Chapter 6
The day that Jeonghan got out of the hospital was one of the best days in his life. He was so happy to get out of there. He hated being in the hospital, he never liked them. He couldn't tell you why though, ever since he was a child he's always had an inversion to them. Hospitals gave him the creeps, and they spiked his anxiety levels up into the stratosphere. Though everyone finds it ironic that he ended going out with a med-student. He loves Joshua very much, he loves him as much as he loves Seungcheol, but even though he works at the hospital he still avoids it like the plague. He can't help it. Whenever the two of them had talked him into going to see a therapist that worked at the hospital that Joshua was friends with they had come to the conclusion that hospitals were one of his triggers. So he did the best that he could to stay far away from him as possible. And he also always made sure to pack lunch for Joshua to make up for it.
He felt light as air as Joshua walked him out of the hospital with all of their stuff, which wasn't a lot since they had left in a hurry. Seungcheol had already left to go and find the car and to bring it back to the front entrance. Jeonghan felt lucky that not only did he get to go home today, Joshua also got today and the next two days off to spend with him and Seungcheol. He was as giddy as a schoolgirl and he wouldn't have it any other way. "I love you." Jeonghan said in the elevator on the way down as he flung himself at Joshua. He caught him with a grunt, and had to use the wall to stabilize them so they wouldn't fall and drop all of their stuff. "I love you too Hannie," Joshua told him. "But don't jump on people, you just got discharged today and we don't want you to over exert yourself and end up right back in that bed, I'm not afraid to do it." Jeonghan just rolled his eyes. He knew that he wasn't supposed to overdo it, and that Joshua was just worried about him, but he didn't get it. He's free! He can finally go home to a place where he felt completely and utterly safe and be surrounded by 12 people that he completely trusted with his life. Just being in the elevator going down was doing wonders for his anxiety, and he hated elevators with a passion too, so that said something.
When they finally made it down to the car where Seungcheol was waiting for them, Jeonghan couldn't be more joyful. He would have ran and jumped into his other lover's arms if it hadn't been for the fact that Joshua had figured out what he was up to and stop him. He rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out at him like a child, and just went and hugged Seungcheol instead. Seungcheol laughed at his two lovers' antics like it was a normal occurrence, which it was, and went to go start loading things into the trunk of the car. While he did that, Joshua was tasked with getting Jeonghan into the car. Which took longer than necessary since Jeonghan was insistent that he didn't need any help, and that he wasn't a child. "Well, if you're not a child you better stop acting like one and get your ass in the car." Is what Joshua told him as an rebuttal. Jeonghan looked shocked for a moment, but then his shocked expression turned into his usual evil smirk, and Joshua knew he was screwed from then on. Jeonghan willingly got into the front seat like Joshua wanted him too, and didn't say anything the whole way home. When they pulled up to the front of their apartment building and Joshua was getting Jeonghan out of the car so that Seungcheol could go and park the car. As Joshua was closing the door to the front seat he heard Seungcheol yell "Good luck Babe, you're screwed!" Joshua rolled his eyes and gave him the finger as he went to help Jeonghan into the apartment. It was good to be home Jeonghan thought as they walked through the front door.
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Life in the apartment went back to normal pretty fast not that long after Jeonghan walked back in through that front door. When he had first come back from the hospital the rest of the members had decided to throw him a surprise welcome home party, and they didn't tell Seungcheol or Joshua either to make sure that it stayed that way. And they waited until the very last minute to tell Seokmin since he couldn't keep a secret and he was the easiest for Jeonghan to crack open like a nut. The rest of the members had gone all out for it too. Seungkwan had roped Hansol, and Jun into helping decorate the whole apartment with streamers. He had convinced Minghao to make a 'Welcome Home' banner, since he was a very good artist. Mingyu had roped Wonwoo and Chan into helping him cook. And Hoshi was in charge of getting Jihoon out of his studio, while keeping Seokmin from spilling the beans about the whole thing.
Things were easier said than done, the day that Jeonghan was scheduled to come home the whole place was in a constant state of chaos. Everyone had gotten up at the crack of dawn and had been going crazy ever since. And it gave Jihoon a large headache and he was about ready to start cracking skulls in. Though he was stopped from doing that when everyone's phone started going off signaling that the Hyungs had gotten home from the hospital. Everyone went and hid in various parts of the apartment. The lights were turned off and they just all stayed quiet as they waited for Joshua and Jeonghan to come up. When they heard the door knob turning everyone was bouncing with energy and were trying to keep quiet. "Why are the lights off?" They heard Joshua say as he helped Jeonghan into the building. "I don't know, did the power go out, check the lights." Jeonghan said. And as soon as Joshua flicked the lights on, the rest of the members present jumped up from their hiding spots and yelled "SURPRISE!" at the top of their lungs. And they all laughed when they saw both Jeonghan, Joshua, and Seungcheol who had come running when he heard noise from the end of the hall flinch at the loud noise. "Are you all trying to kill me? I just got out of the hospital, I don't want to go back!" Jeonghan yelled at them in a teasing tone. Everyone in the room started bursting out laughing, It was so good to have their Hyung back.
Jeonghan was very touched that they all had gone through the trouble to throw together this party for him. He almost ended up crying three times, but he blamed it on his allergies and the fact that it was also the start of his next cycle. When he woke up that morning in a stain puddle of blood, he wasn't too happy, but the fact that he was getting discharged later that day heavily outweighs that. And Joshua had even told him that it was a good thing, since he was worried that all of the stress from getting sick could have messed him greatly. And since he was acting normal they just now had to worry about Minghao since all of it could have affected him too since after living together for so long they were now synced up. And if Minghao is messed up now, then it'll mess him and Seungkwan up as well. But he threw all of that out of his head to enjoy what he was experiencing now. Though he did make a note to go and check on Minghao and Seungkwan later though to make sure that they were all ok. All of the love that he was currently dealing with at the moment was a little bit overwhelming. He loves his boyfriends, and he loved his mother, his sister and the rest of his members who he considers all to be part of his family. But he has trouble showing his affection to them. He was told that this was just part of his anxiety, and the side effects of all of the trauma he endured as a child. So for the most part he just left all of the really mushy romantic stuff up to Joshua and Seungcheol and just went along for the ride with them. And he wouldn't have had it any other way.
He was sitting on the couch in between Jun and Hansol listening to them discuss something about a videogame that they were playing with each other at the moment in their down time. He had started to tune them out, with all of the other noise that was going on in their living room when he had caught movement out of the corner of his eye. He turned his head slightly to the left and saw Minghao silently disappear down the hallway. Jeonghan had been worried about the younger Chinese man, but he had never gotten the chance to go and check on him in private. But since everyone was distracted with all of the fun that they were having ( And they weren't even drunk!) He deemed it the perfect opportunity to go and seek his dongsaeng out. He purposely stretched out his arms to pop his back and let out a huge (fake) yawn. "Hey, guys I'm really tired, I think that I'm just going to go lay down for a bit, is that ok?" He asked the rest of the group. They all nodded in agreement and told him that if he wasn't feeling 100% yet then he should go and rest some more. Joshua and Seungcheol offered to come with him. He shook them off and said that he would be fine as he got up, ruffling Chan's hair as he passed him by. Regardless of rather Jeonghan was sick or he had always been prone to taking naps and sleeping a lot in their downtime. So no one would think anything differently about it if he went to go take a "nap".
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Jeonghan creeped slowly down the hallway and was trying to keep as quiet as possible. Though he also knew that no matter how hard he tried to be quiet there was a good chance that Minghao had already known that he was coming since he's that good. He walked straight to the room that he shared with Chan, Soonyoung, and Jun. The four of them got along fairly well and it took forever for them to get annoyed with each other. He came upon the bedroom door, he was debating on knocking, but he knew that if he did that then Minghao had the opportunity to pretend to not be there and hide from him. So he just opened the door and went in. If Minghao got made at him so be it, Jeonghan was worried and he wanted to check on him.
Opening the door, Jeonghan peeked his head in and saw Minghao sitting on the side of his bed facing away from the wall. The four of them had thought that it would be a smart idea to get bunk beds to save some room. Minghao and Jun had one bunk with Jun on the top and Minghao on the bottom. And Soonyoung and Chan had the other bunk with Chan on the top and Soonyoung on the bottom. The original plan had been to put the older ones on the bottom and the younger ones on the top. But a week after they tried that, Minghao had his cycle (He was very prone to getting nauseous and vomiting a lot more than Jeonghan did to get himself put in the hospital), and they ended up changing the arrangement to make it easier to handle. If anything were to go wrong he had a better chance of either getting to the bathroom or to Jeonghan in time. Since his back was to him, Jeonghan couldn't tell if he was in any pain or not, but he still stood there and watched him for a minute.
Jeonghan stood outside the door for a few more minutes, he was starting to think that everything was fine when he heard Minghao groan. Not long after he heard the groan he saw his little brother move to lay curled up in a ball on his bed. That was when Jeonghan couldn't take it anymore. He walked into the room, and slowly went to approach the bed. "HaoHao, are you ok?" Jeonghan asked him as he sat down on the other side of the bed. Minghao turned over on his other side to see his Hyung. "Hyung, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be having a good time and resting!" Minghao chided as he tried to sit up. But Jeonghan had seen all of the color drain from his face at the movement. Jeonghan pushed him back down onto the bed. "You just lay here ok, HaoHao." Jeonghan told him. "Let me guess, your cycle started today too right?" Minghao nodded as he threw an arm over his eyes. He let out a groan and clutched at his stomach. Jeonghan sighed knowing that this wasn't going to be easy.
Being a male carrier isn't such an anomaly anymore, but at the same time it's still a very hard life sometimes. They could still live lives like normal men, but with similar cycles to women. Normally the symptoms are supposed to be less subdued than regular women, but in cases like Minghao, and Jeonghan, and Seungkwan. All three of their individual cycles are way more intense than they are supposed to be. And when you put the three of them together in a room, hesh! But regardless the symptoms of their cycles can be so hard to deal with sometimes. For example, both Jeonghan and Minghao got so nauseated during their respective cycles that they could hardly eat anything most of the time. Though there were some times where Jeonghan ended up eating twice his body weight in strawberries and salt and somehow managed not to gag(He's still not sure how he managed to do that). Minghao on the other hand, if you so much as even thought of food he'd spew his guts out for hours at a time. It was a little bit concerning at first, but once Joshua was able to get him on some medicine it lessened somewhat. Then there was Seungkwan, who when he was on his, he'd eat everything in sight and then eat some more. Though afterwards he always complained about how fat he got after and how much he hated his body.. It took awhile to convince him that it wasn't his fault, it was just his body's response to the added amount of hormones his body experiences once a month. All three of them suffered greatly from cramps, aches, and bloating. There were sometimes that Minghao even had to set out on missions, and Chan had to take his place because he was so nauseous and bloated that he couldn't move without puking. That was the extremes of their cycles though, But Jeonghan also got terrible migraines during his. He would spend days at a time in bed since his head was pounding so hard he thought it would leave his head. Another thing that all three of them had in common were the terrible mood swings. On more than one occasion, Jeonghan could tell you that he made Seungcheol and Joshua's life a living Hell. And Minghao on more than one occasion had bitten Mingyu's head off to the numb. And poor, poor Vernon. He always seemed to be the one on the other side of Suengkwan's drastic mood swings. His life wasn't Hell, and he normally didn't get his head bitten off, but he never knew if it was safe to talk to him or not. One minute Seungkwan was fine, the next he was a crying, sobbing mess in his arms. It was like a yoyo and Hansol didn't know what to do and it was freaking him out!
Minghao was still curled up in a ball on his bed, but this time he was also in Jeonghan's lap. He could tell that he was still extremely nauseous, and uncomfortable. The two of them just sort of sat there for a few minutes in silence. Jeonghan wanted to give Minghao the time to process what he wanted to say, and how he wanted to say it, and he really didn't want to be puked on. And Minghao was trying really hard not to throw up on his Hyung, and was also trying to figure out a way to avoid talking about all of this. He just curled up in on himself more, hoping that if he made himself small enough then he wouldn't have to deal with anything and he would just disappear. Well, that didn't work. He was still here in his room with Jeonghan, and he was no closer to feel less like he was going to vomit on somebody. He gave up with a huff and sat up in his Hyung's lap. Jeonghan allowed him the room to move around and once he was in an upright position he pulled the thief into his arms.
"I'm not going to out right ask you if you're ok because I know you, and I know that it will just make you clam up more, but you do know that if you have any problems, you can always come to me right?" Jeonghan whispered into his ear. Minghao nodded his head softly and buried his face in his Hyungs chest. He wrapped his arms tightly around his stomach. Jeonghan just shook his head at him. He loved the kid to death and would do anything for him, but he could be a stubborn little ass when he wanted to be. And right now was one of those times. Minghao groaned softly and Jeonghan started rubbing soothing circles into his back hoping that he could offer some comfort. "It's alright Hao, just breathe, if you breathe properly you can ride it out and it'll pass." Jeonghan told him. "Or if it's too much we can go and have Shua give you some medicine for it all right?" Jeonghan asked him. Minghao just nodded his head and tried to attach himself more to his Hyung. Jeonghan just tightened his grip on him and started rocking him back and forth in hopes of being able to ride out the pain if he can distract him enough.
The two of them just sat there huddled on the bed together for a while. Jeonghan wasn't really keeping count anymore. They were just sitting in silence when Minghoa finally moved to sit up and away from him."What's wrong HaoHao?" Jeonghan asked him. Minghao just shook his head. "Are you going to be sick?" He got a shake of the head as an answer. "Are you still feeling sick?" He got a shoulder shrug this time. "At least it was something different this time/" Jeonghan muttered. He watched as Minghao picked up his legs to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, hugging them to his chest. He was curled up in a little ball, and Jeonghan thought that he looked adorable. "What's the matter then?" Jeonghan asked him. "You know that you can tell Hyung anything right?" Jeonghan ended up mirroring his position to show that he wasn't going anywhere, anytime soon. Minghao huffed and avoided making eye contact with him. Jeonghan knew that something was wrong, and he also knew that whatever it was that Minghao was too stubborn to share it with him. He was running out of options here, but he still had a couple of more tricks up his sleeve for occasions like these.
Jeonghan huffed, and sighed over dramatically. The show that he was making had gotten the attention of Minghao. "What Hyung?" Minghao asked slightly annoyed. "Oh nothing, I'm just thinking about Gyu's reaction when I go and tell him that you're holding yourself up in here, or maybe Junnie? The two of you have always been very close." Jeonghan said. "NO!" Minghao shouted as he reached out and grabbed on to him. 'Bingo.' Jeonghan thought. He knew that if he mentioned either Jun or Mingyu it would get his attention and make him spill his guts. A sure fire way to get Minghao to spill his guts was to mention one of three people Jun, Mingyu and himself. There's just something about the three of them that can make his walls crumble down. And Mingyu really had that effect on him. "Ok, why don't you want me to go and get them?" Jeonghan said. "Since you're not telling me anything, I need the back up." Minghao was quiet for a moment before he started speaking again. He mumbled out something that Jeonghan couldn't quite catch. "What was that I couldn't hear you?" Jeonghan told him. Minghao glared at him for a while but did raise his voice a little so that he could understand him. "I said I didn't want you to get them because Jun-Hyung already knows, and I don't want to tell Mingyu."
Jeonghan was taken aback a little at this confession. Even though Minghao and Mingyu fight like cats and dogs and can blow up at each other over nothing. (The sexual tension between the two of them is so thick that it is literally suffocating.) But they are still best friends and they tell each other everything. Even though Minghao is very close to Jun too, he's more likely to tell Mingyu anything first before him. "What's so bad that you can't even tell Mingyu?" "It's about you." Minghao told him. Jeonghan was shocked at that. "What about me?" It was then that he remembered that at the hospital when Seungcheol had told him that Minghao was the one who found him. "Does this have anything to do with what happened the night that I went to the hospital?" Minghao nodded his head. "I... I was so scared.." Minghao said. "I've never seen someone so sick before, and then you started shouting and freaking out." Jeonghan sighed at this. He was told that he was so overwhelmed with being sick that he had a panic attack. But they didn't tell him that he had it in front of Minghao. "I haven't seen something that bad since the...'Agency'." He could see the tears pooling in his eyes, and Jeonghan gave both of them about 2 minutes before they started crying. "I really thought that you were going to die Hyung." And that was when the dam broke. Minghao was sobbing so hard that he couldn't really breathe right.
"It's ok Hao." Jeonghan soothed. "I'm right here, and nothing bad is going to happen to me or to anyone if I can stop it." Minghao nodded his head. "I know that but I still can't help but be scared, both Mingyu and Jun-Ge have come to talk to me about it, but I haven't been telling them the whole truth." After telling Jeonghan the story of Ge, and what happened to him, Minghao was a shaking, sobbing mess. "What didn't you tell them?" Jeonghan asked. "I didn't tell them that after Ge,.... part of the reason that I escaped was because of him, and the other part was something else." Minghao said. He redirected his gaze to his lap where his hands were. "What did they do to you Hao?" Jeonghan asked him softly. He had reached out and held both of the Chinese man's small hands in his. "The night that I left, I woke up when I felt another presence in the room. I didn't really think anything of it at first until I felt another weight on my bed." Minghao took a breath before continuing on with his story. "I woke up and one of the guards was on top of me..." Jeonghan had noticed when he had pulled his hands away from him to scratch at his arms. "I didn't know what was going on until he tried to take my clothes off of me." Minghao said. "I freaked out and pushed him away from me, I grabbed the knife that I kept under my pillow and stabbed him when he came after me and I ran and never looked back." Minghao was full on sobbing now and Jeonghan was right there with him. He wanted to tell him that he wasn't alone, and that the same thing had happened to Jeonghan himself too.
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"Ok," Seungcheol said as everyone gathered in the living room for a meeting about their next client. "Today we are gathered to discuss our next mission. Woozi-ah if you would please?" Jihoon nodded and got his computer up and running once he hooked it up to the tv. After a few minutes an image of a man that they had never seen before popped up on the screen. He was very well kept and sharply dressed, he looked to be in his 60s. At first glance he seemed harmless, but if you got a good look at his eyes you could see the evil in them. "This is Kang Lee-Soon." Jihoon said. "And he is the CEO of Seoul Pharmaceutical, the largest drug company in the country." The others nodded at the screen and Seungcheol motioned for them to continue. "About a week ago his granddaughter Sumi Kwang had reached out to us for help." As he was saying that her picture also popped up on the screen. She was a very beautiful young woman, she seemed to be about Dk, Mingyu, and The8's age. She also seemed to be a little thing, and she looked like a princess. It made something in Jeonghan's chest contract painfully.
He snapped out of his head when he heard Seungcheol went back to explaining what they were doing. " The reason that she has asked for our help was that She had come across some documents by accident, her grandfather had sent her to get some invoice to give to the accounting department but what she found instead was so much worse." Seungcheol said. "The papers that she found were part of the plan that her grandfather has to pass off an old drug for another new one." "What haven't you told us yet?" Joshua asked him. "It's not that uncommon for some companies to take a drug off of the market, and then put it out again a few years later under a different name, or make the same sort of medicine and name it differently so that it is label a generic brand." Joshua told them. "Normally, you right babe, but this time it's a little different, the drug that he is putting back on the market is called Mytenbelm, or something along those lines." Seungcheol told them. "It was a medication that was used to treat people with liver failure, but instead of helping people it was linked to many of their trial paitents's deaths." "And to make matters worse," Soonyoung butted in. "He's going to market it as a new anxiety medication."
Everyone in the group just sort of looked at each other for a moment. It was an unspoken conversation amongst the group. And it was no secret why. A few years ago when the group was just starting out, and at the same time the 95 liners were just beginning their relationship with each other. At the time everyone was still figuring out where they fit in the team and with each other. While they were still learning their team dynamics, things were complicated. One of the incidents that really marks this time in their history together started with Jeonghan. At this time Jeonghan was really struggling with his anxiety condition. He had fought his battle with anxiety for years before he joined the group. But things came to a head when he started going out with Seungcheol and Joshua. He was under so much stress, with going on missions, and his complicated love life along with keeping everyone in their little family that was growing by the minute it seemed, made things really hard for him. Though somehow he was able to keep everyone thinking that everything was ok. A few months after that though, Jeongahn had reached his breaking point. He had gotten into an argument with Joshua and Seungcheol and had broken down crying in the middle of it in front of everyone. When he was able to compose himself he ran into the bathroom and slammed the door and locked it. That day they're not really sure what happened. But it seemed like Jeonghan had tried to commit suicide.
By the time the Seungcheol and Mingyu were able to break the door down, they found Jeonghan crying on the floor, with his arms cut open and bleeding. Joshua barged in not long after and saw the state of his lover. He was able to bandage the cuts, but he made Jeonghan go to the hospital just to be on the safe side. When they got there, it was deemed that he would be ok physically, thanks to Joshua's quick thinking. But he was kept in the Psych ward for a week to be examined and diagnosed.
And that was when Irene came into the picture. She examined him, and he was diagnosed with anxiety and panic disorder due to past traumas from his childhood. Due to confidentiality laws, she couldn't reveal what the traumas were, she had told Joshua that Jeonghan would have to open up to them at his own pace in his own time. Joshua understood, and thanked her profusely, and asked if she would be his doctor for the duration of his whole treatment. Joshua had explained to her that out of everywhere on the floor that worked the Psych Ward, Irene was the only one who he liked and could connect with. She felt very honored and agreed immediately to treat him. He saw her regularly for over a year, and just recently she deemed him well enough to come to her whenever he felt that he needed her. But she told him not to be a stranger and to come and visit her.
"So what's the plan then?" Jeonghan asked. The uncomfortable silence that everyone had gone into was starting to drive him mad. He didn't want to feel helpless and like he was made out of glass so that they had to treat him a special way to make sure that he didn't shatter. He already felt crappy enough as it was, he didn't need this on top of. He was starting to get a little bit pissed off when he didn't get an answer right away. "Well, what's the plan?" He asked again. "You do have a plan to take this bastard down don't you Cheol?" That seemed to snap their leader out of his stupor. "Oh, um, yeah, well, the main gist of this is that we,.. Um.. Woozi?" Seungcheol asked flustered. The look of pure determination, and something else was throwing him for a loop. He could see Joshua wrapping an arm around him to try and calm him down a bit. "Well, before they can release the drug fully onto the market they have to jump through so many hoops before hand." Jihoon said. "They have to have representatives from the government, and inspect things before it can be released to the public." He pressed a few keys on his computer and another screen popped up. "Another hoop that they have to go through is a press release party for the drug." "Everyone will be there." Seungcheol said. "Drug reps, Board members, investors, the whole deal." "Well, I guess that means that we have some work to do then don't we." Jeonghan said as he stood up and moved to see more of the plan. Seungcheol stood in front of him and put a hand on his chest to stop him.
Jeonghan stood there for a moment looking bewildered at him. "Cheol?" He questioned him. "I'm sorry Han, but I can't let you go on this one." Seungcheol told him. "And why is that?" Jeonghan asked him. And by the tone of his voice Seungcheol knew that he was very pissed off at him. "Because you've only been out of the hospital for barely a week, you're still feeling the effects of the toll that your virus took on you." Seungcheol told him. He went to brush back a strand of hair from his face and behind his ear. Jeonghan grabbed his hand and pushed it away. Looking around the room Seungcheol saw the shocked expressions of the rest of the team members. Jeonghan never, ever pushes Joshua or Seungcheol away when they try to touch him. "I'm the grifter, who do you expect to go in and scope out the mark?" He asked him. "You forget that you're not the only one here that's good at lying, and you've taught some of these kids more about the tricks and cheats of this craft than you realize Hannie." Seungcheol told him. And that just made Jeonghan madder. "You just don't want me to go because of my anxiety do you?"
The whole room was silent. The rest of the members were just standing around the living room watching the two of them. Seungcheol and Jeonghan used to fight a lot when they first started out, but over the course of the team and their own relationship with each other and Joshua they pretty much stopped. Though when they do have their spats they can get pretty volatile. "That's not it at all, Hannie this is just too close for you ok?" Seungcheol told him. "I'm scared that this will do you more harm than good in the end." Jeonghan rolled his eyes at him. "So you don't think that I can handle it?" Jeonghan said. "No, that's not what Cheol is saying at all Hannie." Joshua said as he stepped in to try and calm his two lovers down. "Really, you're taking his side?" Jeonghan accused him. "NO, Han, I'm not taking either side, I just want the two of you to know that we just want what's best for you." Joshua told him as he stepped between them. "And Hannie, this time what's best is for you to stay home, you know what happened last time you went on a job that hit too close to home." And that royal pissed him off. "So I punch one dirtbag asshole of a casino owner, who was ripping apart innocent family's lives, and you never let me live it down!" Jeonghan shouted at him. And that got the attention of everyone in the room. Jeonghan never raises his voice, ever, at anyone. "You know what, if you want to do this without me, then I'll just go to my room, and act like the damsel in distress was that you all think that I am." And he then stormed off and the last thing that everyone heard was the loud bang as he slammed the door shut.
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Jeonghan was pissed beyond belief! Who does Seungcheol think that he is, just going around and telling him what he can and can not do. Just the thought of it made his skin boil. And yes, he knew that it wasn't the smartest idea that he ever had to go off and punch the casino owner from a couple of years ago. But the man was ruining lives, not just the lives of the people that gambled there but their families too. Jeonghan should know, his family was probably one of the guy's victims. Normally he's not a violent person, but he just snapped that one time. And it was one of the hardest jobs that he ever had to do. He had to pretend to be some rich executive who had the hots for the mark. The guy was an utter creep, and he made Jeonghan's skin crawl and his stomach roll every time he touched him. It pissed Jeonghan off so much, he saw red and punched him. He ended up breaking his nose in the process, but they still got the jerk arrested in the end so he didn't see the harm. Seungcheol didn't see it that way.
And to make matters worse, Jeonghan knew that if he went on that job that he would probably do the same thing, if not something worse to the mark this time too. He can remember Irene telling how whenever he gets put underneath great amounts of stress, he was prone to acting out. She said that it had something to do with all of the stuff that he had gone through as a child. He had witnessed on more than one occasion when things got bad, people acted out in a violent way.
At this point he was kicking himself for the way that he had acted. He felt guilty that he blew up on Seungcheol and Joshua. He loves the two of them more than anything in the world. He would do anything for them, and he wants to spend the rest of his life with those two if they'll have him. But that doesn't stop the two of them from getting on his nerves from time to time. Out of everyone in the group, the two of them know him the best, they know every single tell, tick, and habit that he has. And he knows all of their respective ones also. It's a perk of being in such a loving and healthy relationship. Seungcheol and Joshua were the best things that ever happened to him. If it wasn't for them and the rest of the members he would probably be dead by now. During his sessions with Irene Jeonghan had come to the conclusion that he most likely would have killed himself if he had stayed with his own family, or he had never met Seungcheol. The damage that his step-father had done to him left more than just a couple of everlasting scars, both mental, emotional, and physical. What they say is true, you never forget your trauma, but as time goes on it can get easier and easier to live your life. And that is what Seungcheol, and Joshua, and the rest of SEVENTEEN have done for him. They made it easier, to get up in the morning, and function, they made it easier to breathe, and to live his life and be happy. And for that he is forever grateful.
Curled up in a ball sitting on the bench that was attached to their bedroom window that opened to their fire escape, Jeongahn was thinking. He was thinking about life, and all of the meaning of that crap. All that he really wanted to do was just go back out there and take Seungcheol and Joshua back in here so that they could make up. He was so lost in thought that he jumped when he heard his phone went off. He turned and picked up his phone where he left it sitting next to his feet. His heart started beating faster when he saw who the messages were from. It was the group chat that he had Seungcheol, and Joshua had. He read the message, and hesitated for a minute before he decided to answer.
Cheol: Hey, Hannie, I know that you're probably still mad, so I don't expect you to read this just yet. But I want you to know that I'm sorry, about earlier I know that I hit a sore spot. But I want you to know I just didn't want to put you in a situation that you could have ended up hurt in. And if you're going to be mad for awhile, be mad at me and Shua, huh. He didn't do anything but try to stop us from going at it in front of the kids.
Shua: Seungcheol, don't tell him that. I am just as much at fault for our current spat as the rest of you are. But seriously Hannie, I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to make it look like I was picking sides. I like Cheol, just don't want you to end up hurt after this, and you know what I mean when I say this. Just take all of the time that you need ok? We don't expect you to get over this over night, and Cheol and I are figuring out who we're going to room with tonight so you can have the room all to yourself. I love you Yoon Jeonghan <3.
Hannie: Don't be stupid you two. You're not sleeping anywhere but here in this big bed with me. I'm sorry too. I know that I acted like a complete ass earlier and I apologize. I just felt like you guys were ganging up on me, and were treating me like I couldn't do this job. And I know that you're right, if I go on this I will probably go off and punch the gut or worse. So I'll just stay behind and run opps with Jihoonie or something. I don't want to push you guys away anymore than I have been doing recently. I love you two so much, words can't even begin to describe it.
Cheol: Are you sure Hannie? It's no problem at all for us to stay somewhere else. Channie already said that I could room with him. And Seungkwan kind of just grabbed Shua by the arm and pulled him into his room. If you need more time to cool off, that's alright we just don't want to push you. I love you Jeonghan, take all of the time that you need baby alright?
Hannie: I mean it Seungcheol. I want the two of you to sleep with me tonight. I'm lonely, and not mad anymore, I promise. I've had my time to cool down and think. And the only thing that I can think of now is how much I need the two of you right now.
Shua: Are you a 100% sure Han, like Cheol said, it's no problem. But if you want us to come back we can. We just don't want to push you Hannie. We love you and we just don't want to push you away from us unintentionally.
Hannie: You're not, and I want you guys to come back. I need you guys tonight. Please.
Shua: Cheol and I are on the way, be there in 2 seconds, Love you.
Jeonghan smiled to himself at that last message and moved to go open the door.
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Hearing a knock at the door, Jeonghan jumped up from the bed and raced to let his boyfriends in. His heart skipped a beat when he saw the two of them at the door. Seungcheol was wearing a ratty old shirt and a pair of shorts that were tight for him, that he must have borrowed from Soonyoung. And Joshua was still wearing his scrubs still, but he's pretty sure that the sweatshirt that he was wearing was Seokmin's. In other words they looked beautiful. And he wasn't the only one thinking those kinds of thoughts. Both Seungcheol and Joshua were admiring how the clothes that Jeonghan had changed into were hanging off of his small frame. His sweatpants were Joshua's and the shirt was Seugncheol's. In other words he looked beautiful and sexy. And all three of them were hoping for something more than just talking that night.
"Come in." Jeonghan said in a hushed whisper. He moved out of the way of the door to let the two other men in. Joshua and Seungcheol walked in single file into the room. Jeonghan closed the door behind them and locked it. The three of them were just standing there looking at each other before Seungcheol broke the awkward silence by clearing his throat. "So, um, I guess we're going to go to bed now right?" "Um, well, I was hoping that we could just talk, you know just the three of us, we haven't done that in a while." Jeonghan suggested. Joshua trying to ease the tension in the room motioned for everyone to go and sit on the bed. Jeonghan ended up sitting in between Seungcheol and Joshua. The three of them didn't say anything for a little bit. Jeonghan was sitting there with his head down, and nervously playing with his hands. Joshua noticed this and reached out to still them. Him and Jeonghan made eye contact and smiled softly at each other. Both of them turned their attention to where Seungchehol was sitting. He was sitting there awkwardly and was trying to make it look like he wasn't staring at them.
All of a sudden the three of them just started bursting out laughing. They just laughed and laughed at nothing like they were three school girls at a slumber party. When the laughter had finally calmed down after a few minutes, all three of them just flopped back onto the bed. And they all were holding hands with each other, and were smiling. It reminded Jeonghan of when they first got together and they did stupid stuff like this all the time. The memory of those times made his whole body feel warm and tingly in time. He knew that he had this big stupid grin on his face, and that he probably looked crazy, but he didn't really care, he was in love and he was happy.
Jeonghan decided that he wanted to do something with his lovers. He turned his head and kissed Seungcheol passionately on the mouth. When the two of them broke apart they were gasping for breath. Seungcheol had this weird look on his face, and he had this stupid smile on his face. Then Jeonghan turned the other way and did the exact same thing to Joshua. During the middle of this Seungcheol had moved so that he was wrapped around Jeonghan from behind, while he was making out with Joshua. When those two finally broke apart, all three had this knowing look on their faces. "Somebody's excited." Joshua said. Jeonghan just smirked before he leaned in and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "What if I am, what are the two of you going to do about it?" Jeonghan teased them. Seungcheol peeked his over Jeonghan's shoulder and he and Joshua gave each other a knowing look. "What do you say Shua, should we teach the tease a lesson?" He questioned him. Jeonghan looked down and made eye contact with Joshua. Joshua just gave him an evil smile in return. Jeonghan finally caught on to what was happening, and leaned back against the bed in between his two boyfriends. "Well, if you're going to do something get on with it, I don't have all night." Jeongahn said with a smile on his face. Needless to say, they had fun that night.
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It was the middle of the night and Chan couldn't sleep. He laid there in the top bunk of the set of bunk beds that he shared with Soonyoung. He didn't know if it was the fact that they were doing another job that hit kind of close to home with everyone, or watching his brother and his lovers fight earlier. Or it could be the fact that Soonyoung was snoring so loud it was impossible for anyone to sleep. It wouldn't surprise him if the whole building could hear the noise. All that Chan knew was that it was driving him crazy, and he needed to get out of there before he tried to smother him in his sleep. So as quietly as he could, be crept down the stairs of the ladder. He had to stop a few times on his way down when he heard one of his Hyungs stir or move in their sleep. He knew that if one of them woke up and caught him, he would be busted. They would ask him what was wrong and wouldn't leave him alone until they got what was wrong out of them. So as soon as his feet hit the ground he booked it out of there and into the kitchen as fast as he could.
And the thing is Chan doesn't know what's wrong. He just has this feeling that something's wrong, or more likely that there is something wrong that is going to happen to them. He can never really explain these feelings that he has. Most of the time they just turn out to be nothing, but there are a few instances when they turn out to be true. One of the first ones that he could ever remember having one was when he was 4. That was the day that their mother had told him and Seungcheol that they were going out for ice cream. He had a bad feeling that something wasn't right, but he was so little that he didn't really know how to articulate it to his older brother. Though Seungcheol was able to figure out that something was wrong and told him that everything would be alright. When they got there, their mother had left them in a booth and told them that she had forgotten her wallet in the car and that she would be right back to get them. She's been gone for about 15 years, and he never did get that ice cream.
When the employees there realized what had happened they had approached Seungcheol after they called the police and asked if there was anyone they could call. His brother gave them the number of their grandmother. She came and got them, and they ended up living with her for about 5 years until she passed away from a heart attack. One night she was reading him a bedtime story and tucking him into bed with a goodnight kiss, and the next him and Seungcheol were standing over her grave. After that Child Services couldn't find another relative that was able or even willing to take the two of them. They ended up being placed in a foster care home for the time being until things were settled. They ended up staying there until Seungcheol was 15 and chan was 12. The reason that they left was that Seungcheol had come home, and he had caught one of the older kids having pinned Chan down on the floor. Seungcheol was livid, he pulled the guy off his little brother and smashed his head into the wall. The adults in charge were livid, and the "father" of the house had given his brother a black eye. That night Seungcheol had woken him up with all of their stuff packed, and ready to go. They left that night and never looked back.
"Channie, what are you doing up?" Chan jumped at the sound of his older brother's voice. He turned to look at him as he walked into the kitchen. Seungcheol wasn't wearing anything but a pair of loose sweatpants that hung around his waist. He was shirtless, which wasn't uncommon for him, but what caught his attention was all of the hickeys that littered his brother's neck and various parts of his chest. "I take it you and Jeonghan-Hyung, and Shua-Hyung have made up then." He teased him. His brother just blushed, and shoved his shoulder. "Brat." Seungcheol said. "I didn't think that anyone would be up at this time of the night." He told him. "Now, that brings me to my first question, why are you up?" And he had that patitened 'Dad Look' that he uses for when he's being serious. "Nothing Hyung, I just couldn't sleep, why are you up?" He fired back at him. "I was thirsty from previous activities and wanted some water." He said with a smirk. "TMI!"
The two of them stayed up a little bit longer talking with each other. They talked about everything and anything, and nothing at all. It was nice, talking just the two of them. With 11 other people living in the same space as the two of them having brotherly bonding time can be scarce if not at all. The two of them used to do stuff like this with each other all the time when they were little. For the longest time in all of their lives were all that each other had. They didn't have the same Dad, but both of them had skipped out not long after they were born. Then their mom up and vanished. The straw that really broke the camel's back was when their beloved grandmother died. She was the sweetest woman in the world, and she bent over backwards for the two of them. When she died their whole world fell apart. Over time though they were able to fix the damage that all of them had caused. Forming their little gang with the rest of the members gave them a new family. It was one that they both felt loved in and they knew that they could always count on them for anything.
"What's on your mind Chan?" Seungcheol asked him. At some point during their conversation they had made hot chocolate to pass the time by. "It's nothing, just something stupid." Chan said to try and dismiss it. But Seungcheol wasn't going to fall for it. "I don't buy it, and you're lucky that I don't go and wake up Jeonghan and have him deal with you." He told him. And Chan knew that it wasn't just some empty threat. He would go and get Jeonghan, then Jeonghan wouldn't leave him alone until he gave in. Jeonghan had sort of adopted Chan when he first met him when he was 13. He's his "baby" as he calls him affectionately. If there was anything wrong or there was something that he was struggling with Jeonghan had figured it out and was on top of it to fix whatever it was before Seungcheol could even ask him what was wrong. He loves his Hyung, all 12 of them, but he didn't want to worry them. "I just have this bad feeling." Chan finally admitted. "I don't know how to describe it, but I feel like something's wrong or something is going to be wrong."
"How long have you been having this feeling?" Seungcheol asked him. "I guess a couple of weeks," Chan said. "It started not that long before Jeonghan went into the hospital." Seungcheol didn't say anything for a good 5 minutes. "Do you think that your feeling is real?" Seungcheol was the only one who had known about these "feelings" and he had learned to take them seriously everytime he had one even if they ended up not happening. "I don't know, it feels like the one that I had when mom left, and Nana died." Chan confessed. "Then we'll keep an eye out for anything shady ok?" Seungcheol told him. He placed a hand on his little brother's shoulder. "Don't worry about it ok, I'll take care of it Chan." Seungcheol told him with a smile on his face. Chan was able to return his smile, and went and hugged his brother. "I know you will Hyung, I have faith in you." Chan told him. "I know that I don't tell you this enough, but I love you Hyung." Seungcheol kissed him on the head and ruffled his hair. Chan went and threw his arms around him in a hug. "I love you too, you little punk, I couldn't have asked for a better younger brother than you." Seungcheol told him. He looked over the top of his head and caught a glance at the clock on the stove. It read 3:45 AM. "Man, it's almost 4 in the morning." Seungcheol said he was very shocked. "I guess that it's time for us to head back to bed." He turned to look at his little brother who was still clinging onto him. "Think that you can sleep, or do you want to come and sleep with us?" Seungcheol asked him. While that did sound like a nice offer, with the fact that Jeonghan and Joshua would cuddle him all night, he really didn't want to do that since they just had sex in that bed. "Thanks, but no thanks Hyung, I really don't want to sleep in that bed after you've just had sex in it." Chan told him. "Yah! You little brat, see if I'm ever nice to you again." Chan just laughed as they walked out of the kitchen into the hallway. The two brothers walked in silence as they headed down the hall to their respective rooms. They paused outside of his room. "Well, here's your stop. Goodnight Channie." Seungcheol told his brother as he hugged him. "Love you too Hyung, night." Chan said as he walked into his room. The talk with Seungcheol really helped ease his nerves a lot. But as he laid in bed and looked around the room, he still couldn't help but feel that there was something bad brewing. And whatever it was, it was going to be something that he didn't know if they could handle it.