Shawn Carter,
I embraced Grant and Dria as they lowered Uncle Dennis into the ground. As far as the funeral, we felt we needed to do what was better for us and do the cheaper graveside option even though Beyoncé and Mikall gave us enough to go all out. I feel like he would want it that way.
Surprisingly, a lot of family and friends showed up. I forgot how close Dria was to our family. Too bad they never came around when he was alive or when we needed them.
"Awww, Shawn." My cousin, Brittany, spoke. "Is that your daughter with Lori?"
"Yeah. This is her." I told them. "Can you tell them hello? These are Daddy's cousins. They don't live close to here."
"Hello." She smiled.
"Hi, beautiful." She said. How old are you?"
"Four, I'll be five really soon."
"Really? You talk so well."
"Thank you!" She grinned big.
"She is just a beautiful as her mother, but she is a spitting image of you." She said.
"You think so?" I chuckled.
"I know so." She said as the rest agreed. "I saw where you both got back together. You and Lori?"
"We ain't back together," I told them. "My girlfriend is over there in white top and black pants."
"Oh, okay! I see you." She said. "Got you a billionaire boo."
"Chill." I chuckled. "I love her even if she wasn't. She holding me down and I'm doing the same for her."
"So you and Lori are just co-parenting? Her IG says otherwise."
"It's jealously for her when it comes to Bey. Bey is one of the chill girls that's about her priorities and not what people think of her. That's why I love her."
"Hell, if my father was a billionaire, I wouldn't give a fuck about what these bitches had to say either. Baby mama or not. I don't blame her at all. I'm glad you're doing well as a man and father to them both."
"Thank you!" I smiled.
"Daddy." Shai said. "People are eating inside. Can I please get some food?"
"Yeah. Come on!" I said looking back for Beyoncé who was heading in our direction. "Hey baby. These some of my cousins. They were just talking about you."
"All good things I hope."
"Absolutely! Nice to meet you." Britt said shaking her hand.
Beyoncé shook the rest, "Nice to meet you all as well."
"Shai wanted some food from the repast. You wanna head in and get you some?"
"Sure." She said. "It was nice meeting you all."
"Same to you." They grinned.
Shai grabbed both of our hands to walk us inside the back of the church where we fell in line to fix a plate. I felt Lori's eye is both down. I honestly didn't even know why she was here. I didn't invite her, but she's never liked my family around Shai so that's going to be her excuse if I ask.
"We can stop and get something on the way out, baby." I told her. "If you don't want this."
"No. This looks good." She said going to sit down.
"BB, come sit here." Shai motioned to the empty seat by her.
"Okay!" She said.
"Where Daddy gone sit?" I asked with my arms out.
"You gotta stand up, Daddy." She grinned, the family around us laughed.
"Shawn, let me talk to you outside for a second." Lori asked standing up.
Beyoncé didn't seem to think anything about it. I followed her outside though. As soon as we got a quiet place on the side of the church, we sat down on a swing.
"So this is what you want?" She asked.
"What?" I chuckled.
"Her." She said.
"What?" I chuckled. "I mean we never really ended the relationship. It was just a little misunderstanding."
"A misunderstanding, Shawn? Really? A misunderstanding?" She smiled. "So it was a misunderstanding when you were inside my fucking pussy the other night?"
I laughed, "I was desperate. Yeah, we fucked but I ain't really think too much about it when I saw her again."
"No, you were using me for a place to stay, which I was gonna let you do easily."
"You just want me to be with you and I don't want that. I wanna be there for my daughter and I wanna be with my girl. I love Beyoncé and I never really meant to do that one night stand shit witchu. I can't lie, it was good, but...I'm good with Bey."
She was shaking her head the whole while.
"After everything I did for you. After everything my parents have done for you." She said.
"Lori, you mad cause I don't wanna be with you. I get it. It's not about being selfish towards what y'all have done. I know what y'all did and I'm appreciative of everything, but I just don't love you like that no more. What me and Bey got is different from what I ever felt with any other female before. She ain't childish on the gram. She ain't stuck up just because she got money. She's just that fun laid back type of girl that loves me for me."
"This is so fucking ridiculous." She mumbled.
I sighed, looking straight ahead.
"I don't even know why I'm even trying with you."
"Me neither, yet you still doing it," I grinned. "Suck it up, baby girl. Life goes on!"
I finally looked at her in the face to see her wiping tears rolling from her eyes. She sniffed, while shaking her head as Shai came running over.
"Mommy, can I play with them over there?" She pointed towards a group of her cousins. "Please!"
"No, we're about to go. Grab your coat." She stood up.
"Mommy, why are you crying?"
"Go grab your coat, Shai. Thank you!" She pointed.
She ran over to Beyoncé, where she helped her put it on. They both began to come over.
"Everything alright?" Beyoncé asked.
"Yeah." I nodded. "You ready to go?"
"Yeah." She nodded.
"Beyon-," Lori started before holding her tongue. "You know what? Never mind."
"No, what's the issue?" Bey asked her. "Why you keep blowing your face up at me every time we look in each other's direction?"
"Cause it's you." She said. "You don't fucking let up, do you?"
"What are you talking about?"
"You getting back together with Shawn when you saw that we were together. You know damn fucking well that's the only reason you went back." She said. "You saw all that shit I put out there of you and him when we had that fight, now it's clear you don't want me around him again."
Beyoncé laughed.
"I never thought about y'all being together. Yes, I know y'all slept together the other night, but it was misunderstanding as to why I left him. It wasn't even a whole day. I don't care what you two have going on as far as Shai or your co-parenting relationship, but I'm not here to come between that. We're together because we want to be together. Not because of jealousy or what anyone else says."
"Bitch, I oughta beatcho ass again." She said lunging for Beyoncé, who didn't flinch a muscle. "Fucking whore."
"Man, chill." I said holding her back. "Whatcho fucking mouth. Go on! Come on, baby!"
Beyoncé and I intertwined hands, heading to the car.
"Daddy, can I go with you?"
"Ask your Mama."
"Mommy, can I go with my Daddy and BB?" She whined.
"Go ahead, Shai. I don't give a fuck where you go." She mumbled, shooing her away.
Beyoncé and I grabbed hands and headed towards the car. I noticed Grant watching them put the cement block over Unk's grave. He seemed to be taking this harder than anyone.
"Hey, you going with me or Dria?"
"Don't matter." He shrugged.
"Aight, well I'm leaving now." I told him.
"I'll go witchu." He said shoving his hands in his pocket.
"You good?" I asked.
"Yeah, I will be." He dropped his head.
I felt Beyoncé come and rub our backs from behind. I wrapped my arm around her, then kissed her forehead right where she liked it.
"You boys are gonna be fine." She assured us. "I promise. Is this your Mom beside him?"
"Yeah." We nodded. "She bout covered with grass. Gotta get somebody out here to clean up."
"Yeah." Grant said. "Did Unk get a tombstone?"
"Nah, I'mma get Mama one before I get him one. They both deserve one, but she should've been had hers. We couldn't afford that shit at the time."
"Yeah." He mumbled.
"Come on!" I told them.
I hopped in the driver's seat of Beyoncé's new whip she got for her birthday. It was a white Mercedes G-Wagon. It's way too feminine for me, but it's still a nice little joint to drive.
"Aight, where we going?"
"Doesn't matter. Your place or mine."
"Aight, bet." I told her.
——
The four of us sat on the sofa of our new apartment eating hot wings and French fries. Ever since Beyoncé and Mikall helped up out with the place, we've been trying to get Dria ready to have the baby. That's all I can about right now. We've been putting cribs together and washing up baby clothes. It's really been great. Then to make it all even better, Ms. Tina is over to help and sometimes even Marjorie.
I had apologized to Marjorie for the way I acted. She's forgiven me, but I'm not even gonna mention to her how Lori has acted. I don't want to risk losing our help.
"This here?" I asked Dria, holding out a pile of clean baby clothes.
"Um the blue basket over there." She pointed.
"Oh!" I said. "What else you need?"
"I think that's is. Thanks, babe." She said. "Wait, can you put the basket on my bed?"
"Yeah."
I did as I was told, then went to check on Grant in the back room. He was watching Ms. Tina place bed linings in the crib he had put together.
"You did great!" She smiled at him.
"Thank you!" He said.
"Everything good back here?"
"Yeah, we're done in the baby's room. He's coming home to something really nice and I think you all should be very happy about that."
"Definitely! Thank you, Ms. Tina. We really appreciate you,"
"You're welcome." She said.
I went back into the living room where Beyoncé was looking at her phone. I buried my face in her neck until she pulled away from me, holding her phone out.
"What?" I asked.
Taking a seat beside her, I grabbed the phone to see what she was rolling her eyes about inside her head. I began to shake my damn head.
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loriharvey I swear NOBODY will love you the way I do, @shawncarter! 😞🖤 Fuck anybody that says or things any different. 💯
She had cut the comments off.
"She's blocked. I don't care baby." I told her. "I only have eyes for you. I promise."
I kissed her lips long and hard.
"So I'm going to LA in next week. I know you said something about Shai's birthday too." She said. "It's a lot going on, but the event is something both my father and mother usually attend, so I was thinking we go to LA and do something for her birthday. Lori's parents will more and likely be there so I'm hoping Lori will let us do something for her."
"That's dope, babe. I gotta make sure Dria good though." I told her.
"I know." She said. "I'm working it out."
"Y'all go ahead." She said. "I still have another month and half before this boy comes so I don't care. Just the sooner the better cause I really can't fly anymore."
"Well, if anything happens, we're on the private jet so we can land if anything happens. I just feel like it'll be a good trip for her. She's turning five and that's definitely a huge number and milestone. Did you have anything in mind that you were going to do here?"
"Just a big birthday party." I said. "Lori's family lives in LA and she doesn't really seem them often so I think it'll be fun to see them come. We don't have a lot of time to plan though."
"I got it babe." She laughed. "Let me handle this."
"You always tryna handle something." I chuckled.
"Cause that's what I do best." She said.
I laughed, pulling her into my arms. She rubbed my chest in circles, burying her face in it. I love this woman so much and I wouldn't do anything to risk us being together forever. I pecked her forehead again. It wasn't long before we were all knocked out in different places of the house. It was long and tiresome day. We needed it!
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