That Lord Beckett did not look forward to the journey was an understatement. He despised the constant rolling of the sea, the salty smell and poor, but practical meals. As soon as they had put a foot on the deck, he felt the nausea waving over him. When the weather was pleasant, he was bothered by the sun which blinded his sight. On the other hand, when the sun was blocked by large storm clouds, the Lord instead loathed the rain and the fierce waves. The rough winds during these times also caused HMS Fidelity to rock more. So the EITC Governor spent most of the journey in his small, but far more comfortable than those of the sailors, cabin. It was located at the back of the ship, past the crew's quarters and the cargo, which mostly included pineapples. Not that the crew, or even Lord Beckett were allowed to taste the fruit. They were considered a luxury at fine courts around Europe and were far too expensive, even for an average Lord. It was in dismay the Lord had studied the gloomy, slightly damp area. Grey water covered the wooden floor and a tar smell stung in his nose.
The Captain of the ship was an older man with broad shoulders. In the powdered wig and the blue white uniform, Beckett thought it appeared as if Captain Appleby was wearing a costume, of course he did not say this out loud. The Lord had rather quickly been given the impression that if he was to offend the Captain on his own ship, he would leave him on one of the many islands that crossed their path. As the Director of the company, Beckett was familiar with the proud, but experienced Captain, who's main task was to deliver pineapples to the wealthier families in the Great Britain. He was aware that there would be no opposition when he informed the man he would be joining him for their sail to London. Although, Captain Appleby might have approved of the Lord's attendance on the ship, but with the 'woman' as Appleby himself would have addressed Miss Lockhart, he was not as pleased. Beckett had lost count of how many times the Captain, in dismay, had told him that bringing a woman on the ship meant bad luck. However, he had heard it enough.
Jade, on the contrary was overwhelmed to return to the sea. She had missed the wind against her face, and often stood by the bowsprit, her eyes perched ahead upon the open sea. The meals could not be compared to the excessive dinners at Beckett's mansion, but they eased her hunger and she would not complain. Apart from pineapples, there was a lot of rum on the ship, the sailor's drink many claimed. Rather quickly she had befriended many of the workers, and spend many evenings at their quarters, gambling and drinking, as a contrast to the fine wine of Beckett's, common rum. That the Captain was not precisely fond of her, did not mind her much for the rest of the crew most certainly was.
They had been sailing for a fortnight, and had reached Madeira. Although their cabin lacked any further conveniences, Beckett kept his few belongings neatly placed on the small secretary. The 'small office', however, was no more than a small piece of furniture and two tiny chairs where they also shared their meals, apart from the rest of the crew. Surely the Lord fancied himself far too significant to eat the humble food served onboard, and far too posh to share it with the crew. This little statement, however, was confirmed by the expression on Beckett's face when he haughtily glared down at his platter. It appeared he'd lost hope for the greyed potatoes on his plate, and the fish which remained untouched, for he placed the cutlery at the table and lifted his glass of wine instead.
"You are allowed to return to the crew's quarters" he snorted, while he cast a glance at Jade, who still courageously tried to separate the bones from the meat of her fish. When she heard the rather annoyed tone in his voice, she stopped and leaned back in her chair.
"I did not know I needed your allowance" she studied him. The Lord had returned to his office, which meant he had placed his platter aside and collected his letters without moving an inch. His tired eyes ran over a yellowed paper in his hand.
"You ought to be cautious out there all by yourself" the wailing of the wood beneath them filled the cabin when the Lord paused with pursed lips. "It is not to be forgotten that you are the only woman onboard"
"Then come with me" she told him as she tilted her head to the side. Beckett's face was uncertain. "Come with me to the crew's quarters if you're so very concerned about my safety, surely no one would dare to lay a hand on me if you were by my side"
The Lord scoffed and shook his head, while he continued to read the letter. "I have work to finish." Still, Jade had no intentions to give up just so easily. Instead, she rose and made her way around the table. Her hand found his shoulder as she bend down besides him.
"The Captain told me that I must be a siren yesterday, because he thought I was so very enchanting" she whispered in his ear with her most alluring voice.
"Oh, really?" he turned his head towards her. His features were indifferent and the Lord was altogether unaffected by her attempt to charm. "Because I, on the other hand, was given the impression that the Captain wasn't very fond of you"
"After a few glasses of rum he was"
To those words the Lord rolled his eyes while he inhaled, still a thin smile rested over his lips, wether he liked it or not. "By all means"
"Wouldn't you want to show them who captured this siren, my Lord" Jade ran her hand over his chest, while she decreased the space between their lips.
"It appears I have to join you, to ensure you won't do something inappropriate" he went on in his slivery voice, while he watched her with sober eyes.
"Surely you must know that the only one I intend to do something inappropriate with is you"
This evening, as those before, the crew's quarters were filled with loud laughter and chatter. One of the older men had a violin, so a cheerful melody accompanied them. The long table was crowded with glasses, candles, cards and elbows. A larger man, who Jade had been told was First mate Nathan Brady, furiously threw his cards out before him, while a tall man chuckled across the table. Brady slammed his fist in the table, which caused the glasses, which were filled with rum to the top, to tremble. At the meantime the sneering winner carelessly collected the coins. Brady's rage did not last long. When he caught sight of Jade he forgot all about the money he had lost and smiled. Beckett, who stood behind Jade, wrinkled his nose by the sight of the sailor's blackened teeth.
"Inn't it the siren?" he barked, while he recklessly pushed the people beside him on the bench aside in order for Jade and Beckett to join him. "So, here's the lucky man" Brady beamed at Beckett, while he held out his hand.
"Good evening" The Lord shook it briefly, before he withdrew his hand and wiped it against his trousers. A gesture Brady had drunken too many glasses of rum to notice.
"Ye're shorter than I'd 'spect" the sailor continued, while he studied Beckett's slight figure. The Lord couldn't tell, if Brady had an accent, or was simply drunk. "Began to think ye wouldn't show up tis evenin', Lockhart. Ye see, Vincent missed ye so terrible" He grinned at a blonde man to his left, who quietly sipped on his cup with his face in his palm.
"Hold your tongue, Nate" Vincent snapped back. "It was you who wouldn't stop asking about her, as if the cook knew where she was hiding"
"I wasn't hiding, Gentlemen, I was eating dinner in our cabin" Jade informed them. She had to raise her voice rather much for them to hear and soon it caused her to shout each thing she wished to say.
"Sounds bloody fancy" chuckled Brady as he emptied his glass. "Perhaps ye ought to find some highborn to wed, Vincent," he raised his glass towards the young Frenchman. "Ye always complain 'bout t'food." It appeared Vincent had given up on his friend, for he simply shook his head while he took his cup to his lips. Yet that merely caused Brady to laugh louder as he leaned back in his seat.
"So ye're the lord, ey?" he turned his head toward Beckett, who until now had been sitting quietly at the end of the bench, with his hands locked in his lap and his eyes down.
"I'm the Director of the East India Trading Company" he explained in his posh accent, a clear contrast to the others around the table. In his powered wig, and dignified clothing, he appeared to be rather inapplicable beside the sailors with dirt painting their skin a darker shade and long hair which had most certainly not been washed for days. This, however was confirmed by the Lord's awkward countenance. Brady nodded with an impressed grin across his lips, (while the other around the table burst out in a loud "oh" with their cups raised in the air. )
"So we're drinkin' with the big fellow, boys!" toasted the first mate, while he ran his eyes over the crew. "who is indeed quite small" When laughter filled the quarters Brady bent down closer to Jade, who beamed with rosy cheeks while she observed the sailors, and Beckett, who appeared to wish he was sinking through the deck. "So what can I get ye two? Rum for ye, I reckon" he blinked at Jade. She nodded and cast an eye at the Lord. Without waiting for an answer, Brady reached over the table and grasped the bottle, which was the only thing they had to offer, and poured it into two cups, who for the moment appeared to be unoccupied. If someone would have a problem with that, they could take it with the Captain, was Brady's common suggestion. He dragged the two cups over to Jade and the Lord.
Beckett observed the amber liquid with a wrinkled nose. Jade, on the other hand took the cup to her mouth, with a grimace she swallowed and shook her head. The rest of the crew observed her with dazzled, and amused eyes, and when she managed another gulp they applauded. With a graceful bow she placed the cup back on the table. Her face shone of boldness when she ran her eyes from Beckett to his drink. "Your turn, m'lord"
With one eyebrow raised, and with a not so very amused expression on his face he observed her. "I would not think so"
"I would" While the Lord had been speaking and casting irritated glares at her, Jade had managed to empty almost half of her cup, an achievement she was indeed very proud of. Although, it caused her to giggle at every possible thing, no matter how boring it actually was. A warmth had spread across her body and the sharp taste burned in her throat.
"Oh, why is that?"
"I think we can come to some sort of understanding" Jade leaned back in her seat, in the most professional manners she could possibly conduct. Yet she had forgotten it was a bench she sat on and not a chair, which she had first thought, and managed to just find her balance before she fell backwards. "I mean, you have a head for business, m'lord, no doubt" she went on, while she gestured around her. "I want to make you a bet, if you finish that rum, I swear I will behave in England. I will act like the fine lady you want me to be in front of your family"
Beckett remained quiet as he watched her with cynical, yet hesitant eyes. After a while he opened his mouth, "No more outbursts?"
"Not a single one" she shook her head, with her cup in her hands. To drown the other voices, laugher and music, she had to raise her voice which caused it to tremble. The Lord narrowed his eyes, it seemed for him, that this was a dilemma. He cast a displeased glare at the cup, which remained untouched, which was a miracle considering the drunken sailors around the table. He had never drunken rum and did not keep any, for he considered it a drink of sailors and thieves and not of nobles. Still he was aware that Jade's manners weren't always proper. He believed she drank too much for a lady of any kind, and not just fine wine but whatever someone would pour into her cup, she was also loud and free spoken, inconsiderate of common courtesy and unspoken rules. He required her to be proper in front of his father. So with a short nod, he lifted the cup with the tip of his fingers, while Jade observed him with an astonished expression.
"Bottoms up" she giggled. Still all she got as an answer was a cold glance before he closed his eyes and took the cup to his lips. The sharp taste burned his throat, as fast as he could he swallowed and could not help himself but to cough. The sailors, who drank rum like water, laughed loudly at this and Brady clapped the Lord's back. Even though Beckett might have been celebrated by the crew, all he was given from Jade was a nod at the rest of the rum. Unwillingly he inhaled and tilted the cup to the ceiling. His method was to finish it quickly and therefore spare himself the taste. He must have grimaced with his entire face in disgust when he forced the liquid down his throat, but he didn't mind for he had emptied the cup. While the warm rush ran up his spine he placed the cup back on the table and gave Jade a satisfied smirk. Clearly most of the sailors had not expected the Lord to manage to finish the rum, for while some cheered, others grunted and reached for the few dimes in their pockets. Beckett had come to know, they would bet on anything they could.
"Now ye're one o' us, mate" Brady barked while he finished his fourth glass. The First Mate had broad shoulders and was sturdily built. At least a head taller than the others in the quarter, he had arms bigger than many of the other sailors thighs. Although his face had begun to get quite red, and his eyes quite drowsy. It took many bottles to get the man off his feet. For the Lord, on the other hand, a cup was in truth enough to make him flushed. After a bottle he would not be standing. Beckett was slightly built and short, and it did not take long for the liquor to make him woozy. Suddenly he found it extremely difficult to control his arms and legs, and without him knowing of it, or being able to stop it, he felt his head fall to the side and land on someone's shoulder, without making any effort to move. A familiar smell filled his nostrils and not without effort he managed to figure out whom's shoulder he was currently leaning against. When he closed his eyes, it seemed all the other noises had grown distant and he enjoyed the void.
"Cutler?" A familiar voice broke through the sound of the silence, which now somehow appeared to have gotten even louder than the laugher. There was a ringing in his ear which caused him to squeeze his eyes together harder. The voice called out his name once more. He felt how someone held their arm around his shoulder, and gently stroke his arm. "Cutler, should we go back to the cabin?"
Unwillingly, he forced himself to straighten and the world spun. With a heavy inhale, he grabbed the bench as not to fall. He felt how she continued to caress his back, while he tilted his head down. Jade's eyes were sober and large when she observed him with a concerned expression. "Do you think you can stand?" she asked him slowly. She might not have gotten an answer from Beckett, but the First Mate turned his head towards her.
"Are ye leavin' so soon?" he bellowed, with what appeared to be his sixth glass of rum in a grip. "But we haven't heard how the Lord managed to win the siren's heart, have we boys?"
"Another time, Nate" apologized Jade, once more she was forced to shout to be heard through the chatter of the men. She rose from the bench, took a hold of the Lord's arm and slowly helped him to get to his feet. Even though his feet were unsteady, and his head kept falling back to her shoulder, with her holding him, he managed to return to the small cabin at the aft of the ship.
With one hand still around Beckett's waist, she managed to close the door behind them. From inside the cabin, the night was still and only distant laugher could be heard from the crew. The candle they had left on the table still cast its glow. She sighed and tired to place the Lord down on the bed. When she attempted to lead him, it appeared he had found back to his senses. Not all of them, however, for he was still legless and fickle and was forced to lean on the wall to remain on his feet. At least now he had opened his eyes, and watched her gloomily, in a manner that caused Jade to stop.
"I'm sorry I forced you to drink" she told him quietly, however, it was clear that he had heard her, and understood her words.
"It was my fault, Jade"
She knitted her eyebrows together while she shook her head. "No, I shouldn't have made that silly bet" When she approached him, she saw how he, as well, shook his head, so violently he caused his wig to move. With a rocky movement he adjusted his wig, then let his arm lifelessly fall back to his side.
"Not the rum" he murmured, while he rubbed his forehead with closed eyes. "I'm not talking about the goddamned rum, Jade" he swallowed, while she remained speechless. "It's...was, it was my fault that you" he slammed his fist against his lap. "That we lost the child" Suddenly the ocean had gone quiet, and Jade watched him with large eyes and found herself unable to breathe or blink. "It's my fault we lost the child" he repeated, as if she hadn't heard him the first time.
"It's not your fault" she shook her head, as she quickly wiped her cheek. Clumsily he took a step closer to her, while Jade feared he might fall.
"You hardly ever ate" he rasped. "I am not blind, Jade, of course it was to" he waved with his hand in the air, as to find the words. "Provoke some sort of reaction from my side, which you hardly ever received. The similar reason why you danced with Mr-" he fell quiet and narrowed his eyes in a confused frown. "That captain"
"You're drunk, Cutler, you don't know what you're saying"
"I might be drunk, Jade, but that does not change the fact that it's true" he raised his voice slightly, and she was not certain he even noticed. "If I hadn't been so bloody unsympathetic towards you, you would not have needed to win my affection, or attention...most likely, through your little revolts, such as not joining me for diner for example, and would have been healthy and the child would have lived"
"We can't know that" her eyes were red and glassy, while she wiped her nose.
"But it is highly possible" his words were followed by a long silence, as Beckett kept his eyes on the slightly damped floor. It was simpler than seeing the tears falling over her cheeks. However, in this rather miserable occasion, he was still grateful that the wind was calm this particular evening. If the ship were to rock, he would most likely fallen helplessly. Also, he had been able to prevent himself from spilling his guts during the most stormy night, by focusing on breathing and, if needed, view the horizon. If the case would be similar this night, he was convinced breathing and follow the horizon would not help him from getting sick. Yet, the world still spun before him.
"I've always thought you didn't want a child with me" Jade broke the silence. She had sat down on the chair, in a rigid and cramped position.
"To be frank, I have never considered myself to become a father" he scoffed with his hand over his mouth. Carefully, not to lose his balance, he turned around and paced across the small cabin. "To wed a woman, spreading the family name by breeding, I never considered it something for me, but you were different" he cast a glance at her.
Jade's lungs were clean out of air, despite how much she attempted to inhale. Impatiently, she fingered with the fabric of her dress. "Then why were you so cold?" she stated, "Why did you treat me like I was nothing but a burden to you?"
"You were not entirely fair towards me either"
She looked up at him, now her face appeared to be rather enraged than cheerless as it had been just a moment before. Tears had dried on her cheeks, and her eyebrows were knitted together, her eyes bright with incertitude. "What?"
"Let me remind you that you danced with Mr. Greenwood" Beckett told her, currently sober enough to actually remember his name.
"Exactly, I danced with him. I did not go to bed with him which is what you make it sound like" when the Lord refused to meet her gaze, she stood up and approached him. "It meant nothing, Cutler, I only did it to get your attention and clearly it worked because that evening you kissed me" she took his hand in hers. "I did not mean to hurt you, I just wanted you to see me. You don't have to be frightened of losing me, because you're not going to"