Keenan picks the tuxedo up and holds it in front of him. He is going to confess his love for Holland today. He'd even bought a bouquet of roses from the florist in the city along with a pair of matching lolipop rings.
After nine minutes and forty seven seconds of struggling to put the freshly ironed black suit on without creasing it, Keenan is finally satisfied with how he looks. He smiles again at himself in the mirror, adjusting his bow tie once more.
He has recited what he is going to say to her at least a hundred times. Having already thought of the perfect place to bring Holland to tonight, he spritzes his cologne and opens the door.
However, he is met with an unexpected visitor. He recognizes the man from just the other day.
"Sir," he greets, surprised that Holland's father would turn up on his doorstep. Holland's father does not respond yet again, just keeps staring at him with red rimmed eyes.
In a split second, Keenan's whole world collapsed.
"Holland..." He breathes.
There is something wrong, isn't there? His heart starts beating incredibly quick as he sprints down the steps, Holland's father following closely behind.
Holland's father taps the back of the driver's seat and after an excruciating ten minutes forty one seconds, the car pulls up in front of the private hospital.
Keenan dashes out of the car into the cold hospital, the strong smell of antiseptic and ethanol engulfing him.
"Which ward is Holland Evans in?"
"I'm sorry sir, only family is allowed into the ward."
"I'm fucking family, goddamn it!" He blows up, completely losing his cool. He slams his hand heavily against the marble countertop and the pain shoots up his arm. He ignores the pain and glares at the staff on duty. His breaths are uneven and he struggles to breathe.
"Please...where is Holland Evans ward?"
He must sound desperate, sound completely hopeless because the staff sighs and points toward the lift.
"VIP suites are at the top most level. It's the first room on the right."
"Thank you."
Without waiting another beat, Keenan is by the lift, impatiently jabbing at the button.
"Son, she's not in very good condition. But, I think you should know that she wanted so very much to see you." Holland's father is by his side again. For a moment Keenan forgets about Holland's father. The only thing he can think about is the woman of his life. The one he only recently realize he might just love.
"I still don't approve of you. But she may not make it. This is what she wants. You are what she wants."
Keenan can only nod numbly. What supposed to hurt did not hurt. He makes no move to console her father who looks just as beaten down. They are all dealing with their own pain.
The elevator dings open and suddenly Keenan feels hollow, he feels something he never felt before. There is only silence that seems to stretch on forever before he registers the sound of machines beeping. Holland's mother is by her side, grasping onto her hand for dear life.
"Oh baby." She sobs.
The doctor is on standby.
"She's not on any life support or anything. She had a tear in her aorta. It's small enough to keep her alive for awhile, but, like her previous doctor mentioned in her chart, too large for a surgery to be successful. Now, she's just holding on. She's unconscious but she's still alive. She looks like she doesn't want to let go just yet. It truly is a miracle. She was admitted awhile ago, just be prepared for anything now." The doctor explains simply to Keenan who is barely paying any attention. Holland's father pats him on the back, excusing the doctor, indicating for him to take his leave.
Keenan's eyes are moist and he is sure now, he has never felt his heart break more painfully than it did now. Not when his father left right after he was born, not even when his mother killed herself.
"I love you baby, so so much." Her mother cries into the pillows, damping the side of Holland's still, pale face. Her father crosses the room in two broad steps and hugs his wife.
"Holland, sweetie. I'm so sorry for not being a better father. I just want you to know that, it's okay to go. You can let go if you're too tired of holding on."
The room is suffocating to be in. The grief and sorrow of everyone in the room is unbearable even. The top of his nose hurt from that and his eyes burnt from the unshed tears. There is a guttural noise that came from Holland's father. He remembers Keenan.
"Let's give him some space. Holland did mention she wanted to see him." Holland's father holds his wife's hand and slowly walks out of the room with her. He however, does not shut the door.
Keenan settles into the chair beside her.
Holland looks like she did that night in Hawaii, completely switched off to the world. She holds his maroon beanie in her hand. He notices this and choked on his tears sadly.
After stomping out of the hotel bar, he settled by the side of the hotel and spent an eternity thinking. His conscience urged him to go back for her, at least to make sure she got back to her room safely. He walked into the bar again, scanning the place for Holland. She was lying face flat on the glass table, snoring loudly.
He tapped her and shook to her no avail, the girl slept like a log. He propped his arm under her knees and the other supporting her back. He lifted her up and walked toward the lift.
She looked up and grinned.
"Keenan! You came back!" She said and booped him on the nose.
"Where's your key?" He asked gruffly.
She dug in her bag for her key card before brandishing it out.
"Don't forget your flight tomorrow. I'm leaving now. Goodbye, Holland." His grey eyes stared deeply into hers.
"How are you going back? You've got no money on you."
"I have my ways." He said as he stepped toward the door, sighing. "I enjoyed our adventure together."
He was thinking about the drunk woman in the bar with the expensive purse sitting two tables from them. He could stay in Hawaii for a short period of time after stealing the purse before going back home.
She propelled herself off the bed and clung tightly to his leg.
"Don't leave me, Keenan. Please don't leave me."
He stilled at the desperation in her voice and the sadness in her eyes. He remembered how he'd said the exact same thing to his mother as she laid on the bed, unmoving and pale when she died. He remembered the immense pain it caused him. He remembered promising himself he would never do that to anyone else.
He sighed. Why had she woken up to say that?
He didn't leave her that night but he hates himself for having even thought about it for one second.
"Hey, I just wanted to say that-" There are tears running down his face now. He is so tired of holding them back.
"-thank you so much for everything again. You brought out the best in me. I'd never felt that much joy in my life until I met you. I want to tell you something. I'd prepared everything for our dinner date tonight. I was going to tell you later tonight. But that's alright, I'll just tell you now since it's something you should hear. Now. Since it's something you should have heard everyday since I met you."
"Knock knock Holland Evans, I'm Keenan Drew and I lo-"
There is a loud buzz from a nearby monitor that rings on and on forever. It resembles the sound of continuous crashing waves from the shore of the beach in Hawaii, the intensity of the lights from the city skyline, the sound of tyres on bitumen during their road trip and the shattering of a promise of adventure.
And then suddenly nothing at all.
The light flashes bright red and just like that, just like that, Holland Evans was gone. Nothing but a body with no soul.
Keenan forgets to breathe, hears himself choke and struggle for air. Keenan wonders if it was his own heart that had stopped beating instead.
For the first time in his life, Keenan Drew sinks to the ground and surrenders to the world. He dry heaves over the tiny silver wastebasket and collapses against the bed frame as the doctor entered the room to pronounce Holland Evans dead.
He closes his eyes and shuts the whole world out.
Holland Evans never got to hear how very much a boy named Keenan Drew loved her.