Slowly, I wake from my deep slumber. I didn't mean to fall asleep, I just wanted to procrastinate in self-pity for a little. But, you know how it is; laying in bed, bored out of your mind, kind of sad. Sleep is just too tempting.
I can hear rummaging, but like someone is trying to do it as quietly as possible. I rub my eyes as I roll over, confused.
"Oh sorry, did I wake you?" A sweetly concerned voice comes from a girl standing next to the chest of drawers on the other side of the room, a pile of neatly folded clothes in her hands.
This must be my roommate. Sorry, cabin mate. She looks OK, I guess. She's dainty, elegant even, with her bright blonde bob that just passes her chin and cute, floaty summer dress. Her side fringe is pinned behind one ear. She looks like someone I can live with for six weeks.
"Oh, um, no. It was just a power nap." I smile nervously.
"I'm Zoe." She beams, placing her pile of clothes into her top drawer.
"Cassie," I reply, climbing out of my bed and pulling my sandals on, trying not to think about how embarrassing it is that my cabin mate arrived while I was asleep.
"D'you know where Jen is?" I ask as I check my phone, it's 4:32 p.m. OK, it was longer than a power nap. Jen might be wondering what I'm doing, but most likely she'll have forgotten she asked me to drop by.
"Probably in her cabin. Want me to show you where it is?" Zoe asks kindly.
I shake my head and offer her a sincere smile. "No, thanks. I've been here before."
"OK. See you at mess time." Zoe turns back to the suitcase on her unmade bed and starts picking out more clothes.
Mess time? Robbie said that earlier as well. Is that what they call it when we eat now? I mean, I imagine it's hilarious to the kids, but do we really need to say it to each other? I guess it's a force of habit now. Especially for the counsellors who are back again this year.
I climb down the steps of the cabin and head through the counsellor's camp towards Jen's cabin. The excitement from earlier has worn off the others, now sat on the steps of their cabins, talking in small groups. I'm kind of surprised by the number of counsellors, well, the lack of. I haven't been to the camp for a while, but to me, it doesn't seem like there is enough of us.
At the Counsellors ONLY! sign I turn right and jump up onto Jen's porch. Her cabin is slightly bigger than ours, but only because it has spare rooms. The area that would be where counsellors sleep is her office/kitchen area. Behind her desk is a doorway that leads to the bathroom, bedrooms and the counsellor's laundry room.
"Hiya." I smile, walking in through the open door.
Jen looks up from the documents she's filling out and smiles. "Cassie, have you met your cabin mate yet?" She asks, shoving the papers into a drawer. Mum would have a fit if she saw that. I nod in response and slump into the chair in front of her desk.
"Zoe. She's a lovely girl, it's her second year as a counsellor, but she's stayed as a camper with her parents for so many years. Between you and me, she's the best of the best. I don't know how I'd run this place without her."
I think my aunt is being a tad dramatic.
"So what can I do for you, dear?"
I stare at Jen for a second, she has definitely forgotten she asked me to stop by. "You told me to come to pick up some T-shirts and my folder."
"Oh! Of course! Completely slipped my mind." She chuckles, moving towards a cardboard box on the window sill beside her. "Pick a few, any colour, it doesn't matter." She places the box on the desk.
I pull a grey one out and look at it. The centre of the shirt is a black cartoon willow tree. Writing curves around the image reading Camp Little Willow. I remember the first time Jen ever had these tops printed, how excited we all were to open the first box. I still have the green one I picked out that day, it's just a bit too small to wear now.
I rummage around in the box a bit more and pull out two of each colour, I think they're all around my size.
"Mess time's soon, want to help me set up the Great Mess Hall?" Jen asks. I know it isn't a question, and no is definitely on my mind, but I nod anyway. "Oh and here's your folder." She pulls a large white binder from the shelf behind her and places it on top of the t-shirts in my hands. Great. Can't wait to have time to read this.
I slip a yellow top over my tank top and grimace, it seems way too bright. Hopefully, it's so bright that no one will be able to see my frown.
"I'll take that as a yes," Jen says and we start towards the, very aptly named, Great Mess Hall which is opposite the counsellor's camp.
Jen pushes the doors open and a musty smell hits me. It won't take long for wafts of delicious food to cover it up though. I stare at the room and smile; nothing has changed. Everything inside is wooden. There are ten long tables altogether, five on each side of the room. They're made of light oak and are handcrafted; they're gorgeous, but clash horrendously with the dark log floor.
Three out of the four walls are mostly glass to let in as much natural light as possible. If you sit in the right position you get a good view of the lake.
The back wall is the only one made of logs cut down the middle, just like the cabins. In the middle of the wall is a serving hatch which gives a glimpse of the silver kitchen behind the double doors on the left side of the wall.
In front of the serving hatch is a wooden counter with a silver top that will be holding food in an hours time. It stretches from almost one side of the room to the other and reminds me a little too much of school dinners.
I hide my T-shirts and binder behind the serving hatch in front of the kitchen while Jen makes her way throught the double doors. I hear her greet Toby and Alex, the father and son cook duo who manage to feed the camp three times a day.
Jen wheels out a silver trolley with all the different sized plates and pushes it past me to the start point of the serving counter. She flicks the wheel brakes down and places her hands on her hips, smiling. "Job one done." She pauses, a look I've never seen on her face before settles. "So how's your mum doing?" Jen asks, quieting her voice for what I think is probably the first time ever.
"Um, she's OK. . . You just saw her." I shrug.
"No, I just saw the Claire who puts on a brave face and doesn't let anyone know what's really going on. I know it's the anniversary soon, and I was, well, I'll be honest, Cassie, I was surprised to hear you wanted to spend the whole summer here."
I gulp, my throat suddenly feeling tight. I can't tell my aunt it was Mum's idea to send me here, but I can't think of a good reason I'd want to be here and not with mum on the anniversary.
"It might be good to keep my mind busy this year," I pause to think about how Mum has been these last few months. "And Mum's OK. I mean, yeah this year is going to be tough, but she's strong. I'm not worried." I smile wearily.
Alex steps out of the kitchen with a large woven basket full of freshly made bread rolls. My stomach rumbles as their fresh smell drifts past me. We smile at each other as he passes, he used to hang around the camp sometimes while his dad was in the kitchen when we were younger. It feels weird to see him again, especially in a cook's uniform.
"Good, Claire wouldn't want you to worry about her," Jen replies, grabbing a roll as soon as Alex is back in the kitchen. "I have to go and talk to the first year counsellors, but Zoe and the boys in the cabin across from you will be in to help soon."
I groan internally. "You're letting Crash do set up?" I don't mean to sound so, well, bitchy.
Jen raises an eyebrow at me and then smirks. "You've met Crash then?"
"Met is putting it lightly," I mumble, tearing open a packet of napkins from the windowsill.
"I can imagine." Jen laughs. "And cabins across from each other are normally partnered up so at least you'll have Robbie, he's a good'un too. You can come to the talk if you want? But I'm just going over what's in the folder for the younger counsellor's who are probably bricking it ."
I decide not to tell her that I am also, as she put it, bricking it. "It's OK, I'll help set up. I'm going to read the folder tonight." I lie.
Jen nods and heads out to the hall. I start to lay napkins out just as the wooden doors fly open and Crash somersaults into the room. "Did you miss me?" He winks before colliding with one of the benches.
I roll my eyes. "It's like you try to crash into things," I mutter before turning back to finish laying napkins on the table.
"He wishes. He's just naturally clumsy." Robbie laughs. He picks up another pack of napkins and starts on the tables across the room.
"Hey! I can hear you! Why do I keep coming back here, all I get is abuse."
"OK, drama queen," Zoe smirks as she brings out a platter of piping hot sausages from the kitchen. Within seconds the plastic lid has steamed up and my stomach growls again. "So you guys have already met?" Zoe adds, looking slightly upset that she doesn't get to introduce us all.
"You'll never guess how." I roll my eyes as we hear a loud thump and a 'my bad' from the kitchen.
"Oh, you'll love this, very original," Robbie smirks at me from the other side of the room.
"He fell out of the tree I was sitting under, straight into the lake," I tell Zoe as she starts laying napkins opposite me.
"Oooh, that is original." Zoe laughs, creating a dimple in her right cheek.
"I do try." Crash yells from the kitchen. I imagine him batting his eyelashes and grinning from ear to ear. How he can take so much pleasure in his clumsiness is lost on me.
"Where's Josh?" I ask, suddenly realising that he didn't come in with the others.
"He's only sixteen, a first year counsellor, so he's at the re-cap with Jen," Robbie explains as he moves on to the next table while I've barely covered half of mine. "Why aren't you there?" He says it without judgement.
I shrug. "Perks of being Jen's niece."
"Damn. I could do with those perks," Crash mumbles as he brings out a huge glass bowl full of salad.
"So what brings you to Little Willow?" Zoe asks as she moves onto the next table.
"I thought my aunt could use some help, seeing as Ellie and Caleb haven't come back for the summer." I shrug, avoiding all eye contact. I like these guys, but I don't need anyone knowing the real reason I'm here. I don't want their pity.
"I used to room with Ellie, but I already prefer you," Zoe replies, sounding a little guilty about it. "Oh God, that sounds so horrible!" She squeals.
I smile at her. "No, I get it. I never liked Ellie and she's my cousin." Ellie has always been disinterested in the camp, even as a counsellor; obviously not by choice. Mum said she would blatantly go across the lake to the holiday retreat to use their gym and lay by their pool.
Secretly, I wanted to be her when I was growing up. Not for her looks or her friends. I was jealous of her having a dad and a brother. A family.
But, I'm happy that she's not here. She never exactly made my time at camp fun. One year she put mud and worms in my bed after Grandpa taught us to fish and I was the only one to catch anything.
"Hey now, Ellie wasn't that bad." Robbie scoffs, finishing the napkins on his side of the room.
Zoe rolls her eyes and exhales loudly. "Robbie had a crush on your cousin."
"We kissed!"
"She kissed your cheek after rejecting your drunken exclaim of love for her. It's not the same thing." Zoe fires back, clearly annoyed at Robbie for being interested in my cousin. Is it because she doesn't like Ellie, or because maybe she likes Robbie? I don't ask, I'll have plenty of time to figure it our over the summer.
We finish setting out the dining hall and food just before the families start to float through the doors in drips and drabs. The camp has room for thirty families, and even though only a few of them are here already, the room suddenly seems to burst into life. I stand next to Zoe behind the serving counter, helping the kids choose what they want. Crash and Robbie pour drinks at the other end of the table.
The families get to eat an hour before the campers so that when the kids arrive next week, we won't all be eating at once. The last of the families finish up and leave their plates on the trolley beside the bin for us to clean later.
Jen and the newbies enter just as the last family leaves. "Once a week two cabins will be on set up/clean up duty in here. On the other days, we have a catering company volunteer a few of their employees. And normally the cooks, Toby and Alex, will be serving since you'll be assisting the children.
Breakfast is from ten to eleven, lunch is one to two and dinner is six-thirty to seven-thirty. After dinner, the kids get some time to play and then they need to be in bed for eight. But, this is all in your folders so take a seat and enjoy your dinner. If you have any questions, my door is always open, there are lots of experienced counsellors around too." Jen beams at us and then disappears out the doors.
Crash is the first to grab a plate and start piling it high with hot dogs, ignoring the salad. I roll my eyes, take one hot dog and some bits of salad and join the rest of the group at the closest table.
"So how long have you been here?" Josh asks Robbie as I sit down between Crash and Zoe.
"Oh, don't worry Josh, Francesca has told us all your embarrassing childhood stories," Robbie smirks as Josh looks away, giving evils to a girl sitting across the room who shares his brown curls and tanned skin.
"Robbie and I have been coming here ever since it opened, our families liked to holiday together. Then when it changed into a kids camp and Jen needed counsellors, Robbie signed up straight away, I had to wait a year to be old enough," Zoe says to the table, mainly for Josh and mine's benefit. I make a mental note that Robbie and Zoe know each other outside of camp. Maybe they're related, but I'm too shy to ask.
"Yeah, can't keep us away." Robbie jokes, shoving the last part of his hot dog into his mouth.
"Don't say it like that! You love it here!" Zoe chastises him from beside me. For a moment I thought she was going to tell him not to eat like a pig.
Robbie nods. "I guess it is a big part of my life and being a counsellor is awesome. It just sucks that Jen had to introduce the role because of the retreat across the lake."
Two years ago, Jefferson Lakes Holiday Retreat opened its doors for the first summer and since then numbers at the camp have dwindled. It's why Jen had to change half into a kids camp. The idea was inspired by her gap year in America when she was eighteen. She worked as a camp counsellor. And even though it's not the done thing in England, she had to do something to try and get people interested in the camp again.
The doors swing open and Joe walks in, stopping at our table on the way to the serving counter.
"Hey, Joe," Zoe greets him.
"Hey, how's my brother been? Not too bossy I hope." He chuckles as Robbie's cheeks colour.
Suddenly it clicks in my head why Robbie looked so familiar earlier. He and Joe share honey-brown hair, hazel eyes and a square jawline. They could be twins if it wasn't for Joe's blonde stubbly beard.
I pop the last part of my hot dog into my mouth and smile, feeling warmth spread across me; the food is really good here. Toby is Jen's friend from when they were kids, and very handily also a five-star chef. The rest of the year he teaches culinary at a university.
"We set up, why do we have to clean up too?" Josh moans through a mouthful of hot dog. I'd like to point out that he didn't set up, but I'm with him on this one. Set up and clean up? Urgh.
"That's the spirit," Robbie replies sarcastically, chucking a dusting cloth at him. "We only have to do it once a week. Besides, it's one of the most important jobs."
I look up, surprised by Robbie. Only minutes ago he was joking around while we ate. I thought he was here just for the fun of it, but he seems so serious now.
Josh says nothing in response, he just shoves the last of his meal into his mouth and starts to take stacks of plates into the kitchen to be cleaned.
"You're pretty serious about it here," I say casually to Robbie as I pick up used cups and stack them onto a trolley.
"Oh yeah, it's a great job, and I'm hoping if I can prove myself to Jen this year, she'll promote me to Team Leader next year. It normally goes to one of the older counsellors, but I have a good feeling about it," Robbie replies, not glancing up from the table we've cleared. "I'm starting a Business Management course after the summer, so it would be a bonus," he explains. "What about you?"
"I don't know," I reply honestly.
I haven't really given it much thought even though I'll need to apply to universities a few months after school starts. I'm only just managing my classes, and I'm not sure I'm going to get my predicted grades. I only stayed on for A-Levels because I didn't know what else to do. I'll probably end up going to university for something, I just have no idea what I want that to be yet.
"Well, uni isn't the only option out there. I'm sure you'll find your calling." Robbie smiles as he wipes down a table. I force myself to smile back while doubting his words. "You never know, you might really like it here." He shrugs.
"I've always liked it here," I say, emptying a half-full cup out of the window.
"I mean counselling. You know, helping out here, it's more rewarding than you think. It's not just a summer job, for a lot of us camp is a second home. I guarantee you'll be back next year."
Next summer seems so long away, we haven't even started this one yet.
As I wheel the full trolley into the kitchen, I turn the volume on the radio up so that we can hear it while cleaning. I let a smile settle on my face as Robbie's words sink in. His enthusiasm must be infectious because as I watch Zoe and Crash dance around with the brooms, I decide that being on clean up duty isn't so bad after all.
Maybe Robbie's right. Maybe I will find my calling this summer. Maybe I won't. Either way, it's not going to be as bad as I thought.