B.R: there's a slight trigger warning here, thoughts of suicide, suicidal tendencies and more. If you've experienced thoughts such as these please be advised about reading the chapter ahead.
"Eliza!.....Eliza!" My eyes snapped open as I faced the plain white ceiling of my bedroom. My eyebrows scrunched up together as I quickly sat up expecting to see those blue eyes pierce my brown orbs...but they we no where in sight. Why would he be here? He's got a woman twice your age to occupy him. My eyes slowly lowered to the royal blue sheets that hung around my queen sized bed, the mattress was firm from my lack of occupation of it for months.
My hands started to shake uncontrollably as I watched with uninterested eyes, they had started to do that for the past week, making it impossible for me to hold anything, of course the lack of sleeping and eating might be the reason. I was going to die soon anyway why waste any food or sleep on me. I started to hate the thoughts that had started to occupy my mind the past week but I refused to fight them...they were my only comfort in knowing I was still alive. I slowly lifted my blankets off my legs taking comfort in the fact that it only steadied my hands for few seconds before they started to twitch as I made my way to my vanity. I shakily grabbed the orange pill bottle in the locked drawer, drowning two pills before throwing the bottle back in and slamming it shut before sitting on the small bench in front of the mirror as I stared back at myself.
The doctor said they would help me sleep...I had maybe slept a total of two hours this past week. The thoughts wouldn't go away and the visions of the future clouded my mind so much that I couldn't sleep anymore. Only you would develop a case of insomnia before you die. Did I forget to mention the thoughts developed a sarcastic bitch persona and it was annoying the fuck out of me. Of course I couldn't mention any of this Elena was with Stefan at the cabin and Jeremy has stayed pretty far away from me. You need to spend some more time with him before you go. I shake my head softly as I lower my hands from my eyes and see the deep dark circles that occupied my under eyes. Why would Damon even find you attractive? Look at you... dark circles, life less eyes...you're getting fat even if you don't even eat.
I looked over myself deciding that I could go another day without eating knowing that if I attempted to eat my mind wouldn't let me live it down. I haven't heard much from Matt, Care or Bonnie...if I was being honest with myself I slowly started to realize that if I didn't call or text first I probably wouldn't hear from them in a while. I scooted my chair back shakily as I started to stand before I felt faint and went to grab the desk on the vanity but my shaky hands refused to cooperate and I brought the vanity down with me. I barely heard the glass shatter as I hit the ground. I think I heard my left hand crack on the weight of my fall but I couldn't care to make a noise, it was five o'clock on a Friday and I was alone. I blinked slowly as I laid on the hard wood floor debating if I could even get up. I decided to asses the damage and wince softly as the glass spread around my room the drawings, pictures and my moms old jewelry box spread around the room as well. The moonlight softly reflected off the shards and I had to stop myself from touching the glass. I used my right had to slowly ease myself up but the shaking of my hands hindered me and took me a couple of tries.
Finally on my third try I was able to lean against the under board of my bed and prop myself on it. I heard the familiar beep of my phone and slowly decided to get off the ground and make my way to the outlet of the opposite side. I looked down at the text message that displays Jenna name and the message stating that they were at the grill and that she should join them. My right hand starts to shake as I try and type my message back to her without using my left hand. I type out that I would see them soon and slowly walk across the glass not caring about the feeling of the glass cutting my toes and skin repeatedly.
My hands start to shake dramatically as I make my way to the doors of the Mystic Grill. I shoved my hands into my leather jacket trying to conceal them as best as I could. Jenna freaked out a few days back when she saw me trying to steady them when I tried to eat some cereal. That was before you've given up food in general. Maybe if you weren't so fat you wouldn't have just about broke your hand today. My left hand didn't hurt as bad anymore , after spending an hour trying to conceal the bags under my eyes and to slip in my familiar black tight jeans and black tank top before deciding to put my jacket on to cover my hideous body from the public. Deciding to wear my leather boots probably wasn't the best decision as I wobbled around dodging people as I made my way to the back towards a familiar mop of red hair.
"Hey baby girl." Jenna said cautiously as I slipped into a chair next to her across form Alaric. I gave her a short smile as I cautiously pulled my shaking hands out of my jacket and on the table. Jenna's lips pulled into a frown as my shaking intensified as I tired to lay them flat against the wood. Rick quickly reached across the table and grab my right hand to steady it as he rubbed his thumb across my knuckles to cease the shaking. I gave him a warm smile as he tried to cover his worry in his eyes. He had been staying in our house more throughout the week, I think maybe word had spread about my decision to be the twin in the sacrifice and I think he was trying to stay close to me. My left hand lifted shakily and covered his hand on my right one and gave him a quick squeeze telling him I was okay. He nodded softly before the waitress set their plates down in front of them. "Did you want anything Liz?" I softly shook my head as I watched a familiar mop of blonde hair make his way around tables while dropping down drinks occasionally on people's tables. He shifted suddenly and met my eyes before I looked back down at the table. Suddenly I felt arms warp around my arms and turn slowly to my right as his blonde hair wrapped around my face. I gave a small chuckle as I lifted my hand and gave his a soft squeeze. "Hey Mattie." I uttered softly as he squeezed my shoulders again before releasing me and running back to the bar to place orders in.
My eyes widen in panic as I watched Damon push back a chair and sit down next to Rick. My hands quickly shoved off the table as I lowered my eyes to their shaking. Watching in a panic as their shaking increased. I felt his eyes bore into me but I couldn't face his eyes, we haven't talked in a week, it got to the point that I didn't think he would even text me that I decided for a better or worse judgment just to block his contact. He would never call you anyway. I winced slightly at my subconscious knowing she was right anyway. He hasn't talked to me, he hasn't texted me, and he hasn't even laid his eyes on me since today. The first few nights I waited up all night in case he would visit me like he used too...but he never showed not once. Andie was more important you're dead anyway the full moons coming up soon. "Other than your lecture on the history of Mystic Falls, did you get anything out of Elijah?" I had finally heard his voice in what felt like forever, it was deeper than I remembered more forceful...more hateful. His eyes never left me and I knew the hateful tone was meant for me. Please stop crushing my heart you wouldn't let me love you now look at me...look at us. "No, it was boring." Alaric's answered back slowly as he watch the encounter between us.
"Of course, Jenna thinks he's charming." Alaric's started back in jealousy as Jenna started to sit up a little more in her seat from besides me. "You sounded jealous. Sound a bit jealous." I started shaking uncontrollably as I hear the bitches voice for the first time in forever. "Kinda do." Andie Answers back as she leans against Damon behind his chair. I quickly snap towards Jenna as she looks back at me startled, "I can't...I have to go." I whispered out as Jenna nods slowly as I quickly push out of my chair making a large screeching noise as the table goes silent watching me. You're pathetic shaking in front of the woman that stole you're everything. My hands wouldn't stop shaking as I tried lay them in my arms so Damon wouldn't notice but he would notice anyway, my whole body wouldn't stop shaking. My breaths came out uneven as l struggled to breath without breaking down as I rushed as fast as I could out of the grill.
A pained whine came out of my mouth as I felt his arm grab and yank me around to finally face him. My eyes frantically tried to focus on anything other than him as my breathing started to pick up as I started into panic attack. His hands quickly snaked up and onto my checks forcing me to face his breathtaking eyes. "Breath...in..out you got this baby." My eyes squeezed shut in pain at the former nickname he had given me. "No..look at me..please." The please came out in a Painful whisper as my eyes finally meet his. His eyes lowered as he watched my hands start to erratically shake and caught me as I finally lost my battle in trying to stay standing. "Eliza..what have you done?" His pained question came as he dropped with me to the ground stopping me from hitting the ground hard. He slowly wrapped his arms around me as my breathing wouldn't stop erratically coming out.
My hand erratically searches through my bag as I pulled it around my shoulder. Damon watches in confusion as I pull the familiar orange bottle out of the bag and frantically rip open the white top to get to the small blue pills in the bottom of the bottle. My hand suddenly shakes and the bottle slips from my hands spilling the contents across the pavement. "No." I grasp out softly as I push away from Damon quickly and try and retrieve the pills back into the bottle. Suddenly the bottle is ripped from my hands and I watch frantically as Damon picks up each individual pill and quickly puts them back in before handing me two and watching in worry as I quickly drown the two. Anxiety pills did nothing but give me a headache but at least it'll stop the shaking for a while. Damon looks down at the label of the bottle before ripping my bag from my shoulder and pulling out three more labeled bottles before looking back at me with tears in his eyes.
Damon suddenly throws the bottles back into my purse before throwing it over his shoulders and quickly grabbing me off the ground as he pulls his keys from his pocket before carrying me to the familiar baby blue Camaro that only brought a familiar pain to my chest.
I watched Damon cautiously as he kicked in the door of the Gilbert residence and watched anxiously as he speeds up the stairs and to my familiar bedroom door. My eyes widen as I go to stop him before he opens the door but I'm too late and I watch as his eyes widen in horror as he takes in the state of my room. The glass still covered my floor and had made the decision to start ripping up pictures of us together one night and haven't had the chance to tape them together again. The curtains still hung loosely on their tracks as I decide in a fit to tear them up and rip them from the hinges. My dresser was still overturned from the second day of moving back in after i remembered a moment in which he marveled at my underwear drawer..I didn't have the strength to lift it back up.
Damon slowly shook his head as he walked in cautiously and sat me on the bed as he took my purse and dumped it out next to me before he flashed out of the room and came back seconds later with gaze and bandages. He shook off his jacket before lifting his sleeves up of his black shirt and turning to face me with dark eyes. He cautiously stepped over the mess to the side of the bed where I sat and crouched down as he reached up suddenly and I flinched back before I could stop myself. "I...I would never..." he whispered out as he saw my reaction to his hands. He slowly shook his head before grabbing my jacket and dragging it off my body. His eyes suddenly widen two sizes as he saw the familiar cuts up and down my arms. I look down in shame as he flipped my arm over and I heard him take a sudden breath in as he realized I had cut myself all the way around my arms.
Tears gathered in my eyes as I turned them to face my lap. "Why?" He whispered out as he opened up the gaze and bandages and started to wrap them around my arms. I couldn't answer his question, you were pathetic...we've been fighting too long. Once he was done he examined his work before frowning at my obvious weight loss as he leaned over and grabbed the pill bottles each and every one before sitting down on the ground in front of me. "Explain." One word from him and the tears started falling down my face. "Jenna took me to the doctor a few days after the historical society.." I took a breath as I felt his hand gently wipe the tears from under my eyes. "He diagnosed me with anxiety, depression and...insomnia. You remember that day you found me in the basement?" I asked quietly as he nodded with the pain clearly showing through his eyes.
"I've had really bad dreams but...I don't think they're dreams and I couldn't sleep after that. The shaking started a few days after I couldn't sleep anymore and then I couldn't eat anymore and they got worse. The cutting only happened once...I didn't know what I was doing until I was done." I whispered the last part softly as the tears started leaking from Damon's eyes as he shuttered out sobs before he buried his head in my lap as he started to shake. My hand reached down to touch his hair before I stopped myself millimetres from his dark raven locks and slowly dropped my hand to my side.
Damon suddenly jumped up and attached himself to me as he threw us up towards the top of my bed. He wrapped his arms around my waist and gently laid my head in the crook of his neck as he crosses our feet together keeping me trapped next to him. He's doing this out of pity not love. My eyes squeezed shut trying to silence my thoughts as I breathed in Damon as he silently shook against me. "I'm sorry.." he whispered out softly as he raised his head and kissed my forehead through his sobs. He unwrapped one of his arms before biting into his wrist and extending to towards me. A familiar pang fitted through my heart as I tasted the familiar metallic taste of blood before facing Damon's eyes. "Sleep...I love you."
"Which is why you should encourage the gentleman to take their after dinner drinks in here while you do coffee in the kitchen with the girls." "Hmm. That is a little too sexist for me." I groaned out softly at the intruding noise, "stop talking." Damon's voice echoes out as I feel him near me. I jump a little as I feel his arm wrap around my waist as my eyes squint open as Damon sits me on his lap. My eyes widen as I take in the familiar parlor of the Salvatore Boarding house as Damon nozzles his head into my neck as I watch the fire slowly pick up. "You look better now." He says softly as he kisses the side of my neck before pulling his head from my neck and meeting my eyes. My eyes fill with confusion as Damon brings his nose up to mine and gives it a small rub before the doorbell sounds and I hear footsteps make their way to the front door. "Who invited him?" Damon looks up from the couch at the intruder.
"John. Surprise. Leave." I groaned out and it was my time to bury my head into Damon's shoulder as I caught view of Johns smirk. "When Jenna told me she was going to a dinner party for Elijah, I decided I couldn't miss out on all the fun and games." "What fun and games?" I muttered out as John looks over to me in surprise. "Why is it always my least favorite daughter." I quickly retract my arm from around Damon and raised my middle finger up to him before I noticed my lack of jacket. As if Damon could sense my panic he quickly brings my arms down in front of me as my eyes widen in amazement at the lack of cuts over them and the amount of fat on them again. "I told you..you look better now." He whispered into my ear before kissing my check and softly shifting so we could stand up once again.
"I hate to break it to you Damon but according to Elijah your family is so not a founder of this town." I watch awkwardly as Jenna pours Damon some wine to the right of me as he sarcastically looks over to Elijah as Elijah attempts to talk in an uncomfortable unacented voice. "Hmm, do tell." "Well, as I mentioned to Jenna earlier, a faction of settlers migrated from Salem after the witch trials in the 1690's. Over the next hundred years they developed this community where they could feel safe from persecution." I look to my left as Elijah quickly makes eye contact with me as he chews on the casserole I'm sure someone bought. He gave me a small nod as I face back over to Jenna across from me. "Hmm. Because they were witches." "Yeah, but there's no tangible proof there were witches in Salem." I roll my eyes as I push around my food, "shows how much you know." I whisper under my breath as Elijah gives a small smile to my words and Damon reaches over to squeeze my hand, probably telling me to not draw attention to myself considering I'd be dead in seconds because I'm closest to Elijah something he insisted on when we all sat down. "Andies a journalist. Big on facts."
"Well there's this lore that says there was this wave of anti witch hysteria. It broke out in the neighboring settlement, so these witches were rounded up. They were tied to stakes in a field together and, uh, burned." Elijah explained as he took another sip of his wine. "Some say you could hear the screams from miles around us." Elijah said as he turned to face me as we caught each others eyes. If I didn't know any better I'd say he was threatening us. "They were consumed by the fire. Could you pass the.." "I wouldn't repeat this to the historical society." Jenna and Andie started to laugh as I watch as Alaric starts to get this look over his face as he watches Jenna faun over Elijah's tale. "It's starting to sound a little like a ghost story to me." John finally states stupidly from the other side of the table. "So, uh why do you want to know the location of these alleged massacres?" Damon asks as he faces Elijah again. "You know... a healthy historians curiosity, of course." "Of course." Damon replies sarcastically back.
"The gentleman should take their drinks in the study." Andie says stupidly as she looks over to Damon. "I have to say the food was almost as wonderful as the company." "I like you." I roll my eyes at Andie as I make my way from the Corner where Elijah stands. I shove John off of Alaric as he threatens his relationship with Jenna. "I want my ring back Alaric." I look over and slap him across the face as he stumbles back. "Fuck off John." I say as Rick grabs his phone before rushing to the study.
"Elijah has Liz told you that John is their uncle slash father?" "Yes I'm well aware of it." Elijah answers back as I make my way back to the table in confusion. "Of course, they hate him, so there's absolutely no need to keep him on the endangered species list." My eyes widen as Andie instructs Rick where her note pad is as John glares daggers back at me and Damon. "What I'd like to know Elijah, Is how you intend on killing Klaus." My eyes widen at the question from John as I realized we were the only four at the table left.
"Gentleman, there's a few things we should probably get clear right now. I allow you to live solely to keep an eye on Eliza and Elena. I allow Eliza and Elena to remain here and in their house living their lives with their friends as they do as a courtesy. If you become a liability, I'll take them away from you and you'll never see Eliza again." He says the last part to Damon as my eyes start to widen. "Okay my first question is when you got here to mystic.." suddenly Elijah screams out in pain as we all jump up as Damon grabs one of my arms and yanks me towards his chest away from the original. My eyes widen as I watch Rick stab the stake into Elijah's shoulder.
My eyes widen as Elijah comes to the door of the log cabin. Damon and I speed here as fast as we could. "I'm going to have to call your bluff." He says as Elena threatens to become a vampire before Klaus can make it to Mystic Falls. "You may call her bluff but you can't call mine." I say as I yank the knife from Elena's hands and shove it through my side. I yell out as Elijah yells in anger as I drop to the floor and catch the sides of Damon face as they drop in worry. "The deal is on with me Elijah." "Yes okay let me heal you." I drop the knife from my abdomen as I look up to him again, "let me have your word." "You have my word." I nod my head as I lean out of the house and shove the dagger through Elijah's heart and stagger back as Damon catches me as he quickly swears under his breath before shoving his arm into my mouth once more, filling my senses with the metallic taste once again.
Writers Note: hey guys I hope you've enjoyed the chapter so far and would like you guys to know that my sister is writing a book on Kylo Ren fan fiction and I Think it deserves so much love her book is called Discord and it's got the beautiful image of the supreme leader it would mean a lot to me if you guys checked it out! Sorry for the promotion but I think it deserves so much love.