KYLE
••• Sunshine •••
sunshine
if you threw it in the air, babe
i couldn't help but stare, babe
i'd let you love me blind, sunshine
•••••
Happy 300k words! I am slowly going insane. also sorry if this chapter lowk sucks i wrote it while covid was kicking my ass lol (im fine now)
TW: mentions/reference of ptsd
T-minus two weeks until school began. I think I was the only one of my friends who was actually excited.
The only downside of this countdown meant that I had less than two weeks to throw myself into giving Lloyd the majority of my attention and shower him with good days after such a horrid week. Once classes began, my focus will be heavily on my studies. My Lloyd time will be cut into a fraction of what it'd been.
My high school education being the best it could be was imperative. I wanted to get into a good university - no, the best university. I wanted to get into Borg's very own exclusive Borg Tech, with its yearly acceptance rate of less than ten percent. Though the school was young in comparison to its sisters, it had the best history course in all of Ninjago - every modern archeological and historical genius studied there.
For the first two days of the last two weeks, though, I couldn't do much. I spent it lounging around the house while my poor body recovered, on the phone with Lloyd or reading textbooks in preparation for my first day at Ninjago High, or even doing both at the same time. He thought it was incredibly amusing that I was pre-studying. I told him it was a necessity, and that he should do the same.
His boisterous laughter was all the answer I needed.
Skylor's back-up team was still patrolling the city while the ninja recovered, and Lloyd kept me updated on her and Neuro's stake-out mission watching over Axon. He still had the book, but hadn't used it since he summoned Morro. Who knew what its contents were? Who knew what Axon was capable of?
It made me a little uneasy that he was still hanging around. When I told my parents about him, I'd never seen them both look so furious. The heat of their rage could melt an Ice Age. And though I hated it, I had to make Mum promise not to tell Aunt Rose - not until the ninja dealt with Axon properly. She reluctantly vowed her silence on the matter.
But I could worry about all that later; what I was doing now was using my newfound mundane freedom and working limbs by surprising Lloyd with a gift. Comics and candy - his two favourite things. Hopefully that would mitigate the boredom he'd been complaining about while being cooped up. I stretched my legs and took joy in the easy calmness of a normal Saturday afternoon.
"Sparky!"
My calmness was abruptly shattered by Jay appearing out of thin air, having just sidled up to my side on the footpath I was walking down and scaring my skeleton from my body with his bright announcement. I held a hand over my startled heart and grinned.
"Hey, Jay," I greeted, happily accepting his hug. How could he be back to full energy? I was still practically dragging my feet. "What are you doing out here?"
Jay pulled back and shrugged. "Just taking a walk. Where are you headed?"
Curious. Why would Jay be all the way out in the city if he was just out for a stroll? I eyed him suspiciously for a beat before realising that I didn't actually have the energy to worry about his walking habits.
"The candy shop," I answered and held up the small stack of comics I'd bought earlier. "I'm getting stuff for Lloyd."
Jay beamed. "He'll love that! I'll tag along!"
The Lightning Ninja was an expert talker - he carried the entire conversation on his own and all I had room to do was hum and nod. He was also great at talking about everything except the past week that weighed behind us all, which I was grateful for. I wasn't sure I had the mental strength to revisit that just yet.
While Jay's chirpy one-sided gab rang through the air, we finally made it to Mr. Robuntusson's candy store. Opening the door with its old-fashioned clanging bell was like walking into a brick wall of sugary sweetness, and my eyes almost began to stung. My mouth started to salivate before the door even shut behind us.
The last time I was here it was with Lloyd, back during the first instance of us spending time together. This was where I'd found out that he was bullied. This was where my questions about him truly began to germinate in my brain, flowering only when blessed with answers. There was still an entire valley of buds unbloomed.
"Lloyd's friends!" Mr. Robuntusson greeted cheerily. The old man was sat behind his counter, playing sudoku on a newspaper and nursing a cup of tea. "What a pleasant surprise."
"Hi!" Jay chirped, and I smiled in greeting.
A few lingering customers looked up with wrinkled noses at the mention Lloyd's name. Jay quickly turned around to assess the wall of treat dispensers, but I made eye contact until their stares fell away.
Satisfied, I picked up a bag and began scooping some of the candies I recalled seeing in the hauls he'd grabbed before. When my bag was a reasonable size, I headed to the counter while Jay picked out some candy for him and Nya.
"How is Lloyd doing?" Mr. Robuntusson asked as he folded away his newspaper. He weighed the brown paper bag on a scale. "I don't see him with you."
"He's a little sick, so we came to get him some treats," I answered.
"Ah, you're good friends," Mr. Robuntusson said warmly. I matched his smile in thanks and paid.
"Uh-uh," Jay interrupted, "I'm just tagging along. Y/n here's the good girlfriend."
I blushed at the surprised look that overtook Mr. Robuntusson's face. The bell clanged as the other patrons left the shop.
"Girlfriend, hey?" Mr. Robuntusson echoed with a grin. He took Jay's bag and placed it on the scale, his eyes squinted with mirth. "I could tell."
"I think everyone could," Jay said amusedly. My blush grew worse.
"You just take care of yourself," Mr. Robuntusson continued, taking the cash of Jay's pocket money that he slapped into his outstretched hand. "Especially with school starting soon." He sighed, face greying. "I'll never forget when I first saw Lloyd getting harassed on the street out there. People in this city can be awful. Don't let them be awful to you, too, dear."
I glanced at Jay, but his head was downturned. I took my bag from the counter and nodded uneasily. We left the candy store with heavier hearts than what we entered with.
I knew the bullying was bad, but if just mention of it was enough to make Jay go silent, then I realised it was a lot worse than I initially assumed. I was suddenly very glad I had the idea to bring Lloyd some of his favourite things. Not only did he have to deal with the repercussions of being possessed but in two weeks, he'd be back in the lion's den. He couldn't fight his way out of this one.
I was a little less excited for school, now.
"Do you mind if I come back with you?" I asked the uncharacteristically quiet boy beside me. Jay's blue eyes lifted from where they'd been watching the concrete.
"Sure," he said. "Everyone'll be happy to see you."
I smiled a little but I couldn't hold it. My content morning just got a little more dour.
Jay's dragon was just as he was; buzzing with energy (literally - he was emitting a hum like an electrical appliance) and stomping his paws about like he had ants in his dragon pants. The blue beast was the smallest of the dragons I'd seen so far but something told me that, like Jay, he'd be the fastest.
"Hello." I held my hands up for the dragon to snuffle his snout into and my legs almost buckled beneath the weight of his enthusiasm. Jay's former shroud of gloaming lifted at my giggles at his overexcited Elemental Dragon.
"I thought the others were exaggerating when they said that their dragons love you," Jay admitted, slightly confounded. "Why do they like you so much?"
I shrugged. Just another mystery, another bud that refused to bloom. His dragon planted his nose onto my palm and followed me in drawing circles with his head through the air.
"Do you have a name for your dragon?" I asked.
"Yeah!" Jay brightly answered. "His name is Sparkplug the Second." He frowned to himself. "Not that Wisp and Sparkplug share names..."
I blinked at him. "You had another dragon?"
"Each of the Golden Weapons were protected by a dragon!" Jay then launched into the tale of how each of the ninja evaded and eventually befriended their guardian dragon, who then finally merged into something called an Ultra Dragon-
"They merged?" I asked.
"Don't think too hard about it," Jay said.
Ultra was the Green Ninja's prophesied dragon who helped defeat the Great Devourer before migrating away two years ago. He hadn't been seen since. Being his first 'pet,' Lloyd missed him dearly.
"I think I remember seeing photos of him," I mentioned while patting Sparkplug's forehead. "I didn't know that he was different than what this guy is." Other than the four heads, of course.
"Real dragons and magic dragons." Jay nodded. "Important difference between them is that one of them can eat you."
Reassuring. I was just glad that I attracted the 'non-eating' kind.
The flight to the monastery was quick but cold, as I found all dragon flights to be without my boyfriend-shaped space heater. At least I was right in assuming that Sparkplug was the fastest dragon, because I had to bend my head into Jay's back just so my face wouldn't get wind-whipped. I was surprised my backpack's straps wasn't ripped right off my shoulders.
The Smith siblings were out the front when we arrived, with Kai working on a tan and Nya engrossed in the motor of her project truck. They both looked up when Sparkplug landed. We dismounted before he disappeared with a crackle of air and lightning.
"Well, well." Kai sat up with a grin. "Look who the dragon dragged-in."
"I hate it when you make puns," Nya groaned. She shot a irritated glare over her shoulder. "Put on a shirt, you weirdo."
"And take away from my tanning time? No way." Kai settled back onto his blanket and tucked his arms behind his head. "We just saved the world, sis. I deserve this."
I snickered at the exasperated look Nya gave me. Jay handed over her bag of sweets with an even sweeter smile and her ire softened. She shut the truck's hood with a clang of metal and leant on it, searching through the bag.
"How've you been feeling?" Nya asked me.
"Good," I answered. "Healing tea's gross, but it does wonders."
Nya hummed in agreement. We looked as if they hadn't just fought a war, which was super beneficial if you didn't want people to find out who you are. I could imagine it would be hard keeping your vigilante identity secret if you walked around looking like you'd been mugged by a backstreet gang every other night.
"Is this what you're spending your recovery time doing?" I asked, nodding at the truck.
"Yeah," Nya grumbled, "though it's giving me more grief than it's worth. What have you been doing?"
"Studying."
Three pairs of eyes drew toward me in disbelief, and I felt a sudden, strange bout of stage fright. They wouldn't call me boring like how Claire did, would they? No, surely not. My ears went hot with uncertainty.
"You helped save the world and now you're punishing yourself by studying?" Nya asked in shock.
"Are you some kind of intellectual masochist?" Kai asked, equally baffled by the way I spent my free time.
"I just like being prepared," I quietly reasoned. "These are our most important exams."
"But this is your holiday..." Jay said unsurely.
"The whole point of going to school is to prepare," Nya reminded, which I couldn't defend against.
All I could do was shrug. "I enjoy it."
"Well, we all have our guilty pleasures." She sent me a grin. "You might get all of us begging to be tutored."
My tension eased away. Of course they wouldn't call me boring. "I won't mind, it could even be fun."
"No wonder you and Zane get along so well," Kai said with a smirk as he flattened himself back out on the ground. "People don't usually take to him. But you two? Peas in pods."
I smiled. It was true, I did enjoy Zane's company.
After I parted ways, I wandered the monastery in search of Lloyd. I placed my bag of his gifts on his empty bedroom's desk before checking the other rooms for him. After greeting the nameless dog and narrowly avoiding an attack of puppy kisses, I deduced that Lloyd didn't seem to be inside. Instead I perused the garden and the small path that wound its way through the trees, but he still wasn't a show. I rubbed the smoothened top of a statue of a dragon in thought.
My search came to a stop when I opened the bamboo-hidden door to the onsen and found a head of blond languishing in the milky water. Lloyd turned on his seat, resting his bare arms on the smooth rock of the spring's ledge and smiling warmly, unsurprised at my sudden arrival as he relaxed in the hot mineral water. He would've heard me wandering the place like an idiot. His smile made my own grow.
"Hey, sunshine," Lloyd happily greeted as I approached. His shaggy hair had been pulled into a short ponytail and I was surprised by how much I liked it on him. The pale, scar-knicked skin of his arms glistened with water. "If I knew you were coming, I would've put on some clothes."
I rolled my eyes. "Charming as always."
"What can I say? You bring out the best in me."
Amused, I sat down on the rock beside him and crossed my legs. The steam emitting from the onsen was hot enough to curl the ends of my hair. Lloyd looked healthier; his skin was a little tanner, his gaze brighter and his cheeks weren't so sunken. Even the bags beneath his eyes had receded. My comfort grew at seeing him like this. He'd looked sick for too long.
"How are you doing?" I asked.
Lloyd shrugged and turned back around to rest the back of his head on the rock edge. "Sore. S'why I'm in here." His green eyes peeked open teasingly, swimming with ochre in the sun. "You wanna join me?"
I blushed. "I'm okay for now." The only part that still hurt anymore was my waist, and even that was only shiny skin and a dull throb. Lloyd chuckled at my embarrassment.
The sakura tree was bare of its blossoms, gone in preparation for autumn to come. The branches stretched like veins, piercing the azure sky pocketed with clouds that pressed down upon us with the promise of a summer shower. I could smell it coming.
I gently worked the hair tie from Lloyd's curls and began absentmindedly plaiting it with careful twists of his locks. His eyes closed in bliss.
I smiled at the content expression he'd taken. He really did like his hair being played with, and it reminded me of the last time I saw him in person - of the revelation that shocked us both. It was becoming more and more abundantly clear that he was part... something else.
"Have you purred any more?" I asked. I braided some more of his locks with lazy precision, soft and gold. His cheeks darkened at the reminder.
"No," he uncomfortably answered.
"Have you told your parents?"
"... no."
"Lloyd," I lightly chastised.
"I know, I know," he sighed. "I will."
I could tell he was resisting. Mum's advice from a few days before echoed in my head, though, and I knew pushing would only make things worst. I couldn't make him comfortable to talk about what he was dealing with, the best I could do was make sure he didn't feel alone in it. I let it go and changed the subject.
"I brought you some stuff. It's in your room."
Lloyd frowned in confusion and titled his head back to catch my eyes. "What for?"
"Can I not get you gifts just because I feel like it?" I teased.
Lloyd cheeks tickled pink with appreciation. "Oh. Thank you."
I smiled softly at his surprise. It just made me want to shower him with even more love and affection. I bent down to kiss his forehead, because I was sure I'd die if I didn't.
"What have you been doing?" I asked.
Lloyd's eyes drifted to the side. "I've been drawing."
I recalled him telling me weeks ago that he liked to draw but didn't have much time for it. I was glad he found the time for it during his recovery. Art was therapeutic - except if you're trying to draw hands. Then it became a nightmare.
"What have you been drawing?" I asked. Hopefully not hands.
Lloyd's voice went quiet. "... you."
Me? I had to take a few moments to calm the sprint of fluster my heart had just bolted away with. I leant over his head and searched for his avoidant, embarrassed gaze.
"Can I see?"
Lloyd sunk a little deeper into the milky water. "... one day."
I melted at his cute hesitance and pushed no further. He was adorable when he was bashful, and the confession that he was drawing me left an imprint on my brain. I knew I'd be thinking about this for months. This would be my Roman Empire.
I pushed myself closer so his head would rest on my crossed legs instead of the unyielding rock. My fingers moved to another section of his hair to plait. He knew I was searching for words.
Words bubbled at my tongue but never quite the right ones, a topic I'd wanted to breach for the past few days but just felt wrong to over the phone. I hesitated for a few minutes before pushing through it and speaking.
"Can we talk about the elephant in the room?" I nervously asked.
"What elephant?" Lloyd checked our surroundings in mock surprise. "There's an elephant?"
I smiled at his jest. "I'm talking about my dad."
"Sunshine, I know we figured out you're not part deer, but I really don't think your dad's part elephant."
I pushed at his shoulder with a laugh, and he sloshed through the water with a chuckle. "Lloyd. I'm serious."
"Sorry, sorry." Lloyd settled back against my legs and beamed up at me. At least my nerves were gone, which I suspected was his master plan. "I'm listening."
I forced my fingers to move at their steady pace and not rush out of anxiety - over, under, through. Over, under, through. His head was becoming a crown of small braids.
"I'm sorry you had to find out that way," I quietly began. "I can't imagine it was a pleasant discovery on top of everything else you had to deal with that week."
Lloyd's gazed across the milky top of the onsen as my words settled upon us like the old pink blossoms that drifted acorss the water. His stare lifted to me, but I just continued plaiting. It was a good distraction.
"I wanted to tell you the moment I found out who you were," I said. "Honestly, I really did. I just... I got scared." My fingers paused and I sighed with a self-mocking smile. "I know, it's a weak excuse."
"No, it's not," Lloyd disagreed in a mumble. I finally found the courage to meet his eyes. "It's okay to feel scared. I was scared."
I smiled softly in thanks. He did know how it felt.
"The longer I left it, the more difficult it became," I continued, murmuring my regret. "I thought you guys just hated each other. I didn't realise it was so much worse than that."
Lloyd's eyes traced the stretching branches above us like cracks in a painting. He closed his eyes and exhaled, and the steam before his mouth curled away with the tumble of breath.
"Dad was... Lord Garmadon was dangerous, and your dad knew that," Lloyd said carefully. "And with the threat of the Overlord possessing him... He just wanted to keep the city safe. I can't fault him for that." He reached back to catch my hand and squeezed it lovingly. "I'm sorry. We said some pretty bad things in front of you."
They did. It hurt to hear. "I was so scared you'd hate me, too."
Lloyd's eyes opened at the tremor in my voice. He turned his head to me in shock, and the water splashed with his sharp movement, sending waves across the milky pond and crashing against the sides. My feet grew wet.
"No! No, sweetheart." He rose a little out of the water to meet me at eye level and held my cheeks with an imploring look of sincerity. His hold was hot with spring water. "I could never hate you. Nothing could ever make my feelings toward you change. I love you."
His reassurance was everything I needed to hear. This had been chewing away at me ever since I found out who Lloyd was, and now I felt silly for ever thinking it in the first place. "I'm sorry."
"Stop apologising." Lloyd brought me closer to him to lay a kiss upon my tear-wet cheek. "You always apologise too much."
"Because I hate making you upset." I wiped away my tears with a sniffle. I hated myself for it, too.
"I'm not upset," he promised, cradling my head as if it were a precious thing. "I was shocked and a little hurt back when I found out, but I'm not upset." He tried for a smile that would lift my spirits. "Now it just makes sense how you smashed me at all those shooter games at Mega. You really made me eat my words."
I giggled through a sob and leant into his palm. "I'm pretty good at that."
Lloyd softened at my returning confidence. "The best. Are you feeling a little better, now?"
I nodded. He relaxed.
"Good," he said, before turning a little meek. "... do you think you could turn around? I need to grab my towel."
I tilted my head in confusion before realisation clicked. Oh, god- right, yeah, he's naked. Face burning, I leapt to my feet and spun away with my hands over my face. The sound of water cascading as Lloyd lifted himself from the onsen sounded like thunder. His bare, wet footsteps against rock drummed along my veins.
"Okay," he said after a moment, "I'm decent."
I glanced over my shoulder before my eyes bounced away again with a hitched breath. "You sure?"
Lloyd looked down at the red towel wrapped around his waist in confusion before remembering something. "Ah, sorry," he said in amusement. "Forgot you were a total prude."
"I'm not-" I huffed in exasperation. I peeked back at his chest - but only to check the long, brutal scar that'd slashed him from hip to collar that he'd yet to tell me about. No other reason.
My gaze jumped to his watching smirk. I snapped my head back around. Even his crazy hairdo of my half-assed plaits couldn't stop my fluster, and I wanted to cry. Why did he have to be so hot?
"Uh-huh." Lloyd began walking his way out of the onsen. "Lets go, prudey."
"I'm not a prude!" I complained.
"You're super convincing."
I groaned, balling my fists and forcing myself to trudge after him. The strong line of his back, the line of his traps, the sway of his shoulder blades beneath his glistening skin kept catching my eye. I tore my gaze away and gritted my teeth.
Torture. This is torture.
Lloyd pulled on a shirt when we returned to his room which was both a relief and a disappointment. I stared out at the garden with blazing cheeks while he changed. When the towel was dropped onto the desk chair beside me and a hand tugged me back from the window, I found myself suddenly caught against his chest.
I looked up with a gasp. Humming with delight, Lloyd folded his arms tight around my waist and pressed a kiss to my forehead. I didn't hesitate to return the hug. He was warm. He smelt of the minerals from the onsen.
"You should come by uninvited more often," Lloyd mused, whispering against my hairline. "I think this was the best surprise I've ever gotten."
I felt his smile grow when my heart stuttered and began to race. I couldn't keep any of my dignity around him.
"I'll make note of that," I giddily promised. "Do you want to see your presents?"
At his nod, I slipped myself from our hug and grabbed my bag from the desk. Lloyd curiously unzipped it and peered inside. A smile grew upon his face at seeing the haul of comics and candy.
"I thought you'd be getting bored cooped up at home," I said.
"Have I ever told you that you're the best?" Lloyd sent me a serious look. "'Cause you're the best."
I airily shrugged with a face that couldn't stop blushing. "I won't stop you from saying it more often."
Lloyd dropped the bag and pulled me in by my cheeks to press kisses all across my face. I shrieked in surprise at his swiftness, before falling into giggles at his affection. He brought me into his chest again and swung us from side-to-side.
"The best." He kissed my forehead. "Girlfriend." My nose. "Ever." He muffled my snorts and snickers with his lips over my own.
I drew my arms up and around his shoulders. If this was the reaction I got just by bringing him comics and candy, then I made a mental note to do it more often. Smiling into the kiss, as I always found myself doing, I lifted myself onto my tippy toes to make sure we wouldn't break apart.
It was like honeysuckle, a sweetness formidable and soft. The relief to kiss Lloyd without fear of ghosts or being shackled by an impending war was as emancipating as it was thrilling. My heart raced. My blood sizzled. We were finally safe, again, shut away in the sancturay of his bedroom. He was home.
But Lloyd truly was insatiable, and he had been ever since he'd returned from Morro's possession. He kissed me and kissed me, sparing only gasping pauses to refill our breath. He gorged himself on the delights of our kiss like a man starved and I was left trying to keep up with his rebuilt stamina. It wasn't a bad race to lose.
I grew dizzy with exhileration. It was only Lloyd's desk I leant upon and the hands pinned to my hips that kept me upright. If this was the peak of happiness then I never wanted to leave this high, I wanted to stay in these clouds forever. I quite liked his way of saying 'thank-you.'
"Okay, okay." I turned my head away with a hot-faced giggle. "You still need to recover."
"I'm fine," Lloyd dramatically groaned. He relinquished to my wishes though, and moved his kisses to my neck with a grumble. My eyelids fluttered at the caressing warmth of his breath on my throat. "You're as bad as my parents."
I sipped a sharp inhale when he kissed the flutter of my pulse. "Yeah, people who care about your well-being?" I murmured, and my voice shook with the bliss that overflowed from my lips. "So lame."
I flinched in surprise when Lloyd nipped my throat. "You've got such an attitude."
I think my brain span so fast it'd begun to ascend. Did he just bite me?
... could he do it again?
Lloyd huffed a breath in laughter when I couldn't find it in me to retort, having lost my words. He kissed the spot beneath my ear, continuing his task of rendering me stupid by overdosing on his physical affection. Each attempt of coherent thought was flung to the side and dismissed. I think we'd both just found my shut up button.
"Can't snip back now, huh?" he chuckled. His teeth caught my skin again. My next inhale came too strong.
Holy shit. It felt like I was coming undone.
Was it normal to feel this much? Was I going crazy, or was Lloyd just too good at making me a bumbling mess? The only thing I could do was tighten my fingers around the braids that were falling out.
Lloyd gave me and my beyblade of a brain mercy and I took the opportunity to regain my composure after what the hell that just was. He touched his forehead to mine, amused at my silence and content to just hold me, as if I were better than the comics he loved and candy I knew he'd always crave. But maybe he did value holding me more than them. Maybe he preferred me over his favourite things. Maybe I was his favourite. The thought made me warm.
My hands slipped from his hair and down the slope of his neck while my heart slowed back to its normal pace. If I was me two months ago I'd find the way we did nothing but held each other a little cheesy, a little too corny, that it was something that belonged in a romance novel and to see it in the real world was a little too strange. But now I couldn't conceive of anything that was better than being allowed inside Lloyd's bubble. I understood.
He didn't even care about his gifts at the moment, but that was fine. He'd care about them later, when the distraction of me was gone. He was still saying his thanks. I was still revelling in the way he said it, in the easy way he hugged me tight.
My palms slipped to his neckline of his shirt. My fingers traced the edge of the scar that poked out from behind his neckline, driven with the curiosity of its origin I still wasn't yet allowed to know. Lloyd caught my fingers and pushed them away - not hurriedly, not strictly, but I knew the boundary was there.
I peeked up at him. His red eyes regarded me with the weight of hesitance, of wanting to but afraid of. He opened his mouth as if he had something to say, and then didn't make a sound.
He'd been giving me glimpses past his turreted towers, but it'd seemed the only walls we'd broken down were my own.
🍃🍂🍁🍂🍃
like nya?:
hehe.. i can see you
Sent 10.56am
Me:
😀
Delivered
Me:
should i be scared??
Delivered
Like nya?:
terrified!! always!!!
Sent 10.56
I rolled my eyes with a grin and pushed my phone back into the pocket of my shorts. When I scanned the tops of the buildings surrounding the parking lot I was walking through, a flash of blue dashed across the skyline.
My friend; the world-saving descendent of demigods, the Elemental Mistress, Nya the Water Ninja. It still felt surreal to say I was associated let alone the girlfriend of their team leader.
The team leader that I hadn't spoken to since yesterday when we had a lovely moment and I, somehow, shoved my foot into my mouth. Again. I just couldn't win.
like nya?:
u getting stuff for school?
Sent 10.57am
Me
yessir
Delivered
like nya?:
do u think u can grab me two red pens for english? i forgot to pick them up last week
Sent 10.57am
Me
ofc ofc <33
Delivered
like nya?:
ily ily ily
Sent 10.58am
Me
uwu
Delivered
like nya?:
the fuck is uwu?
Sent 10.58am
I had to take pause. I knew Lloyd's knowledge of slang was outdated, but Nya's, too? They must've thought I spoke a different language entirely.
Me
:'D
Delivered
Me
i'll give em to u when im back
Delivered
like nya?:
tysm!!!
Sent 10.58am
I entered the stationary warehouse and pulled out the list of items I needed that I'd jotted down on my phone. It wasn't too much - just a book for each class, a few bits of stationary and a wall planner.
My mind wandered as I avoided parents with overexcited toddlers and teens with their noses stuck in phones and perused the aisles. I kept thinking back to the day before and the look on Lloyd's face after I touched his scar. In retrospect and with a clearer head, I realised how insensitive it was.
I thought we'd gotten closer than what we'd had. I thought my plastic spoon had dug a bigger tunnel through his walls of Alcatraz - but it was only a mere scrape. It was foolish of me to assume anything. Just how far had I set us back?
I should've discarded my spoon. I should've waited for him to lift the gates himself.
Nya picked up on the first ring.
"I need help," I groaned.
"With pens?" she asked in confusion.
"With Lloyd."
"Oh. That makes more sense," Nya said. "What's happening? Is it... is it the ghost thing?"
I stopped beside a shelf of A4 notebooks and placed five in my basket. I paused to huff.
"I don't know," I said. "Kind of. I just... I feel like I really fucked up yesterday."
I told Nya about the walls Lloyd had built, at the ugly parts of him that he was trying to hide. At the way he reacted to finding out that I knew about him opening the Serpentine Tombs and the way I had to coax him into showing me his red eyes and fangs when he thought I'd be scared of them. At the way he was changing. At the way I'd thought we come further than what we had - all muttered under my breath so no-one would overhear.
"I'm sure you didn't fuck up," Nya reassured. "Lloyd's the forgiving kind, anyway. It takes a lot to make him not like someone. I think you'd have extra immunity to that, anyway - he adores you."
My heart warmed at Nya's reassurance but then it plummeted again. "That scar on his chest... I'm not asking you to tell me what happened." I wanted Lloyd to do that himself. "But... how bad was it?"
Nya was quiet for a moment. I found my pencils and pens and erasers while she searched for a way to answer my question without stepping on Lloyd's toes. The hair on the back of my neck began to prickle the longer she didn't say anything.
When she finally spoke, her voice was grim. "It was really bad. He doesn't even talk about it with us." She cleared her throat and took a moment. "We thought... back then we thought he wasn't going to make it."
A frigid chill trickled through my veins. "... oh."
"Why are you so caught up about all this, anyway?" Nya asked, plastering on a brightness that was clearly fake. "It'll come to you. He'll open up."
"I'm just getting tired of secrets," I sighed, and quietened my voice further. "Between whatever Lloyd's got going on or the secret that he's going to become the next you-know-who and hasn't even been told - or the fact that we're going to have a-" I cut myself off.
"No, no," Nya chastised. "You're going to what? What are you guys going to have?" She paused for a second and then gasped, figuring it out before I could even begin to cover my tracks with a lie. "Oh my god! You're going to have a kid, aren't you?!"
I winced, cursing my rambling and Nya's astute genius.
"Maybe," I mumbled, which was the same as holding a neon sign saying 'YES!' over my head. She laughed down the line with glee.
"I bet you saw it in your future vision back at the cave; god, I remember that look of yours! You'd seen something magical!" she gushed. "What'd your kid look like?"
I smiled faintly. "She was adorable." I recalled the way she held her small hands out in a heart for me in encouragement and the way the sweet gesture of it almost broke me down in the middle of the Tomb's maze. She was held by her dad. Two pairs of red eyes had stared back at me, and the sight had been engrained in me since. "She had his eyes."
Nya squealed with elation. The upset energy of our conversation drifted away and I felt as light as a cloud drifting across a blue sky. Now I just wanted to see Lloyd again and forget that I screwed up yesterday.
"I've been trying to find the right moment to tell him," I said with a grin. I was going to yesterday, but- well...
Nya's laughter petered off. "I'm not so sure that's a great idea, right now."
My smile fell. "Why not?"
"I know he acts all put together and lovey-dovey with you, but when you're not here, he's... quiet," Nya said slowly. "Morro affected him a lot more than he's letting on. And at night - he screams. I've heard it."
My stomach churned at the idea of Lloyd being that traumatised by what happened. I wasn't surprised, unfortunately. I'd just hoped that the mask he put up around me had a modicum of truth to it, though clearly not. I knew he didn't want me to worry but it was redundant. I was always worried over him.
"I think adding that truth bomb to everything else would make it worse," Nya continued. "Sorry, Y/n. Maybe hold off until he's a little more settled."
I hated that I agreed with her. I hated that this was another secret I'd have to keep from Lloyd, even if it was only temporary. I dragged my basket to the checkout with a frown.
"You're right. I'll keep it quiet for a bit." Changing the topic, I exhaled heavily and forced my thoughts elsewhere. "What are you doing all the way out here, anyway?"
"Oh- uh..." Nya offered no more answer. I paused. A dot connected.
"Are you following me?" I asked in disbelief.
"It was Lloyd's idea!" Nya deflected. She didn't just throw Lloyd under the bus, she was driving it herself. "He made all of us add chaperoning you to our patrols until Axon's dealt with. Complain to him!"
Jay must've been following me the morning before, too. I knew his claim of taking a walk through the city was strange - it was a lie so he could babysit me. I huffed in shock.
"Why wouldn't he tell me?" I seethed.
Nya made a sound of exasperation. "I don't know! That's your guys' baggage."
I scanned my items through the self-checkout and fumed. Lloyd wasn't going to spill his heart out and divulge me in every secret he had? That was more than okay, I could be patient - but this? This crossed a line.
I couldn't believe him. This wasn't some secret kept close to his heart, this was assigning my freinds to follow me without even letting me know. My anger must've been audible through the phone, because Nya sighed and softened her voice into one to promote my understanding.
"He just wants to make sure that you're safe. Axon's dangerous. He's worried you'll get hurt, again."
The angry filling of my bag slowed.
"Look, Y/n, ever since Morro happened, Lloyd's reverted. We all know it," Nya continued. "When I look at him I see that kid that had to fight the King of Evil that overtook his own father. Can you really blame him for wanting to make sure you're okay?"
No, I couldn't, and I hated that Nya knew the way to stamp out a fire just as fast at it sprung up. I paid, zipped up my bag, and swung it over my shoulder for the walk home with an unhappy sigh.
"No," I grumpily answered. "I'm still going to tell him off for not letting me know about this, though."
"Oh, please. Be my guest."
Resigned and defeated, I said my goodbyes and hung up just as I left the store. The sun was out, blindingly bright. I squinted against it and scanned the buildings for a body I knew I wouldn't be able to see.
I felt Nya's eyes on me for the whole walk home.
🍃🍂🍁🍂🍃
"Sweet God, put me out of my misery," my dad pled after he opened the door and found Lloyd.
"Good to see you, too, pops," Lloyd greeted in a voice dripping with sarcasm. Mum and I shared a tired look from across the table that we were setting up.
Lloyd had been invited over for dinner - surprisingly Mum's idea and not my own - to spend some quality time getting to know my parents without all of the ninja and world-ending prophecies hanging over our heads. For one night, we were all normal. I was just a girl, he was just my boyfriend, and they were just my parents.
(One of which hated his guts, but I was pretty sure that could still be considered normal)
"Hi, Lloyd," Mum said when he entered the room. He flashed me one of his handsome smiles that made me weak in the knees. "How are you doing?"
"I'm good, thanks, Mrs. L/n," Lloyd replied politely. Dad stomped past to check on the food, grumbling. "How are you? Would you like any help?"
"Ah, I'm doing just fine. Thanks, Lloyd."
When their pleasantries were finished, I straightened out the place mat I'd just laid out before walking past Lloyd and tugging his sleeve. He was taken aback by the stony look I gave him.
"A moment?"
Lloyd deflated at my firm tone. He trudged after me until we reached my room, before stopping when I spun around to face him with my arms crossed. He lifted a hand to rub at the back of his neck.
"Hey, sunshine," Lloyd nervously greeted. His green eyes couldn't stay on mine. "Am I in trouble?"
Don't let his cuteness sway you - but God, was it difficult. I steeled my resolve. "Yep."
His shoulders sunk lower. "Yeah, I thought so."
I had to stop myself from melting at the anxious look on his face. It was like trying to keep the shape of an ice sculpture beneath the blazing sun, slipping through my fingers and uncaring of how you tried to keep it. He didn't like the disappointment on my face.
"I get that you want to keep me safe, Lloyd, but at least tell me before you get the others to stalk me," I ordered, and if he looked guilty before, then he was practically sweating it from his pores. "Do you understand how that's invasion of privacy?"
"It's not stalking-" At my narrowing glare, Lloyd's defence trailed off. He exhaled out his defences and closed his eyes with shame. "I'm sorry. You're right, I should've run it by you first."
"I would've said it's okay," I pointed out. "Why didn't you tell me?"
His green eyes searched the carpet. They lifted to me, and I had to stop myself from wincing at the forlorn weight of his gaze. He looked like a man sorry for the state of the world, as if everything bad were his own doing, a fault of his own. I felt my resolve fully shatter.
"I thought it would make things too real for you. I didn't want you to be scared." His expression tightened. "You've already been too scared."
I knew he was thinking of all the times I'd been frightened throughout last week, of the injuries my body no longer held but my subconscious stubbornly griped onto. 'I'm sorry you had to see the ugly side of my world so soon,' he'd once lamented to me. It was true, his world could be ugly, but it could also be amazing and beautiful and like I'd stepped right into one of my books I so dearly cherished. I loved it more than he realised. It was my world, too.
Lloyd had noble intentions, he always did. But noble intentions or not, I deserved to know. At least he agreed with me, even if the damage had already been done.
And Nya was right, he did look a little grim. There was an intensity to his eyes. He was seeing the world ending over and over again, and the weight of it on his shoulders was almost tangible. It was hard to be mad at him when he just wanted me to be safe, and even harder when he watched me with a gaze that lacked his usual charm.
I dropped my arms and approached until I hit his chest. His hugs still felt the same, though. The kisses to my hair, too.
"Thank you for looking out for me," I whispered, because even with all his walls and towers, even of all that he withheld, that was all he really wanted to do. "Please, tell me these things. We agreed to try and be a team."
Lloyd's arms flinched into squeezing me tighter. His head tucked down. "Sorry," he whispered again.
I smiled softly and pet his gold-spun hair. Lloyd Garmadon was dangerous. He was impossible to stay mad at.
"Who's apologising too much, now?" I teased. I kissed the crown of his head and pulled back, pleased that I'd stood my stance and even more pleased that Lloyd had taken it without complaint. I knew he wouldn't make a fuss. It was a reasonable thing to be upset about - even if I was no longer upset. "We're having pasta for dinner."
I pulled back to leave, but Lloyd remained still. He was still deep in the throes of his guilt.
"Y/n." Lloyd stopped me by the weak call of my name. When I turned back, he was watching me with a torn expression. "I really am sorry."
He was apologising for more than just this. He was apologising for a lot of things. It was okay. I could be patient for him. I took his calloused hand, the hand that carved through battles he didn't have a choice to fight in, and twined my fingers through his. I bled sympathy through touch.
"I know." I lifted myself to press a kiss to his cheek. "I forgive you, Lloyd. I always will."
I wasn't sure if I said the right thing or not. His eyes fell away, crowned by the dusk that sat outside my window. He looked as if he sat on the throne in the centre of the universe. It looked lonely there.
If he lifted his gates for me, how many more walls would I find behind it?
"Come on, hero," I urged him with a sweet smile. "Let's go have some dinner."