As unedited as unedited gets
When I'm with you, I feel like wearing nothing at all...
The song wearing nothing by Dagny played softly in the car as Tobi drove down the road to the hotel he was lodged at, while Dallas sat quietly, her eyes shut and her head against the window.
It was a brief 10 minutes that she waited before he arrived and picked her up.
"Are you okay?" He asks after an eternity of silence and she opens her eyes, her head still leaned against the window.
"I'm fine" she says only before shutting her eyes again
"I'm here if you want to talk" he says only, knowing from all his years with her that pushing further was going to end in nothing but an argument
"Okay" she murmurs and he nods before resuming silence once again.
A breath quietly left her lips as she thought of the woman whose house she'd angrily walked out of. She felt stupid, and rightfully so.
What was the basis of her anger? There wasn't one and if there was, it was stupid.
No matter what, it was no excuse for her to have acted the way she did. She not only insulted her by throwing away her care, she'd worsened it by walking away.
She couldn't have been more stupid at that point.
Do not walk away during an argument, that had to be a rule somewhere. Of all the things she could have done, she decided to just walk out on her.
"And the award for the biggest asshole goes to Dallas Zilkaya" she murmurs under her breath "Oh wait, we also have the award for the worst girlfriend in the world"
"What's that? oh, the award for the biggest jerk too?" she adds and Tobi glances at her with the raise of a brow, signifying confusion, and back at the road
"Something happen?" he asks and she looks at him
"Um...I had a fight with Monroe" she says hesitantly, not confident he's the one she should talk to about it
"What happened?"
"I was being idiotic and defensive for no good reason" she sighs "Its really all my fault" she felt terrible, more for walking out on her.
"She was just trying to be empathetic and I was just an asshole. Its Mary Lin all over again" she says, her eyes watering with tears as she recalled how hurt Alexia looked just before she'd slammed the door shut "I don't even have to try, I just automatically push people away which is so stupid cause all they're doing is caring" she continues mindlessly
"I mean all through our argument, there was this tiny part that told me to just shut the fuck up, drink some water and calm the fuck down but I completely ignore it cause there's this gigantic part, the part that is a douche that just pushes me down the wrong path. I walked out. I never ever walk out during an argument but I walked out, God, I'm done" she rants wiping the tears that slipped down her eyes
"Now I don't even know what to do. Do I call? Text? What am I even going to say? I really messed up, really bad"
"Not so much that it can't be fixed" Tobi says and she just stares at him so he continues "She loves you and you say you love her, it'll be fine once you apologize sincerely" he offers showing the best concern he could
Honestly, he could not say he felt bad that they fought, after all he didn't want them to work out. How could he when he also wanted to be with her?
It would be thrilling news for him if he heard they broke up.
"I say I love her? Why did you say it like that? You also don't think I love her?" she asks with a frown
"I...look, I don't know okay? Its you, you're in love one minute then you're not" he says and she scoffs
"And what's that supposed to mean?"
"I'm just saying. You met a straight girl who easily falls for you in a span of what, 2 months? 3? You wouldn't just let her go right? You'd feel too bad and so maybe you're just convincing yourself that you love her" he says and a glare sticks to her face as quickly as a bullet reaches its target
"Stop the car" she says and he looks at her briefly
"What?"
"Stop the fucking car, Tobi. I am a bit sensitive right now so whatever you have said or are going to say is going to make me really mad so I'm just going to get down and be by myself for a bit to calm down" she says already taking off her seat belt
"Dallas..."
"Tobi, please stop the car. Being in your presence right now is doing a lot of things to me" she says and he eventually succumbs, parking the car at the side of the road
"Thanks for picking me and sorry for bringing you out" she says before getting out the car and shutting the door
Its a few seconds of hesitation before Tobi drives away, deciding not to go too far in case she calls again which was most likely not going to happen.
He was lucky she did not smack him across the face.
Dallas gets onto the sidewalk and sighs in relief when she sees a convenience store. She needed to sit a while, make some calls and have some water. She walks into the store and to the counter
"Hi" she says making the man taking care of the store to look up from his phone and at her, a look of surprise immediately covering his face
"You're...You're Dallas Zilkaya" he states in astonishment
"Yeah, hi" she says "And you are Ron" she says looking down at his badge and back at him
"You know my name?" he asks with excitement
"Um...I saw...Yes, I know your name" she says instead. Technically she now knows his name so its the same thing.
"Awesome"
"Yeah. I was wondering if I could get somewhere to sit a while? I need to talk to a few people and I don't want to do it out on the sidewalk so if there's a room, office, I could just go in. 10 minutes tops" she says
"Oh, of course. Anything" he says and she smiles
"You're very kind" she says
"This way" he says before leading her to the small room behind the counter, housing a small mattress, a small table and chair, clothes all over the place.
"I..uh, stay at the store sometimes" he says, quickly picking up all the clothes and dumping them in a drawer that took 5 huge shoves to finally close
"That's fine. Sorry for suddenly intruding" she says
"No, of course you're not intruding" he says quickly. (I just had deja vu about a scene in this book. So fucking weird) He had hoped to watch her on TV while she was on the GoldenJeff show but this was even better.
She was in his store, in person.
"Well, I'll just take the call now"
"Of course, I'll be at the store" he says and she nods, waiting for him to leave and shut the door behind him before pulling her phone out of her pocket and sitting on the single chair in the room
She turns on her notifications that she'd turned off just before she left to the beach and immediately, the phone starts beeping repeatedly as notifications of messages, missed calls, articles, fall in
She opens her messages first
JIM
* Miss Zilkaya, please call me
Celine
*Dallas, where are you?
*Can you please answer your phone?
PR Head
*Miss Zilkaya, its really urgent that you pick my calls
*You have a show to be at. Its 20 minutes past the opening time already, please call me
*xxx- xxx- xxxx
*Miss Zilkaya, this is the event manager, Leo
*The show starts in 30 minutes and I cannot reach you
*Its really urgent, please call me back
Hugo💞
*Didi, answer my calls please?
*Or at least, my texts
*Alexia is here and she's really worried
*Dallas, where are you?
*Can you at least pick Alexia's calls? She's been calling nonstop
*Elijah is going to pass out if we go out to look for you once more, please call?
*Dallas...
She pauses briefly before tapping on Alexia's messages
Mi amor ❤️😍
*Dallas, please call me back? I'm really worried
*Where are you? Are you okay?
*Dallas, pleaseeeeeeee text me back
*Are you really going to ignore everyone?
*I'm really worried, Dallas. Is something wrong?
*I hope you know you can come to me anytime cause I'm going to always be there so please call me? Or just text back and let me know you're okay
*I've called a hundred times already, you won't pick even one up?
*Dallas why are you doing this to me? Please call
*You're scaring me
*Do we need to call the police or something?
*Hugo says it has to be up to 24 hours so we can't
*Oh God, Dallas I'll kill you if I get a heart attack because of you
*I won't, please call me?
A small laugh leaves her lips as her eyes go over her last messages. "So dramatic" she murmurs under her breath before going into her father's chat
Padre♥️🦋
Sabelia, where are you?
Hugo is saying you suddenly disappeared
You won't pick my calls
Are you okay?
Please call me when you can
Mon chéri💕💞
Are you okay?
She sighs quietly, pushing her hair back as she sees there are still a whole lot of messages. She quickly opens her father's message again, typing out a reply saying she's fine and doing the same for Hugo before going out of her messages and calling Kyle, the PR head
"Miss Zilkaya" comes immediately
"Hey, how are things?"
"Well, there are already a lot of articles about you not coming to the show. Some are curious and some are angry" he speaks quickly and she can hear his footsteps moving fast against tiles. She was certain the whole her missing the show thing was stressing him out and he was working hard to kill whatever consequences it would have on her and her company.
It was his job to make sure they looked good to the public and he didn't play with it.
"Okay um...just arrange a meeting with the host of the show for whenever he can meet, I should speak to him"
"Already did that. The meeting is on Tuesday, thankfully he's not as upset as the 10, 000 people who were waiting on you" he says
"Alright thank you and I'm so sorry about this"
"No, its fine. I wish you'd have called though so it wouldn't be such a surprise but I'll try my best to suppress this" he says
"Thank you" she says
"Goodnight miss Zilkaya" he says
"Goodnight" she says before hanging up.
She taps on the news app and truly, there were various articles about her disappearance
Dallas Zilkaya ditches show!
CEO of Black Pearls does not show up for the...
Dallas Zilkaya stands up almost 10,ooo people at the GoldenJeff...
Audience at the GoldenJeff show disappointed by the disappearance of...
Pride? Young CEO does not appear for GoldenJeff show
She lets out a breath before going out of the app. There really was no point reading all these. She was just going to meet with the host, explain whatever and see what they can work out.
"This is what happens when you're selfish" she murmurs to herself "Who leaves a prior appointment to go cry? Pathetic"
Really pathetic
The voice in her head agrees and she rolls her eyes. Of course, its there to help her bring herself down.
"Like I don' t know" she murmurs, her mind going back to Alexia. More than what the public thought of her, she worried what Alexia now thought of her.
"Fuck, what should I do now?" she groans aloud just as Ron comes in
"About?"
"Um...nothing" she says standing up from the chair
"I was wondering if you wanted anything?"
"Water please" she says with a small smile and he returns it with a grin
______
ALEXIA
1: 23AM
"You're so irritating to be around" I mimic under my breath with a frown "Says the one who was being so annoying" I say as I wipe the table clean
I'm so angry with everything and now I am angry cleaning.
I should be sleeping.
"How does someone just suddenly go from thank you for coming to I don't need you?" I question scrubbing hard at the table I'd polished twice already "She's crazy, that's it. She must be out of her mind cause that's just crazy"
"I mean seriously, she was acting like I slapped her. I probably should have, maybe she'd come back to her senses. She's acting like she's some goddess that feels no hurt. You look like a goddess is different from being one, its common sense" I rant to no one in particular, dropping the rag and starting to fluff the throw pillows on the couch and place them back.
"As a human, its normal that we have difficult times. Shouldn't you let someone help then? But no, just yell cause you can" I drop the pillow, picking another and fluffing it. "To worsen it, she walks out. Seriously? You just walk out when someone is talking to you? What kind of insane behavior is that?"
"She's definitely out of her mind, definitely. She needs a psychiatrist cause she's insane" I decide as I fluff the last of the pillows, moving to the vacuum and turning it on
I'm not able to even start vacuuming as a knock comes on the door, causing me to look at it.
Who's knocking at this time?
I turn off the vacuum, looking back at the door when the knock comes again.
I slowly walk over to the door, hesitating as the knock comes again.
God, please I don't want to die today. (A/N I totally wrote this the moment Sia sings the line I don't want to die, I don't want to die from the song bird set free. I really do be in sync sometimes)
Or get robbed.
Or kidnapped.
Or raped.
Yeah, I should probably not open the door.
The knock comes again, sounding more impatient and I let out a breath, picking up the mop stick
"Please, please, don't be a creepy old man or criminal" I pray quietly before slowly turning the lock of the door and opening the door ever so slightly and quietly so I can peep at whoever it is and surprise fills me when I see Dallas
I open the door better and she looks up from her phone and at me
"I was just about to call" she says
"What are you doing here?" I ask, not to be rude. I was truly curious and surprised at her sudden visit
"Can I come in?"
"Um...yeah" I say opening the door better and she walks in while I shut the door behind her.
"Did you leave something?" I ask leading us to the living room
"No, no I didn't" she says tucking her hair behind her ear and dropping her phone on the table
"What then?" I ask as she frowns in confusion when she sees the vacuum cleaner, rag and then the mop stick still in my hand
"Are you cleaning?" she asks
"No...I mean yes, but...just...whatever, why are you here again?" I ask instead
"Um well, I just wanted to apologize about earlier"
"By this time?"
"Yes, by this time. I know its late but its killing me leaving things like that between us so yeah, I'm here by this time" She says
"To apologize" I state than question
"To apologize" she confirms "I was totally out of line earlier and I'm so sorry" she says and I say nothing "I was such an asshole and you did nothing to deserve how rude I was. It was so wrong of me to have treated you that way and I am so, so, so, sincerely sorry"
"You don't look sorry, you look like you just don't want to have us fight. You don't seem sorry for what you did" I say and honestly that was exactly what it seemed like
She was apologizing but I knew there was some part of her that felt she did nothing wrong and I should have let her be. A part of her subconscious that defended her actions.
Its Dallas, she's a reasonable human and more logical and mature than anyone I know, except for some hours ago, so I of course expect that she'd apologize cause she is sensible enough and responsible enough to admit to a wrong but while she's admitting to her wrong, there's a part of her that feels she did what she had to do at that moment.
A part that was convinced I'd pushed her and so she shouldn't be held responsible for her actions. If you poke at a sleeping tiger, it shouldn't be held responsible for whatever it does when it awakens right?
"Of course I am sorry, I swear" she says "I was wrong and I know that. I'm really sorry for yelling at you and speaking very rudely. I'm even more sorry for walking out on you, that was so immature and stupid and I sincerely apologize" she pours out and I nod
"Okay but, I just want to understand one thing. You yelled at me and walked out because I care about you?" I ask trying to really understand the situation
"I said I was sorry"
"I know but is it just me? Am I the problem? Why can't you confide in me instead of being so upset?" I ask and she sighs
"Can we just drop this? I apologized already right? Can we move past these?"
"No we can't, make me understand. Every time I am going through a difficulty, be it school or home, you're the first person I pour my heart out to because you tell me to come to you whenever life is not so good and I do, because I feel I can confide in you and get the comfort I need to get through it from you. But, when its you, you yell at me and call me irritating, I don't understand" I say with a frown "What is it exactly? You don't trust me?"
"Of course I do" she says pushing her hair back "I trust you, Monroe. This really has nothing to do with trust"
"Then what is it? Is it because I'm not Kofi?" I ask and she frowns
"What are you saying now?"
"I'm just asking but it seems its the truth. That's the problem right? I'm not Kofi so I'm not good enough for you to confide in" I say and she rubs her palm across her face, a breath leaving her lips
"I did not say that" she says calmly
"No, but its implied in your actions"
"Oh God, what are you saying? What actions?" she asks and I want to drop it because of how exhausted she looks but I'd rather sort this out first
"What actions? How about every single one?"
"Monroe please I beg you, lets not do this" she pleads
"Lets not do what? Talk this out?" I ask
"Bring up more issues, lets not do that"
"Leave then. If you don't want to properly address this, leave. You did once already" I say and she just stares at me before nodding
"I'll see you later then" she says picking her phone from the table
"You're leaving?" I ask surprised
"You gave me an option to" she says putting the phone in her pocket
"So you're going to leave because I said you could?" I ask and she says nothing "Dallas, what's wrong? Did I do something? Are you upset with me? What is it cause I don't understand why you're acting this way and treating me like this" I say, my eyes watering with tears
"Please don't cry" she says
"I don't know what to do" I say quietly, feeling a sob rise in my throat "I don't understand why you're being like this"
"I'm sorry" she says taking my hand in hers and I feel tears blur my vision, some slipping down "God, I'm so sorry I keep being insensitive to your feelings"
"Its just...I yelled at you a while ago which is ironic cause I can't take getting yelled at. I don't want that to happen again so I want to not talk about something that might cause me to"
"I mean I don't even know what exactly to base my anger on, its stupid and so childish but I can't even control it. Before I can think, I've said or done something terrible and its already killing me that I acted that way with you. The last thing I want to do is hurt you again" she says bringing her thumb to wipe away my tears "I'm really sorry I'm making you cry, I'm really really sorry"
"I love you so much" she says placing her forehead against mine and I stare into her eyes, my eyes holding fresh tears
"It doesn't feel like it" I say quietly, tears slipping down at my own words
"I know but I really do" she says "I love you more than you can imagine, I really do"
"Stop treating me like this then. It feels like you get distant everyday and it doesn't feel good. I want to be there for you but you keep pushing me away and it really hurts" I say
"I'm sorry, I just...its fine. I'll try to be better" she says instead and I nod against her
"Promise?" I ask
"I'll try" she says only and I nod, not pushing it.
"Stay over?" I ask wrapping my arms around her and placing my head against her chest, listening to her heart beat calmly
"Okay"
"Don't walk out again" I say quietly after a while of silence "It hurt more than anything that happened at that time"
"I'm sorry" she says only, seemingly the only words on her tongue
"I'm scared"
"Of what?"
"I don't know, I'm just scared something terrible is going to happen and I'd be left feeling miserable" I say
"Guess I'll be even more miserable then" she says, wrapping her arms around me and I let out a sigh
"I love you" I say quietly, tears filling my eyes
I wasn't even sure why I was on the verge of tears. You know when you just have that feeling like something terrible or depressing is going to happen and you just feel sad ahead of time.
Yeah, that's exactly what's happening
"I love you" she says back, bringing my face so I'm looking at her "Don't cry, you'll make me cry too" she says with a chuckle, wiping the stray tears that fell down her eyes
"I won't" I say despite the fact that tears were already falling down my eyes
"I'm sorry I was so terrible to you" she says, sniffing quietly as she failed to keep away her tears
"Its okay, just promise you won't run away when it gets tough"
"I won't if its tough on just me" she says and I don't know why but I decide to not think too much about what she'd said
"Stop crying" I say bringing my hand and wiping her cheeks clean
"You stop first" she says back, wiping my own tears away
"You stop" I say back
"No, you stop first"
"You started it" I defend and she gasps dramatically
"Liar, you did"
"I did not!"
"You totally did. Cry baby" she says and I slap her arm lightly
"I'm not a crybaby!"
"Crybaby" she says sticking her tongue out at me
"Stop"
"Crybaby" she says again, quickly moving away from me, knowing I'll slap her arm again
"I'll kill you"
"An angry crybaby huh?" she teases
"Okay, that's it" I say before chasing after her and she runs away from me and up the stairs
"Come back here" I yell running after her
"Crybaby!" she yells back, laughing
"Dallas, stop!"
*************
I hope not everyone dies...
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