or "Pansy"
-
-
10.25 am
"So- umm, I guess this is goodbye," Mike said when they were finally standing at the door of Will's next class.
"Yeah," Will muttered, feeling awkward again. They had talked a little during class, but he really didn't want him to leave. Sadly, Mike smiled and turned away.
"Wait, Mike!" Will called, and so Mike did.
"You forgot your airpod," Will smiled, pulling the small white object out of his ear and handing it to Mike.
Mike stepped forward to grab it, and Will felt a shiver of excitement as his fingers fluttered over his open palm.
"So, I'll see you later!" Mike called, a small wave, another hint of a smile- and he was gone down the hall.
Will sighed, and stepped into the classroom- where he was immediately attacked by Jane and Max.
"How was it?? Do you like Hawkins High???"
"Oh my god, you had Mr. Brown- he's soo dreamy, isn't he??"
They squealed in his ear, making his head spin.
"Relax, guys!" He laughed, "where are we sitting?"
"I called dibs on sitting next to you, next class Jane is-" Max chatted, leading him to a seat in the second to last row.
Max sat down in the chair next to him, whole Jane took residence in the row behind them. She leaned almost all the way over the desk to hear what they were saying.
"So how was it?" Jane asked, and they both stared at him with anticipation.
"It was English class..." Will said, laughing slightly, "What do you want me to say? that it was world-changing spectacular?"
"You're such a debbie downer!" Jane sighed, flicking the back of his head, "I meant more how were the kids, do I have anyone to kill?"
Will shrugged. "No one really talked to me, except Mike and this guy Lucas?"
Max nodded, "yeah, makes sense. Lucas is really awesome, isn't he?"
"I only just met him," Will cocked his head at her. Jane laughed.
"Yeah, Max just has a giant crush on him so..." Max turned to her, red-faced and a furious look in her eyes.
"Oh, he's that guy!" Will said, but before Max could respond a teacher entered the room and math class started. Jane was forced to lean back, out of earshot, and Max and Will were left to talk in hushed voices.
"Was Mike nice? I like him a lot, but he can be a bit of an ass sometimes," Max asked.
"Umm- yeah, he was nice," Will blushed for no reason whatsoever, "But I met him already, remember?"
Max slapped her forehead.
"Right!! He's that guy at the party who-" she started, but Will looked around at the packed classroom and shushed her, nodding.
"Oh my god, we have to tell him. It'll be so funny!" Max said, and Will almost had a miniature heart attack.
"DON'T YOU DARE!" He whisper yelled. Max looked taken aback- looking at Jane, incredulous.
"Shit, chill. I won't if you don't want me to! " She said, but Will wasn't taking any chances.
"Promise??" He held her eyes. She nodded.
"good." He leaned back in his chair, letting his heart slow.
"But maybe we can whip Hazel out again, just to confuse him You were such a pretty girl!" Max nudged his shoulder.
Will tried to hold the smile in, but he couldn't help himself.
"Ugh, shut up!" He said. She smiled back.
"I'm glad you're not totally hating your first day at school with us. Now, can you shut up already so I can listen to what Ms. Gonzalez is saying? God! you talk so much." She turned away from him, and he laughed quietly to himself.
He leaned his head on his arms. He really did miss that feeling of being completely free. He had never felt it before that night, and didn't think he would ever feel it again. For god's sake, he couldn't even wear a hair clip to school today! He was wearing glasses simply so people wouldn't notice him as much!!
He hated that he was such a coward.
1.33 pm
Will stood at the very back of the gym, nervously scanning the crowds of boys around him. He felt very uncomfortable in the gym clothes he was given: a yellow shirt that was much too long and a pair of blue shorts that kept almost falling. He felt like he was wearing a stack of rags, so to better the outfit a bit he tucked the shirt into the pants.
The boys around him were gathered in small groups, all wearing the gym uniform but none that looked open for Will to join, He was sure he saw some of them send him weird looks. He pushed his glasses back up his nose and crossed his arms tightly on his chest.
He hated that the boy and girl PE classes were separate... So much testosterone in one place tended to make boys even meaner than usual. He wished he could be with Jane and Max...
He tried finding Mike, or even Lucas, but the crowd of boys dressed identically overpowered him. He sighed again, tightening his arms. He hated gym, and he hated being so alone. It was the reason he had left his school.
"Right, three laps around the gym! go!" The coach, a buff middle aged man, called. Slowly, the boys started running and Will had no choice but to join them. He jogged slowly, trying to stick to the very edges of gym.
"Hey, who's that?"Will heard a voice behind him. He turned to see two boys, both brown haired and kind of muscular, looking straight at him. They were still far away, but he turned his gaze away anyway. They were talking about him.
"Some new kid," The second boy answered.
"Why's his shirt like that? Only girls do that tucking shit," The first boy said.
"Hey, boy! What's your name?" He called loudly, but Will kept his gaze fixed ahead. He knew these kids, his old school was filled with them, and he wasn't about to be dragged into a fight with one. He was starting to get an idea of who these boys were: judging from Jane and Max's stories, they had to be Troy and James.
"Fucking ignoring me? Who does that fag think he is anyway?" The second boy laughed at his remark.
That word again- fag. The very word that made him scared to wear a hair clip or any clothes he actually liked. The word that made his stomach turn, even though it was true.
He had heard it all his life, it was almost a daily thing. He didn't understand what it was about him that exuded such gay vibes, he was always dressed so neutrally. He didn't think he acted any differently than any other boy, why were the first insults thrown him always gay slurs?
He didn't even know these kids, how did they already know the secret that took him years to discover?
It's not like he was ashamed he was gay- but he definitely did not want everybody to know. He didn't like that somehow everyone always knew.
He started running a bit faster, not really knowing why- but suddenly he felt something hard against his shoulder and he tumbled to the ground, scraping his knee painfully.
"Welcome to Hawkins High, pansy!" One of the boys, the one who had bumped into him, laughed wickedly as his friend and him sped into another lap.
Will had to stop the tears of humiliation that were stinging in his eyes. Here we go again.
He pulled himself up, ignoring his aching knee, and started running again. He looked straight ahead, but couldn't a stop a tear from rolling down his cheek.
Without even really noticing it, he un-tucked the shirt.