25.
Emotional Outbursts
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Avalon snuck back into her comfy bed. She was exhausted. She took in a deep breath and got a whiff of the apple incense sticks Dorcas had kept in their Dormitory since day one.
The smell of home, she thought closing her eyes. It was empty, everyone was still in the Great Hall eating, unaware as to what had been happening hours prior while they were in their last class of the day.
Stormy had been set with the task of keeping her friends away so she could rest, but she couldn't. Her mind was running a million miles an hour analysing everything that had happened that day.
Rhea Cain and all her associates had been taken to Azkaban. Apparently with all of the evidence she and Regulus had collected and their testimony's she could be put away for a very long time.
Regulus.
She remembered the last conversation she had with him when they were in the Hospital Wing
"Ava please."
"Save it," she snapped, she didn't need this.
"Let me explain," he pleaded.
"Explain? How on earth do you plan to come up with an excuse that could possibly justify you being a Death Eater. A murderer! "She yelled the last part as it suddenly came crashing down on her just how serious this really was. "Merlin Reg, how could you?"
"They would have killed me," he said.
Tears welled up in her eyes as she muttered, "there are worse things than death."
"Are there?" he gulped.
"Yeah there is. Death is inevitable, inescapable even. Why live in fear of something that's going to happen no matter how much you try and stop it."
"That's the problem," he inhaled, "it's permanent, once you die that's it. There's no more fixing the mistakes you've made, there's no more saying perhaps I shouldn't have done that and making up for it. It's over and you're buried deep in the ground, just like everyone's perception of you."
"You spend your whole life running from death and he'll be determined to catch up," she said, her hazel eyes burning holes into his, "but if you slow down, just maybe he will to."
"If you slow down then maybe he'll get a good look at you and realise you deserve it," he muttered.
The room fell silent as Madam Pomfrey walked in and started giving them Potions, and healing cuts and bruises. When she was done she told them to go back to their Dormitories for some well needed sleep.
"I love you," he blurted out just as she went to walk in the opposite direction towards the Gryffindor Common Room, "Ava I love you please don't leave me."
She paused for a moment not knowing what to say. She knew what she wanted to say, but she couldn't because it would go against everything she believed in. So instead she whispered, "you sold your soul to live, but when push comes to shove, are you really living?"
She had walked away after that, not bothering to turn back and look at him. It was the hardest thing she had ever done.
She closed her eyes again, hoping it would force her to go to sleep and she'd forget about everything- forget about him, but it didn't work.
Then there was a knock on the door.
"Avalon, it's James. Open up." Yelled the person on the other side. He was angry, she could tell. "Avalon Euphemia Potter, open this door right now!"
"Alright mum," she said rolling her eyes and swinging the Dormitory door open, "how'd you get up the stairs?"
"We made a map of the school that tracks where everyone is, getting up a bunch of magical stairs was child's play," he bragged, before he realised that wasn't what he was there for and his facial expression turned serious. "Sneaking out in the middle of the night to see a a boy, a Slytherin, you barley know?!"
"Sirius told you?" She asked.
"Yeah he did, and I'm angry at both of you," he said pacing the room, "and then to top it off you get kidnapped with him. You're lucky Stormy is smarter than she acts."
"Don't insult my friend like that because you're mad," she snapped, "Stormy's at the top of the class, behind that girl who's always interrupting the Professors to finish their sentences, and Reg."
"Reg? How well do you actually know him?" He asked stopping his mindless walking to look at her.
"It's none of your business," she stated, he narrowed his eyes in her direction.
"I think it is."
"Well I don't."
"He's the person you would go off and see every time you mysteriously disappeared wasn't he?" Questioned James, Avalon didn't give him an answer as she plonked onto her bed, closed her eyes and ran her hands through her hair. "It was him! I can't believe it, and to think I had convinced myself that it was just some random boy who was a nobody - someone that was harmless. But instead it was the King of fucking Slytherin himself. Jesus Ava! He could have hurt you! He could have turned you down the wrong path! He could have gotten you killed!"
"First off I don't know why everyone thinks his so scary. Secondly he's not like that, at least I thought," said Avalon, mumbling the last part, but James had heard her.
"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked, still fuming. She didn't mean to, she really didn't mean to, but a a tear rolled down her cheek. Then came another one and another one, until she was fully sobbing into her hands.
James stood still for a moment, the last time he had seen his sister cry she was ten years old and the moving stairs had given her a panic attack. Just like he did back then he walked over to her and pulled her into a hug. He had forgotten the reason he was there in the first place as she cried into his shoulder, making his Quidditch jacket wet with tears.
Then she told him everything, from the moment she had bumped into him on their first day back, to the moment she had seen his Dark Mark and he'd confessed his love for her in the hallway. James didn't say anything he just let her talk, because in that moment she didn't need him to be protective of her, she needed him to be her brother.
"It's going to be okay," he said rubbing her back. They sat there for what seemed like hours until she fell asleep. He pulled the blanket folded on the bottom of her bed over her and left, shutting the door behind him.
He had been so angry when Sirius had told him what she had done, and with the added knowledge that she had almost been killed, he had planned to storm up there and tell her off for being so spontaneous and stupid. Now he just wanted her to be okay.
He remembered when she first started to disappear and despite the fact that she didn't know he noticed, he did. He just thought she was sneaking off to see some guy from Hufflepuff or something, like her friends had suggested when he asked them - but never in his wildest dreams did he think it was Regulus Black. He thought she knew better. He thought that she was less naive.
He planned to go find Lily and the boys so he could tell them everything when he bumped into the girl he vowed never to talk to again.
"Hello J," she said in her usual soft tone.
"Roberta." He answered.
"Dumbledore wants to see you and your friends, and Lily and her friends - all seventh year Gryffindors."
"Why?"
"I'm not allowed to say," she sighed, giving him a small smile.
"Of course you're not," he snorted, before turning around and walking away.
"James," she yelled after him, he turned back to the girl he had once liked with an eyebrow raised. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you. It's just I've kept it a secret for so long and the thought of letting anyone other than close family know - it just didn't feel...safe."
"Okay then," he said. He didn't hate her and he'd always have a fondness for the girl with the purple hair and the time they spent together, but it hurt a little that he had trusted her with some of his deepest thoughts and secrets, and she didn't even trust him enough to tell him about about hers.
"I get that you feel offended that I didn't share my ancestry with you J or about the Dumbledore thing, but if the wrong people found out they would want to use me to their advantage," she said, "we're leaving in a couple of weeks and this little sanctuary we have will be left behind, we will no longer be safe behind Hogwarts walls, and I have to make sure that I'm not going to be used as You-Know-Who's personal weapon." James looked at her and suddenly realised she had no idea what she was doing. She was lost, scared and alone. "If that means keeping secrets from the people you care about, then so be it. I'm sorry it had to be that way, for what it's worth."
"It's worth a lot," he replied after a long pause, she let out a breath and nodded.
"Don't forget about Dumbledore," she said beginning to walk away, "and I was sorry to hear about Ava and Regulus. She did wonders for him you know."
"How did you-" he began before remembering who he was talking to, "right, never mind."
"And don't be mad at Sirius, it was just his way of looking after her," she added, "she wouldn't have listened had you found out and told her not to go anyway, she is your sister after all. While your at it stop treating her like a baby - she's a lot stronger than you think."
"Do you always use your powers to pry into other peoples business?" He pouted.
"Of course, I have no social life and I have to entertain myself somehow." She smiled before turning back around, "bye, James."
"Birdie."
"Yes?"
"I'll see you later."
"Only if you agree that Puddlemere United are better than the Chudley Cannons."
"Never!"
Regulus didn't know what to do with himself, sleeping wasn't an option, and that night it wasn't because of Rosier's loud snoring. Sitting there drowning in his own thoughts was slowly torturing him as he thought about what she had said over and over again.
"you sold your soul to live, but when push comes to shove, are you really living?"
He got up from his bed and put on day clothes again. He walked the halls with a bottle of whisky in his hand, and no destination in mind. Until he walked across a sleeping baby with a soot covered face. It was slightly crooked and he could see that the door was slightly ajar behind it, so he decided to go investigate.
As soon as he stepped in there he smelt the familiar smell of Cherry Blossom. Avalon had always worn that particular perfume, she said Dorcas's grandmother sends her some every month because it was her mother's favourite, but she doesn't like it so Avalon wears it instead. He loved the way she put so much on that he'd smell her as soon as she was near-by. The stench would linger around for ages, this room always smelt like it. It was funny however, because he'd always smell that on her all day from across the room, but as soon as he'd get close enough to kiss her he'd smell chocolate.
As soon as he walked in he noticed the sheet that was covering the mirror was no longer there and instead it laid at an intruders feet - one that Regulus had not been face to face with in a long time. He was about to leave, but he was caught.
"Reg?"
"Sirius."
"I came to get a few things for Ava, she's in a really bad place and James doesn't want to leave her," said his brother in a soft tone.
It was strange, he thought he would be more angry knowing what Regulus was. He thought he'd be more angry himself considering Sirius had just left in the middle of the night without saying goodbye. But the anger he used to feel towards his older brother felt second rate to the anguish he was feeling over Avalon, so it was easily over powered and pushed deep down inside never to be felt again.
"Shouldn't you be running around with a tail right about now?" He commented, Sirius looked alarmed for a moment, before realising it was his little brother he was speaking to and Regulus was smart - some would say to smart for his own good.
"How long have you known?" He asked.
"A while," replied Regulus. "I would walk away from that mirror if I was you, it's the mirror of Erised."
"The mirror of what?"
"Erised, it shows your one true desire. You can become obsessed with what you see," began Regulus.
"I was wondering why I could see other people and not just my gorgeous reflection," he said arrogantly, as always. "By the way, you wouldn't happen to know where an old looking piece of parchment that insults you is, would you?"
"You mean the Marauders Map?" Asked Regulus walking over to the beanbags and lifting one up, "Ava always put it somewhere else every week, so you wouldn't find it."
"That little shit," muttered Sirius as Regulus handed him the map, "does she know what I have done in order to find this thing? When I get back I swear..." He trailed off not knowing exactly what he would say to the heartbroken girl once he got back.
"Well, bye."
"Regulus," began Sirius, his tone had changed and he sounded serious, "she told me everything." He redirected his gaze towards his brothers sleeve. "If you really love her like you claimed, then leave her alone, she doesn't need someone who's going to get her into trouble, she seems to do that all on her own."
Regulus stood there just blinking for a moment. He didn't mean to fall for the girl with the pretty hazel eyes that were behind glasses that were always smudged and with a laugh almost as crazy as her hair, but he did. He remembered the first time he realised just how much she meant to him.
They were sitting in their secret room and she decided she was to stuffy and they needed some fresh air. After he had told her multiple times that sneaking out out the castle in the middle of the night was a bad idea, she smiled at him, and then they snuck out of the castle in the middle of the night. They were sitting by the lake when she made one of her stupid star jokes and then started laughing, obviously drunk off her lack of sleep, because it wasn't really that funny. He looked over at her rolling around on the grass giggling, and realised he didn't want to be anywhere else.
"Think about it," continued Sirius, "what if Orion and Walburga find out, then she'll be in danger. What if Bellatrix finds out, then she'll be in even more danger. What if He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named finds out one of his lackeys is dating a bloodtraitor, then she'll really, really be in danger. Even if you cut ties and burn bridges Regulus you'll always have that mark on your arm. You'll always be in service to him."
He was scared at first because falling in love was scary and could end very badly - which he had proven, but he let himself because it's not like he had much of a choice anyway.
Now, there wasn't anything in the world he wouldn't do to protect Avalon Potter.
He looked at his brother who was waiting patiently for a reply, a word Regulus didn't even know he knew the meaning to let alone how to put it into action.
"Okay then, if it keeps her safe then I will leave her alone."
"Good," said Sirius. Then he did something they hadn't done since they were children - he hugged him. Regulus stiffened up immediately, but that didn't deter him. "I didn't want this you know. I hoped that when I left you'd see past all the things they had been telling you and you'd finally learn how to be your own person. I suppose you did the opposite." He let go and went to walk out the door, but not before turning back to look behind him one last time. "I hope you work it all out baby brother. I'm rooting for you."
Regulus waited until he was gone before he turned to look in the mirror. Not only now was he looking back into two sets of similar grey eyes, but now after the year he had not looked into it, there was two familiar hazel ones he would never forget.