I snuck another look at – my mind still stuttered over the words – my mate. Lyle was completely relaxed, a little smile playing across his lips as he lounged on the bed. It was obvious he didn't care one bit about being naked and entirely on display. I couldn't help looking between his legs, a hot blush overtaking me when I remembered the events that had led up to this moment.
I could feel the bond that connected us now, though I was feeling strangely apprehensive of exploring it. Exploring it made it seem more real, and I was perfectly happy to bask in denial for a bit longer.
Denial was a fickle creature, and reality was a bitch. I really couldn't escape the fact that I was mated to Lyle, a werecougar.
I imagined explaining this to my parents and squeezed my eyes shut against the imaginary scene. Of course, that didn't help. They were going to be shocked. Hell, I was shocked, and this had been my decision.
Then again, how much of a choice had I really had? Certainly, Lyle had gotten my express consent before taking me here, but his scent was like a drug. I had definitely not been thinking clearly. Even now it swirled through the air around us, making me burn to be with him again. I squeezed my hands into fists – it was the only way to keep from reaching out for him. This was madness.
I opened my eyes again and found that he hadn't moved except to open his eyes, which were watching me with an unmistakable glint of satisfaction. Entirely without my permission, my hands unfurled from their fists and moved toward him. Lyle caught my wrists before my fingers could brush his skin and he tugged me down to lay beside him.
"You're thinking too hard again. Is this going to happen a lot?" Lyle said.
I snorted. "Yeah, count on it."
Lyle laughed. My chest was pressed to his, so I felt the vibrations all through my core. It was strangely pleasant. I looked up at him, at my mate, and tried to imagine having denied him. It was impossible. Once I got a true hit of his scent, I was his. My conviction helped ease the panic that kept building in me, though the panic never really dissipated before it swelled again. That was okay, I thought. This was new and would take some getting used to.
I glanced down at Lyle's naked form and shivered. It would take a lot of getting used to, but there was no denying the way he made me feel. A pull as strong as I had felt for him meant we were extremely compatible, and not only physically. That was another odd thing to think about, since I was so uncharacteristically submissive to him. He made me feel small, not in a demeaning way but in a comforting way. I knew he would take care of me. I didn't want to be the kind of person who wanted taken care of, but my objections faded to nothing when he was near.
Lyle slightly tightened his grip on my wrists and I looked back up at him. He looked extremely pleased with himself and I blushed at being caught ogling. I bit my lip and looked away from him, but Lyle released one of my wrists so he could take my chin and gently tug it back toward him. "You have nothing to be ashamed of. I'm glad I please you."
Who says things like that? How could he be so calm about all this? I liked to think of myself as a fairly unflappable guy, but Lyle put me to shame. Then again, I suspected he might not have spent the past twenty-odd years thinking he was straight. This may not be such a shock to him.
"Would talking make this easier for you to process?" Lyle asked gently. The amusement I was beginning to think of as his trademark was simmering in his eyes, but the predominant emotion I could see now was compassion.
"It might," I admitted. We certainly had a lot to discuss.
"What would you like to talk about first?" Lyle asked. His fingers left my skin altogether and moved to the ends of my hair, which he toyed with contentedly while he waited for my answer.
I considered his question. What would be the best place to start? We had to figure out where we would live and I needed some kind of confirmation that this was a permanent commitment for him – who knew how cats worked? – but what slipped out of my mouth while I was thinking was, "Have you always been gay?"
Lyle didn't laugh at me, which made me feel better for starting off with such an inane question. He shrugged and a carefree smile graced his lips. "I never felt the need to chase labels. I've been drawn to men since I was in my early teens. I had a couple of brief flirtations with women, but I never found them as satisfying."
Then another inanity tumbled from my lips before I could think about what I was saying. "I think I'm bisexual."
Lyle did laugh now, but it wasn't menacing or mocking. His eyes filled with mirth and his laughter rang so true I couldn't help joining in with him. "I think so," he agreed, shaking his head in amusement.
I knew my cheeks were hot again. It was getting annoying that they would have just enough time to cool before the next embarrassing thing happened.
When Lyle was done laughing, he wrapped an arm securely around me and I cuddled myself into him, though I could still look up and see his expression. "What else would you like to talk about?" Lyle asked when we were settled.
I sighed. There were too many things for us to discuss, but mostly, I just wanted to hear him speak. Sometimes there was the faintest hint of an accent in the way he clipped his consonants or the way he landed harder on certain vowels than I would expect. It was captivating. "What's on your mind? What do you think of all this?"
Lyle's eyes searched mine before he smiled gently. "I think I am very fortunate to have met you," he said. It wasn't much, but his words warmed me. "I also think you should answer your phone," he added.
My phone? But it wasn't ringing.
"Trust me," Lyle said. "Cats hear better than dogs. Your phone is in your jeans pocket on the floor and it's vibrating."
What, so he shifted into a much bigger animal and could hear better? We were so out of balance. How was this mating supposed to work, exactly?
I pushed those thoughts aside and peeled myself away from Lyle. I felt acutely self-conscious as I stood and gave him an unimpeded view of my backside, but there was no helping that. My phone wasn't vibrating when I pulled it out of my discarded pants, but when I turned on the display, it showed four missed calls.
"It's my sister," I explained to Lyle. "I should call her back."
I didn't wait for a response before hitting the call button and easing back down on the bed. Lyle's fingers traced light patterns over my thigh and up to my ribs, then back down. It was distracting enough that I almost missed when Penny answered.
"Jasper! Finally! We've been looking everywhere for you but this place is so big, we've been going in circles. Are you ready to leave yet? We were thinking about heading out."
I didn't have long to formulate an answer, but I knew I didn't want to explain Lyle right now. "You guys go on without me," I said.
"What? But how will you get back to the hotel?" Penny asked.
"Don't worry about me, Penny. If you guys are ready to go, go. Thanks for letting me know."
"But-"
"I'm hanging up now. Love you, sis," I said. It was too dangerous to let her get a word in – she was certain to start asking questions.
"I love you too. Are you sure?" I hated how worried she sounded, but she would understand later.
"I'm sure. Bye." I hung up and leaned back against the pillows, closing my eyes and letting my heart calm down. That had been nerve-wracking. She might be suspicious, but I thought I could count on Owen to distract her. My phone didn't immediately ring again and I knew I was right.
"You didn't want to tell her about me?" Lyle asked.
I snapped my eyes open and studied his expression. He looked as unruffled as ever, so I felt comfortable being honest. "No, not yet. Penny would be on her way here right now and I'm not ready for that."
Lyle nodded. "So, you have a sister. Any other siblings?"
"No. What about you? What's your family like?"
Lyle stretched so hard his limbs trembled before he pulled them back toward himself. His right arm hooked around me on the way back and my only options were to land on him in an undignified heap or snuggle myself back into his side. I chose door number two.
"Mmm," Lyle hummed happily. "Don't you love a good stretch?"
"I guess so," I said. "But do you have siblings?"
"Patience, Jasper. I have a twin brother. He's off traveling at the moment. Rome, perhaps? I can't keep track of him. My parents were in Seattle last I checked."
I blinked in befuddlement. "You don't know where your family is?"
Now Lyle looked at me directly. "I know they're well and we check in every week or two." He shrugged and it seemed that to him, the topic was closed.
"I think you're in for a culture shock," I mumbled as I considered what it would be like for Lyle to deal with my own family. They were clingy and liked to hover. They could be suffocatingly involved in my life. Werecoyotes tended to be family-oriented creatures, and my family was no different. I liked a little more separation than most of my family members did, but was still at my happiest when they were at least nearby. I tried to imagine going a week without talking to my parents and honestly couldn't. Even when I was away, I rarely went a day without speaking to them.
I looked back to Lyle, genuinely concerned about how he would handle my family. Maybe we wouldn't live close to them. I would video chat with them every day or two and Lyle didn't need to be a part of that. The thought made my chest ache. I wanted them to be more involved in my life than that, and I wanted my mate to be a true part of the family. That wouldn't happen if he avoided them at every turn.
Lyle stroked the backs of his fingers over my cheeks and said, "Hey, you're thinking too hard again. You're worried about my family?"
"I'm more worried about my own, actually. We're all very close to one another. I want you to be a part of it." I studied his expression as I spoke and in the long moments of silence that followed, but Lyle's expression gave nothing away.
Finally, he sat up and pulled me up with him. We faced each other on the bed and I fought against the urge to twiddle my fingers or bite my lip or twist the longer strands of my hair. His eyes watched me with an intensity that had me instinctively freezing in place, waiting for him to make his move.
Then one corner of his mouth drew up in a smirk and his eyes glimmered in the low light of the hotel room. "Let's compromise," Lyle said. "Do you work?"
I had no idea where he was going with this, so there was nothing for it but to answer and hope he made his point soon. "Yeah. I work in IT for the school district near my parents."
Lyle's head tilted and his brow furrowed a little. "Do you live with your parents?" he asked.
For some stupid reason, my cheeks heated and I grew defensive. "Yeah. Most coyotes live with their parents until they mate. We like to stay close to family."
"A culture shock, indeed," Lyle murmured. He looked thoughtful for a moment before snapping his eyes up to mine, focused again. "Does working for schools mean you can vacation during school breaks?"
"A little," I answered, still unsure what this had to do with him spending time with my family. "There's still work to be done during breaks, but it's significantly less and tends not to be as pressing. I usually pick up other projects during summer vacation from the local fire service and, occasionally, the hospital."
A smile lit Lyle's face. "Here's the compromise: we can live near your parents and will visit with them regularly. Whenever you're able to leave, we'll travel together. It would mean you do fewer of those other projects."
I sat up straighter. Lyle didn't even know where he was agreeing to move to, which made it a little hard to take his offer seriously. Then again, what I had begun to think of as his ever-present amusement was completely missing from those striking green eyes. Maybe he meant it. "I can agree to that."
"It's settled then. Do you feel better now?" Lyle set his hands on my thighs, where his fingers traced patterns up and down. They went higher each time, which made it hard to think. His gaze heated and I thought his eyes might be even brighter than usual, or maybe that was a trick of the light. I slowly nodded, keeping my eyes fixed on his.
"Good," Lyle said. His hands moved up to grip my waist and he tugged me hard. Before I could even figure out his plan, I was lying beneath him and he was propped up over me, grinning. Nerves fluttered through me, but all the apprehension from earlier tonight was gone. Now I just felt anticipation. I wrapped my arms around Lyle's neck and pulled him down so I could kiss him. Lyle made a pleased sound and instantly took control of the kiss. I didn't mind – in fact, I think I preferred it.
I shut my eyes and let Lyle steer. I was happy to enjoy the ride.