"There's something I have to tell you," Liz told Shay. In the beat of silence that followed Liz took a deep breath and turned her swing so they were facing each other. Guilt was simmering inside of her stomach and she felt herself get choked up, but she knew she had to force these words out. "It's about how I've been acting lately."
Shay sighed. "Let me guess. You're about to cover up your actions with some crap about how they're making you break ties with me or something like that."
Liz's eyes widened. "They really are! It was in the contract I signed."
Shay stared at Liz in shock. "You signed away your best friend? Just like that?"
As she realized how she'd put it, words abandoned Liz for a moment. "That's not what happened! At all!"
"Then please explain it to me because I can't believe you right now."
Liz took a deep breath. "In my contract it said that my manager has the right to advise me about my appearance, my friends, and my image. I thought when I signed that I could take or leave any of it, but now they're saying that if I don't take her advice they're going to drop me."
"So they're more important than me. Gotcha." Shay turned and stood. "Goodbye, Liz." She began walking away.
Liz felt a stab go through her heart. She stood and tried to grab Shay's arm, but Shay kept walking towards the exit. "Wait! That's not it! I thought you wanted this for me!"
Shay turned to her. Her face was blank. "I want my best friend." Liz's arms dropped and Shay continued to walk away.
"You're still my best friend," Liz said.
Shay scoffed. "Yeah. Right." She stopped at the gate and turned to Liz. "If I really was your best friend, you would have fought for me. But you didn't. You're becoming just like the rest of them. My cousin's boyfriend wrote a song for her. It's what made them popular, but once they got just a little taste of the big time, he dropped her like dead weight. He's married to some other singer now. My cousin was mad for him, but fame got to him. I guess it's getting to you, too."
Liz couldn't help but stare at Shay as she walked through the gate. She knew there likely wasn't anything she could do at this point, but she couldn't give up. She followed Shay to the sidewalk. "I'm not giving up," she said. Shay stopped. Maybe there was still something she could do. "I'm not giving up on our friendship. I've lost one best friend and I don't think I can stand losing another one."
"You think? You don't think you can? Maybe you should have thought about that a little sooner."
Liz looked down at her feet. "Shay, I know I've done wrong. I hate myself for it, but I can't change it. I can't rewrite my contract and I can't keep hanging out with you. I promise I'll call you all the time and I promise-"
"You do realize none of your promises mean anything to me anymore, right? You've already broken so many," Shay said as she turned around.
Liz furrowed her brow. "I know I have. I'm ashamed of myself for doing any of this. I didn't have a choice though."
Shay was silently crying, tears slowly making their way down the chiseled stone that was her face. "Traitor," she hissed.
Liz couldn't bring herself to raise her eyes, even though she was confused as to why Shay was using such a strong word. "I know I should-"
"No." Shay shook her head firmly. "You are a user. You used me to get here. Don't ever come find me again."
With those words, Shay turned around and walked away, and, Liz knew, out of her life. She couldn't take it anymore. Her knees buckled and she slumped onto the pavement. What had she done?
---
Liz was pacing nervously. The cap and gown she was wearing wasn't helping. If anything, they felt like they were trapping her body heat. The makeup she'd put on earlier would surely be gone by the time she gave her speech.
She adjusted the stole she wore and sighed. Even though she'd worked hard to get here, to be the valedictorian of the class, she felt like she couldn't do this. Everything felt like it was on the verge of pressing in and making it hard to breathe.
"Liz," said a calm voice. She looked up. The salutatorian was standing there, a smile on his face. "Calm down. Take a deep breath."
She nodded and did as he said, closing her eyes. "I don't know why I'm so nervous today."
He chuckled. "Well, your speech is the one everyone is supposed to remember." Liz gave him an annoyed look and he grinned. "And there she is! Still annoyed with me."
Liz rolled her eyes. "Who wouldn't be? You've tried to get ahead of me all through high school." She knew it was close - very close. There was only one test she hadn't scored the same as him on in four years, and that was the decider.
He shrugged. "I did my best. You just happen to be as smart as me." Liz shook her head at him, suppressing a smile. He was annoying, but she still liked his tenacity. It was the one thing she'd always admired about him. David had heard many of those rants - especially right after tests. Somewhere near the stage a teacher called for them to line up and get ready to march.
Liz looked at everyone, looking for Shay. When she finally found her, Shay acted like she didn't even notice. Liz sighed heavily as she walked out. This was going to be a long ceremony.
---
Her footsteps echoed as she crossed the stage. Liz focused on taking deep breaths as she walked to the microphone. She laid her papers on the lectern and looked up. Her eyes were naturally drawn to Shay, as they had always been when she did anything in front of the class. But, this time, she only found a cold, blank stare. She suppressed a shiver as she refocused on her notes.
"Classmates," she said, voice reverberating around the bleachers. "Friends. It's been four years since we first set foot in this building, this field. For some of us, it was the first time we met. I've known most of you since kindergarten, and you've grown in so many ways since then. For the ones I met on that first day, you've grown too. Sometimes we don't notice growth. Each and every one of us are like flowers. We may grow in different gardens and bloom at different times, but we all have grown in so many ways. Through challenges, through love, through loss, through road blocks that we felt was the end of our journey. We've come out of the other side refined, focused, looking forwards to the future.
"Through our journey, we've had many people assist us. Our families, the teachers, counselors, the principle. Friends. Friends we made right here. We want to thank everyone who has helped us get to this moment. Right here, right now, we are standing on the edge of our future. What does that mean for us? It means we have what it takes to be successful. We stand on the brink of bright futures. Some of us are going to college. Some are staying here to help the community. Some are focusing on their families. Some of us are taking time off for other pursuits. Whatever you have chosen, make the best of it. Take chances. Be happy.
"The reason we are here today is because of all of your hard work. You deserve this moment. You deserve that diploma. And, yes, some of you deserve to have a tassel tickle your nose for two hours." The crowd giggled and Liz smiled in return. "I want to congratulate each and every one of you in the class of 2019 for this achievement. Graduating high school isn't just a small step. It's a step that will impact your whole life. Never forget this moment. Never forget the people who made a difference in your life. And never forget David Johnson. He will never be able to walk across this stage. He's one that we've lost along the way. He was a major inspiration for me.
"As most of you know, we were dating before the accident, but what you may not know is that he taught me to play the guitar. He gave me something that I've used to get through the days I never thought I'd have to get through. He will always hold a special place in my heart and my memory. I know he was an inspiration to many others. He always reached out to lend a hand to his underclassmen, whether it was to show them how to get to a class or how to solve a math problem. Nothing was too small for him to help with, or too big. He played a large part in the community and he will never be forgotten by many. I hope you too will be like he was. It will help you no matter where you are going after this.
"Again, I want to congratulate each and every one of you on making it to this landmark in your life. I want to thank everyone who has helped me over the years. Not just the teachers and all the school faculty, but students. Students who may not realize how big of an impression you left on me. Students that may or may not be heading down my same path. But no matter what happens, I can't wait to see you all again."
Students clapped as I traded places with the salutatorian and found her way back to her seat. She ignored the tears that had formed when she spoke about David and let them slide down her cheeks. These were the only tears for him she'd wear with pride. They were from good memories of David, memories she hoped would never fade, even though she knew that they eventually would. Not all at once, but gradually. She'd forget the color of his shirt the day he finally asked her out. She'd forget the rain storm shortly afterwards that forced them into a library.
She may even forget the way her lips ached when a librarian interrupted them before they could have their first kiss.
Memories she'd never trade away. Memories she hoped and prayed she would never forget, even though they were painful.
---
Liz sighed as the car parked. Today was her first date ever. Some guy she'd only met once was supposed to meet her in this slightly crowded garden. She was supposed to act like she was falling for him or something. He was probably stuck up. Just like her, he'd been launched into the public eye seemingly over night.
She didn't want to do this at all, had no interest in hanging out with some stranger, but here she was. After what happened with Shay, she stopped saying no and stopped fighting the record company and her manager. After all, what else did she have to lose? She'd lost everyone that was important to her and, in doing that, she'd lost part of herself.
One of the doors on the car next to them opened and out stepped a guy she vaguely recognized. She supposed this was going to be her fake boyfriend. He was pretty cute, she supposed. "That's Gavin," said her manager from the front seat. "He's really sweet. We've made arrangements with his manager for this date, so he's totally clued into what we're doing." She went through a set of reminders as Liz opened her door and stepped out. They were all things they'd gone over on the drive. There would be someone with a camera following them around, so look invested. Smile a lot. Look happy.
She wasn't an actress, but she had to try.
Gavin smiled at her, but it didn't quite reach his eyes as he held out his hand to her. "Hi," he said.
"Ah, so we meet again," Liz said. The boy snorted a laugh at her and she tilted her head. Really? She shook his hand. "Liz."
"Gavin."
She nodded at him as she turned towards the park entrance. Maybe this wasn't going to be as bad as she thought. Maybe this would turn out well. She looked at her shoes as she smiled to herself.