Author's Note: Trigger warning, this Episode will going to show some violent actions. Please, be guided as you choose to continue.
×××
Beverly
"We need to stop Calvin!" I started to panic.
Ako ang sobrang nahihintakutan para kay Rafael. Alam ko, hindi maganda ang mangyayari sa kanya ngayon. Sa estado ng pag-iisip ni Calvin, I know that Rafael really needs to get away from him. As soon as possible.
"Don't," Shantal suddenly mumbled. Her perfect eye brow is lifted. "let the drug addict do his thing to that faggot."
"Pero, Shantal. Hindi ka ba natatakot? With the current mental state of Calvin, he might just kill Rafael!" Call me overthinker, I don't care. I am just really not feeling good about this. "And if that happens, Calvin will going to drag us down! Wake the effin up--"
"Well bitch, I don't care." It was now Anj's turn to roll her eyes at me. "And if you don't want to be a part of this narrative, you might just, like," she gestured her hand dramatically towards the entrance door, "get the motherfucking out of this damn building. You fucking know?"
Napahilamos na lang ako sa aking mukha. Kasabay noon ang pagsandal ko sa pader. Hindi ko na talaga napigilan si Calvin noong pumasok na silang mga boys sa comfort room. Kasama ang walang laban na si Rafael.
It's the moment where my heart started to pound against my ribs.
Feeling ko, any moment ay maiiyak na lang ako as my future being ruined after this flashes on my fragile mind. Nakakainis lang na wala man lang silang pakialam sa maaaring kahinatnan ng gagawin nila kay Rafael. And I really can't find any validated reason for them to do that!
For pete's sake, Rafael did nothing to them but to straighten their crooks! Sinumbong niya lang naman si Anj dahil totoo namang mali iyong ginawa niya! Anj is just too immature to accept that she really is the one who's at fault.
I really can't stand it!
Not with me who truely know Rafael!
He is never a faggot.
Nor a gay who only drools with some male's private thing.
He is more than that!
Most specially, there's a fine line between being a gay and a bisexual. And neither of the two is a rational reason for one to bully a person.
Rafael doesn't deserve it all.
He deserves better and we are the glitch who is trying to effin change it; mold it into something depressing. Until he became nothing but a role of a looser when in fact, he should be the winner.
With Anj and Shantal trying to stop me, I nudge them off and firmly walks towards the comfort room. I held the cold doork knob of the comfort room. Pinihit ko iyon habang ang puso ko ay patuloy sa pag-gawa ng nakakabinging tunog na ako lang ang nakakarinig.
When I open it . . .
What welcomed my eyes is . . .
Painful.
Dreadful.
A real definition of I-can't-take-it.
Rafael's back is facing the wall. Calvin, Luke and Benj seems to see him more of a punching bag rather than a person. Kahit duguan at puro pasa na ang mukha ni Rafael, wala silang pakialam. Kahit na sumuka na ng dugo si Rafael, wala silang pakialam.
Just like Dae.
Who is now just watching them with an emotion on his eyes that I will never decode.
"Dae," I almost sob. Nagbabadya na kanina pa ang aking mga luha.
When he turned his face at me, I gave him a pained look. "Manonood ka na lang ba diyan?"
Please, say no.
Please, stop them.
Please, be the Dae that I fell inlove with.
Nakita kong nagtaas baba ang kanyang adam's apple. "Bevs, what you are seeing is . . . just the way it is. That fa . . . faggot deserves it." His voice seems so soft as jelly. Conviction is never a thing on him right now. "Let them live their lives. H'wag na tayong mangialam."
Great, my expectations never fail to negatively amaze me. Again.
"Tell me, why didn't you stop them last night?" I suddenly mumbled as we roamed inside this dark building. Tanging ilaw lang ng aming cell phone ang nagbibigay liwanag dito.
"It's because just like what you think of me right now," he turned his face at me, with his dimples being flashed as he smiled at me contradictingly to his real sad emotion, "it's because I am stupid."
True.
"Pero hindi pa huli ang lahat para, you know, bumawi?" I smile at him and nudge him on his shoulder. "Cheer up."
Napabuntong hininga na lang ako noong wala akong sagot na natanggap mula sa kanya. When I focus my eyes to our way, natanaw ko bigla ang sign board ng comfort room kung saan nangyari ang lahat.
Kung saan, sinira namin si Rafael.
"There it is." I said with a tone that's screaming I am weak.
"Yeah," was all that Dae said as from the sliver of light coming from our devices, I saw his face to turn as if he is feeling nauseated brought by the nervousness.
"Now, faggot." Came by Calvin, he is pulling Rafael's front hair.
Tumigil na sila sa ginagawa nilang pag-bugbog kay Rafael. Kitang-kita ko kung papaano siya nanghina. Napaupo na lang siya sa basa at maduming sahig dahil sa mga natamong pinsala sa katawan.
"Want me to fuck you here?" Calvin is bumping his forehead against Rafael's. "That what's you want, right? To get the fucking taste of my holy dick?"
Napapikit na lang ako sa inis.
I ball my fist.
No.
Please, no.
"Well I am sorry to disappoint you but I am too disgusted by your gender to fuck you."
When I opened my eyes, I was petrified.
"But don't be sad because I have my plan B." Nanginig ang buong katawan ko noong kunin ni Calvin ang mop na nasa gilid ng lababo.
"Shit . . . don't tell me," doon ko lang napagtantong kanina pa palang nasa likod ko sina Shantal at Anj.
"Shut the motherfucking up, Anj. Just-- just watch." Natitigalgalang sabat ni Shantal. Should I be happy that I am not the only one who is petrified right now?
"Mga pare, hawakan niyo ang bading na 'yan. Patuwarin niyo sa harap ko."
Mabilis na sinunod nina Benj at Luke si Calvin. Without giving any effin too much energy, Rafael is now facing his behind towards Calvin.
When Calvin started to deattach the latter part of the mop, I know what's about to happen.
And for sure, it will burn on my mind forever.
"Eto na, faggot. I will fuck you now. This is what you want, right?" Calvin said as he pulled Rafael's shorts down his knees and then to his feet.
"You are craving for my dick, right?"
Napakurap ako noong idinikit na ni Calvin ang dulo ng mop sa ibabang bahagi ng likuran ni Rafael. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang dapat kong maramdaman noong ma-realize na simula kanina ay hindi pa rin umiimik si Rafael. Kahit kanina, tanggap lang siya nang tanggap sa mga suntok nina Calvin. Ni, pag-ungol sa sakit ay hindi niya ginawa.
Gusto mo ba talaga ito, Rafael?
My answer was answered when I heard him groan in pain. Calvin now entered the hard wood inside him. And that was the moment I let a tear escape from my eye.
Napaawang ang bibig ko noong unti-unti lumakas ang pag-sigaw ni Rafael. An obvious sign that he is really in pain right now.
"Oh, you enjoying it?" Calvin mumbled as he continued to enter the mop inside Rafael. I am afraid that he won't stop until the wood was out of his sight.
Rafael did nothing but to beg for him to stop.
But Calvin didn't.
And we are all there to witness it.
Nakita ko na lang na biglang dumugo ang pwetan ni Rafael noong nagsimulang ilabas-pasok ni Calvin ang kahoy sa kanya.
Nabingi ako sa nakakapanghinang sigaw ni Rafael.
Ang mga tuhod ko ay biglang nanghina.
Kasabay ng tuloy-tuloy na pag-bagsak ng mga luha mula sa aking mga mata.
Itinigil lang ni Calvin ang kanyang ginagawa noong tila bang napagod siya. Noong hugutin na niya ang kahoy ng mop mula kay Rafael ay halos maduwal ako nang dugo ang tanging nakita ko mula doon.
"Now is the turn for the main event." Calvin continued to smirk.
But no one dare to answer him.
At one moment, I feel that we all have the same feeling.
We all wanted to stop him from what he is about to do to Rafael.
Dahil tangina, hindi pa ba sapat iyong katarantaduhang ginawa niya kay Rafael? Hindi pa ba siya nakukuntento?
But still, no one moves.
We are all stunned as Calvin dragged Rafael towards one of the cubicles. Then we heard a sound of a person being drown. And I know, from that sound that Calvin is drowning Rafael using the water from the toilet.
And still, no one speak up.
No one.
Until we get out of the comfort room with our eyes filled with uncomfortable feeling.
With our hearts, fighting against the right and wrong.
And we left Rafael there, facing the toilet. While crying. While sobbing painfully. Alone.
"He should be here." Dae said, "or else, my effort to seeing this place again will be invalidated."
"Hope so," I mumbled with my voice being soft and petrified at the same time.
"Ready?" Dae grab ahold of the door know.
I focus my gaze at him and awarded him a nod.
We both sigh.
With the same hopes of seeing Rafael inside, Dae started to open the door.
And . . .
And even if we hoped for the view to happen, it still didn't occur to us when it actually turned into a reality.
Rafael . . .
Rafael is here.
Sitting with his back against the wall.
With no emotion on his eyes when he faced us.
Rafael is really here . . .
"Thank God," Dae almost squeal but I stop when suddenly, he fell to the ground.
"Dae?"
I look at him.
Then I widened my eyes.
"Dae!"
There, I saw Dae. With blood on his temple. It was tracing down his forehead. With his eyes still open.
Napahawak na lang ako sa aking bibig.
Hanggang sa napaupo na lang ako dahil sa labis na kilabot.