That was my first day at Hogwarts. Remembering everything that happened on my first day was heartbreaking as I neared the end of my seventh and final year at Hogwarts.
A few friends had graduated. Jazz was no longer able to get me in trouble like she wanted to. It's not that we wanted to cause trouble. We were just curious about parts of the castle that hadn't been discovered.
When we learned about the second wizarding war in our third year, that started and ended at Hogwarts, we wanted to investigate. Jazz and I had ventured into the third floor corridor on the right hand side. There was a large empty room with a trap door. On the trap door was the largest dusty dog paw print I had ever seen.
"Let's go down there." Said Jazz, eagerly.
"Are you mental? We could be expelled." I replied.
"There's nothing down there. Hogwarts is the safest place for students. Do you really think Professor McGonagall, or the great Dumbledore before her, would set up something unsafe, should students accidentally walk in or stumble upon this stuff? Where's the fun without risk?"
I scoffed and almost turned my back, but she had a point. If students did accidentally put themselves in any bad situation, would any headmaster use an enchantment to harm students? A sigh escaped my lips and I stepped up next to Jazz.
"Okay...just a quick peak, and then we get out of there. Okay?"
"Now we're talking." Said Jazz.
We opened the trap door and looked down inside it. There was no ladder, there were no stares. It looked like just a bottomless pit.
Jazz pulled her wand out, and so did I. "Lumos!" We both said together, and our wands illuminated. We still couldn't see anything.
"Lumos Maxima!" I said, and a ball of light ejected from my wand, sinking further down into the trap door.
Jazz and I realized there was something at the bottom. It looked like large soft black roots that would break our fall if we went down.
Without word or warning, Jazz jumped down into the trap door. "Jazz!" I called after her. I had no choice but to jump down after her, because I was involved. I didn't want anyone thinking I pushed her down. Not that she would have snitched on me anyways.
I fell to the bottom with a plop. "Lumos." I said, and the tip of my wand lit once more. I looked all around and there were black roots everywhere. "What is this stuff?" I wondered aloud.
Before Jazz or I could come to any conclusions, something wrapped around my ankle and a shout escaped my lips. I pointed my wand down at whatever had my foot, and a large black snake unwrapped itself from around my ankle. I kicked it off, and fell backwards, screaming. I was deadly afraid of snakes.
I pointed my wand and realized it wasn't a snake. It was part of the black plant that was surrounding Jazz and I. We looked around for some sort of escape, and when the plant started moving again, Jazz and I fell deeper into the plant into what looked like another room. We walked along and found a bigger room full of keys on the ground. The way they looked, they used to be alive with wings, but now, they were once again inanimate objects, keys with no life.
We didn't need to search for a certain key, because the next door was open, leading us to the next room. Jazz didn't leave, however, without picking up one of the keys with wings. Walking on we entered a room that was dimly lit, but once we took a few steps upwards, we found ourselves in the middle of a giant chess board.
"I don't like the looks of this place." I said, quietly. "Can we go back?"
"Oh, hush. We're fine." Said Jazz. "Look. The door is over there."
We made our way past a few pawns, a knight that was turned to rubble, and a king who had given up his sword. Whoever played this game won against the white side.
The door lead us down a large set of stairs. It seemed like it was never going to end, until we stopped at a dead end. There was nothing accept a mirror at the bottom of the room.
"It's a dead end. Let's go back." I said.
"Wait...there's something about that mirror. It's just...drawing me towards it." Jazz replied. She walked down the rest of the stairs closer towards it and just looked at herself.
I don't know what she saw in the mirror, but she gently ran her fingers across the glass, smiling...almost crying. She was crying. Almost hysterically when she snapped away from it. "I'm sorry, Vince. You were right. Let's get the bloody hell out of here!" She screamed.
"Jazz, what did you see?" I replied frantically trying to break free of Jazz's grip.
"I don't want to talk about it. Can we please just go, like you wanted?" She tugged my arm, but my curiosity was aroused.
I broke free and said "Let me look into it and we'll go." Jazz stood behind me a good distance. As I stepped closer to the mirror, something came into view. It wasn't so much as something as it was someone. I looked into the mirror and saw...someone I didn't expect to see.
"Winter?" I said into the mirror. Turning around, I saw that she wasn't there. I looked again, and she was there. This didn't make any sense. How could she be there in the mirror when she could have been in the Hufflepuff common room, or the great hall?
I shook my head and snapped to my senses. This mirror was too much. "Okay, let's go."
Jazz and I turned and were about to go back up the long set of stairs but someone was already there.
"Good afternoon." Said Professor Brewer.
We were lucky we weren't expelled, and I wouldn't have preferred it to the month long detention we got, but I really wanted to know what the mirror was, and what Jazz saw when she looked into it that sent her into hysterics. She had to go to the hospital wing and get a tonic for her nerves, and even still, she wasn't herself for the next two weeks. After about two and a half weeks, she started coming around again. As far as answers, there were only two people who could help, and I was determined to get an answer from one of them.
I stepped into Professor McGonagall's office and she greeted me with a smile.
"Hello, Mr. Hare. Can I help you with something?"
"Actually, Professor, yes. I know Jazz and I got in trouble for sneaking off into where we shouldn't have, and for that, I apologize, but...with what happened, I just wondered...what was with that mirror? Why did Jazz freak out when she looked into it, and I didn't?" I asked calmly.
Professor McGonagall sighed, removing her spectacles. When she did, I could see how old she really was. Her wrinkles around her eyes and her cheeks told me that she had been through a lot. She was part of the Battle of Hogwarts, and I could see it within just one sigh. Clearing her throat, she looked at me and calmly said "Mr. Hare...I will give you one answer. I will tell you that that mirror shows nothing more or less than the most desperate desires of our hearts. It gives us neither knowledge nor truth. As to what Jazzlynn saw in the mirror...I cannot answer that question. Only she knows the answer, and she is the only one who can answer. I would not press her into it. It may send her into another anxiety attack."
McGonagall spoke with a more serious tone of voice that I didn't want to hear her use again. "Do not, I repeat, do not go looking for that mirror again. Men have wasted away in front of it, some have even gone mad. Do you understand me?"
"Yes, ma'am." I said calmly.
"I want you to return to your common room, and do not press the subject onto Jazz. Understood?"
"Yes, ma'am." I repeated. "Have a nice day."
"You as well."
I walked out of McGonagall's office thinking about what she said. The most desperate desires of our hearts. One question was answered, but with only one answer dawned one more. Why would the mirror show me my best friend that I had no desire for, or rather...romantic desire?
After hearing McGonagall warn me about the mirror, I wasn't too thrilled to return to her office with more questions, but there was one other person I needed to speak to, because he was the last headmaster of Hogwarts. On a day I had time to, I watched her from the sidelines, but keeping my distance. I learned that she went to the Great Hall before everyone else, to have a glass of evening pumpkin juice before dinner.
The next day I had time to, I went to her office after she left and stepped inside.
"Hello?" I called out.
"Vince. You've returned for more answers, haven't you?" Said a voice from one of the portraits.
I looked up at the one that spoke. He wore long gray robes, half-moon spectacles, with a glimmer in his eye and a smile on his face.
"Professor Dumbledore." I said in a greeting manner. "Yes, I have. How did you know?"
"The other portraits in the castle noticed Professor McGonagall had a shadow. Word travels fast." He replied calmly.
My stomach turned. "Does she know I'm here?" I asked out loud, not meaning to.
"Oh, yes. As a matter of fact, she was hoping I could talk you out of asking questions, but...as I've told many students before, help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it. Therefore, I cannot stop you from asking questions, hence I cannot withhold answers. Besides, even if you didn't come and get answers, it might drive you mad. I would rather put your mind to rest rather than leave it spinning with questions. I did that once to a student, and I shouldn't have." Said Dumbledore. He was still smiling, and he still used a calm voice.
"Sir...when I was with Jazz, standing in front of the mirror...it showed me someone."
"Someone you know or someone you knew?"
"Someone I know."
"What exactly are you asking?"
I took a deep breath and explained. "It showed me my best friend, Winter. Professor McGonagall said that the mirror shows us the most desperate desires of our hearts, but I don't think I have any desire for Winter...at least not in a romantic way."
"Ah, yes. The Mirror of Erised is a very powerful object. It looks into your heart, not your mind. I have two possibilities. The mirror has the ability to show us what we desire in our hearts, even if our mind isn't aware of what we want. It showed you your friend Winter. Your heart may have a deep desire for her, even if you aren't aware of it, yet. That is one explanation that I have. As to the other explanation, you may desire her friendship, and she has all the qualities you see in a true friend, and that may be why you saw her in the mirror." Explained Dumbledore. He sat in the chair behind him and folded his hands. "As for Jazz, I'm afraid I must disappoint you, because I cannot tell you what she saw. She never told anyone, not Professor McGonagall, not Professor Brewer, and not Madam Pomfrey.
"I think the only person she would confide in telling is you. You were down there with her, you seem to have a good friendship with her as well, therefore, she may feel comfortable telling you. I would not know. If you desperately want to know what she saw, then you must first make sure that she can confide in you as a friend, then offer to talk about it. Don't pressure her, as Professor McGonagall said. Understood?"
"Yes, sir." I replied.
"Is there anything more you wish to tell me?" Asked Dumbledore.
I shook my head and said "No, sir. Nothing."
"Very well, then. Off you go." Dumbledore replied with a nod. He stood up and walked out of the portrait, and I walked out of McGonagall's office, wondering whether to ask Jazz about it right away or if I should wait a little while. It had been a month, and she seemed herself again. What would be the harm in asking?
On the other hand, what if I asked and she went into hysterics, or went back to not being herself?
I decided not to bother her with it. Some things were better left unanswered, and unsaid, and not a word of what happened under the trap door came out of us until third year, when we all discovered what a boggart was.
Jamie was with us that day. Winter was too.
My biggest fear was thunderstorms. Just the sound of thunder gave me shivers. I knew it was just a noise, but it was a noise that scared me. The boggart transformed into a cloud with bolts of lightning coming out, and I shuddered when I heard a clap of thunder.
"You're alright, Vince. Keep your nerve. Steady." Said Professor Lupin.
I nodded to him, took out my wand, and said very clearly "Riddikulus!"
The cloud dissipated and behind the clouds were fireworks. A small smile crept onto my lips when the class clapped for me.
"Very good, Vince. Next...Jamie." Said Professor Lupin. Jamie was afraid of spiders, so the boggart took the form of an acromantula. I remember reading about those in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.
Jamie backed away when it took a step forward, yelling "Riddikulus!" The spider suddenly fell with a plop, and we realized what happened and laughed. When the spider tried to stand back up, it slipped on the skates it was wearing and fell once again. Jamie walked to the back of the class to watch the rest of us, and I had to throw a smile her way. Sure we had our disagreements before, but that was first year. I learned that if I stayed out of her way, she would stay out of mine.
She paid me no mind and I watched as Jazz made her way to the boggart. I was nervous. Remembering that what she saw in the mirror had sent her into hysterics. The Mirror of Erised looks into your heart, not your mind. What if the boggart looked into Jazz's heart and showed her the same thing that she saw in the mirror?
The boggart transformed and everyone gasped. There was a girl on the floor, no one could see the face, but there was blood, and a lot of it.
It turns out, I was wrong. What Jazz saw in the Mirror of Erised sent her into hysterics, but when she saw this dead girl on the floor, she was worse than historic. If I hadn't known any better, I'd say that she had gone mad. Jazz fell to the floor, crying hysterically, wave after wave of sobs coming from her. Never before had I seen Jazz so upset.
Professor Lupin stepped in front of the boggart and it transformed into something even more terrifying. It was a large black hooded figure that towered above Professor Lupin. The air suddenly turned ghostly cold, and for a moment it seemed as though I was never going to be happy again until he yelled a different incantation.
This time, the boggart didn't transform into something funny, but a silver wisp of white light shot out of Professor Lupin's wand, and the boggart went back into the wardrobe it was locked in. Lupin locked the door and the whole class was silent, accept for Jazz who was lying on the floor sobbing.
"Jazz!" I exclaimed, running to her side to help her, but Professor Lupin held a hand up to tell me to stay back. He gently helped Jazz to her feet.
"Vince, in my office, in my desk, second drawer down on the right hand side, you'll find some chocolate. There should be enough for everyone. Once everyone has had a piece, you are all dismissed." Said Professor Lupin.
I did as he instructed and handed out chocolate to the students, and everyone seemed to calm down once they had it, and walked out the door. I saved Winter for last, because I wanted to catch her alone. She didn't get to face her boggart, and she looked like she didn't want to after what we all just witnessed.
"Are you alright?" I asked her, taking the last piece of chocolate from the wrapper.
"I'm okay, now." She replied, biting into the chocolate.
"What was that?" I asked her. "Do you know?"
"That was a dementor." Said Professor Lupin.
I nearly choked when I heard his voice, because when he re-entered the room, I didn't notice.
"That was a dementor?" I repeated.
"No. That was not a dementor, it was a boggart in the shape of a dementor. The real thing is worse, loads worse." Lupin said.
"It gets worse than that?" Asked Winter.
"Much worse." Replied Lupin. "You two should head back to your common room. I need to have a word with your teachers as to why you will be missing your classes. After an event like that, you'll be too distracted."
Winter and I headed back to our common room in silence. I wasn't thinking about the dementor so much as Jazz. I wondered if that was what she saw in the Mirror of Erised. When we got to the common room, I sat down on the big yellow couch, thinking of the dementor again. If the real thing could be worse than the sickly cold of the room, and the feeling of never being happy again for such a long time in Azkaban was worse than that, what must the real thing be like?
I just hoped I wasn't around long enough to find out.
"Who do you recon that girl was?" Winter asked me.
"I can't be sure." I replied aloud, but understanding hit me hard like a bludger to the back of the head.
That must have been who she saw in the Mirror of Erised. I thought to myself. The girl in the boggart...she was dead. Jazz looked into the mirror and saw the same girl, only she was alive, and that's why she didn't freak out as much...but when she saw that girl dead, she went mad.
"I have a question for you." Said Winter.
"I may have an answer." I replied.
"Word got around that you looked into the Mirror of Erised too."
My stomach dropped. You're asking me this now? I thought to myself. You must be joking.
"Yeah...I took a glance into it." I said, almost proudly.
"What did you see when you looked into it. I mean...you didn't freak out like Jazz did. Why?"
My throat became very dry, along with my mouth. Is it hot in here? I wondered to myself. How was I going to tell her that I saw her in the mirror? Would it effect our friendship? Would it make it better or worse?
I decided to spill, telling her what Dumbledore told me first, then the moment of truth came.
"Are you ready for this?" I asked Winter.
Winter nodded with anticipation, and a smile, like the big plot twist of a story that no one saw coming. I decided to stall a little bit for anticipation.
"When I looked in the mirror,"
"Yes?"
"I saw,"
"Yeah?"
I closed my eyes. "You, Winter." There was a long silence, and I opened my eyes, and Hope was still sitting in an anxious position, as if she were wanting to hear more. "I saw you in the Mirror of Erised...but I don't know why."
Winter shifted, and stared into the fireplace. "Well...this just got a little awkward." She said.
"Yup." I replied.
Jazz went bad again. The same thing happened that happened with the mirror. Jazz wasn't herself for a while, but I had to ask that time, so one afternoon, I asked Jazz if we could take a walk down to the lake, and she agreed.
We took a spot next to the shore line. Jazz plucked a stone from the rocks and skipped it across the water. "I know why you brought me down here." She said.
"You do?" I replied.
"You want to know who the girl is, don't you?"
I didn't know what to say, so I said the first thing that came to my mind. "I want you to know that I'm your friend and that you can tell me anything."
A slight smile crept onto Jazz's face and she skipped another stone. When it sank and the ripples from it were gone, she said "Lacey."
I looked at Jazz and she looked as though she had been deep in thought.
"Lacey?" I repeated. "That's her name?"
Jazz nodded.
I had to ask, even though I knew the answer. "Is that who you saw in the mirror when we were down there?"
Jazz nodded again. "It was a muggle. Lacey had a few gold galleons on her, and she refused to give them up because she was afraid of going to Azkaban if she exposed any of the wizarding world to any muggle." Her voice started to break. "We walked out of the back entrance to the leaky cauldron and he was there...he had a gun on him, and when she refused...."
She looked down at the stones and tears filled her eyes. I moved closer to her and took her hand, gently saying "Jazz, I'm so sorry." Jazz wrapped her arms around me and sobbed softly into my shoulder. "It's okay to miss a friend."
"We were more than just friends." Jazz sobbed not only for what she saw as the boggart but what she saw in the mirror too. She missed Lacey dearly. It was one thing to lose a family member, but when you lost someone that you shared a bond with, a strong connection with, it breaks your heart, and it feels as though no one can mend it. The presence of a dementor, even as a boggart, didn't help matters much. As only a Hufflepuff could do, I did my best to comfort her. That was the day Jazz and I had truly bonded.
"There you are." Said Jamie from behind us. She knelt down beside us and held Jazz's hand. "Are you okay? Do you wanna come and eat?"
Jazz perked up a little bit at the idea of food, and we all shared a half-hearted laugh.
We made our way into the Great Hall, and as usual Winter had saved me a seat.
Across the table were platters of lasagna, spaghetti, and chicken Alfredo with sides of vegetables. Winter wiped my face with a napkin once again when I got chocolate on the side of my mouth.