a level of hurt that teased his tears.
Walking under the bright full moon, his shoulders were drooped and heart was disappointed; though, the pain was bearable...but he hated how big of a fool he was feeling. It was about time to head back home.
A/N: Thank you so much for waiting, reading, voting, commenting, adding my book to your reading list...
Apologies for taking so much time. It is just this coronavirus that is so legit scary and terrifying. I mean this is the value of a human being. All this race for power...and a single virus has been so powerful against us.
Stay safe everyone!!
Stay blessed, happy and healthy
Keep smiling.
Q1. What do you think about this chapter?
Q2. Who do you think Zaheer nearly stumbled into?
Q3. Which team are you supporting?