Note: [Text] = Thoughts-one-has | [Text]= Thoughts-one-has-but-doesn't-want-to-acknowledge-it
Wei Wuxian had expected to die on the Siege at Burial Mounds. Heck, he wanted it! So why in Lan An's name was he waking up to find himself in a staring contest with a definitely younger version of the Jiang siblings?
[Oh my god, Shijie is alive and not deadde addeadeA —]
Wei Ying was so done with his life.
Regardless, Wei Wuxian was not happy waking up in the past. He was even less than happy finding out that it wasn't actually a dream as he first thought it was.
The Jiangs were not amused by the subsequent (silent) tantrum.
Wei Ying couldn't help it, okay! He just wanted to die in peace. Was that really that hard to understand?! And why could he feel Burial Mounds calling to him?!
...And things got worse when a younger (but oh so innocent) version of Wei Ying walked in the room nonchalantly. [He would forever deny the fact that he felt pity course through his veins when the naive soul walked in. After all, it wouldn't be long before everyone left him alone, and Wei Ying hated being alone. But it's better to get used to it now than suffer later.]
Needless to say, it was a confusing day for everyone.
"Have you calmed down now?" Madam Yu says distastefully, but even the dislike was welcomed by the Yiling Patriarch.
After all, something was better than nothing.
And Wei Wuxian had nothing in his life. [Except A-Yuan, but even he was taken from him, just like the Wen Remnants. Everyone was gonegoNeGonE—]
The Jiangs, on the other hand, were freaking out even as they tried their best to maintain a composed outlook.
Because in front of them was an older (but severely injured and just where was his golden core?!) version of their Wei Ying.
And time travel was not possible, Wei Ying, so stop revolutionizing the world!
More importantly, this Wei Wuxian was not the same as their Wei Wuxian and it was freaking them out, because this child was cloaked in loneliness and goddammit Wei Ying, just tell us what happened to your golden core!
Later, all of them realize that somehow Wei Wuxian, had somehow travelled 5 years in the past (and the Jiangs refused to believe that he didn't have a hand in it) and that for whatever strange reason, nothing happened when the two Wei Yings were facing each other.
[And here they thought that changing the past would bring disastrous consequences, but here was a future Wei Wuxian tainting their timeline with his presence with not a care in the world. Madam Yu was grudgingly impressed.]
But it also didn't get rid of the wrongwrongwrong at seeing a dull-eyed Wei Wuxian.
Wei Wuxian is supposed to be warm and filled with laughter. He's not supposed to look utterly defeated as though he had fought against the entire world on his own. He was not supposed to sit still and flinch away from contact.
He was Wei Wuxian, the disaster child. The child who couldn't sit still. The child who couldn't stop laughing. The child who couldn't stop pranking.
Wei Wuxian was not supposed to be calmly sitting there, looking as though the sun would devour him if he stepped out!
"So we have no idea how I got here?"
Wei Wuxian could think about dying later. He hardly doubted that anyone here would prefer to have their floor tainted with his blood.
He could.. die later. When no-one was watching. Or when he was in his own world again.
"We don't."
Wei Wuxian sighs.
Madam Yu didn't know what happened in the future, but whatever it was, it was not good.
When interrogated, the child had very calmly (hah! As if Wei Ying knew the definition of calm) told them that he had somehow managed to become a demonic cultivator (how was that possible?!) and that he was no way in any shape or form, insane (why had that been the first thing out of his mouth and not an explanation of what happened to his core? Madam Yu had her suspicions).
For once, she met Jiang Fengmian's eyes with not animosity but worry for the child. [If anybody asked, Yu Ziyunan was not concerned. She was not.]
Wei Wuxian also refused to say anything about the future.
"Uhm..."
When their Wei Ying raised his hand looking as though he was an obedient child, Jiang Cheng was immediately wary. Wei Wuxian was never obedient, not with that spark in his eyes. [He tried to get rid of the lifeless eyes of his older version of his brother. He failed.]
"Since my future self is obviously stuck here..." Wei Ying trailed off, looking excited as the minute passed. Recognition flitted through the older!Wuxian's eyes. "Why don't we keep him!"
Why that sounded more like a statement rather than a question was beyond Jiang Cheng. He had long since stopped questioning his brother's sanity.
Something flashed in the eyes of the older!Wuxian, something so quick that Jiang Cheng had difficulty discerning.
"A-Xian," Jiang Yanli said amusedly, smile faltering for a moment when she saw the time traveler tense, not meeting her eyes. "You can't treat your future self like a dog."
Wei Ying's eyes widened in fright, "No! Not a dog! You know I hate dogs!"
Funny how the time traveller tensed for a moment, eyes darted around before settling, his clenched fists loosening slightly.
Jiang Yanli chuckled behind her sleeves, "I know A-Xian."
"So so? How about it, Uncle Jiang! Madam Yu!" Wei Ying jumped in glee, which was so much in contrast with his silent future self.
The change was jarring.
"Do you think we're an orphanage?!" Madam Yu says coldly, strangely her eyes never left the still figure of the time traveler... who seemed to be zoning them out. "And you! Pay attention!"
Wei Wuxian did not jump. He did not make any jerky movements, only opening his eyes quietly as per Yu Ziyuan's order.
She was disgusted [worried].
"My Lady, calm down," Fengmian finally says placatingly before turning to his adopted-in-everything-but-name child. "Why do you want to keep him, A-Xian?"
"I always wanted a brother!"
"Hey!"
"An older brother!"
The smile never left his face, not even in the face of Jiang Cheng's indignation.
"Even if we accepted him, what excuse would we give to the world?" Madam Yu retorted sharply. However, they all knew now that she had practically accepted the time traveler's presence.
"That he's my older brother!" Wei Ying, the ridiculous disaster child, says brightly.
"You don't have an older brother! You're an only child!"
"Well now I do!"
"Wei Wuxian!"
Jiang Fengmian smiled as he saw Yu Ziyuan's shoulders relax slightly at the pointless banter. Now, if only the time traveler joined in instead of scrutinizing them.
"We could always say that my parents tried to hide my older brother's existence because they were afraid!"
Finally, Wei Ying calmed down. He was even more hyperactive than an energized bunny was and Jiang Cheng would know. He grew up with Wei Ying.
His mother sighed in exhaustion, the silent but older Wei Wuxian shifting slightly to give her room to sit. He didn't even flinch at the glare he received.
"Even if we say that, how would we justify his reason for coming now?" The Violet Spider spoke harshly.
His brother blinked at that before scrunching his face in thought. On the other hand, the time traveller internally sighed. He knew the look on his younger self's face. It was that of stubbornness.
It seems he can't even die peacefully.
"...Separated from Wei Ying when our parents died. Tried searching for him. Injured heavily by bandits. Some townsfolk found me. Wei Ying was gone by the time I returned. Tried searching for him, couldn't find him. Found him happy in Jiangs care. Left him. Rogue Demonic Cultivator. Wanted to see him again, so found him again. Wei Ying doesn't have any memories of his time with his 'brother'."
At least he would be able to find move about at his own pace. Maybe he might even find a good place to die without anyone finding him.
He was tired of being watched.
Everyone blinked when a soft but hesitant (and Jiang Cheng hated listening to that voice. Hated it because that did not sound like his strong and confident brother) voice of the older!Wuxian, who was staring at them thoughtfully.
"Well," Jiang Yanli thought for a moment. "It could work, right father? Mother?"
"It could," Fengmian nodded thoughtfully. "I'll let the news spread then."
But just when did Wei Wuxian speak in short sentences?
"So what name should we call you?" Wei Ying asks, his fingers drumming impatiently against his foot. He was tired of sitting in the same spot.
Just how did his future self manage to do that? And he looked so calm too!
The Yiling Patriarch shrugged indifferently, "I don't care. Whatever you want."
That had everyone staring at the time traveller in confusion, though they kept the questions to themselves.
Good because Wei Wuxian had no energy to even answer. He was just tired. Oh so tired.
He just wanted to rest.
Rest that seemed to be running away from him constantly.
"But you might have something in your mind?" Jiang Yanli [And the Yiling Patriarch still couldn't believe that she was alive. That she wasn't dead, surrounded by—] says hesitantly.
Wei Wuxian could care less about names. He could care less about anything.
He just wanted to die.
"Names are just names," he explains shortly, fiddling with his flute. Thank god, he had ChenQing with him. He wouldn't know what to do without it. The flute had somehow quickly became the only thing grounding him to reality. "It doesn't matter to me what I'm called. It has no meaning."
When there was an extended silence, he looked up confused, quirking an eyebrow. Why were they looking at him like that?
"...Your flute," his naive self said. "What's it name?"
How he wished to tell his younger self to leave the sect. How he wished to tell his younger self that maybe dying would be better.
After all, look at what he did. Look at what his attempt did to repay the Jiangs for their kindness. He couldn't even protect those closest to him.
So what was the point of staying in this world?
"Chenqing," he mutters distractedly.
He brought nothing but disaster. Brought nothing but pain. He only destroyed things. So why was he still living in this world? Just what was the point?
Nobody believed in him. Not even Lan Zhan.
"Did you name it?"
"...Mm."
Maybe living was his punishment. Maybe living this desolate life was the price he had to pay for existing. Would any of his sins be forgiven if he continued living this painful life?
Would anyone even care?
[Are you watching Lan Zhan? I'm taking my punishment properly now. Are you happy now?]
"You wouldn't name your flute 'chenqing' if you thought that there was no meaning to names."
Ah... that's right. Chenqing. The ghost flute. The flute he had named when he left Burial Mounds.
'To express emotions,' that's what he'd named it. But look at all the expressing it did. Brought the whole cultivation world against him.
But.. Chenqing was his. And it was his fault. Not Chenqing's. Never Chenqing's.
Chenqing was.. Chenqing was—
"—MingYu."
That's right. Chenqing was like a bright jade in his life. The only thing that had been left in his life.
A-Yuan had played with Chenqing. He had played some songs to the Wen Remnants as well, after they had gotten over their fear of him.
Chenqing was like a jade.
It was his only jade left.
"Wei MingYu, it is then."
[Lan Zhan... tell me... are you happy now? You would never have to deal with me again...]
Author's Note: It's my first time posting for MDZS, so nice to meet you all!
Yes, Wei Wuxian is pining here for his Lan Zhan. BUT! He is highly traumatized to the point that he doesn't recognizes it. He needs to heal (if he ever will).
The poor child thinks Lan Zhan hates him, which is not true, but oh well. Can't blame him. I do feel bad that Lan Zhan kept pushing him away when he wanted to be friends, so now that he is the one pushing him away, Lan Zhan is running towards him. Of course the child would be confused.
Talk to me on Tumblr @finoalcielo since that's where I'm more active.