Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Ah, it was so hard for Seokjin to focus! No, not to focus on studying, or reading, but to focus on getting rid of the excitement he was hiding beneath his many layers of warm clothing.
He sat there beside (Y/N)'s empty seat as be stared at the book pages blankly; Seokjin had drifted into one of his daydreams or was it one of his fantasies? It was hard to tell now but he did not care. But no matter how prettily his head had painted them, it could be viewed as grotesque by other people. A strong sense of pride overcame him, like a gentle blanket wrapping his slender frame.
Seokjin felt like he was doing the world justice, doing the world and fellow citizens of South Korea a favor by his secret deeds that only him and the ruler in the white clouds knew about. And because he is able to do such things, he often viewed himself as God's helper, or even as equal as the mighty saint high in the clouds. He felt like he was a subject to a reign of law. Every action he did, he believed was good in God's loving eyes. It had an inevitable and automatic effect in a long chain of causes, an effect which was independent of the will of any deity.
There no room for the concept of 'sin' when it came to Seokjin, he was justified, others were not.
His mild fantasies helped to pass the time and he wasn't one for entertaining himself with optimism. It was better to be prepared for tonight.
Seokjin let a shaky breath as he cautiously turned his head toward the direction of (Y/N)'s lovely, vibrant giggle. No one in the classroom was paying any mind to him, nothing new. Good. He spotted (Y/N) across the classroom, two rows away as well, chatting with a few of her friends. Or acquaintances. Seokjin wasn't sure but he also didn't care, he didn't know them and he didn't care to. (Y/N) was sitting with them, giggling about nonsense. Professor Cha had ended class early and some students stood behind to study, and some left. The only reason that (Y/N) was still there was because she was waiting on Seokjin, she was going to spend the night with him after all and he was her ride there.
Seokjin wasn't doing anything for (Y/N) to be waiting on him actually, he was just sitting there in his seat. He wasn't doing anything. He thought that he just needed some extra time to reflect and go over everything before he finally brings (Y/N) over. Mentally prepare himself.
He had worked really hard, really hard on the room that he would keep her in for as long as he wanted. A lot of sweat, time, and money was put into his work.
Seokjin was fortunate enough to have a basement in his home. Though it was a small space it was very useful in severing bodies, wrapping and keeping the parts he liked to put in his freezer and cleaning bloody instruments; but it just wasn't good enough to keep (Y/N) down there. The only way to get to the basement was through the trapdoor-like rectangular door on the floor of his bedroom closet so if he just left (Y/N) down there, someone could hear her and he could have (Y/N) taken away from him forever.
So to prevent that and to prevent (Y/N) from even attempting to escape, Seokjin decided to make a secret room within the basement.
Seokjin had demolished a part of one of the walls and dug out a hole in which he successfully covered up with two decently sized bookshelves. If he pulled back the bookshelves, the hole he make shifted would lead to a very small concrete door and the concrete door would eventually lead to two sets of chestnut brown, wooden doors. Behind the last wooden door would eventually lead up to the room that was only about six square meters. It was like a bunker, but far smaller. Despite the room practically being underground at that point, he also had soundproofed the walls and placed multiple locks on the wooden doors just to be safe. It took Seokjin roughly an hour just to get to the six square meter room alone because of how many locks he puts on the door. However, he's been practicing for two months straight so he's gotten better and faster with getting to the room and securing it back up afterwards before leaving.
Seokjin had all of tonight's events planned out already but..he still was unsure how he would render (Y/N) unconscious! Seokjin thought about hitting (Y/N) in the back of the head with one of his crowbars or maybe even a hammer? But what if he happened to hit her a little too hard and fractured her skull? What if he accidentally caused her massive internal bleeding? Head trauma? Brain damage? He could accidentally kill her if he hits too hard, and she could start fighting if he doesn't hit hard enough! Should he inject her with some anesthetics he stole? Ah, but what if she starts fighting him and Seokjin can't insert the needle properly? Should he just hold a pillow or a hand cloth over her mouth and nose until she passes out? But what if (Y/N) is not unconscious for a long enough time?
Ah, Seokjin had everything planned out expect this! One of the most important parts in his plan was missing!
Worrisome thoughts began to flood into Seokjin's mind. What if things don't go as planned tonight? Nothing but bad things have happened today, nothing!
First it was that stupid homeless cat that broke into his home from the kitchen window, then it was the broken plate that caused glass to shatter everywhere. Seokjin had misplaced his contacts, JiHye threw her coffee on him, and lastly, he was really late for class today.
Should he even do this today? Should he wait just one more day? Wait, why is he even second guessing himself? Why is he so nervous all of a sudden?? Or was it excitement? Both?
'Fuck, Seokjin get it together! You've been waiting five years for this moment in particular.' He told himself.
Seokjin sighed as he glanced over to a nearby window, and watched at the tiny snowflakes fall while some stuck to the window. The little and big snowflakes danced in the pale sun light, like a choreographed ballet dance conducted by the freezing yet gentle wind. What lies beneath those snowflakes floating down gently from heaven to earth? Where did these white angels originate? When? Was it heaven speaking to him?
Seokjin believed that the cold snow outside was a sign, a positive sign! It surely was the silent encouragement for him to go through with what he orginally had planned for tonight.
Seokjin believed that this was God's way of transmitting his motivating energy to him. Seokjin believed that the purpose of his existence was to create unity between God because unity achieved on God's terms would annihilate Seokjin's identities, Seokjin's ego, Seokjin's desires and needs. That's why he was better and smarter than everybody else, that's why he was the only one able to see how people really are. And because of this, Seokjin believed that (Y/N) was God's gift to him. Therefore, she was not allowed to get out of the dangerous waters she had unknowingly tested. He believed that (Y/N)'s purpose was to allow Seokjin to continue further with his sadistic thoughts, take his actions further and experiment more. (Y/N) was Seokjin's reward, he believed, and he had been eager to claim his prize for quite some time.
So what if some bad things happened today? Snow had the ability to cover over the impurities of today and reminded Seokjin of (Y/N)'s purity. 'The snow is actually heaven speaking to me,' Seokjin thought. 'Speaking to me through (Y/N)'s purity, speaking to me gently and gradually on God and my shared terms. God's encouraging me.'
Okay, okay, the plan stays. Nothing is going to change and he'll just learn how to be flexible with it if he needs to.
Seokjin forced the subconscious smile to disappear as he blinked and turned away from the snowy window. He gathered all of his belongings before standing from his seat and silently made his way over to where (Y/N) was. All the laughter and chatter came to a stop when the tall, handsome young man approached their small circle of members. "Ready to go (Y/N)-ah?" Seokjin chirped, pushing the frame of his glasses up slightly before sliding his bare hand into his coat pocket.
"Oh, yeah! Sure," (Y/N) nodded as she slung one of the bag's straps over her shoulder. "I'll see you guys on Monday." She said to the group she was previously talking with. Seokjin could only smirk at the false claim she made, little did she know what was really in store.
Once (Y/N) had all of her things, her and Seokjin walked together side by side conversing softly. Dinner was mentioned, and Seokjin happily replied with the thoughtful remark that he was going to make dinner for the both of them. And he said it was a surprise, but he was confident that (Y/N) would like it, love it even.
Seokjin's words made her and her empty stomach eager to get to Seokjin's place.
Once they reached Seokjin's clean car, he quickly unlocked it and took (Y/N)'s bags from her gloved hands and placed them neatly and carefully in the back seat then proceeded to open and hold the passenger door for his lover. (Y/N) eagerly jumped into the comfy seat and pulled the seatbelt over her chest before securing it appropriately. Once (Y/N) was situated, Seokjin closed the door and hurried into the car himself.
While gazing straight ahead Seokjin's large hands stroked the sides of the black steering wheel, and listened to the almost soundless radio singing. Seokjin's right foot gently applied pressure down onto the gas pedal and proceeded to drive out of the half empty parking lot and onto the busy roads of Seoul.
(Y/N)'s ankles and knees touched whilst her gloved hands rested delicately on her lap. Her spine straight against the black seat with her pretty (e/c) eyes focusing straight ahead. 'She's sitting so elegantly, politely. What a doll.' Seokjin thought as he constantly tapped his long, skinny index and middle fingers on his steering wheel.
It's really quiet..Seokjin's car engine was quiet too, too quiet. (Y/N) felt like she could hear herself breathe even over the soft feminine, sing-song voices playing on the radio. (Y/N) placed her hand on her kneecaps, and groped them as her head tilts down. Her (e/c) eyes look into her lap as she blinked.
Seokjin is really good at driving, (Y/N) mentally commented. His turns were so sharp, and clean too. Ah..but his speed was a bit out of control at the moment.
(Y/N) remained quiet, but her right hand slipped off from her lap and instead held tightly onto the side of her side.
She turned her head to face Seokjin, determined to finally say something about his speed and recklessness behind the wheel. But her words were trapped in her throat when her heart sunk into the pit of her stomach. That state she saw Seokjin in had startled her, and she immediately found herself sinking and trying to shell away from the world.
Why..was Seokjin smiling like that? She's never seen him smile like that. 'Why is he doing that? What's so funny?' She pondered. It was (Y/N)'s very first time seeing Seokjin smiling like an excited child, but she'd be lying to herself if she said that it didn't make him look..scary.
'What is going on in that head of his to make him smile such a smile?' (Y/N) thought as she quickly looked down at her knees. She felt uncomfortable, and felt annoyed with herself for feeling that way around her best friend. Seokjin was a quiet sweetheart, in her eyes. He's probably just having a conversation in his head and found something funny, everyone does that.
(Y/N) ignored the uneasiness that was overwhelming her senses, but she couldn't ignore the curiosity of what was making Seokjin smile like that, maybe he'll tell her when they get to his house.
Seokjin let out a blissful sigh as he lulled his head to the side, smile still spread across his plump lips.
"What?" (Y/N) hesitated.
"Ah, I don't know, you're just.." He paused. "You're like a tiny, delicate songbird that has the prettiest (e/c) eyes." 'that I want to poke out so I can gorge and drown in soju.'
A sudden warmth hit (Y/N)'s cheeks, painted them a peachy pink as she shyly giggled from the random compliment. "O-Oh..! Thank you, Jinnie."
'You're just so damn innocent, and I want to ruin you, I want to ruin you so bad.'
"Of course."