"Gentle reader, may you never feel what I then felt! May your eyes never shed such stormy, scalding, heart-wrung tears as poured from mine. May you never appeal to Heaven in prayers so hopeless and so agised as in that hour left my lips: for never may you, like me, dread to be the instrument of evil to what you wholly love." Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre
----
XXXII.
Mrs Louisa Banes stood anxiously at the front door as she watched the four-horse carriage come to a stop before her house.
It had been one week since Eliza had returned home, and one week since her own precious child had wailed for her mother in a way that she had never done before, not even when she was a child.
Mrs Banes had been so sick with worry over Eliza, so desperately anxious for news of her safety. She knew her own mischievous daughter, and what she was capable of getting herself into. When Katy had written just over a fortnight ago, now, that Eliza was in the British Virgin Islands, Mrs Banes was relieved, and so very furious.
She was ready to scold Eliza within an inch of her life, and yet when she had seen her standing in her father's study, all anger had vanished in favour of holding her dear girl.
Eliza was many things, not one of them being a lady. And yet, how much every one of her qualities had vexed Mrs Banes over the years, she would have given every penny she had to see them again.
Mrs Banes did not know the girl upstairs. Eliza had vanished. She had barely eaten, barely slept, and had cried so much Mrs Banes was afraid she would die of thirst.
The minute she heard about Captain Tom Buckley, Mrs Banes disapproved of him. Who was he? Who was his family? Did he have a fortune? Did he own his own business? She knew that was her head talking, judging, as she tended to do.
But her heart saw the happiness, the light in Eliza's eyes as she spoke of her honourable captain. All she wanted was Eliza's happiness. Mrs Banes could see her daughter was very much in love, and she had quickly resigned to having a sea captain for a son-in-law.
Her heart had allowed her daughter to run off to meet with her captain, to bring him home to meet her parents. Mrs Banes knew that there needed to be several conversations before a formal announcement of an engagement could be made ... namely the excuse that they would all come up with for their meeting.
Mrs Banes had spread the word that Eliza was visiting with Harry's sister Penny, in her new marital home, for several months, so as not to tarnish her daughter's already delicate reputation.
Her head, however, knew the whole idea was wrong. And she was proved right when Eliza returned to her home in pieces, a fraction of the vivacious, spirited, and wondrous girl that had departed an hour earlier.
The Banes' footman went to the carriage, assisting the driver in letting down the step and starting to unload the trunks of the passengers. The footman paused to assist the travellers out of the carriage.
Four-and-a-half-year-old Lady Rachel Everett jumped down from the carriage first, dressed neatly in her dark travelling cloak, bright pink ribbons in her hair.
"Rachel," cheered Mrs Banes, extending her arms.
Little Rachel sprinted for her grandmother's arms and leapt up into them eagerly. Mrs Banes savoured the moment, before placing her back down to watch over Katy.
Katy followed with seventeen-month-old Lizzie on her ever-expanding hip. Mrs Banes rushed over to Katy, taking Lizzie from her, before kissing her daughter on the cheek.
Katy's bright blue eyes, which had always been mirrors to her thoughts, were filled with grave concern as she kissed Mrs Banes' cheek in return.
"We came as soon as we heard," Katy told Mrs Banes. "Harry will be along just as soon as he can."
"I am grateful you are come, Katy, my dear," Mrs Banes said sincerely. "You and Eliza have always had a precious bond. I hope that she will talk to you."
It did seriously grieve Mrs Banes that she could not help Eliza, that she could not heal her. The only information that she had managed to extract from Eliza was that Tom was gone, without any additions about what exactly had transpired.
"Is it safe to be travelling in your condition?" Mrs Banes suddenly asked. "I hadn't thought. How selfish of me," she cursed herself.
Katy placed her hand on her stomach, though it was covered protectively by her thick cloak. "The doctor visited me last week, and believes I still have another two months before the baby comes," she assured Mrs Banes.
The news of another grandchild had been the only grace in the last five months. Part of Mrs Banes' anger with Eliza had been the undue stress that she had put on Katy. Katy had revealed that she was expecting only a few weeks after Eliza's flight.
"Has she said anything?" Katy asked as she ushered Rachel inside the house. "Do you know the man?"
Mrs Banes shook her head on both accounts. "She returned from her visit with him at the harbour, and fell to her knees on this very floor," she said, pointing to the foyer floor they were standing on. "She wailed for me in such an agonised way that I thought someone had died. I fell to my knees beside her and cradled her as she wept. She shook with such violent sobs, and all I could do was hold her. She had been above stairs since."
Katy hugged Mrs Banes tightly, and she immediately fell to pieces in sobs. Mrs Banes clung to Katy for support, and her ever reliable, compassionate, and kind daughter gave her exactly what she needed.
"Do not worry, I am here," assured Katy. "I have no plan to leave you, or Eliza, any time soon. Harry is to follow with more of our things just as soon as they can be organised for the near future."
Even though Mrs Banes knew such an arrangement could never be permanent, she felt such a weight lifted at the knowledge that Katy would be there to help poor Eliza.
Mrs Banes, in turn, would be able to make herself useful in caring for Rachel and Lizzie, and Katy when she would let her. Mrs Banes would make sure that she took proper care of Katy, especially as her confinement neared.
"I will go up to her," Katy told Mrs Banes. "Would you watch my girls for me?"
Mrs Banes smiled. There was a time, of which she was now deeply ashamed, that she felt a great deal of jealousy over Katy, in particularly Eliza's preference for her over Mrs Banes herself. It was before she truly allowed herself to realise her own deep affection for Katy, and before she knew just how precious she, too, was to the Banes family.
Katy, whether she knew it or not, had long been the person to hold them all together, and Mrs Banes prayed that she would be the one to help put Eliza back together.
If anyone could help her poor child, it would be Katy.
Adjusting Lizzie on her hip, and taking Rachel's hand, Mrs Banes said, "Why do we not go and see what Grandpapa is up to? Mama is going to have a little visit with Aunt Eliza."
***
Katy had made several promises to Eliza over the years, most of them generally surrounding Eliza's need for Katy not to be angry with her whenever she did something foolish.
Katy had broken every one of those promises the moment she had discovered Eliza's note. She had been utterly furious at her sister, completely and utterly furious that she could be so reckless. Had she not any care for her own safety?
Because Katy certainly did and had been suffering with her own anxieties for months, just as poor Mr and Mrs Banes had been. She was certain that she would drive her own poor husband mad with her fretting and was lucky that Harry never seemed to tire of listening to Katy's stressors.
She had subsequently been rehearsing for months about what she might say to Eliza when they would meet again. Katy, of course, would never allow the thought of something truly untoward happening enter her mind.
But the minute she had read Mrs Banes' letter, and had learned of what had happened, her own heart broke for Eliza. Eliza was the sort of passionate creature who would fall head over heels in love with the sort of man who would so such a thing. She fantasised about pirates, and romanticised complicated heroes without understanding the consequences.
Katy could not bear the idea of Eliza in pain, and that put a stop to any of her previous resentment.
Katy held onto the rail as she climbed the stairs, moving slower than ever in her current state. She supported her large belly as she walked, and she made her way down to Eliza's bedroom.
She did not think to knock. She only wanted to see Eliza for herself, to see with her own eyes that she was safe, before she could comfort her.
She was greeted by dull light just as soon as she opened the door. The drapes were drawn, with small sunbeam creeping in through the gaps in the fabric. In the low light, she could make out a person in and amongst the piles of bedclothes, and Katy was immediately reminded of when she used to wake Eliza of a morning when they were both living in Wilshire.
"Let me die in peace, Mother."
It could only be Eliza. Even in her pain, Katy still felt a rush of relief at knowing Eliza was home and safe.
"It is not your mother," replied Katy. "It's me."
Eliza suddenly sat bolt upright in her bed. She turned the flame up in her bedside oil lamp, and Katy was greeted with Eliza's face for the first time in months.
She could almost gasp at the changes she saw.
She and Eliza both were not tall women, and so they were always very slight in frame. Eliza now looked so much fuller, stronger, in not only her face, but her arms as well. Her skin was so much darker, tan from the sun, and her nose and cheeks were now home to several freckles.
For a moment, Katy saw the old Eliza, the realEliza, before she saw the pain her dear sister was in. Her green eyes were red and bloodshot, and the shadows underneath her eyes were bright purple. Her bed side table was also covered in handkerchiefs.
"Katy," exhaled Eliza, a small smile filling her face. She threw back her bedclothes and flitted across the room, rushing into Katy's waiting arms.
"I have missed you," cried Katy into the crook of Eliza's neck.
"Not as much as I have missed you," countered Eliza. "Promise you don't hate me. I could bear it from anyone but you."
Pulling away, Katy looked into Eliza's eyes, and she felt herself well up uncontrollably. "Of course, I do not hate you," she assured her.
Katy watched as relief washed over Eliza, and that was the moment when her eyes dropped to Katy's protruding stomach. "You are fat!" she remarked.
"I think you will find these twenty or thirty pounds to be my son or daughter," scolded Katy. "But yes, I rather feel like a whale. I thank you for noticing."
"Oh, sorry," Eliza rolled her eyes at herself, before hugging Katy again spontaneously. "One day I will learn to mind my tongue. I missed you terribly, and I talked about you often."
Looking back again at Eliza, Katy wanted to say something, ask if she had been having these discussions with this man, and Eliza seemed to know her thoughts without Katy having to speak them.
All wonder and humour vanished again as heartbreak pummelled Eliza like a punch to the stomach. She all but collapsed and let out an agonised sob. Katy did her best to lower herself to the floor, knowing she would need assistance in getting up again, so that she could comfort her sister.
"Please," she begged, "tell me everything. Let me help you."
----
Hope you enjoyed!!
Very exciting day today - I am now a part of Wattpad's paid story program! The Accidental Duchess is now officially a paid story, and I am so excited!
The first four chapters are free, but you need to pay to continue. If you are able to support me in this way, I would be so grateful! However, if you can't, that's totally okay, too! This story, and all my others remain free for you to enjoy :)
And so today's quote is fitting two fold - not only is it appropriate for poor Eliza, but it is written by the woman who inspired my pen name <3
Tomorrow is Friday, thank God. I need the weekend!
Vote and comment!!