hiii! i updated a few hours ago, so make sure you read that chapter first before you read this one!!
Lydia White
His hips draw in and out as my breathing becomes staggered and each thrust brings me closer to the edge.
We've been so happy.
He lets out heavy pants and holds on to the headboard with one hand while holding my hand with his other. His chain was dangling from his chest, his curls were sticking to his sweaty forehead.
I bite my lip and grip the bedsheets with my free hand.
We haven't had good sex since my birthday. Everytime we tried, it would just end horribly. But, since we got the news of the pregnancy, we've had sex every other day.
We went to the appointment the doctor had scheduled us for a few days ago. She told us about all the risks, the main one being that it would be easier to lose this baby if my body was stressed. I was given a specific medication for it that I had to take daily, and both Harry and I have been making sure I never forget.
She also gave us a handbook filled with everything new parents should know. There's a lot, but we can do it.
We haven't told anyone yet. Eliza and Liam knew about the miscarriage, but they don't know that I'm still pregnant.
Of course we'll tell them eventually, but for right now Harry and I just want this to be our own little secret.
Harry speeds up his thrusts, making me toss my head back and white knuckle his hand and the bedsheets. I could feel my orgasm approaching, and I could tell he was close too from the way he was knitting his brows together and the expression on his face.
"Fuck, Lydia." he pants.
I bring my head up and kiss his forehead, taking my hand that he wasn't holding and pushing his hair out of his face.
He looks down at me and shoots me a quick, toothy smile that makes his dimple pop.
"I'm close." I whisper through my uneven breaths.
"Let it go, baby." he mumbles, looking down.
With another hard thrust from him, I feel the bliss rip through me. I shut my eyes as I screamed out in pleasure and let my body fall hard into the soft bed. My legs trembled as my chest moved up and down while I regained my breath.
Harry kept rocking his hips in and out, eventually reaching his own climax and throwing his head back as well.
He lets out a groaned "fuck" and then sinks his body down on top of me while we both breathe deeply.
He pulls out and then flips to his back.
"You okay?" he asks through deep pants.
I nod with a smile. He's terrified of crushing my stomach or something during sex, afraid he'll harm the baby.
"I'm perfect." I say.
He smiles and looks over at my naked body sprawled out on the bed, bringing his hand to my stomach and rubbing it very gently.
"Still can't believe you're having my baby." he says under his breath with a smile, looking down at my stomach.
I rest my hand on top of his. "Still can't believe you knocked me up at your fake nightclub." I tease, making him chuckle.
"Oh shuddup."
I really still haven't fully come to terms with the fact that I'm pregnant...that I'm going to be a mother.
I've had my doubts since I found out, and Harry has too. We did plan on having kids in the future, but definitely not right now.
Our lives aren't normal. We have people hunting us down, people who are being compensated for capturing Harry. Harry has a gang to run. On paper, there should be no place for a child in the life we live.
But this is where our journey has brought us. We've both vowed that this baby is our priority.
Harry brings his head down to my stomach and places a small kiss upon it. I haven't started to show at all yet. My stomach was still the same size it was before, and it was crazy to think that there was a baby growing inside of it.
"I'm gonna protect you and your mommy with everything I have." he mutters to our baby in my stomach, making my heart melt.
I run my hand through his curls as what feels like a cemented smile stays on my face.
I love him so much.
"I'm gonna teach him how to shoot a gun." Harry laughs, looking up at me from my stomach.
That's another thing. Harry has convinced himself that this baby is a boy.
"You don't know the gender yet." I roll my eyes with a chuckle.
"Yeah, but it's a boy. I know it." he smirks with confidence.
"Well, I think it's a girl." I argue playfully.
"Hmm, well if it's a girl then you can deal with the diapers." he jokes, patting my stomach and sliding off of the bed.
"Very funny." I say, getting off the bed as well.
I put on my underwear and a pair of shorts and throw on one of his t-shirts because we weren't planning on leaving the house today.
He slips on a pair of grey track pants and remains shirtless.
We walk out of the bedroom and into the kitchen.
Harry starts opening cupboard doors, scanning through them for something to eat.
"You take your pill today?" he asks with his back towards me.
"Yup." I hop onto the countertop with my legs dangling over the edge.
He moves to the fridge and pulls out a carton of eggs, holding it toward me as a way of asking if I want some.
"Ew no." I shake my head in disgust.
He gives me a glare. "Why not?"
"The thought of eating eggs right now makes me wanna puke."
He rolls his eyes. "I forgot that pregnant women are so fucking picky." he says.
I shrug. "Well, you're the one who finished inside me."
He tries to suppress the smile creeping onto his lips. "It's a good thing you're cute."
Harry ended up making eggs for himself, while I just had some fruit. We sat across from each other at the table.
Harry started looking around, at the ceiling, over his shoulder at the living room, keeping his forehead creased as he seemed to be lost in thought.
"Whatcha thinking about?" I ask, making him snap his attention back towards me.
"Nothing it's just, have you ever thought about moving into a house?" he questions.
I bite down on a blueberry and shake my head.
"Not really. Why?"
"Well its just that we're gonna have to buy a lot of baby stuff soon. That requires a lot of space." he explains.
I didn't really think about that.
My apartment was decent sized for the two of us. It was smaller than Eliza's, which meant she had more space than I did for all her baby needs.
"You're right." I mumble, now examining my apartment with my own eyes.
"Not that we need to rush into it, but I mean, you don't even have a guest room that we could turn into a nursery."
He was making painfully good points.
But buying a house is huge. I know that Harry has the money for it, but it's such a big step.
"Don't you have a cabin with the guys? Why don't we just move in there? We've lived with them before." I suggest.
"They don't know you're pregnant."
"Well they're gonna find out eventually." I say.
"Yeah but, I don't know how I feel about them being around our kid." he tugs his lips to the side.
"Are you worried they'll hurt it?" I furrow my brows.
He shakes his head immediately. "No, no of course not. I'm just worried they'll taint their mind and our baby will grow up to be some garbage-kicking nightmare of a human being." he explains, making me laugh a little.
"I don't think that'll happen, babe."
He shrugs. "Okay well, like I said, we don't have to rush into anything right now."
There was a lot that came with being pregnant, and I'm quickly figuring that out. The space issue was one thing, but there's also name picking, learning how to breastfeed, delivering the baby.
That was one thing that terrified me. I've heard horror stories about giving birth, and for some reason, knowing that I'll be in that same position in seven months has compelled me to look deeper into such stories.
You can poop yourself during childbirth. That's a thing.
You can also tear your vagina open all the way to your butt. Also a thing.
It was safe to say that I was freaking myself out.
I wanted to talk to Eliza about all of this, because I had so many questions...but it's too early to say anything about the pregnancy yet.
So, for right now, I just have to figure it out with Harry.
The thought of us becoming parents was surreal.
The man I met in an alleyway and then proceeded to walk through hell and back with was now going to be the father of my child.
If you had told me back then that I'd be having a baby with a vicious gang leader who really isn't all that vicious at all, I would've laughed in disbelief.
In all seriousness, I can't wait to be a mom. And, I know that Harry is going to be an incredible father.
The way he takes care of me is going to channel into how he takes care of our baby, and that makes me so happy.
He doesn't believe in himself, but I do.
//
some cute content for y'all :)
i love all of you soooo much ❤️❤️