^play this when lydia and harry go to talk in the hallway if ya want :)
Lydia White
It's been two hours.
It was approaching 4 in the morning, and I've barely been able to comprehend anything that's happened tonight.
After Harry came back all bloodied and upset, he shook his nerves after seeing Niall's state. He told Louis to bring Niall to the hospital and to bring me with them.
I told Harry that I wanted to stay with him but he didn't even hesitate to decline. He said he and Liam had to deal with Cody's body. As disturbing as it was, they had to clean up the mess so no one else in the apartment saw it.
So now, I was sitting in the hospital waiting room with Louis, waiting to hear back from the doctor about Niall and waiting for Harry and Liam to show up.
My leg was bouncing in anxiety as the minutes that were passing by felt longer and longer. Louis was sitting next to me, staying completely silent and I couldn't even remotely tell what he was feeling.
"Do you think he's gonna be okay?" I speak up, trying to break the awkward silence between us.
He shrugs and keeps looking forward. "I hope so." he says blankly.
He clearly had no interest in talking to me, which I guess I understood. We didn't have the best relationship. There were no hard feeling towards each other or anything, but we merely just existed in the other's world and that was it.
I look down at the ground lost in my thoughts when I suddenly heard Louis' voice again.
"Are you like...okay?" he hesitates.
I shift my vision to him and notice that he was actually looking at me now.
"Y-yeah I'm fine." I say.
He pauses and sighs. "Listen, we're gonna be stuck in this waiting room alone for god knows how long. You might as well talk to me. I know there's more going on." he says, taking me by surprise.
I took this as Louis' way of telling me that I could talk to him. It was like an asshole, cool guy way of saying 'you can confide in me' without actually saying it.
I take a breath through my nose and gaze up at the ceiling, leaning back in the chair as my head rests against the wall. "Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve Harry."
I can feel the burning look of confusion coming from Louis. "What?"
I sit up and fold my knees on the chair, bringing them to my chest and now looking at Louis.
"I kicked him out. And it was all over a stupid argument and yet he shows up regardless to save my ass like he always does." I vent.
"Okay but you'd do the same for him, wouldn't you?" Louis questions.
"Of course."
He pauses and looks at the ground, before looking back up at me. "You remember the night that you found out about the gang? The night you ran away?"
Vividly. Thank you for the reminder.
I nod and arch my brow, not knowing where he was going with this.
"Well, I do too. Because I was there." he says.
I tilt my head in confusion. "What?" my voice raises.
"I woke up and I saw everything. I saw you run out of the house."
"Where are you going with this?"
"Lydia," he says, "I watched Harry chase after you. I'll tell you right now that I've never seen him run after anything faster in his life. And it wasn't because he didn't want you to run and tell someone about the gang, or because he wanted to kill you for knowing his secret..." he shakes his head and sighs. "It was because he was losing something that meant so much to him and he was terrified."
All I could do was stare at Louis with my lips parted in muted shock.
"I've known Harry for a long time. He wasn't a lover. He wasn't a good person. He was the type of person that any sane person would fear." he says. I press my lips together and look down at the ground.
"But then," he continues, "you came along." he says, making me look back up. "You managed to take one of the most cold-hearted people on the planet and make him fall in love. I watched it happen right before my eyes, we all did. That idiot loves you more than he's ever loved anything. So, Lydia...don't ever question if you deserve him or not. Give yourself some credit. You sparked something in him that I thought was dead."
I couldn't even begin to explain how Louis' explanation made me feel. I suddenly felt such a deep appreciation for Harry and I swear to god I almost got emotional...
...but then again, everything has been making me emotional lately.
I look down at my hands, looking down at the bare finger that used to be wrapped in the silver band and the pink gem that signified our love and our promises.
'To promise that, even if I'm gone, I'll be with you always. To promise that I'll love you in this life and in the next'. That's what he said to me as he placed the ring on my finger. He spilled his heart out to me and gave me that beautiful symbol of his feelings because he thought he was going to die...and I threw it at him.
"I love him too." I mumble to Louis, keeping my eyes glued to my hands.
"I know you do, kid." he breathes in and pauses for a moment. "So, tell him."
I furrow my brow and look up to notice that Louis was looking off to the side and smirking very slightly. I follow his gaze and that's when I saw him...Harry.
He stood a few feet away with Liam, giving me a small half-smile when our eyes met. He was clean of any blood and any trace of what happened back at my apartment.
I felt instant relief and warmth just by seeing him again.
My body stood up from the chair before my brain could tell me not to.
I walk right up to him, and he gazes at me with my every move. His lips part as if he was going to speak, but I wrap my arms around him and tuck my head into his chest before he got the chance.
He doesn't waste a second before he does the same, engulfing my smaller frame into his broader one.
It was a mutual grateful embrace. It was our unspoken way of showing that we were just relieved to be in each other's arms again safely...at least for the time being.
I pull away but remain standing close to him because I really didn't want to leave his side again, and I could tell that he felt the same due to the way he pulled me in to his side with his arm.
"How's Niall?" Harry asks Louis.
Louis shrugs as his knee bounces up and down. "We're still waiting for the fucking doctor to tell us something."
"Shit." Harry huffs under his breath.
I was worried for Niall. He lost a lot of blood and the bullet could have hit something vital. But I wanted to stay positive, because I've learned that negative thoughts result in negative outcomes.
"I feel like he's gonna be okay." I speak, making all heads turn toward me.
"Me too." Liam chimes in and I smile at him in return.
"Well, if we're gonna be here awhile..." Harry starts, then grabs my hand and pulls me out from his side so I was standing in front of him. "...we need to talk." he says, his green eyes burning into mine.
I look back at Louis and Liam, who were now sitting next to eachother. Louis gives me an approving look and a wink as if he was saying 'here's your chance'.
Harry takes us into a secluded hallway. It was so quiet and empty, our echoing footsteps and the dim lighting made reality feel altered.
I sit down on the floor against the brick wall and Harry slides down right beside me.
He looks forward for a minute. I cross my legs and fiddle with my fingers as my stomach fluttered in anticipation.
"I hate when we fight." he speaks up.
I bite my lip and softly shut my eyes for a moment. "Me too."
"Look what came of it. He almost killed you." he says, still looking at the wall on the opposite side of us.
"It's not your fault." I reply with my voice just above a whisper.
"It is. I thought about it all day. I was so-" he shakes his head as he tries to formulate what to say, "-irrationally mean."
"I was being ridiculous and-"
"Stop doing that." he cuts me off and chuckles under his breath. "Let me apologize, would you?"
I bite my lip as I suppress a smile. "Sorry."
He purses his lips and bites down on the inside of his cheek, brows furrowed and jaw clenched. "I was thinking about what you said." he says. "And then, I kept picturing and imagining things that I never thought I would."
I sit and take in his every word, watching the side of his face as I wait for him to continue.
"I think-" he sucks in a sharp inhale. "I think we should have kids one day."
I widen my eyes and sit up with my back straight.
"Harry, you don't have to say that just because I said I want kids."
He shakes his head and turns his head to face me. "No, I mean it." he says, putting his hand on my leg assertively. "Lyds, I was lying in bed and I literally imagined us living in a house with kids running around. I imagined you as a mother and me as a father and it scared me at first but...when I just relaxed and let my mind drift to that place-" he wets his lips before they curl into a brief smile. "-I didn't let it scare me anymore."
I smile and feel my heartbeat quicken, but in the best way possible.
His eyes, his genuine eyes, met mine and all I could feel was love.
"One day, when all of this shit is over, I want to start a family with you. I want to start our next chapter." he says.
My lips tremble slightly and my eyes begin to coat with a glossy glaze. "That's really what you want?"
He smiles, making his dimples pop as he nods. "Yeah." he exhales. "Yeah, it is...if it's what you want."
I couldn't take my eyes off the man I loved so much. There wasn't a person on this earth that could make me feel the way he did...and there wasn't a person on this earth that I'd rather spend the rest of my life with.
"Of course that's what I want." I smile.
His hand comes up to my bruised cheek, and he rubs his thumb along it very gently. "I love you so much."
I feel a small tear sneak it's way out of my eye. "I love you too."
With a soft smile on his lips, his eyes drift to his pinkie finger. "I believe this belongs to you." he says, making my eyes follow his.
There, on his pinkie, sat my ring among his ring covered hand.
He twisted it off his slender finger, and then took my hand.
He gently slides it onto my ring finger. I watch his focused eyes as he does so.
When the ring goes on, he brings my hand up to his lips and plants a soft kiss on my finger.
Just like that, we were perfect in our own little way again.
I'm never taking advantage of his love again. I'll never turn him away like I did again.
He's my soulmate, and I've come to the realization that he's not going anywhere anytime soon...
and neither am I.
//
hii 💕 i hope you're all liking the story so far. you all make me so happy and it's such an honor to write for you.
also—random side note lol—i made a playlist of songs that are either in the book or that i listen to when i'm writing and it's literally so therapeutic i love it.
i love you all so so so much 🥺