Chapter 22
I barely slept a wink that night, and I figured that was because I had been so close to Timmy yet so far away. I couldn't stop thinking about how much I missed him. Neither, I couldn't stop thinking about Aden. There was so much going on right now that made it impossible for my brain to relax.
One thing I concluded after that night, however, was that the phone call I had with Timmy did not make it easier for me to get over him. If anything, it only made me think of him even more, which was not my goal.
Therefore, I told myself that I couldn't talk to him during the rest of the week he was away. If he wanted to talk, we would keep it to texting and not hearing each other's voices because that wasn't healthy for me.
As for Aden, we hung out three more times that week. One day, he surprised me at work when my shift was over. He insisted we go for a walk before I headed home. The day after that, he invited me over to his place where we made dinner together and watched a movie before I headed back home. Then we didn't hang out until Saturday, the first day that week I was free from work. He asked me if I wanted to go out shopping with him, and who was I to say no to that?
I liked spending time with him. He was such a laid back person, and it was easy to talk to him. There was never one single moment that was awkward between us, and that made me want to hang out with him more. However, I still wasn't sure how I really felt for him, if I wanted to be more than just friends, that is. I assumed only time could decide that.
He had tried to hint at the fact that he wanted to kiss me, though. There were times when he intentionally reached over me to grab something on the other side of me and came a little too close to be comfortable. I could feel the vibes of what he wanted, but I always acted like I didn't understand and played it off. I was quite positive he was starting to figure out that I was holding back, though, but I didn't care. I couldn't kiss someone when I wasn't sure about my feelings for them because I didn't want him to get the wrong idea if it turned out I didn't want to be more than friends.
During the entire week, I ended up managing to keep it to only texting Timmy. He did insist on talking over the phone once after that evening, but I told him I was too tired. Even if I wanted to hear him explain how the audition went, I couldn't risk falling back to stage one of moving on from him.
However, he did text me that the audition went well, despite the fact that he had been a little nervous. He told me that he had unconsciously gone into his acting mode and that he listened to my advice by imagining it was like any other audition. I was glad that I had been able to help him, even if I thought my advice was pretty shitty.
After that day, I even tried texting him less because I noticed that the less I talked to him in any kind of way, the less I thought of him. It was a stupid and selfish decision to make since I still wanted to be friends with him despite this disaster with my feelings, but I needed to do whatever I could to make it easier for them to go away.
Dad's words returned to my head the morning after I had talked to Timmy. He had said I should show him how I felt to see if he felt the same way I did. Hadn't I already done that, though? I had kissed Timmy, for crying out loud, and he hadn't returned it. Wasn't that proof enough that I shouldn't bother him?
It was Monday now, the day before Timmy was returning home again. I had an early shift at the bakery, and Aden and I had already made plans to see each other afterward. I was invited over to his place again, and I hoped it would be just as cozy as last time I had been there.
Dylan had been nagging me to tell him what was going on between us, but just like I was hesitant about telling Timmy about it, I was with Dylan too. I didn't want to tell them anything until I knew how I felt, and that it was more than just a friendship.
I didn't work with Dylan today but with Felix, which I was rather thankful for because that meant I wouldn't have him watching my every move, trying to get things out of me by just observing my actions.
It was a rather uneventful shift I had. No new customers entered the bakery and no drama happened either. Therefore, it felt like an eternity until the clock hit one in the afternoon, when my shift was finally over.
I met Dylan only momentarily in the changing room since he was the one replacing me. We didn't say more than hi to each other before I was out of the building, heading to mom's car.
It wasn't raining today, thankfully. Otherwise, my hair would be a mess right now, and that was not what I wanted before meeting Aden.
I had memorized the way to his apartment, which was located pretty close to Dylan's actually. That also made it easier for me to find it. I turned on the radio, so it could keep me company during the ride there, and it didn't take long until I was pulling over outside the building.
Aden had told me the access code to the building earlier, so I punched it in before opening the door and walking up the stairs to the third floor where his apartment was. I knocked on the door twice, and it didn't take more than five seconds until it was swung open by him, a wide smile forming on his face at the sight of me.
"Julie."
"Hey, Aden," I greeted, returning the smile.
I stepped into his place, shrugged off my jacket and slipped off my sneakers. "Have you been waiting?" I wondered, flashing him a wink.
He let out a chuckle as he nodded his head. "I've been waiting since we first decided you would come."
The place was rather big for only being one person that lived here. He had two bedrooms, a living room, a toilet and a kitchen. The majority of the furniture in the apartment was black, but the walls were white and the floors were of hardwood. It was pretty cozy, though, even if I liked more warm colors like beige and dark brown.
"Are you hungry? I figured you haven't eaten lunch yet, so I thought we could make something?" He questioned, and my face lit up.
"Yeah, that sounds like a great idea. I'm starving," I told him, and it was true. I hadn't eaten anything since eight in the morning, so I could definitely get something in my system.
"Come on then," he said, motioning me to follow him into the kitchen. "Anything specific you're feeling for?"
During the time I had gotten to know him, I had found out he was a great cook and liked to be in the kitchen, making new types of meals. It was something I was happy about considering I wasn't much of a cook myself. Mom had always been my rescue.
"I'd say pasta, but I'll take whatever you have," I shrugged.
"Pasta it is then. How about Pasta Pomodoro?" He suggested, and I nodded my head.
"I love that dish."
"Awesome," he said, clapping his hands together excitedly.
I chuckled at his actions before we both started making the food. Though, when I said 'we' I meant that he told me what to do while I followed his instructions. Thankfully, Pasta Pomodoro wasn't the most complicated dish to make, though, so I didn't feel like a complete amateur while cooking it.
About half an hour later, we were both sitting at the kitchen table, twirling spaghetti around our forks. "How was work today?" He wondered, breaking the silence that had occurred.
I shrugged my shoulders, bringing the fork to my mouth. "It was pretty boring, honestly. It felt like time wouldn't pass."
He nodded his head. "I get what you mean. I have those kinds of days at work too. It usually occurs when nothing new happens and you're just doing what you always do, aren't I right?"
"Yeah, that's exactly how it was. I hate those days," I sighed, shaking my head.
"Yep, me too," he agreed.
We continued chatting over lunch. I asked him how his day had been in return, and he told me that it had been great only that he hadn't been able to stop thinking about meeting me, just like he mentioned earlier. I felt flattered about that, knowing someone cared for me to the extent that they couldn't stop thinking about me. It made me happy.
When we were finished eating, we placed the dishes in the sink before moving to the living room. I sat down on the couch, and he settled down beside me as he reached for the remote to the television. A feeling of déjà vu suddenly swept over me because this felt just like the last time I had been here. The only different thing was that we had made lunch and not dinner this time.
Surprisingly, he didn't put on a movie today. Instead, he settled for the news before turning his attention to me.
My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Did he only turn on the TV to have something playing in the background or what was on his mind? Feeling nervous all of a sudden, I turned to meet his gaze.
"Wha--"
Before I could finish that sentence, I was interrupted by his lips coming in contact with my own. My eyes instantly widened in surprise, and my first thought was to not kiss him back but to push him away. What the hell was happening?
The second he got my message, he pulled back with a frown on his face, his eyes turned to his lap. "Shit, I- I'm sorry," he muttered.
I could only stare at him as I tried to register what had just happened. When I finally got my head around the fact that he had tried to kiss me, I shook my head vigorously. "No, don't be. I was just surprised and--"
"And what?" He asked, looking at me in confusion. "Because I've had a feeling that you're holding back, and I've been trying to figure out if it is because of me, or if it is because of something else."
His face showed me how distressed he was over this, and I wanted to hit myself for it. He shouldn't blame himself for something that he couldn't do anything about. "Look, Aden," I said, exhaling a deep breath. "You haven't done anything wrong, alright? It's my fault things are like this, and I'm sorry. I agree that I've been holding back, and it's because of personal reasons. I'm sorry that it has gone out on you."
The crease between his eyebrows deepened. "What personal reasons? You haven't been in an abusive relationship before, have you?"
I shook my head again. "No, no! That's not it. I just... I don't really know how I feel yet, so I want to take things slow. I'm sorry if that is a problem for you," I muttered, looking down at my lap.
He reached out to turn my face up so I was looking into his blue eyes again. "Don't be sorry, Julie. I understand," he said, flashing me a small smile.
I could tell it wasn't something he wanted to hear, but it didn't shatter him completely either. Letting out another sigh, I shook my head. "You must think I'm crazy that I'm overthinking a kiss, but I don't want to do anything I don't feel comfortable with yet. I'm really sorry," I apologized, feeling like an idiot. He must hate me right now.
"You don't have to apologize. You're special, Julie. Most girls wouldn't hesitate in your situation, but I'm glad you are because I'd rather have that than go around thinking you feel more for me than you do. I appreciate that you're being honest with me," he said truthfully.
My eyes furrowed together as I looked at him. "You mean that?"
He nodded his head, a small smile breaking out on his face. "Yes, of course. I wouldn't lie to you."
Letting out a sigh of relief, I flashed him a smile of my own. "Thank you. I'm glad you understand my situation and don't think I'm weird for thinking like this."
His features told me that he was being honest with me when he said that he was just glad I was open to him. "I really like you, Julie, so I would probably wait an eternity until you're ready," he explained, making my heart flutter.
How come I had the fortune to meet someone so lovely when my feelings were somewhere else right now? He didn't deserve it, but I had a feeling I couldn't do anything about it now.
The only thing I should focus on was starting to feel for this guy the way he felt for me.
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Another chapter for you guys. I know it's hard reading when Julie feels like this, but Timmy is coming back in the next chapter!
What do you think will happen then?
Btw, don't forget to vote if you liked it. It would mean a lot to me <33
Pauline .xx