Does anybody know the last time I updated? I think it was like last Wednesday but I'm not sure.
Shout out to SarcasmQueen1583 for coming up with the main idea for this chapter. Thank you! (It's actually more in the next chapter, but this is leading up to that.)
There's only like maybe less than five chapters left in the story, so I'm feeling a little emotional right now, don't mind me.
Note: I may or may not have cried the tiniest bit as I was writing the second part of this chapter. Please don't kill me.
*Note*: I was originally going to make this all one chapter but then it turned out it was close to like 6000 words, so I split it into two. Also, we might be going past the predetermined 50 chapters; I think I'm dragging things out because I don't want to let this story go :/
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It's weird.
It's weird because we're not dating.
It's been, what, two weeks since feelings were confessed, and are we dating?
Nope.
He hasn't asked me. He hasn't even brought it up.
Does that mean I'm supposed to ask?
Or does he just not want to date me?
Was the whole love thing a lie?
I should not be pondering this at three in the morning, but I can't help it; I was made to overthink everything.
The light from my TV bathes my face in color as I stare at the screen, not really absorbing anything.
My head immediately snaps to the side to face my balcony doors—with the curtains open—as my heart sings in my chest, thumping away.
Aaron's smiling face, mostly covered in shadows, causes me to grin, and I stand up and walk over to the doors to let him in.
The doctor was a little hesitant at first, but he took my cast off and gave me a brace instead. I still can't move like I want to, but at least I don't have to use those fucking crutches.
As soon as the door opens, I'm wrapped up in Aaron's arms as he, like always, buries his face in my neck, pulling air into his lungs which causes a shiver to roll down my spine.
"Why are you up?" I ask him, my voice coming out as a whisper.
His only reply is a, "Couldn't sleep," and nothing else, but I let it go because he's putting his hands on my waist and is lifting me up.
My legs wrap around his waist as he turns to close my balcony doors, my head on his shoulder and facing inwards towards his neck.
He walks us over to my bed, moving my covers and carefully placing me under them, climbing in next to me when I'm settled.
Everything's like it always is when he sleeps with me like this.
Except he's not pulling me into his arms.
He's messing with a strand of my hair, eyes fluttering around my features.
After what feels like forever, he meets my eyes and a soft smile overtakes his face.
"Hi, Cassie," he whispers, and I roll my eyes.
"Hey."
We stare at each other, and I feel at home. Everything about this feels right, in a way that it didn't with Kyle.
I guess what I told him when he showed up outside my house was true; I don't think I ever loved him.
"How do you feel about the cold?" Aaron asks out of nowhere.
My nose automatically scrunches up and he chuckles.
"Not a fan?" he guesses, and I shake my head in response.
"It's alright, I guess, but, I don't know, I just prefer warm weather over cold."
"What if I was there with you?"
His eyes, which had previously been on my hair, shift to meet mine, and I stop breathing from the intensity coming off them in waves.
"Depends on where we're going," i whisper, clearing my throat to rid it of the hoarseness that appeared out of nowhere.
I'm lying.
It wouldn't matter where we were because, one, I'd go anywhere with him, and two, I could just hug him the whole time and be fine.
Seriously, he makes me feel all warm on both the inside and outside.
And I love it.
"New Jersey," he says. "Do you want to come to New Jersey with me?"
I eye him. "Why?"
He shrugs, trying to seem nonchalant, but he's swallowing more, and the hand that he moved to my waist tightens the slightest bit.
"I just...want you to come with me."
"Do my parents know about this?"
He immediately nods. "Of course they do. I wouldn't be asking you if they didn't." I raise my eyebrows. "Okay," he concedes. "I probably would've still asked you and snuck you away. But," he adds. "What matters is that they do know and they said we could drive up there by ourselves."
A shot of happiness is injected into my system.
In a car with Aaron, alone, for more than four hours?
Sounds awesome.
At beginning of the school year, hell, a month ago, if you had told me I would be driving somewhere with Aaron and would be faced with the prospect of being alone with him for hours, I would groaned and whined and begged not to go.
Now, though, all I feel is elation, running through my veins and threatening to send my heart into overdrive.
"Cassie?" he murmurs softly, moving closer so his face is right in front of mine, his forehead pressed against mine.
"Yeah?" I let out, my voice shaking from his closeness.
"I'm so in love with you."
I melt. I become a puddle on my sheets. And I know I'll never get tired of hearing that.
"I know," I say, my tone cocky, not wanting him to catch the fact that he's going to kill me every time he says that.
I think he knows, though, because he smirks at me before he moves his head to snuggle into the space between my neck and the pillows, the way he always does.
He pulls my body against his and wraps his arms around me, holding me close, like he never wants to let me go.
I stay awake as his breathing deepens and slows down, and I'm still awake when I know he's asleep.
"I'm so in love with you, too" i say into the silent room, pulling him closer as my heart races as a result of the words.
Now I just need to work up my courage so i can say it to him.
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"Cassie."
I whine and roll away from the voice, pushing my head underneath one of my pillows as I try and go back to sleep.
My brain is telling me it's nowhere close to the time I need to be up, so I'm not getting up.
Fuck the rules.
God, I'm so tired.
My body starts shaking, probably because of the hand on my upper back.
"Come on, Cassie, you have to pack. We need to leave."
I give another whine as a response, and I give a happy sigh when the hand leaves my back.
I love my sleep.
And then a hand lands on my butt and squeezes, and I yelp as I roll out of bed and fall on my back on the floor.
I stare up at Aaron, my eyes wide, his face showcasing his smirk, and I'm not so tired anymore.
He reaches down and picks me up from the floor, plopping me on the bed as he points at a suitcase resting on the bed at my side.
It has clothes, my clothes, in it.
I shoot a blank glance at Aaron, and he sighs.
"We got to go if we want to make it and actually have time to do things before we go to sleep."
I grumble under my breath, but I let out a sigh and stand up, moving to my dresser to grab some underwear and bras and socks.
A huge yawn leaves my mouth.
I'm so fucking tired.
I hear Aaron sigh, and I'm being picked up and placed back on the bed, under the covers.
I give Aaron a questioning stare, and he leans down to brush a kiss against my forehead, which makes me close my eyes sleepily.
"I'll finish packing for you, Cassie. Go back to sleep."
I don't want to. Yes, I'm tired, but I feel bad for making him do stuff for me when I'm perfectly capable of doing them myself.
But when he places a soft kiss on my lips and then another on the tip of my nose, I can't stop myself from falling asleep.
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I wake up a little while later, and right away, I know I'm not in my bed.
My eyes open slowly as I fight off the urge to just go back to sleep.
I'm staring out the window of a car, looking at the sky that's just starting to turn lighter as the sun rises.
My neck starts to cramp up, so I force myself to sit up, letting out an uncomfortable grunt as the bones in my neck and back crack loudly.
The seat I'm sitting in is all the way back, and I'm in a car that I've seen sitting in Aaron's driveway before.
Apprehension rises in me, but I push it back down.
I'll be fine. Aaron's not going to crash, I'll be fine.
The trees pass in a blur of movement, and I look to my left, falling back against the seat when I see Aaron driving, one hand on the wheel, and the other messing with the radio, turning the knob as he tries to find a station to listen to.
"Aaron?" I say softly, my eyes closing for longer than a blink before I manage to force them back open. "What time is it?"
He glances at me briefly, but then he looks back to the road, stopping the radio on a pop station and turning it down.
"Go back to sleep, Cassie."
"How long have you been driving?" I say, more awake now as I take in the signs that I don't recognize as we drive down a highway I've never been on.
If we're this far out that I'm not recognizing any signs, he must've been driving for a while, and he must be tired.
"A couple of hours, maybe? Now go back to sleep."
I pull the lever and bring the seat forward. Being laid back in the seat like that is going to end up making me fall back asleep.
"I'm not tired."
I contradict myself by letting out a huge yawn, my eyes shutting and staying closed when the yawn ends.
"Why did you stay up so late?" he asks me.
I shrug against the seat, the action causing a weird sound as my skin rubs against the leather. "I don't know. I was watching TV."
And then i watched him sleep for a couple of minutes—cough, hours, cough—and then the next thing I know I'm being woken up.
We sit in silence, my eyes closed—seriously, when is my brain going to realize I need to wake up—and a ringtone blares in the small car.
Aaron, keeping one hand on the wheel and his eyes on the road, reaches into the backseat and starts shifting bags around, his efforts focused on one bag on particular.
As soon as I open my mouth to tell him to focus on the road, the car swerves and my heart leaps into my chest as the panic in me rises.
I hear glass shattering like it was punctured with a bullet, metal bending under the pressure of a car slamming into it, the screeching of tires, the feeling of my head slamming into the dashboard as the airbag comes out.
My head spins, and I can't breathe, can't make air come into my lungs, and the seatbelt around me is tight, too tight, and the roof of the car comes down, trapping me, and I'm going to die, I can't breathe, why can't I breathe, I'm going to die in a car like I should've did the first time–
"Hey, hey, hey, Cassie, breathe, you're okay, we didn't but anything."
I feel a light fluttering touch on my arms, on my face, on my legs, and I know we're not moving anymore, the car isn't moving anymore, and the ice-cold fear slowly starts to fall away, taking the panic in my veins with it.
My eyes shoot open, even though I don't remember closing them, and I see my door open and my seatbelt is off.
Aaron is crouching, his hands cradling my face as his thumbs wipe away the tears falling from my eyes.
"I'm sorry," he says, his voice coming out choked as tears of his own start to fall. "I'm so sorry, I thought I could reach it, I didn't mean to scare you." I let out a sob and throw myself against Aaron, who wraps his arms around me and holds me tight as he starts shuddering. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
He starts rocking us as he sits on the ground with me on his lap.
Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.
"I'm sorry."
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I already told you guys this, but I recently came out with a new story, one that I plan on updating regularly when this book is finished. For now, the first chapter is out, and I'd really appreciate it if you'd check it out!
There might be an update on Friday (or maybe Wednesday) but it doesn't look that way.
--Rose