"You didn't have to pick me up from the hospital." I told Imad, as I buckled my seat belt.
"I know I didn't have to, but I wanted to. I've missed so much time being away from you, I am not wasting any more..." He said as he stared at me, and smiled.
"You could have slept in."
"Yah I know but I'd rather be here."
"Did you see Naveed in the hospital?" I asked him, changing the topic.
"Yes we crossed paths."
"Well...?"
"What?" He spoke confused.
"You didn't make amends? Whatever happened between you two... shouldn't have easily broken your friendship." I said.
"You know exactly what happened." He said and started the car engine.
"No... I haven't the slightest idea." I said.
"He made a move on you. I heard him, he confessed his feelings for you. You were in the kitchen... Remember?" He spoke quick and seemingly irritated.
"No you must have been mistaken. That was a mistake."
"I know what I heard Anisa." He said in a firm tone.
"Well if you stayed any longer you would have known he apologized once he saw me. Naveed clarified, he thought I was Amal."
"Still. He had no right."
"Oh please Imad. You're only mad because you thought it was me he was in love with."
"Partly yes. But also because he went behind my back to make a move on my cousin, without telling me. So of course I was enraged." He explained.
"It was a long shot. Maybe he wanted to see if Amal felt the same way before approaching you."
"But Amal? I could have never imagined. He never once asked about her or mentioned her."
"I mean maybe he was shy to admit it." I tried to reason with him. While drove off the parking lot, and on to the main Street.
"So you broke off your friendship because of what he felt..."
"If you put it like that. Obviously it sounds trivial."
"But it is, however you put it. He was your best friend. Amal never got to know and now he's married, with a child."
"What?" He briefly looked at me.
"I mean you cut ties with him. What did you expect. A daily subscription to his life?" I commented jokingly.
"Good for him." He said in a flat tone. "So how long do I have to wait to brag about you in public and officially call you mine."
"You've waited four years..." He cut me off and spoke;
"Yes and still counting. I told you I don't want to waist any more time." He's fixed on the road, both of his hands clenched to the steering wheel. It was apparent that this topic made him agitated if not impatient.
"That's why you came to pick me up... you wanted to talk about this."
"No this just happened to come up as we conversed. Tell me why I have to wait any longer."
"Because I am having second thoughts about us... you." I confessed and sighed. A weight had been lifted from my chest and another one immediately replaced. Anxious to hear his reply, after speaking so honestly.
"Is there anything I can do or say to convince you..." He spoke in a low tone. Grateful for his patience and understanding with me.
"No. I just need to come to the decision on my own."
"What made you so hesitant about us?" He asked, and stopped at the red light. I could feel his stare on me now.
"When mum died you..."
"Not this again." He said. I glanced at him, his were closed tightly and he sucked his teeth and hit the steering wheel like in defeat. "I know... I know it was an act of cowardice. I have to live with it for the rest of my life and you have no idea how hard it's been living with it. Every time I tried to convince myself to show up, I made myself believe it was too late. Amal needed me and I wasn't there, I didn't even go for the sake of the woman of raised and nurtured me to be the man I am now. She would definitely be disappointed. Anisa trust me when I say, I live everyday with the hope that one day I can build a time machine and redo my faults. But I can't do that, so everyday I have to make up for my actions." He continued driving and looked back at the road.
"I want to understand and I do. But I can't help but think what if it gets hard with us, what if you can't handle it and you just leave or just don't step up when I need you the most." I spoke, my head low and spirit. "It's not the only reason I am hesitant. I want to get to know you... again."
"I made a promise never to repeat that mistake again. And I promise you Anisa I will try my very best to never disappoint or make you mad or worse, sad. You're my All. I hope you didn't forget that. Also I would love to reintroduce myself, even if it's a hundred times, I'd love to see you fall for me over and over again."
"Okay then." I said without overthinking my choice of words. It felt appropriate and so I just said it. "Hah you're cocky you know that right."
"Okay what?" He asked. "Confident is the word."
"You can get the ring." I spoke, as my cheeks grew hot and probably red. "I said what I said."
"I already have it." He said, and smirked when I looked at him. "I never doubted what we had for a second."
"Now I feel bad..."
"Please don't. I understood your concerns, and you had every right to be. You're not the one who hurt people you love."
"Thank you Imad for staying steadfast when I was flimsy."
"I meant what I said. I promised you and I don't intend on breaking that promise." He said.
"And if you want me to put on that ring. You better make amends with Naveed, your friendship was invaluable and special. He was like your brother."
"It won't be easy. I said some things I don't think I can take back. But I'll try."
"Good." I said and smiled.
Amal
Paint, colors: blue, green, yellow or pink. Fine brush... or... ugh whatever. I opened my laptop and logged into my account on Zaides.com, in hopes of a distraction from my indecisiveness. I look at my notifications, one in particular caught my eye - a friend request from Naveed. This is unexpected. I accepted it immediately and now he can see my pictures, and basically everything that inspires me and obsessed with. No surprise, his posts content are medical related and pictures of his adorable daughter Manayer. There's the one selfie he took with her that just melts my heart. It's really cute. She's pouting and he's looking at her with a raised eyebrow.
He messages me as I was going through his posts, like a true stalker or preferably investigator, I am. Curiosity got the better of me, and I started reading some of the comments on his posts. Finally I decided it was time to open his message, after completing the quick investigation on his page.
nvd0991: Salam
Mal881: Waalikum salam.
Suddenly I am thirteen again and I feel butterflies in my tummy. He says nothing after my reply, which leaves me wonder if I should send another message asking how he is. I know for sure Rayana would advice against it. Plus I don't want to seem like I care too much, but what's wrong with caring too much. It's good to care.
Naveed: How are you?
Finally another message pops up.
Me: Isn't it supposed to be "How are you feeling today?" 😊
Sorry wrong emoji ❤️
No not that one either. I give up.
Naveed: 😂
Me: Never-mind it.
Naveed: Sure.
Maybe your emojis are trying to tell you something.
Me: That I need a new keyboard. Yah.
Naveed: That's one way to look at it.
Me: Don't you have work to do?
Naveed: You mean lives to saves? You know I am not the only Doctor in the hospital, me taking a break won't lead to the death of every patient.
Me: Some patients need close observations.
Naveed: Indeed. And they are getting close observations, from the drones in their room that monitor everything. Even if their heartbeat skips a beat we'll know.
Me: Okay good to know they don't over work you.
Naveed: Your concern is sweet.
Me: It's merely a remark.
Naveed: Sure. 🤨
I have to go save lives, as you say. You know the usual. Talk later.
Me: Yes your job 😊
Wrong emoji.
Naveed: I know ❤️
And poof he was offline. Why would he send that? My mind pondered as if it were my life that depended on the reason.Maybe he's just messing around with me or maybe it's a sign of the beginning of a friendship.