I roll over as the sun peeks in through the curtains. I've only been asleep for three hours, tops. A soft throb pulses around my temples. Memories of last night filter in. I put a finger to my lips, remembering the way Flint's felt there. When I first kissed Cam, I thought I wanted to squeak with joy, but this felt different.
I try to fall back asleep, but my stomach is growling so loudly I'm pretty sure a monster has invaded my body. I crawl out of bed slowly. Before leaving the room, I check my phone, but there are no messages. I shrug it off and head downstairs to see if there's anything to munch on.
I stop at the entryway to the kitchen in awe of the scene happening in front of me. It was quiet coming down the stairs, so I wasn't expecting everyone to sit down for lunch. Instead, Dom and Derek are sitting across from each other at the table. Dom is on his phone, smiling down at it while Derek plays with his Nintendo Switch. Lucille floats gracefully around the kitchen, putting things away and in her own world.
She stops moving when her eyes land on me, carefully observing everyone. She cautiously takes a few steps towards me. Her soft features harden, probably out of fear that I'm going to go off on her. The fact that anyone in my family could look at me in that way breaks my heart.
"Hungry," she asks?
"Yeah." I clear my throat, attempting to get rid of the lump that's forming.
Dom peaks up from his phone and nods. I turn away and start to walk over to where Lucille has the bread on the counter. I tap her shoulder, and she spins, her hand bracing her chest like she's waiting for impact. I cower backward.
"I'm sorry." I lower my gaze. "I'm sorry for the way I treated you. You've been in my life since I was a baby. That wasn't right of me to speak to you in that way. I want you both to be happy. It's going to take a while for me to feel better about what you two did, but I don't hate you, Lucille. I never could."
She's been there for me when my mom wasn't. So apologizing was easier than I thought.
"We were in the wrong, Marnie. We never meant to keep it from you. I love you as if you were my own daughter. I can't force you to like me, and in no way do I expect you to think of me as a motherly figure. But I do care a lot about you, about all of you."
"I know," I whisper.
She opens her mouth but is interrupted by dad's booming voice calling my name. Again, I'm frozen in place. I stare off behind Lucille at the large sink, void of any dishes. Then, finally, the kitchen grows quiet, minus dad's footsteps and Derek's game. I close my eyes and wait for him to yell, but instead, I'm greeted by a friendly hand on my shoulder.
"Can we talk?" His voice softens.
Tears spring to my eyes. I haven't spoken to dad all week, and even though I'm angry as hell, I miss him so much.
"Marnie?"
I try to hold back the tears, so he doesn't realize how hard this is on me. I fail miserably.
"I'm so sorry, dad," I sob.
He spins me around to face him and pulls me into a hug. I wrap my arms around his middle and hold on tight. I repeat the word sorry over and over as he gently smooths out my hair with his hand.
"It's gonna be okay, Marnie. Come with me."
I stay buried in his shoulder as he leads me to his office. It's been a while since I've been here. The room is dark with a block of deep mahogany wood. There's only one window in here, and it's covered by a heavy thick brown curtain. I settle into one of the tan cushioned chairs, pull my legs up, and then fold them in. Dad pulls the second chair closer to mine and takes a seat.
"Marnie, I'm sorry. I should have talked to you or given you some kind of clue about what happened with mom. I tried to tell you many times."
He rests his hand on the arm of the chair and sighs. I get a good look at him. I feel partly to blame for his heavy eyelids and the purple bags under them.
"I was afraid to tell you all these years. You're my little girl, and the thought of telling you how I screwed up made me sick to my stomach. I knew it would come out eventually, but I hoped that I'd be the one to tell you."
His eyes water as he speaks. He would never intentionally hurt me. An immense amount of guilt piles up over me like a cloud looming overhead. I shouldn't have blown up the way I did, but it felt like my world was ending at the moment. The one person who I truly loved hurt me, and I reacted out of anger.
"I'm sorry I acted the way I did, but you have to see it from my perspective too. Finding out after all these years that the man I looked up to cheated on the woman he loved made me question a lot of things."
Dad sits up straight and presses his lips hard together. He scrubs his face hard with his hands. When he pulls his hands away, wetness forms just under his eyes.
"I know what I did was stupid and wrong. But I wasn't thinking about the consequences back then, only that I was unhappy, and Lucille was there for me. She allowed me to vent, and as time went on, I began to see her in a different light," he says.
Images of what happened last night loop in my head. I'm no better than he is. Last night I technically cheated on Cam. I kissed another guy because he'd been there for me the same way Lucille had been for dad. Dad rests his hand on mine, pulling me from my thoughts.
"I'm not asking you to forgive me. I know that forgiveness will take time. I honestly never meant for it to go this far. I'm still trying to clean up the damn hole I dug myself in with the people of this town. Honestly, though, I don't care what the people out there think of me. All I care about is you. I hope that one day you can forgive me, but for now, I'm asking for a second chance." His voice cracks.
Seeing dad on the verge of tears breaks me down. Everyone deserves a second chance, and I'm starting to realize that maybe Cam does too. Come Monday. I have a lot of feelings to sort through. I hope I can handle it all.
"I can do that," I whisper. "I love you so much, Dad," I cry.
We both stand, and he pulls me into another hug. "Love you too, sweetheart," he says.
"Hey, you still want to get that tattoo or piercing," he asks?
"Of course, I do." I grin.
"How's Saturday?"
My tears turn to smiles. "Saturday is great."
My mind wanders to the gift card in my bag from Flint. He knew I didn't need the money, yet he still spent his hard-earned cash towards a gift for me. Then he also played at my party for free. Using the card makes me feel like I'm taking his money.
"Hey, what's up?" Dad asks.
"Flint gave me a gift card for my birthday. It's fifty dollars for Lou's."
"Oh." He leans against the chair. "Are you two getting serious?"
I shake my head... "No, we aren't. He shouldn't be buying me these things. His family needs the money. I feel guilty using it."
I lower my head. I'm ashamed because it feels like I'm using him as a backup friend.
"It came from a good place, Marnie."
Silence passes between us.
"You like him," dad says in almost a teasing voice.
"Oh my God, dad. I told you I'm not talking about boys with you." I'm surprised by the laughter that escapes me.
Dad laughs. "Sorry, kid. So, Saturday, you and me?"
"It's a date."
Dad smiles just as the office door flies open, and I get soaked with a huge wall of water. Standing at the doorway, Dom and Derek have fully loaded water guns aimed straight at us.
"Marnie, quick under the desk," Dad yells.
I follow him under and sitting there are two super soakers filled and ready to go. Now I know most parents would punish their children for even thinking about playing with water guns in the house, but in my family, it's normal. So, although I can't remember the last time, we joked around like this.
"Boys, my office is off-limits," dad says.
Dom and Derek run as I load up and squirt mine right towards the hallway. Lucille joins dad and me, and we race to find the boys. She leads us into the kitchen, where a beautiful round cake with white fondant frosting sits on the counter. Dom and Derek shoot up from behind the counter and shout, "Surprise!"
I turn to dad and Lucille with watery eyes.
"We're sorry we missed your birthday, and we wanted to make it up to you."
"So, I can have cake for breakfast then?" I ask with a smirk.
I spend the rest of my Saturday indulging in cake and jamming in the music room with everyone. For the first time in a long time with the five of us in the music room, it feels like we're a family again. Of course, there are many things I still have to work on fixing, both with family and friends, but for now, I'm content playing music and spending time with my family. Losing myself in music is the perfect remedy for everything, but come Monday, I'll have to face the world again and try to figure things out the best I can.