With all the stress that came from dealing with a moody teen full-time, two first-graders were a welcome change of pace. Tabitha and Sebastian tumbled around on their oversized plushies as they laughed. The sound of their small giggles brought an uncontrollable smile to my lips.
Though I hadn't left the castle in months, it felt less confining each day that passed. I had time to talk to Crystal more often than I did at a traditional school, and Mildred was always around to keep my cabin fever at bay.
My phone buzzed against the cushion of the window seat. I picked it up and looked at the screen. Rianne. Usually, I would ignore her like all the other times, but I was in a good mood this morning.
"Hey, Kitty," I answered.
"Bunny!" she greeted me. "How are you? How's Portland treating you?"
"I'm not in Portland," I told her, though I should have known better. "I landed a teaching job in upstate."
"That's amazing! I'm happy you didn't have to move back with all of those prudes."
Prudes don't have three kids before the age of twenty-two, but I understood what she meant. "Yeah, me too."
"Well, if you're still in New York, you know you can come by the club and pull a shift whenever you want. We miss our Bunny," she purred.
I smiled at the memories of that place. Not necessarily my reputation with the other staff, but how natural the job felt—how good it made me feel.
It was a great way to bring in some extra cash, especially during the summers when school was out. But now, I didn't need extra money and I didn't need to be pulled back into a scene I was trying to leave. I looked back at Tabitha and Sebastian as they squealed with joy. Helping them was all the gratification I needed right now.
Emotionally speaking, at least.
"I wish I could," I told her, "but it's a six-hour drive from here."
"Oh, you're in upstate," she said. "I'll give you a weekend shift if you'll come visit."
"I can't right now. Maybe some other time?"
"Whenever you're ready, Bunny. You just let me know."
"I will."
"Kisses."
When I ended the call, I saw the time. I stood and went to gather the twins. "It's time for school, little ones." They frowned but made no sounds of protest. "You can't be sad on a Friday. That's the second-best day of the week, remember? Tomorrow is a whole day of fun!"
Their smiles returned. Tabby ran up and hugged my legs before running out of the room. To my surprise, shy, little Sebastian did the same. I stroked my hand over his hair, partially to return his hug, and partially to thank him. When he ran out, I felt a sense of pride.
The more I bonded with the children, the more I started to chip away at the family's walls. Mildred had years on me, but I was making noticeable progress. Eighty-five thousand a year progress, some might say.
I had been waiting for Mildred to show up for our mid-morning tea break, but she was late—very unlike her. Rather than leaving the playroom a mess, I started cleaning it on my own. I picked up the toys and as I stood up, I noticed a run in my stockings. I tossed the toys into the trunk and bent down to take a closer look at the tear.
A little hole at the side of my ankle and a two-inch rip. Most likely my heel caught it. There goes another perfectly good pair of stockings.
I took a moment to stretch my hamstrings, judging how stiff I had become with months away from my yoga routine. No need to keep up my flexibility if no one is going to use it, I chastised myself. Sliding my hands up the back of my legs as I stood, I ran them over my backside to check the placement of my pencil skirt. I glanced over my shoulder and gasped when I found a figure standing in the doorway. "Mr. Montgomery."
"Ms. Nielson."
I dropped my hands and felt my cheeks warm. Why does he always manage to walk in on me with my ass in the air? "Good morning."
"Morning." He walked closer, his hands in his pockets while he stared down at my feet. When his eyes bounced up to mine, I felt warmer and colder at the same time. The smell of his delicious cologne wafted into my nostrils and lulled my senses.
I cleared my throat and attempted to find the words to apologize and make my exit at the same time. "Was there something you needed?"
"I needed you, actually," he answered. My eyes widened with surprise. "Will you be joining us for breakfast tomorrow?"
"Yes, of course."
"Good." He shifted his weight closer to me and crossed his arms. He looked down at me with an expression I couldn't read. "I'll be needing additional support now that I've let Mildred go."
I flinched with my surprise. "What? You let her go? Why?"
He turned and looked out of the window as if watching her leave. His expression was neutral as he explained, "It was her time. Sebastian has surpassed what she can teach him in piano, and frankly, she was too old to teach Tabitha anything else. With the success you've had with Matthew, you will assume her responsibilities with ease, I'm sure."
I felt heartbroken and in shock. How could he be so callous? "Is she already gone, or can I say goodbye?"
"She left before I arrived last night," he answered. I wanted to cry. "I will give the news to the children at breakfast tomorrow. It would be helpful if you'd assist with any emotional outbursts they may have."
Emotional outbursts? That's what he wants to avoid?
I stared at him in disbelief. He wanted me to help him as he told the children that yet another staple in their life was gone and never coming back. How could I do that with a straight face? I couldn't. I wouldn't.
"I'm sorry, but I think it's best you break the news on your own."
I started to leave but he caught me by the arm. I looked at his grasp in confusion. "I wasn't asking," he said firmly. I looked up and found his dark eyes staring into mine beneath an angry brow. "I will see you tomorrow morning."
With that, he let me go. I walked out of the room and blinked back tears.
Mildred was my only friend in this place. Now, I truly felt alone.
. . .
It took me until late that night to calm myself down. Relatively speaking.
The widower got under my skin like few people ever had. My attraction to dominant men had always been a downfall. Many horrid relationships taught me that their need for control usually came from a deep-seated feeling of inadequacy—one that manifested as a desire to feel needed and in control. But that didn't seem to fit a man as successful and attractive as Augustine. Something about him felt different.
He was so mercurial, it was as if he had two sides to his personality—the provider-protector and the avoidant-absentee. Maybe he was struggling to find a balance between the loss of his wife and the needs of three children. Maybe he was used to having control so often, he was afraid to lose it. Maybe he was just a Gemini. All I knew is that trying to figure him out got me very worked up.
I swirled my hips, stroking myself against the wand while my attention was trained on my phone's screen. The "real" couple fucked hard and fast while wrapped in their poorly-affixed bondage paraphernalia. The woman's face was snarled perfectly between pain and pleasure, her male partner's hips slapping loud against her as he nailed her to the mattress. God, I miss that.
I tugged my nipple between my fingertips, twisting it until I gasped with pain. The man pinned the woman's legs to the side and pulled out to start thrusting deep. I bit my lip and reached down to turn up the intensity.
As I rubbed myself against it, an exhilarating heat built inside me. Maybe I'll be able to do it this time. Maybe I won't need to—
My thoughts were interrupted by a small tapping sound on my door. I froze and waited to see if I had imagined the sound. When it happened again, it was clear someone was knocking.
"Shit, shit, shit," I whispered as I unplugged my plastic friend and hid it beneath my pillow. I pulled my panties up, my shirt down, and threw on my robe.
When I opened the door, I was surprised at what I found. "Tabby?" She looked up at me with tears in her eyes. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"
"I," she hiccupped, "had a bad dream."
"Oh, sweetheart . . ." I lowered myself to my knees and hugged her to me. "You'll be okay, Tabby. Dreams aren't real. They can't hurt us if we don't let them."
"Mildred wouldn't answer. Can I sleep with you?"
Dammit. I couldn't tell her the reason she didn't answer and it made me feel an awful sense of guilt. She cried more and it broke my heart.
"Where is Sebastian?"
"In our room."
"Let's go there. You'll be more comfortable," I covered.
I walked with her down the long hall, the only light coming from the dimmed sconces and the moonlight sparkling off the chandelier. This place could give me nightmares if I thought too much about it.
I followed her into her room and helped her get back into bed. As I tucked the sheets around her like my mother used to do for me, she reached for me.
"Please don't leave me," she begged through her tears. Her little hands gripped mine so tight, I knew I couldn't go.
"I won't." I laid on top of her duvet and pulled the throw blanket over my legs and waist. "You know what my dad used to tell me about nightmares?"
"What?"
"That they don't come true if you tell someone about them. Do you want to tell me what happened?"
Her big eyes batted a few times before she nodded. "I had a dream that I fell into the water."
"The river outside?"
"Yes," she answered in a whisper. "We were walking in the garden—Bastian, Matthew, Daddy and I—and it started raining very hard. I slipped and fell down the hill and into the water."
"That's scary."
"Matthew and Bastian tried to help me but they were too small to reach me. But then Daddy—" she stopped short.
"But then what, sweetheart?"
She looked at me with more tears in her eyes. "Daddy walked away. And I started to drown."
My heart sank in my chest. Even in her dreams, he was abandoning her. "Well," I told her, stroking my hand over her hair to comfort her. "That's how you know it was just a dream. Your father would never let you get hurt. He'd catch you before you ever got close to the water."
Her eyes cast down, her nod much weaker than before. "But, if he didn't . . . You would save me, right?"
I stared at her and hid my emotion the best I could. "Of course I would, Tabby," I told her. "I'd jump into that water in a heartbeat."
She snuggled up next to me. "Thank you, Aubrey."
Soon after that, she fell asleep, but I couldn't sleep at all. I was at my limit, and all of it was about to boil over right onto the widower.
_____
A/N: Lovely Geminis, do not be offended by the thoughts of my fictional character. I am a Sagittarius. I have no room to judge you.
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