I've gotten really into Star Wars over the last couple of months, and I was watching a bad lip reading video of the original trilogy, and the songs that they come up with just absolutely kill me! One of the lyrics to one of the songs is "Every day I worry all day," and I relate so fuckin hard XD. Anyway, happy reading!... maybe
*EDIT* Hey guys, so I made a mistake while writing these couple chapters because my dumbass forgot SueEllen is pregnant. Idk why exactly I didn't remember. I had to fix it ASAP because SueEllen is not the kind of person who gets hammered while aware she's pregnant. So yeah. Enjoy maybe? I'm sorry it kinda sucks, but I'll fix it when I finish the book and go back to do some revising.
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Josie's POV
They say that the more you do something, the easier it becomes.
So then why the fuck is it so much harder to get over the devil reincarnated this time around?
I've gone on for two months since the day he left, and there isn't a day that goes by without me thinking of him. It's not like I try to, and I don't think about him until I realize how long I've gone and then I start doing it again. And what sucks is that it'll be little discreet things that trick me too. Like a certain color blue, the way the sunset falls over the trees, the way the truck sounds when its wheels drive over a gravel road.
I wish he would have never come back.
I can't help but wonder what he's doing, what he's thinking. Yeah, I'll admit it. I want to know if he thinks of me.
I doubt it. I really do. There's no reason for him to, especially since he's got—what's her name?—Brooke. Fuck. Right.
"Gah!" I groan, pushing my hands into my face.
It's my one day off and I can't even enjoy it.
I've been lazing around on the couch all day, even though I was supposed to go meet the girls to go dancing about five minutes ago. I just don't have the mental energy to fake a brave face today. I just want to wallow in self-pity and cry.
And this is exactly what my father feared. He always knew that Colt and I were too dependent on each other. Well, I guess me more than him from the way that things turned out. I mean, I didn't even want my license because I knew he'd be around to drive me everywhere for fuck's sake. Had it not been my dad pushing me to become more independent, I don't know how I would've taken this. Not that my father didn't like Colt. He thought of him as a second child, but he always told me:
"Now you listen here, baby girl. One day, a man is going to come and ask you to marry him. You need to be prepared in case he becomes an asshole. You need a good job to fall back on, and you need your own damn license so you can run him over your goddamn self."
And I'd always listened to him, but I never once would have thought that it was ever going to happen, much less between Colt and me.
And then Colt did leave, and it was all my father could do to not say 'I told you so,' and though he was pissed at Colt, he never let me see it much. He was always there for me and understood that bashing Colt didn't make me feel any better, unlike my mother. Now that Colt's gone this time around, my mother has just been telling me what a piece of shit he turned out to be. It's hard for me to agree because he wasn't always like that, and it's hard to slander that good part of him that I knew once.
I look to my loyal dog, whose head is propped up on my thigh, and ruffle the space between his ears, smiling at him.
"Maybe I'll find someone to dance with tonight?" I tell him. He licks his nose and his eyebrows droop. "Yeah, probably not. I've gotta get up buddy."
I get dressed out of my lazy clothes and throw on a more appropriate dancing outfit, which just consists of a black tank top, my good cowboy boots, and distressed bootcuts with the brown rhinestone belt I'd bought myself for Christmas one year. Because I'm me, I wouldn't be able to go anywhere without my old camo baseball hat with the American flag on it. I hardly do my makeup, just going over my lids with a light shimmery shadow and my lashes with a couple of swipes of mascara.
For some reason, the girls have been avoiding Soda Pop like the plague, and I know Louise, the owner, is going to throw a fit the next time that she sees us. I mean we're practically regulars. We've been kinda bar hopping all over the area, even if SueEllen is pregnant and doesn't drink. Tonight, we're going to the next town over to a bar called The Blue Goose.
I arrive in my blue truck roughly a half-hour later, of course after some more procrastinating, and find the guys at a table close to both the bar and the dance floor.
I say my hellos to everyone, and Wes and June take to the dance floor where some line dance is happening.
"Now where in tarnation have you been?" Carrie Ann shouts up at me, jumping over Tommy to slap a hand on my shoulder. She's already wasted.
I try to hold back a smile at her drunkenness as I reply, "Traffic held me up." A little white lie isn't going to hurt anyone.
"Good! I almost thought you weren't coming," she says. She almost tips over, and Tommy has to grab her waist to steady her.
"If it wasn't so early, I'd have to take her home," he jokes.
I laugh and nod. "Who's on DD with me tonight?"
"Well, it was supposed to be this one." He gestures at SueEllen, who's slunk back in her chair like she's not here for it tonight. "I guess it's me now."
"I don't mind, Tommy. How many drinks have you had tonight? I can easily—"
"I've been nursing this beer since we got here a half-hour ago. Don't even worry about it. This is the first and the last," he assures, and I can't deny that I'm relieved that I don't have to drive everyone home myself.
"Thank you, Tommy. That really helps."
"I wouldn't mind if you had a couple beers. I can handle you lot." He smiles encouragingly.
"I appreciate the offer, pal, but that part of my life is officially over, I can assure you that."
He nods, shrugging. "If you say so."
"And I do," I laugh. I look around the place, comparing it to our Soda Pop. "This place is nice. I wish Soda Pop had a bigger dance floor like this, ya know?"
"Yeah. Hey, speaking of dancing, you should know that Carrie Ann invited someone to tag along tonight. I only just found out a few minutes before you got here," he admits hurriedly.
"How many times do I have to tell that I'm not looking for anyone right now? Who is it this time?"
He says nothing, but he juts his chin in the direction of the door, and I turn around with a roll of my eyes to see who she invited this time. My eyes bug out when I see who it is, and I whirl back around to face Tommy.
"She didn't," I hiss.
"She did. And he's on his way over now, so be nice."
I open my mouth so that I can grumble about Carrie Ann some more, but a panicked flash of Tommy's eye to someone over my shoulder shuts me up.
"Hey, Beau," Tommy greets Carrie Ann's brother with a fake cheery smile.
"Hey Tommy, hey Josie. It's been a while," he directs at me, sitting down right next to me.
I refrain from drowning myself in a toilet bowl and put on a cheery facade.
"Hi Beau. Yes, it has been a long time." I see Tommy wince out of the corner of my eye at my attitude, and unfortunately, Beau just doesn't see it yet.
"What's been new? I haven't seen you since a couple of Christmases ago. How've ya been?"
"Just peachy," I answer wryly, taking a sip of my water.
But of course, just like with most things, my tone flies right over his head. I almost feel bad for him, but I'm over Carrie Ann's stupid blind dates, and she should have known better than to try to set me up with the man who basically screwed me over the last time she set us up.
"That's good to hear." He leans on his elbows on the table. "I've been traveling all over the country, I don't know if Carrie Ann told you. I've also been to Canada and the UK for business."
"I think I'm going to find my wife for a line dance," Tommy interrupts.
My eyes widen at his abandonment and I shake my head frantically.
"Please no, don't go!" I mouth, panicking. "Don't you want to hear about Beau's travels with me?"
He looks guilty, but I see the amusement flaring in his stupid brown eyes. "As much as I'd love to, I'd like to dance with my wife more." He shrugs.
"Fuck. You."
He walks away to essentially pry his wife away from the other side of the table, and I watch as they start the next dance.
I turn back to Beau quickly. "Do you want to dance? This next song is supposed to be a good one!"
I don't even know what song is playing. Line dancing means no talking. If only he says yes...
"I don't know," he trails off, rubbing the back of his arm. "I've never been the lightest on my feet. Plus I'm sure you'd rather hear about my travels."
"As much as I'd like to hear all about your bragging, that's okay! I'm going to go dance!" I don't even wait for him as I rush toward the dance floor, settling myself between SueEllen and Wes, who sends me a questioning glance, jutting his head toward Beau. I shake my head in reply, silently telling him I don't want to talk about it. I glance back at Beau, who looks like he doesn't even understand the insult delivered.
Oh, the words Carrie Ann and I will be having tomorrow when she's sober.
The dance starts to "Good Time" by Alan Jackson, and I find that my thoughts about Beau fade away as I get more and more into the music. My heels dig into the floor and I stomp a little harder when the beat and dance call for it, giving out a little whoop.
This is just as fun as I remember.
I look back up at Wes, who smiles back down at me, shaking his butt goofily, and I respond by rolling my hips to the music. June smacks his ass, and he laughs as he turns to face her, and she turns her back on him to the rhythm of the music.
The song ends too quickly, and now I have to talk to Beau again. He comes up to me and wipes his brow, a light sheen of sweat perspiring from him.
He can't be seriously that out of shape for him to be sweating after one dance.
"That was fun," he says, and I can tell he's short of breath even if he's trying to appear macho and manly in front of me. "I didn't get to dance with you too much though. I think that SueEllen purposely stood in between you and me."
I seriously doubt that SueEllen even knew what she was doing if she really did that because of how out of it she's been, and how can he not see that I was the one who went to SueEllen and Wes? Is he stupid or something? It's not like I was very discreet about trying to get rid of him.
"Oh, I don't think—" Before I even get to finish my sentence, his phone rings, and he answers it in front of me without even excusing himself.
I blink, stunned that he so rudely did that. Crossing my arms, I don't even bother to hide my disdain toward him.
"Hello?" he asks. A smile breaks out on his face. "Ray, buddy! How have you been?... No, I'm not doing anything... Really?... I'll be there in a few hours!" He hangs up his phone and shoves it back in his pocket. "Look, Josie, this has been great, but I just got a call from a buddy in North Carolina and—"
"First of all, do not ever, ever cut me off so rudely again. Do you understand?" I cut in harshly. He blanches and nods. "Second of all, don't think of whatever poor excuse you were about to insult me with as a goodbye. Think of it as a chance to stop fucking bothering me, and if you weren't Carrie Ann's brother, I'd do a lot more than just verbally scold you like a damn child."
He just stands there in astonishment, trying to come up with a proper sentence or comeback.
"Didn't you hear me? That was your cue to go away," I instruct, pointing toward the door.
He does nothing but turn around to walk away.
I let my resolve crumble as I let out a heavy sigh.
Letting someone, especially a stupid guy, bother me after an encounter like that is so ridiculous, but I can't help it.
I uncross one arm, keeping the other wrapped around my body and head back to the table. After calling over a waiter, I give him my order and watch my friends on the floor. I laugh as SueEllen falls on her ass and as June practically falls over from laughing so hard.
"Hey baby, want to two-step your way to my house?"
I look up to see am unfortunately good looking sleazeball.
"I'd rather two-step off a cliff."
"Ouch."
I roll my eyes and return my attention to my friends.
"Bye now."
Tommy walks up to me, holding up an unsteady SueEllen.
"Is she okay?" I ask, rushing to her side and feeling her forehead.
"Yeah, she just needs some sleep. She was never this tired with Alan, but I guess every baby's different, right?"
Like I would know, but for the sake of Tommy, I smile brightly and nod.
"She'll be fine. Don't worry about coming back. Be with your wife tonight," I insist.
"No, I gave you my word. Plus, I'd have to deal with her wrath in the morning if she knew I left you stranded. I'll come straight back, okay?"
"I wish you wouldn't."
Tommy tosses his head with a snort, and together, we amble a sluggish SueEllen to their car.
"I think some Benedryl should work when you get home. It'll knock her out and she'll be fine till you get home in a few hours," I say, putting her seatbelt on as Tommy gets in the driver's seat.
"I'm sorry, Josie, I didn't mean to..." she trails off, running the back of her knuckles along my cheeks.
"Don't worry about it, girly. Go get some sleep."
"Tommy'll come... he'll come back," she slurs, falling asleep.
Before I close the door, I put the window down for Sue so she can get some fresh air. She's always loved the air blowing on her face while on a drive. I carefully watch her head as I close the door, and I lean in through the window to position her with Tommy's help so that her head won't bump against the door or window frame.
Looking over to Tommy, I gesture to his wife with my chin. "I'll call you when it looks like we're done here, okay? Just stay with her and make sure she's okay."
He nods, and I step away from the car, watching as he drives away before going back inside to sit at my table, waiting for my food.
A few minutes later after my food arrives, another ass comes with a stupid pick-up line.
"Hey beautiful, on a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight?"
I take a sip of my drink while he speaks, not looking up at him until he's done.
"North Korea."
This one doesn't even reply before leaving, and I can't say I'm sad about it. Another one-liner comes my way as I munch on a buffalo wing, and at this point, I'm about ready to leave my friends and go the fuck home.
Bobby stumbles over my way and flops onto his chair.
"You should be out there with us!"
"Somebody's gotta watch your backs," I answer, eating a fry. I don't even think he's noticed that SueEllen and Tommy left.
"You've gotten a lot of attention tonight. Any of 'em get lucky?" he slurs.
"Not even in their wildest dreams."
"Here comes another one. I wanna watch this," he rushes out enthusiastically, leaning forward.
My irritation grows, and I cross my arms, huffing.
"Perfect."
"I—" a new voice says, but I cut him off, choosing to get it over with quicker.
"I'm not interested." I don't look at him.
"Well Josie, that's just unfortunate."
I whip around to see a face I haven't seen in almost a decade.
"James? James Howard?" I gasp.
"Yes ma'am." He grins cheekily, and I can't help but smile back. James was Colt's football and basketball rival in high school from... damn. This town actually, Lincoln. He had a crush on SueEllen, but they never even went on a date because she ran out on him. I always thought he was a cool guy, and not just to mess with Colt.
"Pop a squat! We haven't seen each other in years! How ya been?"
"This isn't fun," I hear Bobby grumble. I pay no attention to him as he takes a swig of his beer and returns to his wife.
"I've been great actually. I heard the guys at the bar talking about a blonde hardass, and I had a feeling it was you," he chuckles. "Where's Colt? He dancing?"
I laugh along with him until he mentions Colt, and my smile becomes forced.
"Um, no, he's not here. We uh, we just divorced about two months ago," I admit, looking down and fiddling with my hands. I glance back up at James to see his face etched in shock.
"I'll be damned. I'm so sorry to hear that. I wouldn't have said anything if I knew. I mean, last I heard you guys had just gotten married."
I fake a smile. "Don't sweat it. You couldn't have known."
"I guess not. Well, I thought I'd come over to say hi, but I guess I've ruined things for me now so I'll—"
I grab onto his forearm to prevent him from standing back up.
"Don't be ridiculous. Or corny. How have you been? I heard you got a full ride to UGA for football. How was that?"
"It was great actually. I thought about going pro in the NFL, but after playing college football and getting a taste of having everyone in your face all the damn time, I had to pass."
"What do you do now?"
"I'm an international negotiator, but I flip houses when I can find the time."
My jaw drops. "Goddamn, that's awesome! Wow, I'd have never even thought of that."
"Yeah, it's pretty cool. I get to travel all over the world and get paid for it," he chuckles, "I didn't think I'd get so lucky in life."
I can't help the genuine grin that graces my lips. "I'm really happy for you, James."
"Yeah, it's a good job, but it's been hard finding someone. No girl in her right mind wants a man that's gone for four days of the week. I mean, I wouldn't either."
"I'm sure you'll find her. Who knows, she could be a French model just waiting for her prince," I joke.
"Or she could be a small town southern belle waiting to be swept off her feet," he replies, taking a swig of his beer.
My eyebrows raise. "Smooth, but not likely. No man in his right mind wants a woman who works 12 hours, six days a week."
"I hardly doubt that, but in the apparent case of having no competition, I'll take those odds."
"Is that right?"
"Yes, ma'am." He grins. "You're refreshing to talk to."
"Corny."
"But true. Most girls would've heard gone for four days a week and ran right away."
"That's because I know that this—" I motion to between the two of us. "—isn't leading anywhere."
"Ouch. How's that?"
"Because I'm not looking for romance right now. Recent divorcee remember?"
"I do, but you look too sad to not have a little fun right now."
I open my mouth to hit him with a snarky comeback, but I realize he's right. I deserve some fun, and I'll be damned if I don't snag an opportunity when it's right in front of my face to just let go.
"Okay, and what's in it for me?"
"You'll just have to wait and see."
I smile mischievously.
"I can live with that."
--
So. I kinda like this chapter.
Josie's life is turning around, huh? Don't worry, we'll get to see where it goes in the next chapter.
We met Beau, Carrie Ann's brother! He was rude. And several other greasers. The audacity of them.
I think that this'll be the third? update this month. Am I on a roll or what? I'm going to be honest and say that I've been thinking about doing a prequel for this book. Would you guys be interested? Obviously, it would tell the tale of Josie and Colt, but it's been an idea in my head for a while now to write it out. Let me know if you guys would be up for it.
As always, let me know what you think by commenting, I love each of them, and vote if you like it.
Till next time!
XX Blondie XX