Chapter twenty two
I can't think of a chapter name and I'm depressed and headachey and I haven't slept well in three years.
I really need a hug, so everybody better fucking hug me tomorrow at school.
Have fun reading now I've depressed you.
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We had all just about settled into our new lives, and it was a little awkward and tricky hiding from my mom, but I was happy. Ray was staying over at Mikey's regularly, taking Gerard's bed, and Gerard was over at my house more often than not. We had just about worked out how to still be together and leave minimum marks on each other. The marks didn't show up on clothes, so all we had to do was keep from holding hands and touching when I would be going outside in the near future. Occasionally we would forget this and Gerard would end up kissing me, but in a situation like that, all I had to do to avoid getting killed was skip school and stay home with Gerard for a day. It was a bit awkward, and I was so far behind on my schoolwork I'd forgotten how to do simple equations and use the word 'however' correctly, but it was the best we could do.
Weekends were awesome. After school on a Friday I would come and get Gerard from the incastum and we'd sneak up to my room and stay there for the rest of the day. Mom had no idea we were making out. She thought I was doing homework.
Gerard would take Rose with him some weekends (-on these weekends we would avoid making out).
Rose got more and more beautiful every day. She looked just like a tiny version of Gerard but with fuller lips and darker eyelashes; a more feminine face. It was adorable seeing them together. He looked at her like she was the most precious thing in the world, and she looked back up at him like he was the world.
Gerard was coping surprisingly well with being a parent. He was basically her legal guardian now, and he was caring for her almost all the time - with mine and Mikey's help, of course. He always had a bag of Rose's stuff on hand when he was looking after her, and he already knew all of these special little tricks to calm her down and cheer her up that only a parent knows. Even I was starting to get the hang of keeping her quiet and making her giggle when she was bored.
Everything in my life was finally perfect. I was finally happy.
Of course, it was only so long before everything started going wrong again.
----
It was afternoon when we found out. I was over at Gerard's. Ray and Mikey were chatting with Bob, and Gerard and I were cooing over Rose. She made the most adorable little squeal when you tickled her neck.
It was a bit of a surprise when Pete burst in, panting, a look of complete and utter shock and dismay permanently displayed on his face, and we were all a little weirded out.
"Pete?" I said uncertainly.
He tried to form words, but everything that came out of his mouth just turned into an unintelligible gasp for air. He'd obviously run here. We all waited for him to catch his breath, but he couldn't. He was still wheezing when Patrick came in, slightly less breathless than Pete and considerably better at speaking.
"President," Patrick managed. "President's alive."
"Fuck, you can't be serious," I said.
Patrick grimaced. "We are."
"But he was dead!" Gerard said. "Definitely, definitely dead, right Mikey?"
Mikey nodded confusedly, a frown on his face.
"The man was dead," Ray said firmly. "He wasn't breathing or anything. We checked."
"Well then," Patrick said, "somehow, they've sewed up the bullet hole in his heart and he's just been magically brought back to life."
The sickening realisation of it hit us like a tonne of bricks. Of course the whites still had the serum. Maybe they'd tested it on others as well as Bob- they'd probably already tested on the soldiers. And if Gerard and I could be brought back to life so easily without qualified surgeons or even anaesthetic, then of course the fucking president with the best doctors in the country could be fixed up.
"How did you find out?" I asked in a weak voice.
"He was-" Pete paused to take in a gasp of air. "He was out on the street shooting people and fuckin' laughing."
I felt sick. Why did the bad guys always laugh? They must all be horribly unstable.
"That's it," Gerard said firmly.
"That's what?" Pete asked.
"What's it?" Patrick asked.
"Frank," Gerard said, voice low and very very serious as he began to fill Rose's bag with her things. "Go pack."
"Why?" I asked tentatively.
"We're leaving," he said darkly.
"Where?"
"I don't fucking care. Not here. Just somewhere that's not here. Bring a passport or whatever. Or not, I don't have one. We might just stow away on a cargo ship or something."
I stared at Gerard, confused and a little scared. "What are you talking about?"
"I can't live in a place like this," he said quietly. He held Rose close to his chest. "I can't let her grow up in a place like this."
"So you're just... going?"
"No. You're coming with me. We're just going."
"What about Mikey?" I asked, suddenly aggressive. "Your mom told you to look after him, and what? You're just gonna abandon him? He's fourteen, Gerard!"
"Younger kids live on their own in this place," he snapped.
"The whole fucking reason you're going is to escape this place. This place embodies everything you're against. And you're just going to leave your kid brother here?"
Gerard stared at me. Then he turned to Mikey. "Pack a bag," he said quietly.
"But- Ray," Mikey protested weakly. "I need Ray. I can't go."
Gerard sighed. "Ray, pack a bag."
"And we're all just gonna leave Bob on his own?" I asked.
"No, no." Gerard waved a hand dismissively. "He'll have Pete and Patrick."
Bob looked utterly horrified. "Take me with you," he pleaded.
"We don't even know where we're going."
"I don't wanna be a third wheel. I like being the fifth wheel. Take me with you, please."
Gerard rolled his eyes. "Go pack a fucking bag." He turned to Pete and Patrick. "You guys wanna come too?" he offered reluctantly.
"Nah," Patrick said. "I think we're good here. Someone's gotta keep the president from taking over the world."
"Anyway, wifi is a necessity for being alive," Pete added.
"Well," Gerard said, "we don't live on the rich side of town like you and we don't have wifi, yet somehow we're still alive."
"If you call that living."
"Shut up. Don't pack a bag."
Pete raised an eyebrow and backed away.
"Frank," Gerard said, voice kinder. "You should probably get packing."
"Oh, right," I mumbled, and I shuffled towards the door. "Bye."
"Bye," Gerard called. "I promise we won't leave without you, honey."
"You better not," I said, and disappeared out the door.
----
Well, it had turned out that everything was for nothing, because the president was alive. We went through that whole ordeal and achieved everything but our main goal. It felt like it wasn't worth it all, but... at least a got a boyfriend out of it. And at least we were finally leaving this shitty place. I didn't really care where we were going. Gerard was right. Anywhere was better than here.
When I got back home, I was shaking and jittery with anticipation. I couldn't decide what to pack. Clothes was easy. Wash stuff was easy. But choosing between Pansy, Bela and Texas was painful.
I eventually came to a decision and picked Pansy. I'd had her for the majority of my life, and she was my favourite guitar ever. I just felt bad leaving the others. Oh, well. I could probably give them to Patrick and Pete.
As soon as I was done deciding what to take, I grabbed my stuff and bolted down the stairs. My mom was in the living room, watching TV.
"Mom?" I said.
"Frank Anthony Iero, where the hell have you been?" she asked sternly.
"Oh, uh. Dropping in and out. Just never had the chance to catch you. Sorry... Anyway. I'm leaving the country with a bunch of friends and my boyfriend and his kid. The majority of them are black, not that it would matter to you. We won't be coming back." I really didn't care that I had just spilled all my secrets to my mom. I was probably never going to see her again.
She looked shocked to say the least. Fucking scared shitless to say the most.
"Sorry I never told you I was gay," I said. "And sorry I lied about going to the incastum. But they're good people, mom. They're amazing."
I kissed her cheek, and with that, I left, with my bag in one hand and my guitar slung over my shoulder.
I was leaving forever. And I'd never been happier.