I blinked. This is it. I looked at the giant, beating cocoon of Calamity Ganon.
This is it.
We stepped inside. Suddenly, a girl's voice spoke. I totally understood her. She said something about 'Not able to hold Ganon no more' and more things, but it was interrupted by lasers splitting apart Ganon's cocoon. Suddenly, it broke apart and so did the ground. And we fell.
Fell.
Fell.
Fell.
And fell.
Link had his paraglider (Lucky Hylian... *growls*) and glided swiftly down this strange reddish place.
Well, I had a hard landing.
When we reached the ground, Ganon was already moving, searching for us. When he saw us two, he roared. Creepy thing.
"WHY DID YOU BETRAY ME?!" Ganon hissed.
<Well, first of all... Pfft... BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!> I laughed so hard. I did not know why, but really, I've been helping a giant spider dude all this time?
"WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?! PATHETIC LYNEL. YOU ARE A TRAITOR! PREPARE TO DI-"
<HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!> I tried to stop laughing. But I couldn't. Link just stood there, his eyes wide. <You look like... Bloody booger spider! HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAHAHAHHAH!!!!>
"I never knew that Lynels could laugh that crazy." Link commented.
"I KNOW! THIS IDIOT PROBABLY DRANK TOO MUCH NOBLE PURSUITS! NOW LET'S FIG-"
"Wait! Isn't the champions suppose to-" Link looked up. Ganon looked up. I looked up.
There was a huge bright beam of blue light. It was destroying Ganon. But it only took half his health down. I coughed.
"THAT'S IT! THAT'S IT THAT'S IT THAT'S IT THAT'S IT THAT'S IT THAT'S IT THAT'S IT THAT'S IT!!!" Ganon screamed. He sliced the air with a giant sword thing (Looks so weak and asinine)
"Let's do this thing."
What happened next was incredible. When Ganon sliced at Link, He just backflipped and rushed to give a flurry of attacks. When Ganon sliced at me, I blocked the blow with my crusher and started hitting him like crazy. But in the middle of fighting, I was still laughing to death. Don't judge me! I didn't know what hit me. But whatever. Soon we took a quarter of his health down. He then turned orange and I laughed even harder. (I mean, an ORANGE Ganon...) We couldn't deal damage, and he started climbing across the weird wall. Link was busy parrying.
I noticed that whenever Link parries, Ganon would fall and not be orange (That cured my laughter a little bit) and we could hit him. But soon later, he would turn into a fruit again and I would cry on the ground, moaning in laughter.
Link noticed me.
"Are you okay?" He asked quickly. I tried to say yes, but I ended up nodding and laughing instead.
He took his attention back to Ganon and parried. Ganon fell. He had only one bit on health left. We both nodded and said
<"Together.">
And we struck. (I still laughed when I destroyed Ganon.)
What happened next-. Sorry. This is gonna be bloody, so I suggest not to read this part.
Bloody boogers poured out of Ganon's body. He glared at both of us. A calm hero and a laughing maniac. (I still laughed.) It looked like his body was ripping apart, and screams echoed in this...place. His face twisted in every direction. His spider limbs tore apart, as his glow disappeared from within. (I was still laughing and Link shot me a dirty look.)
"YOU... NO! I WILL NOT-GAH URG FAIL!!!" Ganon turned to this weird blob and went out of the castle. Me and Link got somehow teleported to where Ganon was. Except he was no longer Ganon.
He was Dark Beast Ganon.
This weird girl's voice spoke again, but I couldn't hear because of my laughing. (Seriously, Ganon? A BOAR now?!)
And we got the bow of light. EW. But whatever. We destroyed him so badly. And when it came to the final hit, I couldn't reach. So Link had to do it. (It's not like I wanted to see that horrible disgusting eyeball. And yes, I was too busy laughing)
Then Ganon moaned. A girl came out and did some stupid thing (I didn't see because I was laughing to death). Then I finally stopped laughing.