Art: Tropical Storm by Stephanie Cost
I tried to not scream as I watched Toph and Suki struggle to board an eel hound, both with clenched teeth as they held on desperately to the saddle. It was too similar.
It had been decided that Toph, Suki, and Sokka would go to the airship base. My father, Chit Sang, Haru, and I would tag along with Katara and Zuko to the Fire Nation capital – Teo, and The Duke would be staying behind in the White Lotus camp to help with supplies and transfer messages.
I was still deep in my thoughts, considering how long I should let my goodbye to Sokka linger. He wouldn't argue with me. I had already trained him to always say goodbye to me like it was the last time, the way warriors did. However, just because he wouldn't argue himself didn't mean he wouldn't attempt to get others to argue on his behalf. I could only imagine Suki's reaction to my acceptance of my fate.
"Kida," even deep in my thoughts, I could recognize who had called me in an instant. I turned to the man I had desperately prayed hadn't died. I could only imagine what he'd say to me now if he knew what I was thinking.
"Yes, Iroh?" I forced my best smile onto my face but doubted that it was believable.
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" he questioned quietly enough that no one else could hear.
My brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"
"I know which prison you're going to," he spoke before I had even finished my own words.
I straightened instantly. "I-I know." I wasn't trying to keep it a secret. There was only one prison in the Fire Nation capital after all, but why did it feel like he meant something more?
He shook his head. "We both know there's more than one," he said as if he could read my thoughts.
"How do you-?"
"Kida..." He placed a heavy hand on my shoulder. He urged my eyes to meet his. "Horrible things happened to you there, I can only imagine. Are you sure you can go back?"
My jaw tensed, and I could feel my eyes burn as wet anger formed at their brim. "No," I admitted, shaking my head back and forth.
"You don't have to," he pressed.
"No," I said again, finally meeting his eyes. "I do. I need to go back. If I'm going to be better, I need to go back." My eyes traveled through the crowd until they land on Zuko, who was speaking to my siblings. "I need to face it. I don't want to hate myself anymore."
He swallowed hard. He knew I was right too. However, he also knew how fragile I was.
A heavy sigh left his mouth, and he nodded slowly. I thought he was going to release my shoulders, but instead, he yanked me forward. His hold was far stronger than it once was, muscle replacing his softness. However, it was the same warm embrace I once knew. I wanted to break down, feeling his arms around me.
I loved my father. I loved my mother. I loved my grandmother. They had all done what they thought was best to raise me. However, there was no denying that Iroh was the first person in my life who ever truly felt like a guardian.
I had no idea if this was the last time I would see him. Perhaps I would see him again, and I would be a monster after. I didn't know. I couldn't see that far. No super spiritual ability was letting me get a glimpse. All I could feel was dread. I'd finally reached the end of the tunnel, and the bright light on the other side seemed far too bright for me to handle.
"You should know," he mumbled into my ear as he held me tight, "only when yin is the strongest can you have yang. I'm not sure what the spirits told you, but you are not evil."
I became stiff under his grip.
"You are not good or bad," Iroh went on, feeling the tension in my shoulders. "To have a spirit within you, you must be both. You are capable of both. You do not harm people, Kida. You protect them."
"...You are vengeful, not hateful," Banes words echoed in my head.
I swallowed hard, pulling back slowly to look up at the man. His gaze was urging, but his mouth remained in a firm line.
"Kida, it's time to go," my father called.
Iroh finally released me and took a step away. Without a word spoken between us, I heard him wish me good luck, and I nodded in return.
I turned away to snatch up my quiver and bow. My actions hesitated when as I spotted my extra waterskin poking out of the bag they rested on. Maybe...
"Ready?" Hakoda asked once I was in the saddle with him and the others.
"Ready," I agreed.
With one final goodbye to everyone, we were all off to save the world.
***
The journey to the Fire Nation capital was agonizing. We hardly spoke. The air was too thick for words.
The whole time, my eyes were trained on the sky, watching as the blue heavens and white, fluffy clouds that spotted them gradually turned pink, and then, inevitably, orange as the fiery sphere of Sozin's comet came into sight like a second, lesser sun.
Seeing it there, that slow little orb in the sky, it seemed like something that should be able to be stopped. I wanted to be able to stop it, or at least do something. I couldn't, though. All I could do was sit... and wait. Wait for the unavoidable storm that may or may not turn everything we flew over into charred rubble.
"What are you doing?" Chit Sang questioned when he caught my actions. I had taken out about half of my arrows and was snapping off the arrowheads. "Aren't we going to need those?"
"I'm going to make ice spear-heads for them," I answered, not looking up as I continued to pluck the metal points from their shafts.
"Wait," Katara turned to look back at me from where she sat beside Zuko, "does that mean you're going to be waterbending?"
I still didn't look away from what I was doing. I only nodded. "Yes."
"Kida?" Zuko spoke wearily.
"Today isn't the day to be scared of my abilities," I urged, finally looking up to meet his gaze. "It's okay."
"Are you sure?" Katara questioned.
I looked down once more. My jaw ticked, and my eyes blinked rapidly. "I don't have a choice. I can't be afraid."
It seemed like it had been days before Appa had finally landed on the outskirts of the caldera city, only just out of sight of the Prison Tower. Chit Sang, Hakoda, Haru, and I dismounted the bison promptly.
I was just about to turn back to wish my sister and Zuko good luck when I saw that the prince had slipped down from his place at the helm.
My brow knitted as he stepped up to me. "What are you doing?" I questioned, glancing back at my sister, who looked just as confused.
"I just..." he trailed off.
It only took a second for me to study his features before I understood.
I pulled on my best reassuring smile and reached up to place my hand against his cheek. His eyes fell closed instantly upon my touch. "I know," I assured him.
Zuko nodded silently, eyes lingering closed a moment longer. When he opened them once more, he gripped his hand over mine. He pulled my fingers from his face only to press a kiss into my palm.
"I'll see you when this is all over," he said.
I swallowed, and in the corner of my eye, I could see my sister twitching. I nodded simply, offering a smile, but it wasn't enough.
"Hey," he urged, his hand tightening around mine. "Don't look like that. We have unfinished business, remember? I only said I couldn't do this right now. We'll try again tomorrow. Okay?"
"Tomorrow?" How was he so confident there would be a tomorrow?
His jaw tightened, and his eyes narrowed at me as if I was some child being ridiculous about my misguided thoughts.
No one could picture me in a world without the war. No one had seen it before, no one except Zuko. I couldn't see the other side of light, but he could. He was the light.
I sighed and nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow."
I started to pull away, but he didn't let go. I met his eyes again. Our conversation was silent from an outward view, but we each knew what the other was saying. Come back to me.
"Go," I ordered once he finally released my hand. He nodded and made his way back to the bison.
I pointed up at them, the soft feeling in my stomach quickly shifting to that of a hardened, protective sister. "And keep her safe!"
"You guys stay safe, too," Katara urged.
"We will," Hakoda assured her as I felt his hand clasp my shoulder.
"And, Kida," my brow creased as I heard the hesitation in my little sister's voice, "no blood, right?"
My chest ached at hearing these words from my younger sibling's lips. I might have been the one demanding we not kill the Fire Lord, but she knew – better than I wished her to – that those rules changed when the life was in my own hands.
I nodded stiffly, "No blood."
Her eyes were glassy, and a faint smile curved her lips. She gave a final nod before chanting, "Yip, yip," and they were off.
We watched them fly off until they were a small dot in the clouds. The minute we looked away, everything about the atmosphere shifted.
It was time.
"So what's the plan?" inquired Chit Sang.
I walked through the group of men, my hands balled into fists and my chest beginning to heat as I locked my gaze on the tower in the distance. "My brother is the plan guy," I grunted. "I sort of just bust in and hope for the best."
"Wait, we don't have a plan?" Haru hissed as he and the others started to follow me.
"I know the prison," my father spoke, jogging up until he was only a step behind me, "we have time to stop and think of a plan."
I shrugged his restraining hand off my shoulder the second I felt it. "I know this prison, too," I assured, "better than you can imagine..."
***
They tried to pressure me into stopping several times, but I dismissed each offer and continued on. Most of their words were just buzzing in the background anyway. My mind was too busy going over and over the blueprint of the prison I had mentally stored away.
Things began to start looking familiar, and I slowed my steps, placing one hand over the lid of my waterskin in preparation.
The buzz started up again, but I didn't bother to try to understand what they were saying. "Quiet," I demanded.
"What?" Chit Sang grumbled. "We're way too far from the prison for them to hear us."
"We're closer than you think," I snarled in a hush. My eyes began to scan our terrain.
I had stopped to examine each rock and dirt pit in front of us. Finally, I spotted it: a stony mound placed a little too precisely to be natural.
"There!" I pointed at the patch of small boulders. The boys all traded uncertain looks. I gave it no regard as I moved forward.
It wasn't until we got nearly right on top of it that the rusting, metal bars came into sight, and the men began to quicken their step.
"What is this?" inquired Haru under his breath.
"It's the entrance to the afterlife," I answered. Their silent questions rolled coldly across my spine. I didn't answer. This wasn't the time for an interrogation.
As one would expect, the door was locked. With the combined use of Haru's and my abilities, we were able to crack it open. Haru winced at the sound of the rock colliding with the frozen lock. His eyes followed its echo down the tunnel. "Someone had to have heard that."
I pulled an arrow from my quiver as I nodded, "Definitely." I continued on nevertheless.
We remained silent as we walked. The only sound came from our own footsteps or the occasional gasp of breath as someone realized they forgot to breathe.
It wasn't until we had gotten to the end of the tunnel when we started to get our first signs company. When they heard steps coming our way, the others froze as if hoping our attackers would decide to turn around if they didn't hear anything. I knew the men who worked down here better than that.
The second I saw the first sign of movement, an ice-headed arrow was strung on my bow and ready to fire.
They froze at first sight of us, but the silence didn't last long.
"Intru-" the guard didn't get to finish the word. I released my arrow. It soared through the air, slicing his partner's arm before detaching from its shaft and latching onto his mouth like a mask.
Haru acted next, pulling rock from the wall to knock the injured man out before he could yelp in pain. The other guard withered on the ground, trying to detach the ice from his mouth as he let out muted screams. The chief hurried forward to knock this one out, allowing me to unfreeze his lips. I returned the water back into its container before picking up the reusable arrow shaft.
Not wanting to wait for more guards to appear, we continued down the rock-walled hall.
We didn't come across any more guards for some time. This wasn't unusual. Very few people were certified to even know about this place. As long as we stayed quiet and close to the walls, no one would know we were here until it was too late.
It wasn't until we came to the main cell block that we came across any trouble.
"Someone's coming," Hakoda spoke in an urgent whisper.
"We can hide in one of these rooms," Haru suggested, gesturing to one of the sparsely spaced metal doors embedded in the rock.
"They're cells," I said as I strung another arrow onto my bow. "Trust me. You don't want to go into one."
A rattle of chains slid through the tiny slot in the door closet to us. I refused to look towards the sound. If I looked towards the sound, then I'd see that window, and I'd be back there again. I'd be back in that room that felt so big and so empty that Death could have gotten lost inside.
That's how it felt. As if Death was always wandering around the room, just as blind as I was in the almost complete dark, the only source of light being that tiny little slot.
Occasionally it would find me. Death's slimy claws would yank at my ankles and pull my body down until I was gagging on my own lungs. I always managed to kick it away, but its presents never disappeared. Death was always there. If not there to torment me; it was there to use me.
Bang... Bang... Bang...
My head snapped towards the door, and my heart leaped into my throat. I had two sets of ghosts to haunt me, but this one had blue eyes, my eyes. Her gaze found me through the slot. She stared into my soul, and I remembered Death had a name. Her name was the same as mine.
"Kida." A hand on my shoulder startled me. The blue eyes evaporated.
I looked up at my father. "Did you hear-"
He frowned, "What?"
I rapidly shook my head, turning my attention back to the sound of approaching feet. Although it felt like I had spent centuries staring into those cold eyes, only about half a second had passed.
My father hadn't pulled me out a moment too soon. Two guards rounded the corner, a pair of which I happened to know too well.
Shock covered their visages at their first realization of seeing us. It wasn't until one narrowed their eyes to focus on my face that there was some recognition. "Look who it is, Sho," he mused to his friend. "It's the Fire Lord's favorite."
A grin slowly spread across Sho's face. "You're right, Juro," he bemused. "Did you miss us, Kida?"
"These two are mine," I snarled.
I released my arrow, but Sho lunged forward just as I did, unleashing a devastating blast in our direction – practically vaporizing the shot. I barely pulled open my waterskin in time to create a small shield against the explosion, covering myself and the others.
Smoke filled the narrow, unvented chamber, but I used the momentary blindness to lace three new arrows and launch a barrage on my enemies. I heard grunts of pain, and smoke slowly began to fade enough to see the results of my aim. Sho had been winged in the side. Juro held pressure to a gash across his cheek.
"Still feisty, I see," Juro smirked, his gravelly voice putting me on edge.
I didn't give him the satisfaction of my response. Instead, I charged forward, not bothering to put an arrow on the string. He let off a less expansive blast than his partner, aiming exclusively for me. I leaped into the air, making a clearance level that hardly let my hair go unsinged.
I landed about a foot in front of Juro. He had only enough time to comprehend I had made it past the shot before I belted my bow across his face. He fell to the ground in a flurry.
"You're just lucky I'm not killing," I seethed, watching as he scuttled to his knees.
"Like you could," he scoffed, smirking once again. "You could barely bring yourself to bloodbend murders when we asked."
My tense muscles quivered as my pulse sped and my heart pounded against its cage. I could barely get enough air into my lungs with how tightly my teeth ground themselves against each other.
My actions were not my own. I had strung a real arrow and aimed it at Juro's eye. I would have released it if someone hadn't pulled my guiding arm away from the target. "Kida," my father's voice entered my thoughts.
It wasn't enough to snap me out of it this time.
"Kida, you promised Katara." My heart slowed.
My little sister's voice echoed through my mind. "No blood, right?"
"No blood," I repeated, taking the arrow from the man's eye.
A mocking chuckle fell out of Juro's bloodied lips. "I knew it."
"That doesn't mean I can't cause a concussion," I snarled. Without further warning, I brought my knee up against the side of his head, using all of the rage boiling within my body.
"I think I'm starting to figure it out," my father muttered as we continued on our way. "This is where you were held...after the invasion."
My jaw tensed, but I forced out an answer, "Yes."
"You were being tortured right under my feet," he swallowed hard, and I noticed his fists clench in the corner of my eye.
"You couldn't have done anything."
He shook his head, and I saw his own teeth grinding. "I could have figured out something-"
"Dad," I stopped walking, putting a hand out in front of his chest to stop him as well. His square jaw twitched, and he barely met my gaze through his furrowed brow. "You couldn't have saved me. You would have been executed before they ever let you get down here. Don't think about it."
"You do have a plan, don't you," Haru's words didn't sound like a question but rather an accusation.
I looked past my father's shoulder at the teenager who watched warily. "Yes."
I turned away from my father and continued to walk. "I started taking mental notes once Azula accidentally revealed that the others from the invasion were in the same prison as me," I explained in a hushed voice. "I planned on busting you all out the second I had the chance.
"They never took me upstairs, though," I admitted. "Even when I finally got to leave, they took me out of the secret entrance. I don't think everyone in the prison knows about the second prison below. That means I'm blind after this floor."
"I know what to do after that," Hakoda assured. "We're going to free everyone today," his eyes met mine, "you've got your chance."
"Yeah..." My eyes slid towards one of the metal doors we passed. I had an itching feeling I knew who was in some of the cells down here, and it wasn't just my ghost.
Getting through the rest of the prison was more difficult. There were more patrols in the halls that we could occasionally hide from, but it wasn't rare to engage in a silent attack before they could warn anyone else.
Haru was useful due to most of the prison being embedded in stone. My dad's stealth skill was something I hadn't had much chance of seeing up close, but it was definitely something to behold. Chit Sang was helpful muscle as well, and his firebending blocked us from burns more than once.
Things were going fairly well for the most part. However, every once in a while, something would happen that felt too familiar. My memories would flash back and forth to images from my dream. It was like I was being haunted by myself – a blood-drenched, monstrous form of myself which lurked behind every corner. Sometimes it was hard to imagine it had just been a dream.
Nonetheless, I tried to ignore it the best I could and focused only on the task at hand. It wasn't an easy one, after all. The way the tower was set up was quite frustrating since each of the cells had to be opened one at a time, and it wasn't until we got right up to the cell room that we could actually see who was inside the cage. In some areas, each cell had its own personal guard, while others were manned by only one or two guards per block, depending on the prisoners.
It seemed to be by some stroke of luck that we managed to find everyone we knew. In a flurry to hide from a rather large congregation of guards, we had rushed into one of the cell rooms. By chance, it happened to be a cell holding someone I knew.
"Ty Lee?"
The girl perked up instantly upon hearing her name. "Hm?" She came up to the bars to get a better look before a wide grin split her face. "Aoshi!" she exclaimed.
"Kida," I corrected.
"Oh right."
"Kida?" questioned her roommate. The girl looked strangely familiar, but I couldn't place a name.
"It's me, Hikari," the girl urged.
"Hikari?" I repeated.
She huffed out with slight impatience. "I look different without the makeup on."
My eyes lit up instantly. "Hikari!" I exclaimed. "You're a Kyoshi Warrior."
She nodded rapidly.
"Those are the girls with Suki?" my father questioned.
"You've seen Suki?" Hikari exclaimed, gripping onto the bars. "Is she here?"
I shook my head, hurrying over to begin to freeze the lock. "She isn't here, but she'll be happy to see you."
"Haru-" I stopped mid-sentence as I focused back on Hikari's cellmate. "Actually..."
Ty Lee spotted my hesitation. Her eyes went wide. "You can trust me, Aoi- Kida," she insisted. "I'm so sorry for everything I've done. It's why I'm here. Azula doesn't handle betrayal well."
"I don't know..."
"She's okay," Hikari assured, her green irises were earnest as they looked towards the girl who customarily sported pink. "I trust her."
"Well, I don't," Chit Sang grumbled, glaring at the small girl.
"If you can't trust her, then don't bother letting me out either," Hikari sighed, "but please get the other girls out."
I shook my head. "I might not have been a Kyoshi Warrior for long, but we don't leave each other behind." I looked at the earthbender with us. "Haru, break it."
He hesitated, glancing between Chit Sang and me. Eventually, he settled to listen to me and did as I asked.
"Oh, thank you, Aoshi!" Ty Lee sprang out of the cell from behind Hikari, wrapping her arms tightly around me.
"Uh, Kida," I corrected once again, my voice muffled by her breasts, which smothered my face. "It's Kida."
"Oh, right," she released and gave a sheepish smile, "Sorry, Kida."
I could only nod, still catching my breath.
"Let's go get the others," Hakoda urged.
As quickly and as quietly as possible, we proceeded to get the rest of the prisoners. Things rapidly became more manageable after we gained the help of the Kyoshi Warriors.
Eventually, we stopped bothering to hide the people we knocked out or tied up. There was no point. Even with the comet, the dwindling number of guards had a very slim chance against all of us.
Hakoda had a faint idea where they were keeping the people from the invasion but only the non-benders. We decided to split up to find everyone quicker. Haru and I went with about half of the Kyoshi Warriors while my father and Chit Sang went with the others, including Ty Lee. With some help from easily coaxed guards, it wasn't long until we began to find them all.
The only person happier than me about finding everyone was Haru. We eventually came across several all-metal rooms, and this was where he got to be reunited with his father. "Dad!" Haru had exclaimed before leaping into his father's arms. "I told you we'd be back for you."
Tyro chuckled, holding his son tightly in his arms. "Ha, we were just about to break ourselves out too," the man joked.
The others had been successful and were returning to find us when I heard, "Kida?" I wasn't sure whether to smile or hide upon hearing this voice. So, I simply didn't move.
Hands gripped my shoulders, and before I knew it, I was being whirled around to come face to face with my childhood best friend. "Kida!" Bane exclaimed again with a joyful ring.
He wrapped his arms tightly around my shoulders, pinning my arms down as he nearly crushed my chest. "I thought..." he stuttered in my ear, and I could hear his voice crackling from restrained tears, "I thought... I thought you were dead."
Slowly, I began to relax under his grip. I had gone too deep into my instincts. I had forgotten that half of these people were expecting something out of me – an explanation or an emotion, at least. After all, the last time they had seen me, I was surrounded by Fire Nation soldiers after going on a rampage.
"I'm okay," I cooed to the young man, reaching up to wrap an arm around his tight grasp. "I'm okay."
"Come on," my father's voice barked, "we can greet each other later. First, we have to get out of here."
"What about, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but what about the firebenders?" Bane questioned. "They were captured too."
Hakoda's eyes fell to me. I stiffened into a straight board. Bane could feel the shift in me and finally released to look me in the eye.
"They're dead," I spoke matter-of-factly.
A cold hush ran over the throng of people.
"Kida," Bane began, and I knew he meant to comfort me, but now wasn't the time.
"Did you not hear what your chief said," I snapped at the group. "It's time to get out of here."
Hakoda's worried eyes finally pulled off of me to play along. "Move out!"
"Yes, Chief," echoed each of the Water Tribe warriors.
Hakoda hesitated at the doorway. I felt his eyes scan over my face, which wouldn't look at him or Bane. Finally, my father nodded in return and turned away.
Our small, four-man band had rapidly become a fearsome army. None of the guards – benders and non-benders alike – stood a chance against all of us. We had three out of four elements on our side, along with warriors who could make a weapon out of nearly anything.
Before long, we were walking out the front door without a single obstacle in our way.
It felt as if a cool breeze had filled my chest as I led my people to their freedom – people of the Water Tribe, Earth Kingdom, and even a few Fire Nation people.
At that moment, I knew that this had been my path all along. My whole life, this was all I ever wanted to do.
"What is that?" questioned Tyro, tearing me away from my moment of bliss.
I took my eyes off of the many smiling faces to follow Tyro's gaze.
Near the center of the city, large plumes of orange and blue flames burst through the sky, fighting for who could reach the heavens faster.
"That is sibling rivalry," I answered as another cloud puffed into the air. "I should-"
The first sound of crackling ice hit my ears.
I didn't get to finish my sentence. A sudden wave of bone-chilling cold flushed down through my entire body, draining me from head to toe and leaving a metallic taste on my tongue.
It wasn't like before. This cold latched onto my chest instead of my thoughts and shriveled the organ which pumped my icy blood; it pressed down against my lungs and pushed my last breath out of my open hanging mouth, leaving nothing behind.
While my heart felt cold and dead, it still beat. It beat so loud in my ears that I wanted to scream to cover the sound, but nothing would come out.
Butterflies filled my stomach so entirely that they ran out of room and began to fill up my newly emptied ribcage. My hand instantly went to my chest, the feeling so disturbing that I was nearly ready to rip open my chest to force them out and quiet my heart. However, I couldn't get enough air to my muscles to do such a thing.
My whole world began to tremble. My legs became gelatin and my knees prickled as if dozens of needles had suddenly embedded themselves in my skin, trying to force me down.
I stumbled back, only barely catching myself before I felt arms basket around me from behind. "Kida?" I didn't have time to determine whose voice it was.
"Something's wrong," I managed to splutter out. The edges of my vision were darkening, and it was difficult for me to comprehend what I was seeing. I knew, however, that the battling plumes had stopped. Then...
"AHHH!"
Lightning ripped through the sky, and a scream tore from my lungs. It left my throat so raw that it felt like something had been torn from within.
Starting from the tips of my right middle and index finger, a burning, tingling sensation ensued. It vibrated through my arm, into my stomach – narrowly missing my chest – and back up and out the other arm. My muscles became taut, and my jaw clamped shut without my consent.
I barely knew it had stopped. My body continued to quiver in the arms of whoever kept me upright.
My ears rang, and I heard the familiar low hum of voices, but it took a while before I could comprehend what they were saying.
"The lightning strike was over there," a gruff voice exclaimed, "how could it have hit her?"
I began to get the feeling back in my limbs and started to attempt to stand straight again.
"Whoa, whoa," a voice I hadn't known at the time to be Bane's implored in my ear. I felt the arms around me trying to restrain my movements, but I pushed against them.
"Kida!" he bellowed, arms tightening. "What just happened? Kida, slow down!"
I needed to go. I needed to get to them. I had to, and he was stopping me...
Another deafening crackle echoed in the space around me. The ice was getting thinner.
"GET OFF!" a voice I didn't recognize as my own roared. It wasn't my muscular strength that got him to obey.
Without any awareness of what I was doing, I pulled a hand free from his hold. As I did, he began to release me against his own will. The back of my palm brushed against his chest, and, as if he were as light as a feather, he blew back from my touch.
I didn't hesitate a second to understand what I had done. I simply took my freedom and ran.