What does it mean to love?
I don't know, the only love I have ever known was something you had to work hard to be worthy of.
No matter how bloody I got trying to work with bare hands, I was never worthy.
I was always left in the shadows.
Behind like I was nothing.
I would cry myself asleep thinking where I went wrong. Asking anyone that would listen to help me be worthy.
I would pray everynight that maybe in the morning I would wake up as a different person. Maybe I wouldnt be me anything and anyone was better than me.
Because I was worthless.
I was nothing.
I would wake up crying, because nothing had changed.
I was still me...
Still the same disgusting pile of trash I was yesterday.
Does it mean that I will never feel love?
Does it mean I don't deserve love?
Does it mean I am not worth love?