When Subin finally returns from the clinic, it is slightly after lunch hours. The clinic is packed, like it always is. And the lack of staff makes the efficiency low in the clinic. But the hours of quietness let Subin calm down a lot. He returns to the dorm with a packed porridge on the dining table, with a note left by Sejun for him. Knowing that he has to have a meal before he can have his medication, Subin sits down and starts to eat the porridge. Though the porridge is kind of blend, it warms Subin's stomach, which he is thankful for. After the porridge, he gulps down a glass of water together with his fever medicine.
Back in his room, Subin throws himself onto bed, but feels that he is lying on something hard. After digging for his handphone, he notices the notifications. 5 missed calls and 1 text message. The preview of the message flashes Seungwoo's name, with a text asking if Subin is okay and that he is worried. Subin turns his phone off and places it away. He is a little drowsy from his medication, and furthermore, he just does not want to answer. Soon, Subin drifts off to sleep.
When Subin wakes up, it is already in the evening. Sejun is back in the dorm early to help with preparing dinner. Subin knows his roommate is back since his backpack is laying at the corner of the bed. Subin feels relieved to know there are people in the dorm. He gets up from his bed, feeling sore on various parts of his body. His sweat has wet the shirt he slept in. Subin decides he needs to wash himself up to feel refreshed so he quickly steps into the bathroom with a new set of clothes. The closing of the bathroom door alerts the two in the kitchen and Sejun worriedly calls out to Subin.
"Suub, is everything okay?"
"Yea, I'm alright. Just going to wash up!"
The voice is faint coming through the bathroom door but it is assuring to the two busy in the kitchen.
After the shower, Subin is greeted with several dishes and two smiley faces. He appreciates the effort of his dorm mates. Seungsik quickly sits the young man down at the table, urging him to start eating. It does not matter that the other members of the dorm are not back yet, Seungsik and Sejun just want Subin to eat well and quickly recover so their worry can all be lifted. The two joins Subin at the table as they see that the young man just sits there awkwardly and still not digging in. By sitting down, Subin is encouraged to start tasting the food. Though his tastebuds are not working to his favour, he can appreciate the warmth both from the food and from the bottom of his heart.
After dinner, Subin is quickly pushed back into his room, instructed to get to rest. He looks at the empty room and his bedsheets, then thought of his sweat that afternoon. He decides he should change a fresh set of beddings for himself before sleeping. As he is tidying up his bed, he spots his phone that had been chunked away earlier that day. Subin turns his phone on, and his screen immediately starts flashing. There were endless of missed calls and several unread messages.
Hey Subin, I'm worried. What's wrong with you? Everything's alright? Please reply me.
The most recent message is from Seungwoo.
Everything's fine, sir. I had a fever this morning so I took the day off.
Subin replies in a cool tone, very official, very distant.
Ah! Is it? That's no good. Rest more. And drink lots of warm water, Subin. Go to bed and rest for the day.
Seungwoo's reply comes almost immediately, as if he was waiting by his phone all this time. Subin finds it odd how Seungwoo manages to reply so quickly, barely giving him to think about how to react. He then sends greetings to Seungwoo before shoving his phone away.
Subin's fever goes away really quickly, but his cough continues. Sometimes he coughs himself awake at night. And he feels guilty about it whenever he sees Sejun squirm in his bed. However, with this excuse, Subin skips tennis practices for the time being. This reduces the time he has to spend awkwardly around Seungwoo.
During the class time that he cannot avoid meeting Seungwoo, Subin chooses to sit in the middle of people, such that his seat is often inaccessible from the aisle. After class, Subin is often the first to disappear, as if he never existed. Much to his relief, the term is coming to an end and it also means that Subin and Seungwoo will not cross paths for a while.
Whenever Seungwoo tries his luck at the cafe, Subin acts busy in the kitchen. When Seungwoo waits for Subin to finish work, the young man always greets politely, but pretends to be busy with many other things. He may be hanging out with some coworkers, or he may need to rush an assignment that day and eventually he said he needs to focus on his end of term exams. He always finds himself an excuse when Seungwoo asks to hang out.
Eventually, Seungwoo decides to give Subin the space he needs. So sometimes he stands outside the cafe and observes the young man working for a long time. Other times, Seungwoo would finish his class and fix his gaze at the leaving young man. If Seungwoo misses the boy too much, he will make his way to the library. On lucky days, he gets to sit a few tables away from Subin's normal seat, and watch the young man from behind. When Subin isn't around, he takes Subin's place and sit at the usual spot. Seungwoo does his readings, and prepares his lessons.
In the last few weeks of the term, Subin tries hard to get his focus on his studies. He is either at the cafe or the library. His meals are accompanied by his notes. Occasionally, before bed, he opens up his chat history with Seungwoo and he would read them all over again. The more he reads, the more he feels that Seungwoo did not sound flirtatious, instead he sounded much more like a caring big brother. Does he even find me attractive? Or it's only that I find him attractive... Subin sleeps clouded with thoughts on most days. But he tries to start his next day afresh, being a hardworking student. On other days he crams his study schedule late into the night, and only closes his eyes when he feels extremely tired and overworked.
Finally, the weeks of final exams have passed and it is finally term break.
On the Friday, as Subin steps out of the examination hall, he feels a huge weight lifted from his shoulders. He has definitely worked hard and he hopes it all pays off. After the weekend, he will return home to spend the term break with his family. This means time away from this city, and time away from the people here. He is glad for the time he can be away as he can finally clear his mind and organise his thoughts.
That night, he sits in the cafe, while fiddling his phone. The cafe isn't in its usual crowded Friday since it is exams period, but there are still quite a few groups of customers in the restaurant for their usual dinner gathering and they seem to be taking their chance to gather late into the night since the it isn't busy. Most of them are drinking and chattering softly among themselves. Subin sits at the bar table and his fingers presses into his chat with Seungwoo out of muscle memory. Seungwoo had text him earlier that day to ask about his last exam. Subin sees all these message as normal greetings or concerns for a friend. Or it is just that he tries to believe it is all platonic, but it does not help with him feel his heart skip a beat when his screen flashes Seungwoo's name. He always replies in a polite, gentle tone. There are also times when he leave the notification for half a day before getting back to it, all on purpose.
As Subin scrolls through the messages he accidentally presses on the phone button. Before he could react to hang up, Seungwoo picked up the line. It is as if Seungwoo has been waiting for this call.
"Hello, Sub. I'm glad you're calling me."
"Ah- Hi, Sir. I'm—" Subin cannot find any word to say.
"You up for some drinks later? I can meet you after your shift at the cafe."
How does he know I'm working?
"Sounds okay to me. I'll see you later, sir."
Why did I agree? Subin quickly hangs up, and sighs as he stares at his phone. He decides maybe it is good to meet Seungwoo up, and find closure, since he's taking a break from this city soon anyway.
Across the street from the cafe, Seungwoo sits in the convenient store. This has become his hanging spot when he is free. He can observe Subin working from his spot. At the same time, he can pretend to be working on his laptop. Sometimes he feels like he is a stalker but he justifies it to himself as acts of affection. He senses that their contact has been less and Subin seem to be avoiding him these days. But he convinces himself it is all because exams were around the corner and Subin is just a hardworking student. He used to be worst, he hid in his cell to study, and often stay up through the night. He is especially glad that Subin has called him, because he wants to meet. He wants to talk to the boy. He misses Subin.
When it is about time the cafe closes, Seungwoo picks up his bag and makes his way across the street. Subin waves at him from inside, signalling for the older man to come inside. Seungwoo smiles as he pushes open the glass door. The bell echos in the empty cafe. Subin's coworkers have all left for the day, and Seungjun has agreed to let Subin use the cafe after closing that night.
Seungwoo makes his way to the table Subin is sitting at, and makes himself comfortable in the seat across the young man.
Subin puts a glass of beer in front of Seungwoo gently and then goes back behind the counter to get himself a glass of the same beer. When the young man is back, Seungwoo holds up his glass to clink Subin's.
"Cheers to term break for you." Seungwoo smiles as he speaks.
"Cheers." Subin tries to sound cheerful.
"How's your exams?"
"They're okay I guess. Are you sure we can talk about that, sir? Didn't you set the paper?"
"Ah— maybe not. The end to your exams means the start of my busy days. Grading the papers can sometimes be a bit challenging. So what are your plans for term break?"
"I'm going back home on Monday. Probably will spend the rest of the term break with my family."
"Ah— nice. So you're going back to Daejeon?" Seungwoo recalls from previous conversations of Subin's hometown.
"Yes, what about you, Hyung?"
The word Hyung slips Subin's tongue. He does not notice it but Seungwoo grins at how the younger one addresses him. He has been getting sick of the word sir that he had corrected Subin out of before. But recently, Subin has been using the formal word to address him again, making him feel distant.
"I'll be here. I mean I have my duties, and also I'll have to work on my research project with the professor, which I haven't progressed much lately."
"Sounds like that'll be tough. Would you like some food to go with the drinks?" Subin mumbles, then takes a gulp of beer.
"That'll be good, and maybe some soju."
Subin had saved a plate of chicken from before so he pops it into the oven to heat up for a few minutes. Then he gets a few bottles of soju from the fridge with two shot glasses. After he is sure the food is heated up, he brings them to the table.
Seungwoo puts a piece of chicken on Subin's plate first.
"I can help myself. But thank you."
"I don't mind taking care of you."
Seungwoo wants to add especially you, but those words reach his throat but gets swallowed back in. He thinks it will be too much, and besides Subin seems more reserved than the last few times they met, before the whole exam studying period happened.
The sentence is still enough to make Subin feel flattered. He appreciates it, but at the same time he reminds himself in his mind, Seungwoo may just be a person who likes to take care of others. It's not just me. He takes care of the other young boy the same. Subin repeats to himself in his mind as he bites the piece of meat Seungwoo picked up for him.
"Anyway, will you be my tour guide if I visit you at Daejeon?" Seungwoo smiles, leaning in as he asks.
The question catches Subin off guard. He never imagined Seungwoo in his hometown, and definitely not him and Seungwoo together in Daejeon. Why? He wants to ask but that will be impolite.
"Yes, sure. I can do that." Subin hates that he never know how to reject.
"Then if you ever visit Busan, make sure to let me know too!"
"I will, surely."
Subin is not sure if he has any plans for Busan anytime soon. And he hopes he does not, and that his family does not plan a trip soon, so it does not turn out awkward if Seungwoo finds out in future. Wait, in future? Maybe we won't even be in contact in future. Subin convinces himself that this crush he has is definitely not going anywhere, and he should never have his hopes up.
The two then chat for a bit more, most conversations initiated by Seungwoo. They also finish four bottles of soju, and Subin starts to blush and his eyelids get heavy. Seeing that, Seungwoo stacks the used utensils and plates neatly into the sink and disposes the soju bottles. When he comes back from the kitchen, Subin already has his head on the table. Seungwoo pats Subin on his shoulder while he gets ready Subin's outerwear and stretches the young man's arm into the sleeves.
"Come on Sub, it's time to go back. I'll walk you back to the dorm."
Though half-conscious, Subin manages to dig out keys to lock up the cafe. When he almost loses balance as he gets up from his squatting position, Seungwoo catches him from behind. This act has Subin blushing brighter than what the alcohol had. The young man then leans against the broad shoulders while Seungwoo walks him back to the dorm. Subin tries several times to regain his balance and walk on his own, but his head is spinning too hard. Subin looks up for a moment, the man looks extremely attractive, even from a lower angle. Even with a slightly blurred vision, Seungwoo's jawline is sharp, his nose bridge is high and the defined brows all add up to a handsome face.
At the foot of Subin's dorm. Seungwoo stands, holding the young man.
"Hey, Sub, we're here, can you go up yourself?"
"Hyung..." silence.
"What is it?" Seungwoo leans the side of his face close to Subin's face.
"Hyung, why are you so handsome... you keep swaying my heart. I've tried so hard to control this feeling. I want to put it down. Why can't I? I keep telling myself you're kind to everyone the same, but your gestures always keep my heart racing. Hyung, it aches here..." Subin clenches his fist and hits on his chest.
Under the influence of alcohol, Subin voices his thoughts. All that he had been holding in for weeks, all he had buried at the bottom of his heart escape his lips. And yet he does not realise this, for in his dreamy eyes, all he can see is Seungwoo's face.
Seungwoo looks back at the young man. He finds this boy extremely cute and he has a strong urge to turn back in the other direct, bring the boy home so he can care for the drunk boy. He never expects Subin to confess. Seungwoo is attracted to Subin, and that to the older man is clear. But he believes he never treats Subin too differently from the others, less does he expect Subin to feel confused by his actions. But now that he knows how Subin feels, he can surely make bolder moves.
"Okay Sub, you have to go up now, I know you can do it."
Seungwoo has no intention to take advantage of the drunk boy, so he helps Subin stand on his feet then send him in the lift. Out of muscle memory, Subin presses on the correct floor. Seungwoo then watches the lift door close and the digital numbers flash the next floor, and the next until it stops. He then press for the lift again, and makes sure an empty lift returns before making his way out.
Seungwoo's mood has been lifted greatly by the little confession. He wonders how long had Subin kept this inside. He can still remember the look on Subin's flushed face when he returns home and get in bed. So he picks up his phone and texts the young man. Hope you got home alright. If you're free, can we meet this weekend? Seungwoo decides that he will advance with clearer and bolder moves so Subin will not be confused anymore.
The next day, Subin wakes with a headache, but his dorm mates have all these sorted, Seungsik prepares him hot soup and a honey drink. Subin can vaguely recall that Seungwoo had walked him back the night before, but he cannot remember a single word he said.
Some of his dorm mates are packing to leave for the term break, and Subin, too, gets to his packing chores after his breakfast. He also has a evening shift today so he has no time to waste. Amidst the busy morning, Subin picks up his phone and reads Seungwoo's text. But he also quickly puts it away. The reply can wait. Subin suppresses his urge, and gets back to packing. But Subin does not expect himself to be kept busy with packing until just before his shift starts. So he rushes off to work and forgets about the text completely as it is a busy Saturday evening at the cafe. When the cafe quietens down, and Subin has time to sit down finally, he takes out his phone and finally opens up the chat with Seungwoo.
Sorry sir. I was busy with packing and work today. I think I have some more errands to run tomorrow too, and then a shift in the evening. I'm not sure if there's time to meet.
That's fine. I'll drop by at closing time today so it will not take a long time.
During closing, the door to the cafe opens with the echo of the bells, and Subin looks up from his wiping action on the table, about to announce that the cafe has closed to the day. Seungwoo walks in, and he is holding a strawberry scream sandwich sandwich on one hand and a bottle of strawberry milk on the other.
"Here, it's late at night, hopefully you had dinner. But if you haven't, don't go to bed with an empty stomach."
"Thank you—"
"Also, we're done with the student and teacher relationship since the term ended, you can call me comfortably now. Just call me Hyung, not sir, okay?" Seungwoo knows Subin is about to call him sir again.
"I'll try. Hyung—" Seungwoo has already poked the straw into the milk bottle and hands it over to Subin.
"Good. Anyway, rest early today. I promised I won't take long."
Seungwoo smiles and places the strawberry sandwich into subin's free hand. The older man quickly leaves a goodbye then slips out of the cafe.
Subin stands at the same spot, and sips the strawberry milk. He cannot understand why Seungwoo will come in at this late hour just to give him food, and remind him to eat. He also wonders why Seungwoo suddenly insist that he address him informally. Subin quickly collects back his thoughts and finishes the cleanup he is doing, then head back to the dorm. On the way back, he munches on the strawberry sandwich, paired with the strawberry milk, and he tastes the sweetness, both in his mouth and his heart.
The following day, Subin wakes up to run some errands. He sorts out the trash and boxes up some of his belongings so he can mail them back home. And when he finally settles to consider that he is done packing, it is almost time for work again. He thinks he may be pushing himself too hard, but he is glad all the busy schedules can keep his mind off wild thoughts of Seungwoo. But it doesn't help that Seungwoo texts that he will drop by again in the night. And Subin wonders why.
Seungwoo does not appear until Subin grabs his bag and is ready to leave. He is not in charge of closing this time since he cannot bring the keys home for the whole term break. Seungwoo greets Subin outside the door, the same warm smile on his face. Different from yesterday, Seungwoo is holding a small plastic bag today. He reaches inside and hands Subin the same strawberry milk he bought him the day before, no doubt, also with a straw.
Seungwoo walks Subin back to the dorm, and the journey is in endless chatters of Seungwoo describing his days and he also drops hints on the day they drank. He occasionally posts questions to Subin so Subin is involved in the conversation. And he confirms that Subin does not remember a word he said that night.
At the foot of Subin's block, Seungwoo hands over the small bag.
"I got you some bread, and kimbap. Heat it up before you leave tomorrow. Have it on the train ride." He does not mention that he handmade the kimbap.
"Thank you, Hyung. You didn't have to go through the trouble. But thank you. It's late, you should go back and rest." Subin says, almost ready to turn and get on the lift, but Seungwoo stops him.
"Subin, can you try to free up your weekend next week? I want to visit Daejeon."
"I—" Subin almost wants you find an excuse to say he is busy but he remembers he had once agree to be the tour guide if Seungwoo ever visits. "I'll free out the weekend."
"Okay then, it's a date." Seungwoo pushes Subin into the lift.
"Way do you mean Hyung—" Subin's eyes widen when he hears Seungwoo says it is a date.
"I said, it is a date. I'll let you know my train details."
Seungwoo waves as the lift door closes. He knows Subin probably have yet pressed on a floor, and he may open the door, so he quickly flees from the block.
In the lift, Subin stands, still surprised until he hears the lift engine turns off, then he quickly press the lift door open, but Seungwoo had left. So he head back up to the dorm. It's a date. Seungwoo's voice ring in his head. We're going on a date? Subin confirms with himself. Yes, we're going on a date. Subin smiles. Seungwoo mentions a date. Seungwoo suggests the date. Seungwoo asks for the date. So Seungwoo has good feelings about him too.
When Subin sits in the common area back in his dorm, he goes through the food in the bag. Then his finger touches a paper like material, so he pulls out a post-it. And the note reads: Silly, don't be confused anymore, it's because I like you.
-
I am so sorry this final chapter is so long.
Hope you enjoy the story so far.
Possibility of sequels all depends on interactions between them this comeback.
And congrats to victon's comeback! ;)