Sunday Morning.
I'm pulled out of my deep sleep by a loud ring tone echoing in the bedroom. My head instantly starts to pound, as if attacked by a jackhammer. Ouch. I probably shouldn't have drunk that much last night.
"Mmmm", I hum, miserably and barely audible. The loud ring tone is still going on, making my head feel like it's going to explode. I open one eye, not without struggle, and see Brad lying next to me on his chest, one hand under his pillow and facing the opposite direction. "Brad", I say, still half asleep hoping he'd make it stop. But he doesn't move, clearly still deeply asleep, while the ringing's as loud as ever. "Brad!", I say louder this time to wake him up as I kick him in the legs with my foot. "Turn it off".
How can he still be sleeping? All I can hear is that ringing noise, resonating in my head. But there's no way I'm gonna get up to make it stop. Because I know that the moment I stand up, the content of my stomach will end up on the floor. Brad finally starts to move in the bed, sign that he's still alive. Without switching position, he pats the nightstand, his eyes clearly still shut as he makes everything his hand encounters fall to the floor in the loudest noise possible. I want to die. Being hungover is not a feeling I missed.
"It's not mine", Brad suddenly mumbles in his husky morning voice. Fuck. Now I have no other choice but to find my stupid phone where that insanely loud ring tone is coming from. I slowly and gently move closer to the edge of the bed, trying my best not to make any sudden moves my stomach would find upsetting, and let my arm hang until my hand touches the floor. I pat it blindly, hoping my phone is somewhere in the mess of clothes and random shit Brad has laying everywhere in his room. THERE. I finally found my precious phone and was about to throw it against the wall when I noticed the caller ID. Jay. I slide my finger across the screen and bring the phone to my ear.
"Hello", I say in a still groggy, and clearly dehydrated voice.
"Hey baby", Jay says, way too loud for my already pounding head, making me pull my phone away from my ear. I instantly press the volume button down, reducing Jay's voice to a whisper. "Shit, did I wake you up?", he asks as he probably heard my cracked voice.
"Maybe?", I answer, still not completely awake.
"It's 1 pm babe, why are you still sleeping?", he asks and I can tell at that exact moment where his mind is going. There's no way he can know I'm with Brad. That would crush him. Especially after he made me promise not to sleep in the same bed as B while he's away.
"I wasn't feeling great this morning and must have fallen asleep", I answer, hoping he wouldn't question my lie.
"Sorry, babe, are you feeling better now?"
"Kinda", I answer, not meaning it the slightest. I feel like crap.
"Well, I have something to tell you that'll make you feel better", he says, making me smile at the sound of his voice, and the happiness I can hear from it. "I took an earlier flight. Long story, but I'm on my way to your place. I'll be able to take care of my sick girl". I can't help the smile that appears on my lips. Jay's coming home. After six days away from each other, he's finally coming back to me.
"Oh my gosh, baby, that's awesome!" I say, sitting up on the bed, instantly regretting it as I swallow back what is threatening to leave my mouth.
"Shut up", Brad says next to me as he places his pillow over his head. Apparently I'm not the only one a little hungover this morning. Well, afternoon as it appears.
"Is Brad with you?", Jay asks, making my heart rate go even faster than it already is. Fuck, he can't know. I have no choice but to lie to him. Again. But when it is to protect someone, is it really considered lying?
"What?", I answer as I fake my most surprised voice. "Why would he be with me? I just left the TV on". Can he tell by the sound of my voice I'm lying? Have we reached that point in our relationship where we know the other is not telling the truth just by hearing their voice? I deeply hope not. But before he can answer anything and question my lie, I add: "So you said you're on your way? When will you be here?"
"Yeah", he answers, clearly not entirely believing what I just said. "In like half an hour or so", he adds and I freeze. He's gonna be at my place in half an hour, expecting to find his sick girlfriend when I'm still in Brad's bed, not dressed and barely able to sit up straight without feeling like I'm going to vomit my guts out. But right now I don't care if the content of what I drank last night ends up on Brad's floor. All that matters is to reach home before Jay does.
"Great!" I answer as I quickly get off the bed. Apparently way too quickly for my stomach, as I feel a rush of warm liquid making its way up my throat. I swallow back again in the least lady-like sound and promise myself never to drink again.
"Are you sure you're okay?", Jay asks, his voice sounding genuinely worried about me.
"I'll survive", I answer as I look for my clothes in the mess that is Brad's room. "Gonna take a shower now. I'll see you in a bit, babe". As soon as we hung up, I take Brad's shirt off while still looking for my clothes. "Shit", I say as I pace around the room in my underwear, unable to locate my dress.
"Let me guess, tiny dick's coming home early from ball camp", he says as he turns around on the bed to face me, his head now resting on a pile of pillows. And that's what you get for sharing secrets with your best friend. Clearly I need to stop talking to him about Jay all together.
"Don't you ever call him like that again", I say as I glare at him while putting on my dress that I finally found laying on the floor. "Understood?"
He rolls his eyes at me, clearly unimpressed.
"Why the rush?" he asks, ignoring my comment. "Do you miss him so much you can't bear another second away from him? Or are you running away from me?", he adds and I look at him confused. Why would I be running away from him?
"Why would I be running away from you, weirdo", I answer as I pull down on my dress again. "He's on his way to my place. I have to be there before him or he's gonna go ballistic again"
"That's how it's gonna be now? You're gonna have to lie to him every time we hang out?"
"What?", I ask, surprised by his reaction. "Of course not"
"Then why didn't you tell him? Because of what happened last night?", he says and my heart stops at the sound of his words. 'What happened last night'. It only takes a second for the memories from last night to come rushing through my mind in one big, messy wave. How did I forget about what happened last night? How did I forget about that kiss? About the way I felt in Brad's arms? Did I really feel that way or did I dream it? The more I think about it, the more confused I'm getting on what was real and what wasn't. I quickly push the thoughts away, not willing to give them more attention. I'm in love with Jay, the end of the conversation.
"What do you mean, what happened last night?", I ask, pretending not to get the reference. Brad looks at me confused.
"You don't remember?" he asks, apparently not convinced by my acting skills.
"I don't", I lie. "Why? What happened?"
He pauses for a minute as if unsure of what to say. Is he as confused as I am?
"You were completely wasted", he finally says. "Some dickhead tried to take advantage of you, so I brought you back here", he adds before pausing for a second again while he stares at me, his eyebrows furrowed, clearly trying to read me. "Seriously, you don't remember anything from last night?"
"I really don't", I say, trying hard to not show that I'm lying. Brad knows me like nobody else and I wonder if he can tell I'm lying right now.
"Wait, if that's not why you lied to him, what is it then?", he suddenly say, and I look at him for a second, hesitant.
"He made me promise we wouldn't sleep together while he was away", I finally say, earning a nasty look from Brad.
"Wow...", he answers, looking stunned, hurt and pissed all at the same time. "So I was right", he says, emphasizing the word 'was'. "We're not allowed to hang out anymore, are we? And like the good, loving, and committed girlfriend that you are, you're gonna do exactly what he demands of you", he finally adds, making me roll my eyes at how over-dramatic he's being.
"I came yesterday, didn't I? All that he asked for was to not sleep in the same bed, it's not the 50s anymore. But good to know you think I'd do exactly what a guy tells me to do, asshole"
"You say that, and yet you're lying to him about being here. But why though? It's not like you're cheating on him when we sleep together", he says as he sits on the bed. His words resonate in my head. 'It's not like you're cheating on him when we sleep together'. But I almost did last night. What would have happened between us if I didn't get that sudden urge to throw up? The thought literally gives me chills and I have to force myself not to think about it again.
"You're done?" I answer, getting irritated by his attitude. "He knows there's nothing between us". And another lie. Who am I even trying to convince? B or myself? "I really gotta go. I'll call you later", I add as I lean over the bed and kiss him on the cheek before making my way to his bedroom door. It's only when I reach it that I suddenly realize something. I didn't drive here last night. Shit. I turn around and see Brad looking at me, amused.
"I was wondering how long it was gonna take you to remember your car's not here", he says as I sigh. I really don't want to ask him this favour but I have no choice. There's no way an Uber will get me home in time.
"Can you drop me off?", I ask as he stares at me, clearly not willing to move from his bed.
"Are you serious?", he answers, getting pissed again. Seriously, what's his problem lately? "Why the fuck would I have to get out of bed and get dressed for him? It's your shit, you deal with it", he adds, making me bite my tongue not to yell something back. That would definitely not help with having him drive me home.
"You're not doing it for him but for me", I say, trying to stay as calm as I can. And trust me, it's not easy. "Please B, I never ask you for anything. It's a ten-minute ride, please", I continue as he looks at me in silence and judging by the expression on his face, I don't think he's gonna oblige. "Fine", I finally say as he's clearly not going to move from his bed. I make my way downstairs while quickly ordering an Uber on my phone and leave Brad's apartment before going on the sidewalk to wait for my driver. He's not going to be here before fifteen minutes and I have to face the reality of things. I'm gonna have to tell Jay about last night. My heart starts to race in my chest at the thought. I don't want to fight with him but I know exactly how he's going to react to the news. And as I just started thinking about the worst-case scenario, Jay breaking up with me for lying to him, the gates in front of Brad's place suddenly open, and his Range Rover pulls out and stops next to me. I stand there, surprised he actually got out of bed for me until the passenger window slides down and I hear Brad say:
"You're gonna stand there all day? Get in before I change my mind"
I don't argue and quickly take a seat next to him before he starts driving towards my place. I can tell he's pissed, probably because I forced him out of bed while he's clearly hungover. I mean, did I really force him? I was waiting for an Uber, so technically no... But I'm for sure glad he changed his mind because now I might actually arrive before Jay now.
"Thank you", I say as I look at Brad, his attention focused on the road. He stays quiet, clearly ignoring me on purpose. "Are you mad?", I ask, trying to get him to say something to fill the uncomfortable silence. Brad turns his head towards me for a second before turning it back to the road. "Woah, that bad? What did I do?", I add as there's clearly something else bothering him. He can't be that upset about giving me a ride. He stays quiet again and I know he's well aware of how crazy silence drives me. "Brad!", I almost yell to make him answer me. "Why are you so mad? I know it's not just about having to get up, so tell me, what's wrong?", I ask and I notice he tightens his grip on the wheel, his knuckles turning white.
"Do you realize how fucked up this is?", he finally answers, making me raise an eyebrow. "You're lying to him about hanging out with me. What kind of fucked up relationship is that?". It's my turn to stay quiet as I reflect on what he just said. I know I shouldn't be lying to Jay like that. But it's not my fault they hate each other so much that I'm literally forced to lie. "Why are you with him? I seriously don't get it", he adds, making me roll my eyes. Here we go again.
"You don't have to, it's not your relationship", I answer as I turn my head towards the window.
"It's not but it affects my life. Fuck, I can't even hang out with you without having to hide now"
"We don't have to 'hide'", I say, emphasizing the word 'hide' before marking a quick pause. "But I don't think we should sleep at each other's anymore", I add after swallowing the lump in my throat. I feel my heartbeat accelerate as the memories of last night take over my mind. We kissed. Fuck, we kissed, and it wasn't an innocent kiss. Does that count as cheating? Oh my God, it does, doesn't it? Did I cheat on Jay with Brad? No, that kiss didn't mean anything, so it doesn't count. I was beyond wasted and so was Brad. He probably thought it was Ashley he was kissing anyways. Once again Brad doesn't answer, lost in his own thoughts, and before I know it, he parks in front of my apartment building. I let out a sigh of relief as I see that Jay's car is nowhere to be seen, which means he's not here yet.
"Thanks for the ride", I say as I was about to give him a kiss on the cheek, but decided against at the last minute. I know he noticed it as he looks at me almost hurt for some reason. I don't wait for him to answer and rush inside, knowing Jay could arrive at any moment now. I quickly text him letting him know the door is open before I jump in the shower, hoping to look a little less like a zombie before he arrives. I let the burning hot water run on me as I think about the kiss. Because despite trying my hardest not to, it's literally all I can think about. Am I going crazy? Why do I feel that heat taking over my body when I think about it? Why are my lips craving Brad's so bad all of a sudden? Flashes from last night come rushing back once again. Flashes of me in his arms, of his lips on mine, of his tongue exploring my mouth. Did I imagine it? And why does it make me feel good? I close my eyes as I think of the way his touch made me feel, the way his tongue felt playing with mine, the way his fingers left shivers all over my body. The more I think about it, the more I feel that growing desire, leaving me gasping as I let my hand slide between my legs.
"Babe?", I suddenly hear echoing in the apartment, making me come back to reality. Shit Emma, what are you doing? I quickly turn the water off and get off the shower, pushing the thoughts that started to form in my head away.
"I'm in the bathroom!", I say, wrapping a towel around me.
"You shouldn't leave your door open like that", I hear as I leave the bathroom and come face to face with Jay walking towards me. I can't help the smile on my lips at the sight of him. I truly missed him, despite everything that happened with Brad. If anything really happened. Because after all, it was just a meaningless kiss, and it will never happen again.
"I missed you so freaking much", I say as I wrap my arms around his neck. I don't wait any longer before connecting my lips to his as he puts his hands on my ass, pulling me closer to him. And while he deepens our kiss, all I can think about is how it doesn't compare to the one I shared with Brad. I literally want to slap myself for thinking that and for allowing myself to compare them. What's wrong with me? All I want now is for Jay to make me feel the way Brad made me feel last night. "I want you", I add as I detach our lips and place a hand on his crotch, gently caressing it. I bite my lower lip, not breaking eye contact and let go of the towel, unveiling my naked body. I can see Jay's eyes devouring every inch of my body before he pulls me back towards him, grabbing me by the waist.
"I should leave more often if that's how I'm gonna be greeted now", he says before kissing me. I smile through our kiss and proceed to unbutton his jeans, where a bulge started forming.
"Don't you dare to leave me again", I say as I walk backwards towards my bedroom, dragging him with me without breaking our kiss. I need to forget about Brad and whatever is going on in my head. And sex is gonna do just fine.