BETROTHED — CHAPTER 4
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The Great Hall mulled with chatter and laughter, spirits lifted as the first Hogsmeade weekend of the year came closer and closer until it was only a day away.
Sirius Black found himself letting his eyes drift to the table farthest across the room, his gaze ever so slightly sweeping over the dark-haired young woman that sat in between her betrothed and another Slytherin he could care less for.
He'd found he'd noticed her far more than he ever had since that day in the empty corridor, glances here and there that before he would never have even imagined himself doing. It was an odd thing, perception. All these years he'd always seen her the way he'd wanted to see her - a carbon copy of his mother.
But now that he'd gotten glances of humane emotions underneath all her tough skin, it felt as if his entire perception of her and their relationship they shared had been flipped upside down. He wondered if perhaps this would come back to bite later on, if maybe ignorance was bliss when it came to Elara Northcott.
The last time they'd truly met face to face had been weeks ago, something having altered that night when he'd uttered the words "I'm sorry."
Though neither of them commented on it, those two words had sent every perception of their realities in a direction that they would've much rather left unexplored.
Looking back, Sirius knew that he should have probably taken it back, should have convinced her that he hadn't meant it. But the thing that nagged at him was that he had meant it. He looked back at that moment and knew that even for one very minute second, he'd meant his apology.
It was obvious that the shift in dynamic had changed them both because for the past couple of weeks it seemed that they evaded each other, always locking eyes but never gathering up any courage to speak. Instead they sent letters.
The first letter to arrive had been seen by Remus, who opted to stay up late into the early hours of the morning. Sirius was glad that all the questioning he'd gotten was a raise of Remus' brow. He brushed it off and said that it was probably a secret admirer.
From then on she made sure to always send letters at exactly 4:27 in the morning, right after Remus had gone to bed and just before James began to wake.
They were always brief and to the point, much like Elara herself. They'd describe Regulus' moods, anything he'd say or do that was out of the ordinary, or any other information she thought he should know.
As the weeks ticked by and he still hadn't gotten a letter addressing a meeting time or place, Sirius slowly became tense, knowing that with each letter sent, that they were wasting time. It wouldn't be long until the winter holidays rolled around.
He continued to steal glances across the Great Hall, watching as she picked at her food, her usual grimace sitting undisturbed on her face. He'd never noticed how unhappy she always looked.
She turned her head ever so slightly to meet his eyes, both harsh and curious at the same time. It was those eyes that he always hated, so closed off and full of disdain. Sirius tried to keep his own face neutral.
Their eye contact lasted for far longer that it should've, though he couldn't find it within himself to look away. Sirius watched as her brow raised an almost indistinguishable amount, her grimace staying firmly fixed onto her lips.
"Sirius!" He turned to find James' annoyed stare. "Were you listening?"
He blinked at his best mate. No he wasn't. "Course I was, I know how important this weekend is for you James."
He saw Remus quickly follow where he had been staring earlier, watching him with accusing eyes. Sirius decided to ignore him. He'd only hoped that he couldn't see Elara in the sea of heads.
Looking away from Remus' pointed stare, he instead met James' eyes, who was watching him carefully. For a moment Sirius thought that he might question, but to his relief, James didn't press any further. "Right, so I was saying..."
Sirius took one last glance at the Slytherin table, just long enough to notice his family owl drop a letter gracefully into his brother's hands.
+++
Elara sat picking unenthusiastically at her food, eating a few pieces of cut strawberries every once in a while. Her mood was still sour from a letter her mother had sent a day before, boasting of how the Northcott family had their first successful marriage - her sister Ayslyn was of child. It didn't help that Sirius Black was constantly catching her eye across crowded rooms, a habit which would become suspicious if anyone caught on.
Her relationship with her family was a complicated one. Though not as broken as the Black family, her family was not any less discordant.
Her parents always believed in pureblood reign, how their blood should never be tainted by the blood of those who showed sympathy to anyone with even a hint of muggle blood. That's why both her and her sister had both been auctioned off to be a bride for any pureblood family her parents deemed as meeting their standards from the moment they were spoken into creation.
Her sister was much more aligned to those values than she'd ever been - hexing muggleborns or even half bloods daily during her time at Hogwarts just for the fun of it. To Elara's horror, she'd even been taken along for many of her sister's and her then betrothed's (now husband) adventures to make a show of scaring the absolute shit out of many unsuspecting muggles.
And even after she'd begged her mum to force Ayslyn to stop dragging her along on those endeavors, her mother had only smiled proudly at her sister, exclaiming that she was "glad she was taking well to what those filthy mudbloods truly were."
"You might end up creating jam if you push those berries around any longer." She turned her head to find Regulus watching her in mild amusement. The amusement present on his face only soured her mood further.
She was about to mumble a short response when owls had begun to fly into the hall. Regulus' family owl dropped a small letter into his hands.
She watched as Regulus took one look at the sender before stuffing the letter neatly into his cloak. "You're not going to read it?"
"No, it's from mother. I'd rather read it in my dormitory so I can get a response back should it be urgent," he answered, not quite meeting her eyes.
Elara went back to picking at her fruit, not quite in the mood. She'd just figure out what was in the letter later. Regulus wouldn't disclose to her any family information while they were in public anyway.
"Have you written back to your mother?" Regulus asked, taking a few bites of his eggs.
Elara didn't look to him, still watching her fruit. "Not yet. I'll write back soon," she mumbled. Leave it to Regulus to ask about the very thing that made her mood worsen with every moment.
"Are you at least going to write to your sister?"
"No."
Regulus wiped his mouth with a napkin, turning to fully face her with one arm leaning on the table. "Come on, Elara. She's your sister," he urged.
Elara clenched her jaw very lightly, trying to quell the way that sentence made her blood boil.
Regulus had always been fond of her sister. He'd always admired the way she'd have fun hexing muggles and muggleborns alike. He'd even asked to come along at times when Elara complained about it.
Even though he knew of her distaste towards Ayslyn, Regulus always tried to act as a mediator, as if anything would actually help rebuild their relationship. Her pleas with him about how her relationship with her sister was too far gone seemed to go into one ear and out the other.
His likeness with her sister was one of the things that irked Elara most about Regulus, who surprisingly didn't do a lot that could truly irk her. Her sister was not someone she'd ever want to look up to or even associate herself with, which was where her family differed from the Black family.
She knew that for a majority of their childhood that Sirius and Regulus has gotten along, which wasn't the case for her and Ayslyn. She used to be able to understand that maybe he'd wanted her to make up with her sister because of the way his relationship with Sirius was broken.
But over the years she noticed that it was more than that. Regulus seemed to look at Ayslyn as his own sister, as a role model. Elara could never truly understand what made Regulus praise her so.
Regulus' warped perception of her sister especially irked her now, since her mood was already so foul.
"And Sirius is your brother. But I've never once asked you to make amends," she snapped back, careful not to be overheard. Her eyes immediately widened, realizing what words had come out of her mouth.
Carefully, her gaze flicked up to where Sirius was sitting with James Potter at the Gryffindor table. Luckily, they were huddled in conversation, so he didn't notice.
But Regulus did.
"You did it again. Called him Sirius again." When she didn't respond he went on. "What are you not telling me Elara?"
"I haven't been keeping anything from you," she lied smoothly, her eyes meeting his. "I just thought it'd be inappropriate not to use his name in the context of my sentence."
Regulus fixed a suspicious stare at her but didn't press further. It was one of the things she'd appreciated most from their otherwise dysfunctional relationship. He never pried because emotions weren't quite their thing.
+++
The letter wouldn't be brought to sight again until later that day. They were in his dormitory - Elara working on an essay on his bed, Regulus sat at his desk, flipping the letter over nervously.
Ever since that argument in the empty corridor a month ago, their relationship had only strengthened somehow. They had plenty of these kind of days, often in his dormitory in comfortable silence that was only disturbed when necessary. It wasn't much, but for them, for Elara, it was all she'd ever needed from him.
She'd flick her eyes upwards every so often just to find him still staring at the unopened letter in his hands. Finally, she spoke up. "Reg, are you ever planning on opening that?"
He hummed in response, sparing a glance at her before turning his focus back to the letter. He straightened up in his seat, breathing a heavy sigh before slowly picking at the wax seal.
Elara watched him open it. She was much too far to read any of the words, but the way Regulus had gone stiff caught her attention. Furrowing her eyebrows, she continued to observe him, watching the way his jaw clenched and the way his breathing had gotten faster and heavier.
She stood from her position on his bed, walking carefully over behind him. He hadn't seemed to notice her approach, jumping when she'd placed her hands on his shoulders. He'd quickly planted the letter face down on his desk, but not before something on the letter caught her eye. It was her name.
Shaking off the odd feeling that her name gave her, she began to massage his shoulders, carefully plying out the knots in his muscles. "Is everything alright?"
"Everything's fine. Mother just asked how my studies were going," he replied dully. Regulus was a good liar, a trait that he took after from his brother. But it seemed that he had lost that touch for a moment, his lie falling flat between his lips.
"That's all?"
"That's all," he said more smoothly, reaching up to touch her fingertips. He held onto them, as if afraid she would disappear if he didn't. "Elara? Your family, do they hold an interest for the Dark Arts?"
The question unsettled her. This side of her family was always a sore subject, something she didn't like to think about, much less talk about. But she decided that she may as well answer truthfully, well aware that Regulus' family was the same. "Yes. They've.. dabbled in a few spells while I was a child. When I get home for holidays, they try to hide the Dark magic, but I find a few oddities lying around the house that hadn't been there before I left."
While her parents never used any of the Unforgivable Curses in front of her, she was afraid that there was more to them that they weren't showing her.
He just nodded, stroking the skin on her palm with his thumb. They sat there in silence, Regulus continuing to stroke her hand as she used her other hand to knead out the tension in his shoulders.
After a while in silence, he slowly got out of the chair, standing to face her. He let her fingers slip through his but never quite let go, his hold on her firm and gentle. "What I said that day, back in the corridor. About how you didn't hate muggles. I was right, wasn't I?" His eyes stayed focused on their interconnected fingers, his voice small.
Elara stared at him. It was a truth about herself she'd been avoiding her whole life. A truth she could never bring herself to accept.
"Reg-" he held a finger to her lips to silence her.
"I already know, Elara. It's alright." He slowly reached up to cup her cheek, timid and gentle. She stiffened for a moment before leaning into his touch. She'd never seen him this way. "I'm going to need to ask something of you."
She looked him in the eyes, giving him permission to ask. "Whatever we have, this marriage... a lot is going to happen soon. And I know that as my wife you'll feel obligated to keep up pretenses."
Elara tried to interrupt, but he shook his head, asking her silently to let him finish.
"My life is set to go one way. But yours, when the time comes, I hope you follow your heart Elara. Don't follow me blindly. Let yourself out of those ropes your family has you in, and make the choice you know is right." He smiled sadly at her. "Don't let them tie you in so tight before it's too late."
"I don't understand... what - what are you saying?"
"You know my beliefs, but I also know yours. Just.. when the time comes, when I make my decision, know that I will do everything in my power to keep you safe should you choose not to side with him," he said, his gaze piercing into her.
Elara was stunned, her breath caught in her throat. She'd attempted to respond, but couldn't find the words to leave her mouth. Finally she said, "What was in the letter?"
She watched as Regulus immediately seemed to withdraw from her, whatever spark of passion they'd had dwindling down. He avoided her eyes. "It's not of importance. Just... remember what I promised. It's a promise I don't ever intend to break."
And with that he'd pulled away from her completely.
They were back to the Elara and Regulus that were only held together by an arrangement made long before both of them were born.
It hurt her to feel him slowly close himself off again, because it was in moments like these that made her realize just how deep her love for him ran, even when she had never been able to express it in the way she should've. But there was one thing she knew.
She needed to know what was in that letter.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE; wow wow long time no see, sorry!! i was just stumped in how i wanted this story to go and this chapter was pivotal to which way i would take it, which led to a lot of indecision on my part,,, either way i hope you're all doing well!