Seokwoo feels sick when he wakes up the next morning. Chanhee and Juho were gone, leaving him alone, tucked underneath the blankets tightly. The room is sticky with the summer heat, uncomfortable and hot underneath the sheets.
He seems to only feel someone's hand on his shoulder after he realizes that today was their last day in the cabin. They were to leave tonight, and he had completely forgotten.
Turning over, Youngbin stares at him with wide eyes. "Are you going to pack your bag?"
Groggily, Seokwoo shifts off the blankets, groaning at the feeling of his shirt sticking to him further with his every movement. He peels it off, grimacing. "What time is it?"
"Nearly two," the brunette can barely get the last word out before Seokwoo's shooting up next to him, suddenly acutely aware of everything in the room.
"Are you serious!?" Seokwoo cries, crouching down in front of his dresser as he riles through his clothes, pulling them out to create a messy pile on the floor. He decides on an outfit for that day, turning around to grab his bag from Youngbin, who had been holding it since he'd woken the other up. "It's so late..."
Worried, Youngbin kneels down to help him pack. "We need to go in an hour or so..."
Seokwoo nods, before the realization dawns on him that he hadn't told Juho he was leaving tonight hits him. "Do... Do the others know?"
Shaking his head, Youngbin stands up after handing him another half-folded shirt. "No, only Sanghyuk."
So, Juho definitely knew already. He squints his eyes shut, willing for the other not to be mad. Though, why would he be? To him, they were a game of make believe, and he was unknowing of the fact that Seokwoo had only offered the concept of them fake dating to fuel his own selfish, twisted need. He bites his lip, cracking an eye open only after he can tell Youngbin's left the room, likely to go finish packing his own bag. He continues to slowly put his things away, standing up to grab anything else he sees of his lying around. Phone charger, actual phone... Had he really packed so little?
The worries from the beginning of the week seemed to already be so distant to him, he wasn't sure if he was ready to face them again.
A soft creak alerts him of someone entering the room, and Juho walks inside, slowly kicking it shut behind him. He looks tired, hair disheveled and shirt hanging off of his shoulder as he drags his feet back to his bed, falling into the mattress dejectedly. Seokwoo raises an eyebrow at him when he turns to watch him. "What's up?"
"You didn't tell me you were going so early..." The older whines, pulling himself up onto the bed so he can lay on his side, pouting. "I thought you'd be leaving tomorrow with us."
"Sorry, I guess it just slipped my mind," Seokwoo mumbles, suddenly extremely interested with the floorboards. Juho sits up, legs dangling off of the side of his bed. Seokwoo can barely see him kicking them idly in his peripherals. "At least we're both in Seoul, right?"
"Oh, yeah," Juho hums, "I forgot."
There's something dark opening up between them, something unsaid in the quiet that lingers on the back of Seokwoo's tongue, that he can't seem to push out for the life of him. He wonders if Juho feels the same, if this is fake to him, and then, how fucked up this was.
The darkness thickens between them when Juho turns away himself, giving up on grabbing the other's attention again as Seokwoo seems to be immersed with everything except him. They drift apart, unsure of what to do or say or how to act when there's nobody they need to pretend for, and an awkward tension fills the growing space between them.
"Are we faking with the others?"
Shrugging, Juho mumbles out his answer. "Everyone except Chanhee."
Setting his bag down, Seokwoo sits on the edge of his bed, finally looking back to Juho. "We have about an hour," he smiles, leaning back on his hands. "Anything you want to do?"
Juho sighs, shaking his head. His fingers drum restlessly along his now still legs, and it's his turn to watch the ground. "Nothing."
"Disappointing," Seokwoo sighs. Juho pouts. "Let's go hang out with the others, we barely did this week."
Unprompted and completely unexpected, Juho grumbles out a quiet, muttered answer. "Well, I did, while you were off fucking Jackson..."
There's an edge to the other's voice with the last two words he mutters. Seokwoo pauses, scoffing. "Sorry, come again?"
"Nothing," shaking his head, Juho gets up, dusting off his jeans though they weren't dirty in the slightest, "let's go see the others."
Grabbing his wrist as he tries to walk past him, Seokwoo holds the other still. "No, we're going to talk first."
Ripping his hand away, Juho glowers at him, and Seokwoo feels everything he'd felt during their first days together emerge again, ugly emotions rearing an uglier head as they grab for each of the two in the room. "No, we're not."
"Fine, then we're just going to go back to fighting?"
Angrily, Juho sits down next to him, hands pressed tightly together in his lap. Seokwoo lays back, groaning.
"Seokwoo." Juho starts, voice low and cold, distant, even. Seokwoo recognizes what he's doing instantly. He'd done it when he had to keep himself from feeling anything when his manager had belittled him, made him feel absolutely worthless before going into shoots. It was a dark way of coping that Seokwoo hated, and he never wanted to see Juho become so cold and emotionless as he had done far too many times before. He feels sick, turning to watch the other with worried eyes. "It's fine, I'm sorry, can we go?"
"No, because what I did bothered you, right?" Letting his voice take on a gentler tone, Seokwoo sits back up and reaches for the other's hands, sighing in relief when Juho allows him to hold onto them. "Don't try and hide from me, I know all of the tricks."
"Yeah," Juho shrugs, "I guess it does bother me a bit. I don't know." He shakes his head. "It shouldn't."
Seokwoo wants to confess everything then and there, but still feels he's tongue tied. He'd already fucked himself over, allowing himself to fall for the person whose first words to him were that he practically hated him and everything he stood for.
But, he finds he doesn't have to when Juho lets himself fall to the other's side, leaning against him sadly. "Seokwoo, why are we doing this?"
"To get back at Yugyeom," he lies, and Juho smiles.
"We both know that's not the main reason," Juho looks up to him, gaze soft and wavering with what Seokwoo can't distinguish as sadness or fondness. He's assuming it's the former.
Seokwoo pulls his lips into a tight line, trying not to focus on the other. "Why do you think we're doing this, then?"
Juho's answer comes as a soft breath against Seokwoo's cheek as he leans forward, as a hesitant kiss placed haphazardly on his bottom lip. Seokwoo can't bring himself to move until Juho's pulling away, to which the younger responds with an eager, desperate motion forward to chase his lips. Juho brings a hand up to Seokwoo's face, stopping him before they can continue. "I don't want to be hurt again," he worries, and Seokwoo's eyes harden with determination.
"Then you won't be."
Pulling his hand away, Juho hesitantly meets him halfway, hands curling tightly around Seokwoo's as their lips meet again. Seokwoo pulls one of his away to bring up to the other's hair, gently slotting his fingers through the fading blue strands as he cocks his head to the side, deepening the movements between them. Juho drifts forward, a hand falling against Seokwoo's waist to steady himself.
They pull away from each other carefully, eyes opening slowly as if when they do the scene will slip away from them forever, never to be found again. Though, when Seokwoo still sees everything in front of him just as it had been before, he lets out a soft breath of relief, closing his eyes again. Juho leans forward, falling into his chest. Seokwoo lays back onto the bed, anchoring the other to him with a hand on his waist.
"You're a horrible kisser," Juho laughs against his shirt, feeling the other gasp.
"I am not!"
"You really are..."
Seokwoo watches the world beneath him dismissively, feeling Chanhee's head bounce on his shoulder as he sleepily adjusts himself against the minor turbulence of the airplane. They'd be landing soon, back in Seoul. Seokwoo had no intention to approach his management, and barely found himself wanting to strike up a reunion with Hyungsik anytime soon.
When Seokwoo's phone chimes, he glances at it dismissively, smiling softly at the text on his display.
JUHO❥:
lmao okay so here's my address (LOCATION ATTACHED)
so maybe come over sometime when i get back?
PICTURE ATTACHED
ur bed was always comfier than mine :// it's mine now though. lmao sucks for u
He types out a quick response, turning to see Chanhee watching him through sleepy eyes.
"Hey," Seokwoo mumbles, embarrassment creeping up on his face, showing through his red cheeks and trembling, smiling lips. "What's up?"
Rolling over to rest against the older's arm, Chanhee lets out a bored sigh. "So, is it still fake?"
Paling, Seokwoo bites his lip. He shrugs, though, when he realizes Chanhee only felt the small shift of his shoulder under his head, he lets out a soft, calm breath. "I don't know."
"How do you not know?" Chanhee sneers, unsure of what the other means. He has his phone open in his lap, and Seokwoo notices a groupchat open. Youngkyun and Inseong are bickering back and forth, and Seokwoo misses the company of the other group already. "Isn't it obvious to tell if you have feelings for someone?"
Grinning, Seokwoo maneuvers his arm until he's wrapped it firmly around Chanhee's shoulders, pulling him closer to himself. "Not so much, kid."
"I'm literally twenty."
"Not so much, kid," Seokwoo repeats, a stern look crossing his face. Chanhee pulls his lips up into a facetious smile. "I don't know, we, uh..." Seokwoo pouts, clicking his phone display off. He forgets to hit send. "We kissed right before we left. We weren't recording or anything," his thumb traces the other's arm absently, nervously, "and I don't know, we're meeting up when he gets back home. There's something there, but..."
"But...?"
"I'm scared we'll back down."
Chanhee reaches over and strokes Seokwoo's hair gently, garnering the other's undivided attention. "Seokwoo..." He smiles faintly, gently and fondly caressing the other's hair.
"Hmm?"
Angrily, the younger's fingers twist around a handful of his hair, pulling it aggressively. "You're an idiot!"
Seokwoo reclines, swatting the younger away with a pained gasp. "You dick!" He notices a couple nearby staring at him in shock, and Chanhee answers their pretentious gazes before Seokwoo can take control of the situation.
"Is there something you need?"
They turn away quickly, muttering in hushed tones to each other while Seokwoo rubs his head, frowning at Chanhee. "That hurt..."
"I swear to God, you make me so mad..." Before Seokwoo can ask him to elaborate, Chanhee starts off on a tangent, crossing his arms. "You have something so good right in front of you. Can you stop acting like a child and just enjoy something for once? You're so dramatic about everything!" Chanhee turns to glare at Seokwoo, but at his shocked expression his own hardened features soften. "Just let yourself enjoy it. You like him, he likes you; it's obvious. Your fake relationship will be real. Isn't that what you wanted?"
Seokwoo can't bring himself to answer, only to nod in understanding at the other's words. Chanhee was right. Completely and utterly right.
"Yeah," Chanhee hums, leaning back over onto the other's arm as he pulls out his phone, "that's what I thought..."
Seokwoo watches himself in the mirror, toothbrush hanging from between his lips as he sleepily cards a hand through his hair. It was two in the morning, and he'd gotten home earlier that evening. He hadn't been able to sleep, suddenly acutely aware of the loneliness in his apartment. There was no Sanghyuk, screaming laughs echoing through the halls, or Youngbin to shush him while he himself was probably curled into his side, laughing right alongside him. No Jaeyoon, whose voice carried as he showed his camera yet another makeup tutorial, or Chanhee to complain as the older roped him into appearing on one of his videos. No Youngkyun or Taeyang, who raided the fridge and pantry at odd hours. Or even Inseong, who definitely appreciated the quiet and wouldn't disrupt it during the evening, but whose presence was always felt.
Or, Juho. Seokwoo definitely notices the emptiness in the space next to him. He hates the idea of his bedroom, with one bed tucked away in the corner, with four pillows and too many blankets for him to keep track of. He would give anything to go back to the cabin.
He finishes brushing his teeth, sighing as he rinses off the brush and sets it back in the holder on his counter. His phone plays music quietly from somewhere off in the apartment, probably in the kitchen, and Seokwoo goes off to find it.
The device is laying atop the table, and Seokwoo's fingers curl around it protectively, pulling it into his grip. He checks it, turns it off at the sight of no new texts, then turns the display off only to check once again. He does this four more times before giving up, heading off to his bedroom dejectedly.
He tosses his phone down onto his bed, collapsing beside it. The lights were already off, so he just pulls aside his comforter and tries to push the empty feeling to the side as he closes his eyes, wanting the music to continue playing so he didn't feel as lonely.
It chimes and he cracks an eye open, frowning.
JACKSON:
Hey. I know this is probably weird, but...
Seokwoo almost doesn't want to open the message to read the rest, but hesitantly swipes on the notification and watches as the text reveals itself fully, squinting against the light from his display.
JACKSON:
Hey. I know this is probably weird, but there's this party on Tuesday night and I was wondering if you wanted to go. Not as a couple, obviously, you can bring anyone you want, but I just really don't want to be stranded there without anyone I really know, haha. Hyungsik's going, if that changes anything. Let me know! I'll send you the details if you say yes :D!
Seokwoo hates the idea of it already. He was trying to escape the actor lifestyle, why would he want to go? He's about to send a response when another text catches him off guard, and, seeing the name of the contact, he clicks on it instantly. He knew where his priorities stood.
JUHO❥:
did you also just get a clapped ass invite for jackson's party
ME:
YES.
JUHO❥:
you gonna go?
ME:
That definitely depends.
JUHO❥:
on?
ME:
If you're going :D.
JUHO❥:
.
i mean
yeah why not
you'll be there
and i mean. free drinks
let's get it
ME:
Our first public event >:o.
JUHO❥:
oh shit yeah you're right
let's give 'em hell!