We were in the house for a long time after, long after the police had taken away Mike and his gang and long after they had questioned us and filed a report of the incident.
I had found the interview extremely tiresome. I mean, the police had been asking all of us really ridiculous and obvious questions. Like, 'who was threatening you with a gun' or 'who owns this house' and that kind of stuff.
I guess I was just incredibly lucky that no one decided to phone my dad because I was a legal adult and all and therefore could file a complaint or whatever on my own.
Before the police arrived, we had reached an unspoken agreement to just say that Mike and his gang had been trying to trespass and rob me. It was a plain and simple story, one that really wasn't that hard to believe.
But throughout my questioning, throughout my talks with the others, I couldn't get Nathan's look out of my head.
The last time we had made eye contact, his face was just cold and totally unreadable. I hadn't been able to figure out a single feeling or emotion he was having.
And it freaked the hell out of me.
I would be lying if I said I knew Nathan well enough to not be scared by something like this.
Because I didn't really know him to that extent.
And after everything I had heard and after everything was in the open, or so I thought, Nathan had just turned completely stone cold.
In fact, after he had done his small little interview with the police, he left without a word back to the house in one of the two cars the rest had arrived in.
I had pretended to be listening to something Logan was saying, but I had seen Sam put a hand on Nathan's shoulder and say something. And Nathan shrugged off Sam's hand and almost growled something back in return. I was too far away to really hear what he was saying. But it sounded angry and coarse. And it made my hands feel clammy and fidgety.
It was the evening now, and the police had left.
I had drifted away from the group, walking to an isolated room down the hall, the one where most of the previous events had taken place.
I crossed my arms and stared out the window, trying to gather all my feelings and thoughts together into one coherent statement.
"Arianna."
Alex's voice jerked me out of my thoughts and I spun around, to see her at the doorway, her face hidden by the darkness of the room.
"Yeah?" I asked, feeling a bit apprehensive.
"I'm sorry," she said, looking down. "I-I had no idea about any of this. I swear."
I looked away, down at the carpeted floor.
The funny thing was, I couldn't be mad at the guys. I just couldn't.
They had wanted to get out of the deal and they had eventually told Mike that the deal was off.
Yes, it stung a little to know that all of this was to con me and my dad into losing loads of money.
Was, I reminded myself, rubbing my hands over my cold arms. Not anymore.
The guys were different.
We were different.
And I just knew that none of the guys would agree in this moment to do the deal. Call me naïve, but it was just a good gut feeling I had. And my gut usually was right.
How did I know? I couldn't really say that. But I just had this certainty, this sureness that my relationships with the gang went deeper than just some stupid deal.
"I know," I said, offering her a smile. "It's alright."
Alex shook her head. "No, it's not," she said. "It was a fucked up thing to do."
I looked at the ground. "Well yeah," I admitted. "It was."
Alex looked surprised. "Then why aren't you more angry than this? Why are you just joking around with Logan and chatting them up like that?"
"Because I care about our friendship more than I care about letting that get in the way," I explained. "I could hold a grudge and be angry at all of them for agreeing to this deal. Because that was jerkish of them all. But we've all grown closer this week, and I know that none of them wanted to continue this deal in the end, and that's really what matters."
Alex was silent. Then she shook her head and let out a snort. "Jesus Arianna, you're such a saint," she muttered.
I scowled at her. "Why? Do you want me to be mad at them?"
Alex shrugged. I cocked an eyebrow at her, realization hitting me.
I pointed at her and smiled. "Hold on there. It's because you're mad, isn't it?"
Alex glowered at the floor. "No I'm not," she said flatly.
"Yes you are!" I insisted triumphantly. "You're mad that you weren't let in on this deal, right?"
Alex was silent.
"Well think about it this way," I said. "At least you're not in this position where I might be mad at you for trying to con me, right?"
"Yeah, but you're not even mad at any of them!" said Alex in an exasperated voice.
"Well yeah," I said with a laugh.
Nathan's face suddenly entered my mind, and I felt this sense of dread. Where had he gone? And why hadn't he stayed long enough to talk to me-to say even like a single word to me?
This had kept nagging my brain until now, where it morphed into a bit of sadness. I had a bad feeling about everything and I had a bad feeling that Nathan wasn't going to be as happy and carefree as someone else, say, Sam was.
"How was your date with Sam?" I piped up, the subject of dates and relationships on my mind.
Alex's face lit up, and she tried to hide the grin on her face unsuccessfully. "It was nice," she admitted, looking down at the ground.
I smiled back. "That's good for you guys," I said, her happiness contagious. I was glad for them both; Sam was a great guy, and Alex a good friend. And they were so fit for each other. It had just taken so long for both of them to finally accept that.
My thoughts shot back to Nathan, and my gut sank again.
Alex noticed my expression. "Where's Nathan?" she asked, as perceptive as ever.
I was surprised at her intuitiveness and shrugged, before looking away. "I don't know," I admitted, my voice small. "He left right away without saying anything."
"He didn't even try to apologize?" asked Alex incredulously.
I shook my head.
All the other guys, even Randy, had been almost hilariously apologetic. While the police were questioning everyone, each guy came up to me individually to say sorry.
But Nathan had just left.
And the fact that out of all the guys, I had wanted an explanation most from him made me almost expect him to come talk to me. But he had just left. And it created an ominous feeling in my gut.
"That asshole!" interjected Alex angrily.
I looked up at her pissed off expression. "Well, he probably had to do something," I said lamely. Why was I even trying to defend him?
"He had to do something? The hell he did!" snapped Alex. "You deserve an explanation at the very least from him. Come."
She grabbed my arm and pulled me forcefully, making me wince for like the billionth time that day.
As we walked out of the room, Alex turned to the other guys, who had raided the food in my pantry and were dividing a jumbo sized back of barbeque chips between themselves. Where had they even found that?
"We're heading back to the hangout," she called over her shoulder, swinging open the door. "So stop being pigs and let's go, bitches."
-----------------
When we reached the house, I saw the car Nathan had taken parked in the driveway. The sight of it only succeeded in worsening the feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I entered the house slowly behind Alex, whose anger had died down a bit since we had left my house.
"He's probably in his room being a lazy ass," she muttered, heading straight for the stairs. "Go find him, will you? And make sure he grovels a little before you accept his apology."
I nodded, a small smile cracking on my face.
Alex noticed my stiff look and shook her head. "Don't be scared Arianna," she said, patting my arm. "It's going to be fine."
I walked up the stairs and down the hallway, enjoying the comforting familiarity of this whole place.
I stopped short at Nathan's bedroom, finding the door closed and the light turned on inside.
Then taking a big breath, I reached up and banged the door with my fist a couple of times.
No answer.
I rolled my eyes and reached my hand up, pounding again on the door.
But midway through my second bang, the door swung open and I saw Nathan on the other end, his hair wet like he had just taken a shower.
"What?" he asked, sounding annoyed.
I bristled at the tone. "Can I come in?"
Nathan sighed and glanced at his watch. "I don't have a lot of time," he said, as I pushed past him into his room. "I have to be somewhere soon."
His room was relatively empty, with a bed, a TV and a desk. The walls were pretty bare, and the wooden floor had a few rugs spread about the place. Huh. So Nathan was a minimalist.
As I entered the room, his words reached my head. "Where are you going?"
Nathan shrugged. "Don't worry about it," he said. "Out to dinner with a friend."
The way he said friend brought a sick feeling to my stomach. A girl? He was going out to dinner as in, on a date? What the hell did that even mean? What the hell was he trying to get at?
My earlier uncertainty at the situation quickly changed into anger.
"So were you ever planning on giving me some kind of explanation for what happened?" I asked steadily, forcing myself to look into his grey eyes.
Nathan shrugged. "You heard it all back at your house from Mike. What else is there to say? We had a deal and it got screwed up and now it's all over. That's it."
I was silent. "That's it?" I said finally, feeling pissed off. "That's it? That's all you have to freaking say after lying to me about this whole deal this entire week? That's it?"
"What do you want me to say?" said Nathan, absentmindedly rummaging through drawers. He reached into one of the drawers and pulled out a fancy watch, which he deftly put onto his wrist.
There were so many things wrong with this situation, the primary one being how Nathan wasn't even interested in this conversation. He was answering offhandedly; more concerned with this date of his than with explaining to me what was going on.
"Okay I have to go now so you're going to have to leave my room," said Nathan shortly.
I goggled at him, as he began to exit his room.
Then I reached forward and grabbed his sleeve. "No, you're not leaving!" I said, my voice getting a little shrill. "Not until you talk to me."
"What the hell is there to talk about?" snapped Nathan suddenly, turning around at the doorway.
I was at a loss for words, surprised at his tone. Why was he so pissed off? What did he have to be pissed about? "Why are you so angry?" I asked finally.
Nathan looked down at the ground then sighed, as if pondering something over. Then he reached over and slammed the door shut forcefully, making me jump slightly. "You want to talk? Okay, let's talk then."
He sighed, facing the door, then spun around. "I don't know what you want me to say to you. Goodbye? This week was fun? Have a nice rest of your life?"
What?
What the hell was he saying?
This week was fun? What did that even mean?
"This week was fun," I said flatly, repeating his earlier words. "What's that supposed to mean." I didn't even bother trying to make that sound like a question.
Nathan sighed, placing his fingers on the bridge of his nose. "It means," he said in an annoyed tone. "That this week was fun. But now it's over and we need to move on. And I need to get on with my life, that's not going to center around a helpless 18 year old girl who I had to babysit for an entire week."
I was at a loss for words again at his condescending tone. "Babysitting?" I said, when I finally gained by bearings. "So that's what this all was to you?"
Nathan shrugged, running his hand through his damp hair. "More or less," he said. "I needed the cash. Mike had a viable solution. So I was just following it through."
"You were following it through," I repeated emotionlessly. "So what happened today at the museum? What did all of that mean?"
Nathan looked down at me, realization dawning on his face. "So that's what this is all about?" he asked finally.
I said nothing.
Nathan sighed, letting out a long breath before he spoke. "I told you at the house in front of Mike; this week was a lie. What more do you want me to say? Do you want me to explicitly say that everything I told you today at the museum was bullshit? Well here you go then. Everything I said to you at the museum today was complete bullshit."
I was silent again, not really hearing or digesting his words totally.
"Is that what you wanted to talk about?" continued Nathan. "Well does that answer your question? Because I really need to go now."
He headed towards the door again before I spoke up. "Then why'd you call the deal off?" I said, my voice slightly foreign.
Nathan froze at the door before answering. "We didn't call it off," he said with a sigh. "There was some miscommunication and Mike got pissed off. So we decided to trick him into thinking that we were opting out of the deal so we could get the cops on his case. And in a strange way, it all worked out."
My mouth was dry, my heart starting to pound as the realization seeped into my mind. Was this really happening? Was Nathan really saying all this?
I stared into the cold, hard truthfulness in his eyes and my heart sank. "S-so today was a lie?" I stuttered. He hadn't answered that question in front of Mike, so I had to know now. It was the one spark of hope I was clinging to.
Nathan lifted his head until we were staring straight into each other's eyes. His grey eyes were unfeeling, dark and callous. "Yes," he answered. "Today was a lie."
I sucked in a sharp breath, taking an instinctive step backwards.
So they had all been part of this in the end. They had all known I would fall for Nathan. And they had planned their take down of Mike on all that?
No. That required too much foresight. They couldn't have known Mike was coming today.
But the way Nathan said it, so calmly and so emotionlessly, it created this nagging in my mind that he had planned this whole situation from the very beginning.
After all, he was a gang leader and all.
Today was a lie? So all his so-called feelings towards me were just lies?
"This was all part of the deal?" I asked, my shaky voice betraying the betrayal I was feeling inside.
"We've been over this already," said Nathan impatiently. "Yet, this was all for the deal." His mouth was turned downwards into a pitying frown. It was like he was making fun of me or something. But I didn't have room in my head to be upset by that. I had to get my questions out and I had to get some answers, no matter how bad they would make me feel.
Maybe this was all a joke.
Maybe he was lying right now.
Maybe he was just saying this for some unknown reason.
I kept grasping at all these maybes, in the hope that one of them might be right.
But doubt was overtaking all my emotions, and I could do nothing but listen to Nathan.
"I don't know what your side of the story is but everything we did was for the deal. Ever since the day you came we've been trying to make you feel comfortable so you could take us over to your dad's office eventually. And I guess it worked, though in a way slightly unexpected." Nathan gave a laugh. It sounded more like a bark.
It was so bluntly harsh, it made me flinch when I heard how unfeeling his voice was. It didn't sound like the Nathan I had known in the past week.
I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
"I don't understand," I said, my voice getting higher. "What happened today that made you like this?"
Nathan rolled his eyes. "Nothing happened Arianna," he said. I flinched when he said my name; it didn't create that warm feeling in me. Instead, it made me upset at how coldly he sounded.
He sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Look. I had a fun time with you, I really did. But this week is over and as harsh as it sounds, we're done. Whatever this was between us is over, and I need to get back to my life."
It was like he was breaking up with me, though we hadn't really officially been together to start with.
The meaning of his words hit me, and my gut plummeted downwards.
So everything he had ever told me regarding how he felt about me was all bullshit?
And now, that this week was over, Nathan was pretty much breaking it all off?
The realization of this hit me, and I realized how hard and how badly I had fallen for him.
And Nathan? He had been in charge the whole time and had no problem making me like him.
This was probably just another girl talk Nathan was used to having. He was used to just crushing their feelings like that all of a sudden. It was all part of his player's game, to make a girl so vulnerable to his charms.
And I, the most scornful of his womanizing habits, had fallen for him.
Nathan suddenly reached down and pulled his phone from his pocket, checking the caller ID before answering. "Hey babe," he said, his voice warm.
My heart sank. Babe? What was he saying? Why was doing all this?
"Yeah, I'll be there soon," he continued, glancing at his watch. "I'm just caught up with some stuff; it'll be fast."
Nathan listened for a few seconds, a smile spreading on his face. "Exactly my thoughts," he said, a smirk visible on his face. It made me sick to see him flirting like this right in front of me. Why the hell was he doing this?
God, I felt stupid. So ridiculously stupid. I should have seen this coming; I really should have. I mean, what made me so different than the other girls Nathan had talked to or hung out with?
Most of all, though, I felt hurt.
The past week, I had felt things for him that I had never truly felt for anyone else before. I had trusted him completely with my secrets, my regrets, my dreams. And I had thought he trusted me as well.
Well I was wrong.
Nathan hung up his phone and turned his attention back to me, the smile fading on his face. "So are we done here?" he said, adjusting the cuffs on his shirt.
Why was he so uninterested in this? Had this week meant absolutely nothing to him that he could just throw me off like this?
"You're lying," I managed to say, trying to maintain a calm face. I couldn't understand what was going on. I had to deny it all. He didn't mean what he was saying. I had found out so much about him, that it was so, so difficult to grasp that he was acting like this. Had anything he told me been real?
I had thought I had found Nathan's true self, hidden behind that façade of uncaringness and aloofness. And just when I thought that, he had to spin it around and cut things off between us.
Nathan shook his head in frustration. "No, I'm not. You're looking too much into this. You want the real story? Well here it is. Just get the basic facts out of this. I played my role, and now the damn play is done. The show is over."
He had made everything he told me up? My eyes widened in denial and hurt. I didn't know what to say. I still had a probing question in the back of my mind, though I was in absolutely no condition to talk.
"Oh and all the stuff I said about my mom?" Nathan recalled, as if reading my mind. "Very touching but nevertheless a lie. Sure, I was sad and all when she died, but really, it hasn't carried over all these years. It hasn't mattered as much as I made it sound to you. But you needed someone to talk to about all that and I needed an opening into your heart, so I jumped in to be there at the right time. It's actually pretty fortuitous how it all worked out in the end."
That was a lie?
"Honestly," he continued. "I would have expected someone like you to call me out on my lies. I thought you were smarter than that, honestly. I'm never serious with girls; I thought you knew that from the very beginning. This week just proved how easy it is to manipulate someone with the right tools. It's funny though how well it worked out. Thanks to you, Mike's gone and we've become probably the strongest gang out here. So I owe you actually."
I searched his grey eyes for some bit of understanding, some sort of explanation for all this.
His eyes were completely blank, with no emotion whatsoever. He looked serious, strengthening the bad feeling in my gut. The weight of his words still didn't totally register in my head. I was only just beginning to grasp the meaning of his words.
It was all a fucking lie? I sucked in my breath sharply. I had trusted him, completely and totally. I had thought I had found someone to confide in about my mom and now he had made all that up? A terrible feeling crept up my gut.
Before I knew what was happening, I felt tears in my eyes. Real tears, not the kind you get after laughing super hard or the ones you get at some high school graduation ceremony. The ones that make you cry your heart out, the ones that make you feel like there's no hope in the world.
The ones that I had felt when my mom died.
My hand flew to my face, to stop the inevitable tears. My face crumpled as I hastily scrubbed away the tears that were beginning to form in my eyes. I couldn't believe it.
Nathan's eyes widened, probably about the fact that he had just won our damn bet, which I had actually forgotten about. Was this all about that as well? Him winning probably just added to his stupid list of glories he was getting from all this.
It didn't matter to Nathan. He would always have this gang around and he would always have his girls. I was just another addition to his to-do list; after this, I was sure he would just walk off completely forgetting everything about me in less than a second.
I didn't realize how much this was affecting me. I couldn't believe I had fallen so hard for him. And I couldn't believe how terribly my gut was hurting.
I had never felt so badly because of a guy. All my previous relationships had ended mutually on both ends.
Was this how it felt like to be heartbroken? God, I didn't even know. And I didn't care.
And what sucked even more was the fact that even after all this he was telling me, I couldn't bring myself to truly despise him or even dislike him. I hated how strong my feelings were. I had never felt so stupid and so played before.
"Good job. Congratulations. Y-y-you won the bet," I stuttered out, unable to meet his eyes. I didn't care how foreign and terrible my voice sounded. I just had to get out of there. "I hope you're happy."
That was all I could say at the moment, before the tears started to fall heavily down my face. Then, turning away with a broken heart, a destroyed spirit and a sick feeling in my gut, I walked as fast and as far as I could out the door and away from the guy I had hopelessly fallen in love with.
-----------------
Sprinting out the door, I took two steps past the gate and crashed right into Sam.
"Whoa," said Sam, steadying me with his hands.
"Watch it, Arianna," he joked. His light expression instantly changed when he saw my tear-streaked face.
"Holy fu-shit Arianna. What happened? Oh my God, are you alright?"
I couldn't talk; couldn't get myself together to say one freaking word.
I couldn't believe everything that was happening.
I did the first thing I thought of and pounded my fists against his chest.
"I-hate-you," I managed with several deep breaths, ignoring the burning in my eyes and the tears coming out in large amounts.
Sam's face twisted into something strange, and a confused look appeared on his face. "W-what? W-what happened?" he stammered, his voice full of worry and uncertainty.
Why was he even asking? He knew about the deal and so he obviously knew about Nathan's plan to make me fall for him. This wasn't even a question. He knew exactly what was going on all this time.
I couldn't believe I had trusted this guy. He was just another stupid, stereotypical gangster and all he wanted was to gain my trust. Like Nath-- like the other guys.
"Arianna, please please listen to me," said Sam pleadingly, holding my shoulders with his hands.
"Get away," I choked out, feeling an onset of tears start again. I shoved off Sam's hands and attempted to push past him. When had I gotten so weepy? I took a deep breath and wiped my eyes.
"I can't believe you," I shouted, turning around. "All of you. You're all assholes. Especially, especially--" I couldn't bring myself to even say his name without making my gut lurch forward. "How could you do this to me Sam? To me? And was all that about your sisters a lie as well? Were you also looking for a way to get me to feel bad for you? Just tell me, and get this shit over with it. Don't worry about my feelings; I mean, it's not even important, is it? So long as your stupid deal worked out in the end."
Sam looked really upset, and he ran his hand through his hair. "No no no, everything I told you was all true. I would never lie about my family. That's not something anyone should lie about. I didn't want to follow through with this bet from the very second day, I swear. You're someone I really care about Arianna. I've never told anyone else that much about my family. Please, I'm so sorry. I know how much of a jerk I was for even agreeing to do this, but that was all before I got to know you. Please believe me. What happened? I thought we were fine just like half an hour ago. I don't know what I did."
Sam clasped his hands together and looked pleadingly at me.
"Family isn't something anyone should lie about? Well, why don't you tell N-Nathan that? He doesn't seem to know about that." The last few words were all jumbled together and I pressed my lips together, trembling from my anger.
Sam looked utterly confused. "Nathan? What did he say?"
Then he looked angry. "What did Nathan say?" he repeated. "What did he tell you?"
I shook my head, my thoughts spilling everywhere. "He said his mom...died but he was over it...I don't know. H-h-he said it was all a lie...To make me like him. He said everyone was just acting everything for that. So was he. And-and I lost the bet, and I know he's glad too." I don't know how Sam understood anything I said, but after I was finished his face grew dark and he pulled me into his arms.
"Nathan said that?" Sam's face twisted, and he looked utterly confused. "I-I don't know. I really don't know what he's saying."
I shook my head, burying my head in his chest. The embarrassment from crying this hard in front of Sam was completely overshadowed by my intense grief.
"A-and then," I continued, my voice slightly muffled. "He called someone else..I don't know..some other girl on his phone. And he's going on a d-date right now and he knows I..he knows..."
Sam's expression was incredulous. "Why would he do that?"
I shook my head. "I don't know," I cried, hiccupping slightly from my choking sobs.
"I know Nathan has a, a way of saying things. But I promise we'll set things straight. I don't know what he said about a date but that's all bullshit."
I shook my head and pulled back, wiping my eyes with my hands and taking a deep breath. "No. I'm not making that up. He told me this whole week was a lie and that he was sick of babysitting me. And now he's going on a fucking date and I don't know what he's even saying anymore."
Sam's surprised look morphed into anger, as he took in my words. "I don't know what Nathan said, but I swear we'll set things right. He can't have meant any of that Arianna."
"He did," I said, tears spilling out over my cheeks at the memory. "You didn't see him; you didn't see his face Sam." He hadn't seen his eyes, the calculating coldness in them that was just so completely unrecognizable to me. I had never seen Nathan look like that.
Sam sucked in a sharp breath. I was sure he was remembering Nathan's player habits, and how easily he tossed girls around. He looked incredibly confused and pissed off at the same time. "We're not going to let him off, I swear to you that. I-I, I really don't know what happened, Arianna."
I looked at the ground, willing my tears to stop flowing and just wanting to go home and sink into my bed in despair.
"Do you want me to take you home?"
I nodded, unable to talk anymore.
Damn, it was like all the tears that had never fallen in the past five years were all coming out now. I was like a fucking faucet that had broken and was now spewing out water. It sucked. This sucked. Everything sucked. What a terrible ending to my stay at that house. What a fucking terrible ending.
Sam gently guided me to the car, then silently started to back the car out of the driveway.
We said nothing, as the car rode down the streets.
Sam stared impassively at the road ahead, looking angry and guilty. His fingers were clenching the steering wheel tightly, the skin at his knuckles turning white.
I, on the other hand, was sitting crouched in the passenger seat, trying my hardest to stop crying. It was difficult. Every time I regained my composure, I would be reminded of Nathan somehow. The Mexican restaurant, the club, some random pedestrian in a grey hoodie and just the streets in general. It all reminded me so much of Nathan.
God, I needed to stop thinking about him. He was an inconsiderate jerk. He was a douche and a player. He was messed up and was an asshole.
Who could also be really sweet and had a different face than what he showed others.
I sighed.
No, I had to see his true face. If this was what he said he was, then dammit, I wasn't going to try to see otherwise. If he had lied to me all these times just to get closer to me, I wasn't going to justify his actions for him. If he was so ready to push me out of his life once this week was over, then fine, I wouldn't care either.
I sat up resolutely in my seat.
Screw him. If he was so ready to toss me aside all this time for the sake of his stupid deal, then I didn't want anything to do with him. I didn't want to ever see or speak to him again. He had made the decision, and I wasn't about to go chasing after him, begging for him to change his stupid mind. That's probably what he was expecting me to do; but I wasn't one of his stupid sluts he could go to. In fact, I was sure that the moment I had left, he had gotten into his car to go join his date. Yeah, they were probably laughing at me right now. Goddammit. I was so stupid and so naive. Why did I fall for Nathan?
When Sam dropped me off at my house, the house was silent and empty, a stark contrast to all the commotion earlier.
I stepped out of the car, only vaguely hearing Sam's door open as well. I walked towards my front door, feeling strange.
Sam stayed at the door as I opened it, his view cast down at the ground.
"Thanks," I said flatly. I looked up at Sam, my eyes tired and sick of everything. At this point, I just wanted to sink into my damn bed and forget the world.
Sam frowned. "I'm so sorry Arianna. I really am. And I'm going to go fix all this up for you."
I stared at the ground, having nothing to say, then stepped into my house. I closed the door behind me, after a last, quick look at Sam.
He slowly turned around, his hands deep in his pockets, then walked out to his waiting car.
Without a second thought, I ran and fell onto my bed, squeezing my eyes shut. I covered my head with a pillow, trying to block out any thoughts.
But with every second, I couldn't help thinking back to him. To the mysterious, secretly sweet guy who had suffered similarly as I had. To the guy I had shared so much with and I had learned so much about. To the man who I had had an amazing time with.
To the man who had broken my heart.
And the tears fell once more.